by Amy Cross
And there's nothing moving. Nothing alive. No sign of anyone.
"Duncan!" I shout as loud as I can, my voice echoing between the shelves. "Duncan!"
Two
One week later
In my wolf form, I walk along the top of the bookshelf. When I get to the end of an aisle, I leap over the gap and starting walking along the next. This is what I've been doing for days and days and days: just walking and hoping that somewhere, somehow, I'll see something that helps me find Duncan and find a way out of the library. But everything has kind of blurred together, and now I don't even know where I'm going. The library has become this huge abstract maze, but a maze made of nothing but straight lines intersecting with one another in a huge grid.
All around, as far as I can see, there's nothing but bookshelves stretching to the horizon. I've no idea how many books there must be here, but it must be well over a billion. All the knowledge of the world, gathered here in such an ordinary way. How can something so amazing and powerful look so... boring! Duncan said there were creatures in the library, but the place seems utterly dead: apart from those spider-like creatures that attacked us, all I've seen have been a few skeletons. There aren't even any birds in the sky.
Off towards the east, there's smoke rising in the distance, which I guess must be that 'war' that Duncan mentioned was raging in part of the library. Occasionally I think I hear the sound of roars coming from that direction, but apart from that the whole place is spookily quiet.
So here I am, wandering across the library forlornly, hoping against hope that fate will somehow step in and save me. I've kind of given up thinking I can use my mind to find a way out. Everything I do is just guesswork. I'm still finding it impossible to find my way around this place. It's been a week since I was separated from Duncan, and I don't seem to be any closer to finding him. If anything, I feel like I'm getting further and further away.
I stop and sit down, looking out across the view. I've spent most of the past week in my wolf form, drinking water from occasional puddles that I find down between the shelves. Other than that, I stay up on top so that I can get a better view of the area around me. The last thing I want is for more of those spider-like things to sneak up on me. I'm getting baked in the heat of the day, but at night it's cold. There were a couple of brief rain showers, but so far I haven't been able to find any food. There aren't any mirrors, but I'm pretty sure I must be getting dangerously thin, and I'm going to need food soon. The problem is, I haven't seen a single living creature since I ran from the spider-like things that chased me.
I'm lost.
I'm totally fucking lost.
I don't even know if I'm walking towards the entrance, or away from it.
All I know is that I'm walking in a straight line and I don't seem to be heading towards anything other than the horizon.
"Hey!" shouts a voice from somewhere nearby. "Look up there!"
At first, I don't even notice the voice. I guess I've pretty much given up thinking that there might be anyone around.
"Fucking hell," says the voice, and finally I realize they're close to me. Shocked to hear people, I look down and see two male humans walking between the aisles. They're wearing what seem to be business suits, and they're looking up at me. Each of them is carrying what seems to be a spear. There's something about the way they're looking at me that makes me feel a little uneasy.
"What the fuck is a wolf doing in here?" the other guy says, smiling. He turns to his friend. "You ever eaten dog?"
"You think you can hit it from here?" the first guy asks him.
"I can try," his friend replies, raising his spear. I leap down into the next aisle before he has a chance to attack, and I quickly switch to my human form. I'm immediately shocked when I see how thin my arms are. I listen as the two men walk along the next aisle, discussing whether they can catch up to me.
"Hi," I say, stepping out in front of them.
They stop in their tracks, clearly shocked to see me.
"Who the fuck are you?" the first guy asks.
"Jess," I say. "Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm Thomas," the first guy replies, "and this is my friend Lewis. We were..." He pauses. "Did you happen to see a wolf around here?"
I point back down the aisle. "She went that way," I say, lying, "but she was running real fast. I doubt you'd be able to catch her."
"Fuck it," says Lewis, clearly annoyed.
"Ignore my friend," Thomas says. "He's just hungry." Of the two of them, Thomas is by far the more handsome. He has rugged good looks, whereas Lewis is thin and wiry with pinkish round eyes and a beak-like nose.
