Rediscovering Peace (Military Love Book 1)

by Rogers, Steffy

  “Braden, it is not your fault. You did what you thought was right. You can’t blame yourself. It will destroy you.”

  “It is my fault. I should’ve died. They should be sitting at home with their families, laughing and enjoying life.”

  “Do you think that they would want you to stop living? I don’t think so. They would want you to honor them by living on.”

  “Do you think Oliver would want the same for you?”

  “I know for a fact that he would.” She got up and left the room. She was holding a piece of paper and handed it to me. It was the email Caige told me about. I read it and wondered why Skye was still trying to push me away when Oliver was begging her to live on.

  “I don’t understand, Skye. Why are you pushing me away? That’s not what he wants for you.”

  “I know. But I still feel like I am betraying his memory. It’s not fair to be with you when I am not one hundred percent in the game. You don’t deserve a girlfriend that doesn’t know where up and down is most days.”

  “Skye, I have told you before, I will take you any way I can get you. When will you get that through your thick skull?”

  “Just give me some time, okay? I promise I will come back around. I always do.”

  “I promised I would always wait for you, sweetheart. But I don’t know how many more times I can let you push me away. I love you but you need to make up your mind if you want to be with me or not. This back and forth is killing me. I waited eight years to have you back in my arms. Yet you still keep running from me. I don’t know what to do anymore to make you stay. I am sorry, Skye. Until you know for sure what you want from me, it’s better if we don’t see each other anymore. I will come to get the rest of my stuff tomorrow.”

  “Please, Braden don’t do this. I want to be with you.”

  “Then be with me. It’s not that hard.”

  “I need time.” She was crying. I hated that I made her feel this way, but she needed to realize that she couldn’t run from me when things got rough.

  I got up and walked away from the one girl that would always have my heart.

  The next few weeks I went through the motions. I didn’t hear from Skye and didn’t contact her. I stayed in touch with Caige to find out how she was doing. If he was right, she was just as miserable as I was. I wouldn’t make the first step again though – it was on her now. If she wanted to be with me she needed to come to me.

  “You ready?” Seth was yelling through the apartment. Krystal was out of town so he wanted to use the opportunity to go out and party. We decided to go to Cowboys, and I secretly hoped that Skye was going to be there. I longed to see her.

  “I am ready to go.”

  We called a cab so we could both drink. Lord knows I needed it. We got to the club and it was already packed. We finally fought our way through the masses to the bar. This was going to be a long night.

  I noticed a tall blonde looking me up and down and biting her lip. Oh hell. Just what I needed. I ordered drinks for us when I felt someone come up behind me. I turned around to see the blonde standing there.

  “Hey there, handsome. Care to buy me a drink?” She looked at me through her long lashes and licked her lips. She was one of those girls that I could easily take home with me. Too bad I wasn’t interested. Back in the day I would’ve never passed up this chance.

  “Sorry, sweetheart, but I am not interested.”

  “I am sure I can change your mind.” She winked at me. Yup, this was going to be a long night.

  “Fine. I will buy you a drink. What’s your name anyways?” I hoped that she would leave me alone after I bought her a drink.

  “My name is Caitlin. And who are you?”

  “Braden.” I didn’t want to get involved in a conversation with her. I handed her a drink and tried to get Seth’s attention. But his focus was on someone across the club. I turned to look what he was staring at. Oh hell. He was staring at Faith. I looked around to see Caige and Skye not far from Faith. They were on the dance floor and oblivious to the fact that I was there. I looked to my right and saw that Caitlin was still talking away. I hadn’t heard a word she just said.

  “And then he promised me to make me famous. He said I’d be the perfect model. Come to find out that it was just a scam and that he wanted to get in my pants. I need to stop falling for people like that.”

  I didn’t even care to know what the hell she was talking about. I needed to get rid of her. I finally managed to get Seth’s attention.

