Imagined Love

  When Jade pulled up and saw him at her door she wanted to drive off and leave him standing there. Curiosity got the better of her, though. For whatever reason she had to know why he disappeared out of her life without a word.

  “I’m so sorry, Jade,” Reese had said when she stood there staring at him refusing to even say hello. “I know that sounds really pathetic considering how long it’s been. All I can say is that I was really messed up. Martin was killed the night you and I were supposed to meet and I fell apart.”

  Jade’s facial expression softened and her eyes filled with tears. If there was one thing she knew about Reese it was how much he adored his brother. Her heart broke when she saw tears rolling down his face and she invited him in for coffee. Reese told her about the drunk driver who ran a red light and plowed into Martin’s car, killing him instantly. Jade felt guilty for the horrible things she’d thought and said about Reese. If she had really cared maybe she would have gone to find out what was going on with him.

  Reese went on to explain that he didn’t stay away from Jade to hurt her but to protect her from the angry, hateful man his grief had turned him in to. He began drinking excessively which only made the situation worse and he hurt his family tremendously. Eventually they convinced Reese to join them in grief counseling and he slowly started putting his life back together.

  “I’m so sorry, Reese,” Jade had said, as she touched his hand.

  “I am too. After I finally started getting better I realized I was mourning you too. I really did love you, Jade. I still do. And I know I can’t just pop up and expect to pick up where we left off. But I was hoping you had room for me somewhere in your life . . . in your heart. I pray you can forgive me.”

  “I do forgive you, Reese. But as far as a relationship goes, I’m involved with someone else. I’m sorry to say it but you and I just weren’t meant to be.”

  At that point Pierce showed up and dashed any hope Reese had of him and Jade being together. Even though they were fighting it was quite clear the two of

  them were deeply in love with each other. Jade was heartbroken when Pierce left and Reese knew any chance he’d had with her was lost. So he hugged her goodbye knowing there was no reason to ever return. At least that’s what he thought. He had no idea the turmoil Jade was in over the decision she needed to make.

  It was a little after six on Sunday morning when Jade drove over to Pierce’s place. She hadn’t been able to sleep much throughout the night and knew she needed to face him.

  “Hey,” Pierce smiled when he opened the door. It was obvious he hadn’t slept much either.

  “Hey. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute. You don’t have company, do you?”

  “Girl, please. Come in,” he said, allowing her inside. “She already left.” Jade whipped around to look at him and saw Pierce laughing. “I’m just kidding. Have a seat, babe.”

  “Umm, actually I’ll stand. I just need to say this and then I’ll leave. I was gonna call but I owe it to you to say it face to face,” Jade said, as she fidgeted and looked to the floor.

  “Oh,” Pierce uttered. He crossed his arms across his chest and stood in front of her. “Okay . . . but wait, can I tell you something first?”

  “Uh, yeah,” she frowned.

  “I cried in my pillow last night. And it wasn’t a few tears streaming down my face either. It was that ugly, shoulder jerking cry with sounds and everything.”

  Jade looked down for a minute then stared up at him with tears rolling down her face. Pierce’s eyes watered and she could see his nostrils flaring as if he was about to start crying too.

  “I appreciate you telling me that, but unfortunately it doesn’t change what I need to say to you.” Pierce dropped his head and let out a long sigh. “I love you so much, dude, and I wanna be with you forever. I can’t imagine my life without you and Dane and . . .”

  “Girl, come here!” Pierce shouted, as he snatched Jade into his arms and held her tight. “Why you do me like that? I almost started that ugly crying again thinking you were about to break my heart.”

  “You started it, jerk, talking about she already left!”

  “Ooh, you got me with that one. You had tears and everything.”

  “That’s because I was laughing. What you said about crying in your pillow was funny!” Jade laughed loudly.

  “Kiss me,” Pierce whispered, inches away from her lips.

  “Kiss me,” she countered.

  “You’re something else, you know that? I love you, though. I love you with all my heart and soul and I’ll never let you go again,” he whispered before pulling her in for a soft, sensual, incredible kiss.

  If it weren’t for the embarrassment of her stomach growling loudly, Jade might have ended up in Pierce’s bed! He offered to make breakfast and after getting their fill of pancakes, bacon, and eggs, they made their way back to the living room. Pierce grabbed Jade and held her close to him and they stayed that way for a while holding tightly to each other. Eventually they made their way to the couch where they both apologized.

  Jade laughed when Pierce told her about all the names his sisters had called him and how mad he was that they were on her side and not his. He also shared his conversation with Miguel and how stupid he felt for how he’d behaved.

  “What I was not expecting was to find Sasquatch sipping coffee at your kitchen table! I was trying to act tough like I wasn’t intimidated by his big ass but I never lost sight of the fact that he could’ve killed me if he felt like it.”

  “Oh, stop it he wasn’t that much bigger than you. I think you could’ve taken him, Bruce Leroy,” Jade laughed. “But on a serious note, did you really think I would go to bed with Reese even though I never did before?” she asked with a pained expression on her face. “That big bed comment really hurt me, Pierce. It makes me wonder if you do think I’m a whore.”

  “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. I never should’ve let that ridiculous mess come out of my mouth. I was emotional and scared but I promise I’ve never thought you were a whore, Jade . . . not ever. I love and respect you too much.”