"No kidding," I say. "I'm starving. There's not a burger place in here, is there?"
"No such luck," Thomas says. He pauses, clearly eying me up. "Where'd you come from?" he asks, suddenly seeming a little suspicious. "What kind of book are you looking for?"
"I'm here with a friend," I say, "though I can't find him. I haven't seen him for a while. Have you seen a tall, good-looking guy who acts a bit strange? He often mumbles incoherently and talks about things that don't make sense." I sigh, realizing that the odds of them having seen Duncan are tiny. "I guess that's a 'No', then."
"Just us," Thomas says, smiling. "We're on a hunting trip. We're supposed to find food and take it back to our tribe."
"Tribe?" I ask.
"We got lost in here," he says. "We came in a large group, to find books so that we could learn from them and take the knowledge back to our civilization. Unfortunately our maps were destroyed, and after a few years we just gave up trying to find a way out. We were woefully under-prepared. A lot of us died. Now there are about fifty of us left, living over in the Cultural Studies section. We're pretty comfortable. Life could be worse. The only problem is the lack of food. That's why we wanted to find that wolf."
"Could've fed us for a week," Lewis adds, sounding bitter. "We've learned to be pretty frugal with what we find. There's not much that we'd leave behind on a carcass like that. Even the bones could've been used for stock."
"Yeah," I say, "well..." It's pretty weird standing here talking to two guys who're practically salivating about the prospect of cutting me up and feeding me to their 'tribe'. "So what do you guys usually eat?"
"There are things," Thomas says. "Things that live in the library. Creatures that don't taste too bad after a while." He pauses. "You get used to it." He stares at me again, still seeming a little suspicious. "The problem is that we can't afford to take on a free-loader. No offense. If you want to eat with us, you need to contribute, otherwise you're just another mouth to feed."
"Who said I want to eat with you?" I ask, annoyed at his assumption.
"Well... look at you," he replies. "You're like a skeleton. You clearly haven't eaten anything for a while. Another couple of days, you'll be just another pile of bones between the shelves."
"And then something'll eat you," Lewis adds helpfully.
"I'll be fine," I say. "You really don't need to worry about me, but thanks anyway. I appreciate the concern." Realizing that these two guys don't have anything much to offer me, I turn to walk away. I guess it was too much to hope that I'd stumble into some helpful guys who'd feed me and point me in the right direction.
"Wait!" Thomas calls out. "Maybe we can help each other!"
I stop in my tracks. Although I desperately don't want to have anything to do with these guys, I can't help thinking that maybe they could at least be useful for a day or two. If I'm going to find Duncan, I need some food to keep me going, and I need to have some idea of which direction I'm going. "Fine," I say, turning back to face them. "What do you really think we can do?"
"We don't always eat meat," Thomas says. "We tend gardens between the shelves. We grow vegetables, and we eat pretty well. Meat's a rare luxury when we find something we can handle. It doesn't happen often. If you're interested in coming to join out tribe, we could probably find something for you to do. I know you're a little weak, but believe me w
hen I say that you're in better shape than most of us."
"I'm not looking for something permanent," I say. "I just want some help finding my friend and working out which way to go."
"We don't have maps," Lewis says. "And we're not just going to give you food so you can turn around and walk away. If you want anything from us, you're going to have to give us something in return."
"Like what?" I ask.
"We'll think of something," Lewis says bluntly, eying me with a kind of cold steel.
I shrug, feeling pretty annoyed at Lewis. He seems so arrogant, as if he thinks they'd be doing me a huge favor just by letting me hang out with their miserable little 'tribe'. "Don't worry about it," I say. "I'm not gonna stay in this place anyway. I'm not from around here."
"Then we can't help you," Lewis continues. "If you're just passing through, that's great, but our lifestyle is all about permanence these days. If you want to keep trying to get out, good luck to you, but we can't do anything for you. We've given up on trying to find a way out, but life can be good in the library."
