by Shealy James
Frustration coursed through me again. No matter how much attention I have given her and how many times I have told her how I feel, she still felt insecure about us. I didn’t know how to make that uncertainty go away, but I wouldn’t stop trying as long as I had her in my arms.
“Just stop right there,” I interrupted her. “First of all you know you’re all that I want. I’m in love with you and only you, and for that reason alone, being with you is superior to any other experience I’ve had combined. It’s different for us because we connect on a deeper level. It’s the reason we were instant friends. It’s the same reason I would have never settled for being just friends with you. You’re everything to me, so you have nothing to worry about.”
She leaned forward and gently kissed me before she rested her head on my shoulder. “I guess her words just pushed me over the edge. Alexis has an uncanny way of making me feel like I’m not right for you because I can’t figure out how you could have liked her and me. We’re too different.”
“That’s easy, baby. I never liked her. She was convenient. That may be terrible of me to say, but she never minded until you came along. Alexis can get over it though. After today I don’t plan on hanging out with her again.” She lay down on my chest and tucked her head under my chin. This was her spot and my heaven. My hands snuck under her shirt and started rubbing her bare back. She was still in her clothes she was wearing while she was trying to get ready to go out, and her thin shirt did nothing to conceal the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra.
“What about the band?” she asked distracting me before my hands could roam too far.
“What about them? Technically, I wasn’t in the band anyway.”
She sat up to look at me. I saw the disbelief in her eyes when she said, “I know, but you love playing with them.”
“You’re more important. Besides Grady and I can write songs without her. The guys will just come over to Pop’s house where we can record anyway.” She nodded, but she wasn’t completely appeased yet. “Babe, Grady has had some stuff going on with Lex anyway. He isn’t going to stop being my friend because I want to avoid her. Everything will be ok.”
We sat in silence for a moment when Maggie’s stomach took that opportunity to announce its displeasure with her lack of dinner that evening. I laughed, but the smile died on my face when I saw she was still unsure.
“Everything will be ok, huh?” she whispered.
“I’ll make sure of it,” I promised with a kiss.
“If you say so…”
“I say so. Now, let’s get you inside, fed, and to bed. I know you’re hungry and exhausted, and I want to wake up tomorrow in a better place.”
Maggie nodded and laid her head back on my shoulder as I stood from the lounger with her in my arms like a little monkey. I brought her inside the silent house and sat her on a barstool. Sarah, Max, and Becca were in bed and everyone else was gone. After eating sandwiches and giving her an “I’m sorry” penny that I had saved to be an “I love you” penny from earlier in the day, we went to bed and quickly fell asleep against each other. I knew this wasn’t the end of Maggie’s insecurities or of Alexis for that matter, but for now I took comfort in the fact that I had my girl wrapped around me.
Chapter 6
Maggie
The Saturday morning of graduation was bittersweet. It was the day I had to say goodbye to my closest friends, but thankfully I woke up with my legs entwined with Parker’s and one of his arms wrapped tightly around my body, a feeling that thrilled me every morning, especially since the devil ex-slut bag had been out of the picture after the beach. Still, this morning felt different. It was like my friends and I had spent the last few years in paradise together and now we were floating apart. The only bright side was I wasn’t floating alone. I had Parker to keep me company in my life raft. To think I came to college with one friend, a best friend, and now I felt like I had a second family with Max, Sarah, Becca, and Parker.
Sarah was practically being forced to go home right away and help her parents on the farm. Her graduate school plans were delayed because her family needed her. Max and Becca were moving out into their own place, so that left Parker and me alone in the house while we attended law school. While I was more than happy to be starting my life with the man of my dreams by my side, I was still going to miss having everyone here all of the time. Saying goodbye was the downside of making friends I decided.
I curled up in the bed thinking about the end of our college experience while I absorbed the comfort from Parker who still slept soundly. The perfect guy who was quietly snoring beside me was mine. The best part was he didn’t want anyone else; he made that very clear. The first day I met him in Max’s dorm room, I knew he was the hottest guy I had ever seen in person and still is, no doubt. Over the past four years though, he had shown me all the good and the bad inside of him, and I couldn’t help but think the good far outweighed the bad. He was everything a girl could want in one very attractive package.
Once I started focusing on Parker, I felt my anxiety about the upcoming changes wane. It was then I realized how badly I needed to pee. I tried sneaking out from under his arm and off the bed in an effort not to disturb him, but just as my feet hit the carpet, Parker’s arm came around my waist and pulled me back to him so his lips were at my ear.
“I thought the sneaking out of bed in the morning ended a long time ago, pretty girl?” He teased me with his lips against my ear then my neck.
“I just was going to the bathroom.”
“Hmph,” he pulled away and let me get up. “I guess I can let you do that if you must. Hey, why don’t we go for a quick run and go to the café on campus we went to the very first Saturday we spent together?”
“That sounds like a great idea. Should we invite Max?” I asked him as I climbed out of bed.