  “Hey, Seth. Some friends of mine are over there. Let’s join them.” I waved into the direction where Skye was. We fought the masses again and when I turned I saw Caitlin following us. Damn that girl was persistent. Caige turned around and saw us approaching. His eyes narrowed on us when he saw the blonde following us. Why did I have to agree to buy her a drink?

  “Hey, Caige. What’s up? This is my buddy Seth. This is... umm... what’s your name again?” I hoped she would get the hint.

  “Caitlin.” She stretched out her hand and shook Caige’s hand. That’s when Skye and Faith finally turned around. Skye’s eyes grew wide when she saw me. The look on her face went from shock to hurt when she saw that Caitlin was hanging on my arm. What the hell? This girl needed to get the hint. I peeled her off my arm and glared at her. I didn’t need her ruining things more for me.

  “Care to introduce me to your friends, babe?” Caitlin asked a shit eating grin on her face. Fuck. I was in trouble.

  “I’m Faith. And this is Skye. Braden’s girlfriend. Why don’t you take your skank ass and find yourself someone who is not taken?”

  Caitlin was glaring at me. “You have a girlfriend?”

  “Yes I do. You haven’t really given me a chance to tell you. I would appreciate if you would leave us alone now. I bought you a drink to be nice. But that’s it.”

  She stalked off and I hoped that would be the last we would see of her. I turned to Skye to apologize but she stopped me in my tracks.

  “Don’t even try to explain yourself. I asked for time and find you here with some skank on your arm? You’re such an ass.” She turned to walk away from me. Hell no. We would talk this out once and for all. I was tired of this shit.

  I grabbed her by her arms and turned her to face me.

  “Stop running from me. I have given you more than enough time. You need to make a decision now.”

  “Let me go, Braden.”

  “I am not letting you go until we sort this out. I love you, Skye. I don’t even know that girl. I met her literally ten minutes ago. I told her I wasn’t interested, but she didn’t get the hint. Luckily Faith was here to save the day.”

  I felt her soften in my arms. She knew I would never hurt her like this.

  “Caige told me you would be here tonight. I came to apologize to you. Braden, I love you and I should’ve never let you walk away from me. I need you. Can we please start over? I don’t want to be without you anymore.”

  “Are you done running? The next time you run I will be gone, Skye. I can’t do it anymore.”

  “I promise I am done running. I never meant to hurt you. I am sorry I was selfish.”

  I lowered my head to hers and kissed her to shut her up. All I needed to know was that she was done pushing me away. She moaned at the feel of my lips. I had to control myself not to drag her to the bathroom and fuck her there.

  “Let’s get back to the others, baby. I love you.”

  “I never stopped loving you, Braden James Parker.”

  We found our friends in a booth and Seth and Faith were deep in conversation. Seth looked at Faith as if he had never seen anyone like her before. Interesting. I could tell that Faith was just as attracted to him. Caige was looking around the club obviously tired of being the third wheel.

  “Finally. These two are annoying the hell out of me. You know that they have been ignoring me for twenty minutes?” Caige pouted. He could be such a girl sometimes.

  Faith looked up from her conversation with Set
h and a smile broke out on her face.

  “Did you guys finally make up?”

  I pulled Skye to me and kissed her on top of her head.

  “It’s about time. I was tired of seeing you guys walk around like two lovesick puppies. I swear the next time I will beat both of you,” Faith declared. I couldn’t help but laugh. The girl sure was something. The way Seth was looking at her he thought the same. Maybe Faith is what he finally needed to leave that bitch wife of his.

  When they announced last call I was looking around to find all my friends. Skye and I had been dancing all night. There were only a few people left so it wasn’t hard to find Caige. He was taking a shot out of some blonde’s cleavage. When I looked closer I saw that it was Caitlin. Great. We walked over to him and I asked him where Faith and Seth were.

  “They took off about an hour ago. Looks like our girl is getting some tonight.” Shit. This wasn’t good. As much as I wanted him to leave Krystal, it still didn’t make cheating right. I would have to talk to him.

