“Do you just want to drive with me and I will bring you back to your car after the movie?” he asked me.
“Sure, why not.” I was eager to spend as much time as possible with him and welcomed the car ride. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed Braden in my life until he found me again. Life was always easier when he was around. I was determined to keep him in my life as long as he would allow it.
We made the short way over to his apartment complex. Memories started flashing through my mind. Of course he would live in the same complex Oliver had lived in. I tried to hide the tears from Braden but a sob escaped me and he shot around to look at me.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Did I say something to upset you?”
“No you didn’t say anything wrong. It’s stupid really, but Oliver used to live in this apartment complex. The memories just hurt, you know. We were so happy. I don’t know where and why things went wrong. How could he do this to me? He asked me to be his wife. I really thought it was the real thing. I guess I was wrong. I am sorry for putting my sob story on you.”
“Listen, Skye, you can always talk to me about anything. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning or four in the afternoon, if you need me I will be there for you. As for Oliver, he’s a jerk. He will realize sooner or later what he lost when he let you walk away. Trust me, I know from experience. I have no idea why anyone would cheat on you. You’re a genuinely great girl and if I was him I would’ve held on to that tight.”
“Thank you, Braden. I hope the pain will subside eventually. I doubt the pain will ever go away completely but I am trying to move on. I know he doesn’t deserve me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still love and miss him.”
“A part of you will probably always love him, after what you told me you did have good times together. But don’t let the hurt consume you, Skye. You have to open your heart to someone again eventually. It would be a shame if a gorgeous girl like you would end up alone. Come on, sweetie, let’s go inside so I can change. If you don’t want to go out to the movies anymore we can just stay here and binge on some Netflix shows.”
I thought about just ditching the movies and the idea of spending time alone with Braden was tempting. But I also knew I could only fight my attraction for him for so long and I wouldn’t hurt him like that. I knew I was nowhere ready to give Braden what he needed from me and casual sex would just destroy our newly rebuilt friendship.
“No, movie is fine. I am up to anything that will distract me from thoughts of him.”
Braden came around and helped me out of the car. As soon as he closed the door to his apartment his ACU jacket came off. I was surprised I didn’t start drooling at the sight of his broad shoulders and muscular back. Who said a back couldn’t be a turn on? If I hadn’t been attracted to him eight years ago I would definitely be now. I needed to take a deep breath. Friends. Braden and I are friends. That’s all. I had no romantic feelings for Braden. It was only friendship. At least I kept telling myself that.
“Why don’t you sit down while I go change into some other clothes? I will be right back, don’t run away,” he said with a wink and a smile that brought out his dimple. God, that dimple had always driven me insane. Braden James Parker was trouble – that much I was sure of.
We arrived at the movie theater a little later and again Braden refused to let me pay for anything. I was growing frustrated with his need to pay for everything.
“You know I make my own money and I can pay for my own things, right?” I glared at him.
“I know you can, that doesn’t mean you should. I invited you to come with me so it’s my treat. It’s not a big deal, Skye. No need to be upset. I will let you pay for your popcorn if that makes you feel better.”
“It does,” I answered and went to order popcorn and a drink. I had forgotten how stubborn Braden was when it came to these things, and I don’t know why it bothered me so much. Maybe it was because it felt more like a date if he was covering the costs, and I didn’t want him to think this was a date. We were simply two friends hanging out and having a good time together.
Soon we were seated in the dark movie theater, and I felt Braden put his arms around me. I tried not to read too much into it and just enjoy his company. Caige and I hugged all the time, and it meant nothing more than friendship. So why was I burning up with need and why did I find myself wanting to be as close as possible to Braden? I couldn’t deny that I was drawn to him, but I was sure that it was solely physical. I definitely wouldn’t say no to a night between the sheets with him, he had been a good lover back then and I was sure the years had only improved his skills. What the hell was wrong with me? I just broke up with my fiancé and was already thinking about sleeping with another man. My brain was obviously very confused.
I tried hard to concentrate on the movie, and I finally found my mind shutting up and was able to let myself relax. Of course, I was a huge sucker for Vin Diesel and Paul Walker so it had only been a matter of time till they caught my attention. The movie was action packed, and I loved it. Unfortunately, it was over too soon and we were on our way back to the restaurant. As much as I didn’t want the night to end I knew it had to before I would make a stupid decision and ruin Braden’s and my friendship.
“Thank you for keeping me company tonight, Skye. I am glad you agreed to hang out,” he said as he pulled me in for a hug.
I threw my arms around his middle and answered, “Thank you for inviting me. I had a great time and it was just what I needed.”
Braden walked me to my car and opened the door for me, but before I could get in, he bent down and kissed my cheek. I tried to ignore the fluttering feeling in the pit of my stomach caused by his lips on my face. As much as I loved having Braden back, he couldn’t have had worse timing to show back up. I knew he still had feelings for me, and he deserved a girl who wasn’t as damaged as me. He needed someone who still believed in love and could love him with all her heart. I knew I wasn’t that girl. I just hoped that Braden would open his heart when the one who could give him everything I couldn’t would show up. I wanted him to be happy.