“That’s up to you, baby. I know you’ve been laying here freaking out for the past hour about him moving out, so if you want him to be there, he should be there.” I knew Parker thought my anxiety over all of these changes was ridiculous even though he hadn’t said as much. Call it separation anxiety or whatever, but it was still really hard for me to imagine not having Max live steps away from me. I sighed and climbed back into the bed and snuggled into his chest drawing a little more comfort from his warmth before I faced the day.
“Hmmm…Maybe we should spend a little more alone time right here before we go,” he suggested.
“Oh? What did you have in mind?” All I was wearing was one of his t-shirts and panties, so I had a good idea what he wanted when his hand snuck under the shirt. “Oh! You have the best ideas Parker Pryce.” I giggled as he tickled my side before his hand moved to my breast. I immediately stopped laughing and reveled in the touch of his expert hand.
“I thought you’d like that. Now, let’s see what we can do to make you feel better…”
Things changed quickly after graduation. I was a mess on the inside, but I tried to keep my crazy under control for everyone else’s sake. I would rather spend a day with my mother than let them think I was becoming the weak little Maggie who everyone felt they needed to take care of again. I just wished that “fake it ‘til you make it” saying actually worked.
Sarah went home to the farm the day after the ceremony. Her parents kept her too busy to even call from the moment she arrived. On top of missing Sarah, Max and Becca moved in together then he proposed to her on the top of Stone Mountain at sunrise one Saturday in June. We had a big celebratory brunch at our house where I tried to show my excitement for their pending nuptials, but all I could think about was how little I saw of Max now that he and Becca were living together.
Sarah was missing from the table. Max was getting married and was no longer just my best friend. Law school would be starting soon. Everything was different, and selfishly I wanted to rewind and start over again.
Fortunately I had summer to adjust to our new lives. Even though things were rapidly evolving, Max and Be
cca were still around often enough. Sometimes Billy or Grady came over for a bit, but that didn’t last. Billy obviously missed Sarah and didn’t feel as connected with us without her. Supposedly they had just been having fun, but I don’t think Billy felt that way because he clearly had strong feelings for her. Grady, on the other hand, apparently hated leaving Alexis alone for too long because of whatever was going on with her. Since there was no way in hell we were spending time with her after what happened at the beach, he wasn’t around as much either.
It was our night to cook the day Parker found Becca and I flipping through bridal magazines. Wedding planning was always on the agenda with Becca, and we had just found the perfect flower arrangement when Parker came into the kitchen. He gave me a kiss on the top of my head then paused when he saw what I was reading. “You aren’t corrupting my girl, are you Becca?”
“Yeah right,” she scoffed in disbelief. “You would’ve dragged her to Vegas already if you weren’t so afraid of her daddy.”
He smiled and looked down at me. “True,” he said before planting the sloppiest kiss on my lips.
“You two are so sweet. I’m glad that you finally figured out that you belong together,” Becca said with a wide smile on her face and her chin resting on her hand.
“Me too,” Parker agreed without taking his eyes off me. “Now,” he paused and rubbed his hands together. “I have some good news.”
“Yeah?” I said.
“Yeah. Grady has been asked to send a demo of his songs for some record company. Some agent guy heard him at the bar and asked if he had anything he could share with a record label. Of course Grady never thinks about the future, so the answer was a big, fat no to that. He wants to record a couple of old songs, a few covers, and finish some of the ones we had started last year. He doesn’t really have the money for studio time, so he asked if we could do it in Pop’s basement.”
“We?” I asked.
“Yeah, he wants my help since it’s technically my equipment, and I helped him write a lot of his songs anyway. It should be interesting working at Pop’s considering that studio was built for my mom. Classical music and Grady’s kind of rock don’t quite mix, but he wants to add in some elements that’ll make him stand out and sound more unique. Either way I think this could be really cool for him.”
I wanted to be happy, but all I could think was that Parker was going to be spending a lot of time with the band, which meant my perfect boyfriend would be spending time with the devil woman. Alexis.
“Wait…you’re going to start hanging out with the band again?” Becca asked mirroring my thoughts.
Parker’s eyes swung back to mine as if he could read our thoughts. “Yeah, but I told Grady that Alexis wasn’t welcome at Pop’s house.”
I gave him a look that said, “Yeah right.” He must have understood because he added, “Grady agreed. He said he’d teach her the new songs once they’re finished. She isn’t interested in writing them anyway.”
I could see the excitement written all over his face, and I was happy that he was going to be playing with Grady. I swear. Parker loved music, and Grady was a good friend of his. However the ever-present selfish side of me kept thinking that my life raft was about to float away without me. Time to be the supportive girlfriend. “Oh. Ok. Then that’s great,” I told him.
Then Becca brought up another good point that didn’t even occur to me. “Is it just for the summer or are you going to try to balance school and the band?”
“Just summer, I think. I don’t know,” he said. “I have no plans to ditch Maggie in law school if that’s what you’re asking.”