  “Are you about ready to go? We can split a cab.” I was ready to get out of here.

  “You guys go ahead. I don’t think I will be home tonight.” He winked at Caitlin and she started giggling.

  “Okay. See you tomorrow.” I took Skye’s hand leading her outside to the cabs. We finally made it to her place. I couldn’t wait to take a shower and get into bed.

  “Braden. I want you to move back in. I hate waking up in the mornings and you are not there.”

  “I will get my stuff from Seth and Krystal’s tomorrow. No way am I staying away from you any longer.”

  “Wait. Who’s Krystal? Oh my God. Please don’t tell me Seth is married?”

  This wasn’t good.

  “He is. But they haven’t been happy in a long time. I don’t even know why they are still together. They hate each other’s guts.”

  “Shit. I hope Faith doesn’t sleep with him. This will destroy her. I saw the way she looked at him – she’s in deep.”

  “So is he. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her all night. Please, Skye. Don’t worry about it tonight. They’re old enough to know what they’re doing.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I’m going to take a shower and then I will spend the rest of the night making love to you. I have missed you.”

  “I missed you more,” she said as she kissed my lips.

  While I was in the shower all I could think about was burying myself in her. It’s been too long. I hurried up and got out of the shower.

  I walked into the bedroom to find Skye curled up in a ball fast asleep. I laughed. My girl was tired. Oh well, I could wait till the morning.

  I crawled in bed with her and wrapped myself around her. Everything was right in the world again.

  Skye and I would be alright. I would make sure of it.

  Chapter 9

  Faith

  When I laid eyes on Seth in the bar my world stopped spinning. I instantly felt a connection to him. Never in my life had I been so attracted to a man, but then again, I didn’t date. I had been hurt too many times to let myself even think about the possibility to have a serious relationship. My past had ruined me. Only Skye and Caige knew what had happened to me and I made it my every day goal to keep the past where it belongs – in the past.

  “Do you want a glass of wine, Faith?” Seth pulled me out of my thoughts and smiled that panty dropping smile at me. I was so screwed. I was sitting here with a married man. What the hell was I doing?

  “Sure why not,” I answered.

  “So, Faith, there is something I have to tell you.” Seth started as he handed me a glass of red wine. I glanced at his hand and felt a pang of jealousy when I saw the ring on his finger. At least he didn’t make it a secret, right?

  “Is this where you tell me that you are happily married but you can’t stop thinking about me? Been there, done that. Wasn’t all that great,” I snapped. I didn’t know why I was being such a bitch but this hurt.

  “No, Faith, that’s not what I am saying.”

  “So you’re not married?”

  “I am married. But Krystal and I haven’t been happy in a long time.”

  “Why are you still together then?”

  “It’s a long story. We went through a lot and I am scared that if I leave she will do something to harm herself. She isn’t very stable.”

  I had heard that story before too. I can’t leave my wife – she is mentally ill, blah, blah, blah. Why do men have to suck so badly? But for some reason I knew Seth wasn’t lying. I couldn’t explain what it was but we connected on a deeper level.

  “Look, Seth. I am not going to hook up with you. Honestly, I don’t even know what I am doing here. I saw your ring right when you came up in the bar.”

  “I am not asking you to hook up with me, Faith. There’s just something about you. I can’t describe it. It’s like I NEED to get to know you better.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I knew there was something between us, but he was married. I had promised myself never to get into a relationship with a married guy. It always ended in heartbreak. Why was I so damn drawn to this guy? He was handsome. He had blue eyes and short brown hair, and by the build of his body I could tell he worked out a lot. He was wearing a pair of washed out Wranglers and a blue dress shirt with sleeves rolled up. It clung to his tattooed muscular arms and my imagination was running wild with how he would look underneath his shirt. It wasn’t only his looks that I was attracted to. I could feel the air charging with electricity between us and I didn’t know how much longer I would be able to resist him. I needed to get out of here before I did something stupid.