"Sounds great," I say sarcastically. "You're out hunting wolves for dinner, and it doesn't look like you're doing very well at it."
"Your choice," Lewis says, turning and walking away.
"You should come with us," Thomas says, smiling. "At least for tonight. Maybe we can work something out, and you'll be safer if you're in our settlement rather than wandering around out here. If we hadn't found you, that wolf might have had you for dinner."
"I'll come," I say, "but I'm not gonna change my mind. I have to find my friend."
"You should accept that he might be dead," Thomas says as we start walking, with Lewis a little way ahead. "Even if he's alive, the odds of you simply stumbling upon him in a place this big are astronomical. At some point, you're going to have to stop clinging to the past."
"It's only been a week," I say, "so I think there's at least a chance that maybe I can still find him and then we can get out of here."
Thomas sighs. "I've seen this a thousand times," he says. "People get lost in the library, but they're always convinced that somehow they'll be the one who manages to find a way out. Then they start looking. And looking. And looking. The lucky ones give up, realize they're hopelessly lost, and start adapting to life here."
"And the unlucky ones?" I ask, kind of already knowing what he's going to say.
"They keep looking for a way out. Eventually they get to the point where they can't go on, and they collapse between the shelves. It's sad, but it's how the ecosystem works in the library. The smart ones get to feed off the bodies of the dumb ones."
"Mites!" Lewis shouts suddenly, and I see one of the large spider-like creatures climbing down from the top of a bookshelf.
"Get back!" Thomas says, pushing me behind him as he raises his spear.
"I've seen them before," I say. "I ran. That's how I got lost in the first place."
"They're fast," Thomas continues. "There's no way you could outrun them."
"Well I -" I start to say, and then I realize I can't explain because I can't tell him that I'm actually a werewolf.
"I can get this one!" Lewis shouts as the Mite approaches him. After aiming carefully, he throws his spear at the Mite, but it lashes out with one of its legs and knocks the weapon to the ground. Before Lewis can react, the Mite thrusts another leg straight at him; it impales him through the chest and comes out the other side, covered in blood.
"We have to get out of here!" I say, adrenalin pumping through my body.
Thomas grabs my arm. "Don't run! There's meat here! They're at their most vulnerable when they're feeding."
"It's killed him!" I shout.
"We can't change that!" Thomas shouts back. "Lewis would want us to get this fucker!" It's insane, but despite the fact that his friend is being attacked, Thomas seems more interested in watching what's happening and considering how to take advantage, rather than trying to help.
We watch as the Mite climbs on top of Lewis, who is still struggling to get free. Slowly, the Mite extends a kind of tube from its face, piercing Lewis in the neck, and moments later a kind of slurping sound starts. The tube is partially transparent, and I can see blood and other matter flowing up from Lewis, as if the creature is sucking him dry. After a moment, I realize that the creature is slowly getting larger, like a tick gorging itself on its victim's blood.
"Kill it!" I shout at Thomas.
"Shut up!" he replies, but he starts inching forwards, getting closer and closer to the creature. Finally, he aims the spear and stabs it straight into the creature's head. There's a high-pitched squealing sound, and the creature swipes at Thomas with one of its legs, but misses. After a moment, the creature withdraws the tube from Lewis and then slumps to the ground.
"Is it dead?" I ask, shocked.
"Yeah," Thomas says, although he stabs the creature's head a few more times just to make sure. "They're both dead."
I look down at Lewis. He's definitely dead: the hole where the tube punctured his neck is about the size of a fist, and his whole body seems to have crumpled inwards a little, as if a considerable part of his internal mass has been sucked out. Globs of blood and tissue drip from the end of the tube. The creature was basically sucking him dry.
"Can you carry him?" Thomas asks, as he pulls a large knife from a sheath around his waist and starts cutting the creature's head away from its body. "There's not a lot of usable meat on these things, but there's enough to feed the tribe for a night or two."