I got in my car and drove away, once again leaving my first love behind. I wonder how many times he would let me get away before he completely gave up on me. I had seen in his eyes that he had wanted to say more to me after the movie, but I also knew that my words from earlier stopped him. Braden had always been very considerate and had always put me before him yet it would be just a matter of time before he would have enough. Clearly being my friend is not an easy thing to do. I was broken, and he would soon see that and disappear out of my life again. It was better that I decided to keep him in the friend zone, my heart couldn’t take any more hurt, and I wasn’t going to give Braden the chance to break it again. No guy would ever be allowed back in my heart.
After a quick shower once I got home, I got comfortable in the living room with Faith and Caige. I hadn’t been surprised that they were still up when I got home. They were the queen and king of gossip, and I knew they were hoping to hear some juicy news from me.
“So how was your evening with Parker?” Caige asked and I could feel Faith’s expectant eyes on me.
“We had a good time. We went to The Grill caught up on the last eight years and went to see Fast and Furious 6 afterwards. It was a nice evening and a good distraction. I am happy to have Braden back as a friend. I love you guys but sometimes I need someone who will just listen without any comments. Braden is that person.”
“I still have to get used to you calling him Braden. He has always been Parker to me. So what did you guys talk about?” Caige stated.
“About his time in the army and about his mom. I hate that I wasn’t there for him when she died. I was so selfish back then.”
Faith laughed. “Girl, you don’t have one selfish bone in your body and I know you did what you thought was best for both of you. I am sure he understands that. So any funny business we should know about?”
“Faith! I told you n
othing would happen and I would appreciate it if you would just cut the shit. I am tired of being a damn parrot and repeating myself.”
“Did he tell you about his time in Afghanistan?” Caige interrupted us trying to avoid an argument between us girls.
“Not really, he just told me that it was rough but that he tries not to think about it too much. Why is there something I should know?”
“It’s not my story to tell and I am sure he has his reasons for not telling you. I am sure with time he will. After all you are BFFs now, right?” He shrugged.
I wondered what had happened in Afghanistan. I had heard stories from my dad, however, I was aware that it wasn’t a subject a lot of the soldiers wanted to talk about. I knew bad things happened, and I was sure my dad has only ever told me half the truth. I couldn’t blame him but I was determined to find out what Braden had endured. I wouldn’t let him go through this alone and would be by his side as a friend.
After I went to bed, I thought about what could have possibly happened but I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. For the first time in the week since Oliver and I broke up, I didn’t cry myself to sleep, and I slept peacefully.
Chapter 5
Skye
The next weeks flew by in a blur. I was knee deep in the vodka campaign and crazy busy getting the launch of the product ready. I spent most of my days in the office and even went into the office on the weekends to stay on top of everything. Braden had become a big part of our group and was constantly hanging out at our house. More often than not, I would come home from work and find him plopped on our sofa with Faith and Caige. I knew Caige was happy to finally have a guy as backup instead of having to put up with Faith and me by himself. I still had to fight my attraction to Braden and I was slowly moving on from my breakup with Oliver.
One Thursday night I came home from a frustrating day from work and found my friends on our back porch. It had been a beautiful day, and I wasn’t at all surprised to see that Braden had decided to fire up the grill. As soon as they saw me approaching they instantly got quiet. They must’ve been talking about me. I didn’t care – I was just happy that I didn’t have to cook and decided to open a bottle of wine.
We all sat in silence while we were eating the steaks Braden had grilled and after I finished I looked at my friends.
“So is anyone going to tell me what’s going on and why nobody has said a word since the minute I set foot on this porch?”
Faith, Braden and Caige looked at each other silently communicating who would break whatever news to me. Finally, Caige spoke up.
“Babygirl, we have been thinking. You know how we have the additional guestroom?”
I didn’t like where this was going. “Yes?” I asked skeptically.
“Well, Braden has been looking for a new place to stay. He doesn’t really like the apartment he lives in but he doesn’t want to stay in the barracks either. Since he is here all the time anyways we thought he could just move in with us. It would help with the bills and he could stop looking for a new place.”
Braden and I living under the same roof? That just had bad idea written all over it. It was one thing that he spent almost all his free time at our house but living with us was a whole different thing completely. I had been pretty good in controlling my lust for him but I wasn’t sure how long my self-control would last if I would was forced to live with him. On the other hand, he had been pretty good at accepting that I only wanted to stay friends and hadn’t made anymore hints that he wanted more from me. Maybe he had finally moved on and we would be okay. After a long few minutes of silence I finally answered.
“Sure he can move in. We will figure the details of rent out later. How soon are you going to move in?”
Another awkward moment of silence until Braden decided to answer my question.
“Well technically I already moved in. I know we should’ve asked you first but Caige was one hundred percent sure you would say yes anyways. So we moved all my stuff over earlier today. I hope you’re not mad at us.”
I just shook my head – leave it to my two best friends to make major decisions without consulting me first. Then again, I couldn’t really blame them. I hadn’t exactly been around much lately.
I raised my glass and smiled. “Welcome to the gang, Braden James Parker. I hope you’re ready for this because there is no turning back. You will soon realize that living with Caige is worse than living with any girl.”