  “Seth, I have to go. It’s better that way. You’re married and I am not going to put myself in that position.”

  “I understand. But... Can I call you sometime? We could hang out. As friends of course. I wouldn’t want to put you in that position. There’s a lot going on in my life and the last thing I want to do is burden you.”

  There it was again – that look. That defeated look that told me just how much he was hurting on the inside. I fought the urge to wrap my arms around him and turned to leave. Before I closed the door behind me I looked back.

  “You can call me anytime. I can do friends.”

  His beautiful blue eyes lit up and I knew then, that I was in deep trouble.

  I called a cab and while I waited for it to get to Seth’s apartment, I called Jordan. Jordan was my current fuck buddy. That’s exactly what I needed right now, someone to screw the pictures of Seth out of my brain. Lucky for me Jordan was still up and after I told the cab driver where to go I relaxed in the seat, trying my best not to think about the guy who vowed to spend the rest of his life with another woman.

  When I got to Jordan’s house I let myself in with the spare key he had given me. I found him on the couch watching some action movie I didn’t know the name of. I stripped out of my clothes and walked over to him. He looked up from his movie. He had obviously not heard me come in.

  “You in a hurry, babe?” He smirked at me.

  “You could say that. I need you to fuck me hard, Jordan baby.”

  Jordan and I had a no strings attached relationship and it was great. I didn’t do relationships but a girl still has needs. He was the perfect guy to fulfill those needs. If I wasn’t so screwed up from my past I could see myself being with Jordan. He was sweet and caring, and amazing in bed. But that wouldn’t happen. Dating and I don’t go in the same sentence.

  Jordan and I fucked all night but even then I couldn’t shake the images of a tall, brown haired guy with the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. Fuck. I needed to forget about him.

  The next couple of days went by slowly. Work was slow since I had worked plenty of overtime to get caught up on all the current projects. I worked for a well-known publishing firm and I loved my job. I had always dreamed of making other people’s dreams come true by helping them get out there. I worked with some pretty amazing artists. From
authors to musicians even producers. My job was fast paced and I enjoyed it. So these slow days weren’t for me. Especially when thoughts of Seth invaded my mind. I hadn’t stopped thinking about him since I walked out the other night. I was lost in thought when my phone signaled an incoming text.

  Seth: Hey. Are you up for dinner tonight?

  I didn’t know what to answer. One part of me longed to see him, but the other part told me to stay away as far as possible. Who was I trying to kid? I knew I would say yes.

  Me: Sure. Why not? I get off at 6pm. Pick me up at 7:30pm?

  Seth: Awesome! See you then :)

  I wondered what he told his wife where he was going. The thought of his wife made me cringe. I would never admit it but I was jealous. I barely knew the guy and yet the thought of him being with another woman made my blood boil. Why hadn’t we met earlier? Then again, it wouldn’t have made a difference. I didn’t date and I never would.

  Six p.m. came early and I was on my way home. I wondered where he was taking me for dinner, so I could figure out what to wear. Whatever. It wasn’t a date. Why would he care what I looked like? We were friends not lovers. No need to go all out.

  I got home and took a quick shower. When I got out Skye was sitting on my bed reading something on her Kindle. I swear that girl was always reading when she wasn’t getting her brains fucked out by Braden. I smiled at her. I was so glad that they finally found their way back to each other. Skye deserved the best and Braden made her happy.

  “Hey. Did Braden lock you out of your room or why are you hiding in mine?” I grinned at her.

  “Ha-ha. No he didn’t. I heard you come in and realized we haven’t really talked since the weekend. I feel like I never get to see you anymore.”

  “’I’m sorry. I’ve been busy at work. But it’s slowing down now so I should be around more. I do have to get ready though. I’m meeting Seth for dinner.”

  She looked at me surprised. I could tell she wanted to say something but knowing her she didn’t want to hurt me.

  “Take that look off your face. I know he’s married. We are just hanging out as friends. You have nothing to be worried about.”