I look down at Lewis. Sure, I can carry him, but I'm not certain whether there's much point. I know it'd be sentimental to insist on burying the body, but I feel like Thomas should just accept that it'd be a waste of energy to drag the corpse. "Can't we just bury him here/" I ask.
"There's meat on his bones," Thomas replies as he cuts away more of the Mite's body.
"Are you serious?" I ask. "He's human!"
"There's meat on his bones!" Thomas shouts, apparently angry that I'm quibbling about the prospect of eating Lewis. "We don't have the luxury of throwing him away!" He finishes pulling pieces from the Mite. "Relax," he says. "We're not going to eat him. We've got chickens. We'll use his body parts to feed them."
"And then we'll eat the eggs?" I ask.
"And the chickens," Thomas adds, smiling. "I know it's a little bit gross, but it's the way of the world in the library. But this -" He holds up chunks of the Mite's head. "Seriously, we cook this, it actually tastes pretty good. Just pretend it's beef or something."
Looking down at Lewis again, I realize it'll be much easier to carry him if I'm in my wolf form. "Thomas," I say, a little apprehensively, "if I show you something, do you promise you'll be able to keep my secret?" I look over at him. "And you're definitely not allowed to try to eat me."
He frowns.
After a moment's hesitation, I switch to my wolf form. I see the shock in Thomas's eyes as he stares at me, and I see his hand tighten a little around the hilt of his knife. His first instinct is to attack, or perhaps to defend, but either way it's obvious that he sees me as a threat. "You're a werewolf?" he says.
I grab Lewis's hand and wait for Thomas to show me which way we're going. A little reluctantly, Thomas turns and starts walking along the aisle, carrying the chunks of Mite in his arms. We walk in silence for a couple of hours, and then Thomas stops and turns to me.
"We're almost there," he says. "For your own safety, you should be human again when they see you."
I let go of Lewis's arm before switching back to my human form. "Thanks," I say, hauling Lewis's body up over my shoulder and struggling forward. As we walk around the next corner, I stop as I see a dozen or so people in the next aisle. There are makeshift tents everywhere, and along one side there seems to be a small row of vegetables and plants. It's like a little encampment, and it wouldn't look particularly strange out in the wilderness; but here in the middle of a huge library, it's a bizarre sight, as if two entirely different worlds have collided.
"Welcome to our tribe," Thomas says.
I take a deep breath as I see some of the people look up and notice me. A few of them start wandering towards us, and they seem stunned by my presence. There's something slightly creepy about this place, but I guess I can handle it for a single night. Tomorrow morning, I'll be off to find Duncan. Tonight, I'll stay here with these people and eat. I need to rest, just for a few hours. I need to rest and recover from recent events, but I'm not willing to give up. I might be surrounded by people who have given up and accepted their life in the library, but I refuse to do the same. I'm going to find Duncan, and together we're going to find our way out of this library.
One year later
Three
"There's a war coming," says Marsha, sitting peeling potatoes as I tend to the spinach plants.
"You keep saying that," I tell her. It's true: Marsha spends all day, every day worrying about some war she's convinced is going to sweep through the library and kill us all.
"It's true," she says, the way she always does. "The whole library is going to be engulfed in flames. Even the shelves will burn. It'll be the end of everything. There'll be fire for centuries, and finally when it's over there'll be no more books left. All the knowledge will be gone. The Forbidders will get what they want, and the cycle will be threatened."
I smile. It's easy to dismiss Marsha's ravings. "Let's hope you're wrong," I say.
She doesn't bother to argue. She never does. She just gets back to her work, scrubbing and peeling potatoes. For some reason, the library is a perfect place to grow potatoes. While we struggle to get other crops to grow, potatoes seem to flourish. It's almost uncanny, but I swear that lately we've been living on potatoes and our crop is getting better. Even the spinach is starting to grow more reliably.