Everybody busted out laughing and we enjoyed a nice evening full of laughter, stories and a little too much wine. I decided not to go into work the next day and just enjoyed the company of my friends. Work could wait for a day.
Later that night as I was getting ready for bed, I heard a soft knock on my door.
“Come in.” I didn’t turn around to see who came in but I instantly knew it was Braden. I was always able to tell when he was in the room without having to look. It was like there was some invisible energy between us as soon as he was around. Of course, I denied myself any thought that I could possibly be feeling more for him than I let myself believe. We weren’t meant to be together. A person couldn’t still be hung up on her ex and fall for someone else. Even if I would’ve have been able to open up my heart again, I was too busy with work to even think about a relationship.
“Are you sure you are okay with me living here, Skye?” Braden asked while sitting down on my bed.
I turned around to face him. “Of course I am. I wouldn’t have said yes if it wasn’t okay. Really, it’s not like it’s a big difference, you basically lived here before you moved in today anyways. Hell, I think you have spent more time here in the last few weeks than I have. But why didn’t you like your apartment? I know that complex and I know that the apartments are amazing.”
“Well... I have started looking for a new place ever since you told me Oliver used to live there. That’s why I haven’t asked you to hang out at my place anymore. I didn’t want to confront you with memories of the times with him. You know with the base here it’s hard to find a decent place that isn’t a complete shit hole. When Caige found out I was looking for a new apartment he offered me to move in here. First I said no because I didn’t want to overwhelm you, but Caige told me that was bullshit and that you would be fine with me moving in. He basically said the same thing about me living here already anyways.”
“Braden, you didn’t have to start looking for a new place because of me. I would’ve been fine hanging out at your place.”
Braden got up and walked over to me. He pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear and looked at me.
“Sweetheart, you didn’t see the look on your face when I brought you to my place for the first time. There was so much hurt in those beautiful blue eyes of yours. I would do anything never to see that look again. You looked so helpless and broken. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you smile, and I will beat up anyone who tries to hurt you. The first few weeks after we met again you were constantly sad. Just in the last two weeks I can see the old Skye shining through again. The girl who can take on anything and anyone, the girl who always gets back up no matter what life throws at her. I am making it my life’s mission to keep that Skye around because we have all missed her.”
I was speechless. I hadn’t been aware of how apparent my feelings must’ve been. He was right. I had been sad a lot but in the last couple of weeks, I had barely thought about Oliver and finally felt like I could breathe again. I was still hurt by his actions but I knew my life would go on. I looked up into Braden’s eyes and saw him staring at my lips. This was it. He was about to kiss me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop him. He slowly lowered his head to mine and brushed his lips over mine softly. I opened my mouth to give him permission to kiss me. Our tongues entwined, and he kissed me with force yet very carefully as if I could disappear any minute. I felt the heat building in my body, and I wanted more. I wanted to feel Braden but once I would let that happen, I knew everything would change. Coming to
my senses, I pushed Braden back.
“I am sorry, Braden. I can’t. I don’t feel what you feel and I don’t want to hurt you. I won’t lie. I do want you. But not the way you need me to.”
“Baby, you can lie to yourself all you want. I know you too feel this connection we have. Don’t deny yourself these feelings. In the eight years we were apart I never once stopped thinking about you. Thoughts of you were what kept me going through my deployment. I hoped I would be able to find you once I got back. It took longer than I had wanted and I really didn’t know I would run into you here. I had always known you were the one, even when I was engaged to Chelsea. That’s why I wasn’t mad when she cheated. She gave me the perfect excuse to walk away. I think she always knew there was someone else.”
“Please stop. I am not the girl I used to be. I am broken and I don’t believe in love anymore. You deserve someone who can love you with all her heart. It isn’t me, Braden. What I feel for you is lust. Nothing more.”
“If you say so. Skye, I will always wait for you. You’re it for me and I am not going anywhere until you realize we belong together. Fate has brought me back here to you at a time you needed a friend and as much as you want to hide your feelings, I know you feel what I do. So I will be there when you’re ready. Until then, I will continue to be your friend. As I said before if that’s what it takes to stay in your life then that’s what I will do. Goodnight, sweetheart.”
With a kiss on my cheek he left my room and I was left behind dumbfounded. I thought he had finally moved on. I would’ve never allowed him to move in if I would’ve known he still had feelings for me. Why couldn’t he have come back in my life before I met Oliver? I was sure that Braden could make me happy but what if he would eventually think that I wasn’t good enough for him and leave me? I couldn’t let that happen. Breaking up with Braden broke my heart and being cheated on by Oliver shattered it. Braden now had the power to completely destroy it and there would be no coming back from that. I couldn’t allow myself to have a relationship with him again. I wouldn’t be able to handle the consequences if he decided to leave. I would just have to get over this attraction to him. I needed to get out of here and get a clear head. This was getting to be too much for me – the break up with Oliver and then Braden’s presence all the time. I needed a break. I knew exactly what I was going to do to get that break.
Rediscovering Peace (Military Love Book 1) Page 7