I didn’t even want to think about that possibility, so I said what any supportive girlfriend would say. “Of course not. This sounds great for Grady, and he could definitely use your musical genius to make it all happen.”
“Thank you, baby,” Parker said with a wide, model worthy smile before pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. Oh, the many sides of Parker. Swoon!
Parker left the room to call Grady, and Becca gave me the look. You know, the one that says, “And you really think this is a good idea?”
My response? “It’s fine, Becca. I trust Parker, and he loves playing with Grady and the band.”
“Yeah. If all that worried you was Alexis, I might believe you, Maggie.”
“I’m not worried about anything,” I told her without looking up from the magazine in front of me.
“Uh-huh,” she replied before going back to her own magazine.
Damn having close friends was tricky. When they get too close, they can start reading your thoughts. Why didn’t anyone warn me?
Parker
I never had as much free time as I did this summer. It was great for the first week, but then I needed something to do. I started with playing the piano in the rehearsal room at the symphony. It was therapeutic to play the piano like I used to play when Mom was alive, but I was more than happy to agree when Grady called and asked me for help. I needed to have some purpose and working a part-time job while waiting for school to start again wasn’t cutting it.
The guys and I met up the next day and started playing together, and right away we knew we had something. When we finished messing around with some of his music and different instruments, we decided to try to do some recording.
Alexis’s voice would have been a nice addition to some of the songs we tested out, but there was no way I would suggest that. Grady had already been cool with me not wanting her at Pops’ house, but I wasn’t about to point out his music was better with the addition of a female voice. She could do her part in performances, and that would have to be enough for now. Besides, her bartending gig made her schedule difficult to work around since everyone else worked during the day except her.
I shouldn’t have cared. I didn’t want to care, but knowing she was bartending made me worry about her. She was a recovering addict for one thing. She used to mix alcohol and pain pills to feel numb. Serving alcohol in a bar sounded like playing with fire especially when she didn’t have Grady and the band there to watch over her. I had to forget about her though. After how she acted with Maggie, I would never be able to be her friend again.
For the next couple of weeks I spent every free moment either making music or spending time with Maggie. I was ready for law school, but I wanted summer to last. For years music had been the most important thing to me. Soccer was something I was good at, but music was something that consumed me. It felt good to be back in that place again, so good I wasn’t ready to give it up.
I couldn’t explain this to Maggie though. Music wasn’t taking priority over her, but it was taking time away from her. Music was driving me though, and I was along for the ride.
We had barely finished recording our fifth song by the time school was about to start. While we were shutting everything down one night, Grady asked, “Hey man, you gonna rehearse with us once school starts?”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but I want to finish the rest of the songs, especially the song we’ve been working on for Maggie. I can’t let you fuck it up.”
Billy rolled his eyes. “Yeah right. As soon as you start school again, you’ll be spending all your free time with the girl you wrote the song for. If Sarah was here there’d be no way that I would spend all my free time with you assholes.”
“If Sarah were here, you wouldn’t have any free time. You’d be in her bedroom all day, and none of us are dumb enough to try to get you to come out of there,” Grady responded.
“Jealous, Gray?”
“Nah man. I get my kicks. I’m not into settling down like you jackasses. Too much work and even more disappointment.”
“You just haven’t met the right girl then, Grady. In fact I’m going home to my girl while you two go drink your troubles away. I’ll see you next weekend probably. We are out of town this weekend and school starts next week. Maggie’s freaking out and making me have a study day to make sure we both know the required reading backwards and forwards
.”
“Sounds like hell to me, man. Have fun,” Grady said as we waved goodbye. Sounded like hell to me too, but I would have done anything for Maggie, which in this case meant going over the required reading twice even though I had it the first time.
Maggie was really nervous about starting law school. It was keeping her up at night to the point where I woke up only to find her in the kitchen with her textbooks and notes even though she had already done all of the required reading. To distract her we spent the weekend down in Savannah with Max and Becca. Mr. Miller took us out on the boat on Saturday and that night we hung out in the basement playing games and having fun. It was a perfect weekend for Maggie to relax at home. Her mother was out of town visiting her sister, Catherine, who was busy planning her wedding. We couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity to visit her dad than when the dragon lady was out of town.
The distraction seemed to work for Maggie, but I was somewhere else. We were having fun, but I found myself itching to play a new song I was writing in my head. I didn’t care if it was the piano or the guitar; I just needed to play. While the three of them sat around talking, I tapped my knee while mentally playing the song.
“Right Parker?” Maggie said.
“What?” Maggie gave me a questioning look. “Sorry babe, what’d you say?”
“I was telling them that you were finished helping Grady because it would be too much with school.”
“Oh. Yeah.” The truth was the idea of focusing on school was not as appealing as it once was. I loved what I was doing with Grady, but I didn’t tell Maggie that. I wasn’t sure how she would take it. I wasn’t even sure I knew what I wanted anymore, which was why I knew for certain that conversation was not to be had out loud yet.