  They talked about Landon and some of the things that had come out during their argument to clear the air between them. Most important to Pierce was making sure they communicated their feelings to one another. Both of them had been holding on to things which should have been discussed and resolved a long time ago. So he made a pact with Jade to always be upfront and honest no matter how petty the issue might seem.

  “There’s one more deal I wanna make with you,” Pierce said, as he kissed her hand. “We’re obviously gonna fight sometimes, but can you promise not to walk out on me? We can go to our separate corners until things cool down but don’t leave me, okay? Maybe I’ve got separation anxiety or something but I need to know you’re still here even if we’re mad. I need to know we’re still a couple even if we are pissed off at each other. Can you do that for me?”

  Jade agreed and they shook on it, followed by a kiss. That kiss led to another, more passionate one and they were well on their way to making up.

  “I have a confession to make,” Pierce whispered, as they lay on the couch. “When you were cussing at me in the storage room, it turned me on.”

  “Umm huh, see that’s the Puerto Rican side of you that’s all about the drama,” Jade teased. “You know that didn’t turn you on,” she laughed.

  “I’m serious. When you were like, don’t you stand your ass there . . . umm,” he moaned. “You looked so damn sexy. I wanted to rip your clothes off and do you right there. I still do.” Pierce kissed her again and ran his hands under her shirt.

  Jade couldn’t take it anymore! She wanted to make love to Pierce so bad she could barely think! He smelled so good and his body felt amazing. Jade was about to tell Pierce how badly she wanted him when Luisa’s panicked voice blared from the answering machine!

  Dane had fallen and hit his eye on the corner of a chair while rough housing with his cousins. Luisa was terrified a
t first because there was so much blood, but it ended up being a really small cut. His eye was still a bit swollen but other than that Dane was okay. “Love you, Mommy, bye,” he said, rushing off the phone with Jade to get back to playing. Pierce talked to his mom for a few minutes before hanging up and returning his attention to Jade.

  “He’s fine,” Pierce said, noticing the worried look on her face. “You might as well get used to it because there will be many more days like this. He’s a boy. I can’t remember all the injuries I had growing up. I was always jumping, climbing, or flying off something. And Dane is no different so get prepared, Mommy. Maybe we’ll be the first ones to finally bring a little girl into the family and she can be dainty and sweet in her frilly dresses and shiny shoes,” Pierce smiled. “I dream of the day my baby girl looks up at me with your eyes. And I can’t wait to torture the little knuckleheads who come around trying to date her!”

  They talked for a while on the subject of children and how much they wanted to have them together. Pierce didn’t want to wait more than two years to start so the age gap wouldn’t be too big between Dane and the new baby and then the next baby. Jade wasn’t quite sure about the “next baby” thing, but she wanted Dane to grow up with a sibling. And she had always wanted to have kids before turning thirty so it seemed as though she and Pierce were on the same page as far as their little family was concerned. They also agreed Jade would stay home with the baby since neither of them wanted to use daycare.

  At one point during their hours of conversation Pierce noticed that Jade seemed to be in her own little world. He asked what she was thinking about and was concerned by her reluctance to tell him. When she said it was probably best she didn’t, he prodded her even more.

  “Well, I was thinking it might be best if I go home now. We’re in that danger zone and I don’t know if I can handle it. I was so damn turned on during our little make up session that I was ready to get to it . . . I wanna go to the moon,

  dammit! And I was just about to ask you to take me there when your mom called and I took it as a sign that it’s still not time yet.”

  “Damn it, Mama! She’s still jacking stuff up for me!” Pierce shouted. “So you’re saying if she hadn’t called at that precise moment you would be in my bed right now showing me your freaky side?”

  “My what?” Jade shrieked.

  “Oh don’t try to play coy with me. I know there’s a freak in you and I can’t wait to meet her. I’m definitely one so I say we go to my room and introduce them to each other!”

  The disgusted look on Jade’s face was enough for Pierce to know his invitation had been declined. She had her own definition of a freak and wasn’t the least bit interested in becoming one or being introduced to his! Pierce was shocked and a little offended when Jade told him her understanding of the word.

  “Why would you think I’d wanna hurt you?” he frowned. “When I say freak, all I mean is that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to please you. But I wouldn’t imagine that involved anything painful like getting beat or choked out! That kind of stuff ain’t freaky, it’s bizarre. And I’m not bizarre, alright? I don’t have any chains or whips or anything remotely close to that. Nor do I have any strange fetishes. You’re not gonna catch me walking around in your panties or making love to your shoes!” Jade burst out laughing which was a relief to Pierce. He knew she was at ease again. “I’m serious, girl. I’m not into anything crazy so you don’t have to worry. You can trust me. But can I trust you?”

  “What?” Jade giggled.

  “Hey, you could be pulling my leg sitting here acting all shy and prudish. Then the next thing I know you’re leaving me beaten and tied up in the closet!” he laughed. “So now that we’ve gotten this whole freak misunderstanding cleared up, can we . . .?”

  “I can’t, Pierce. I know it probably sounds silly to you but there’s a reason we’re always getting interrupted. Maybe we . . .”

  “Umm, excuse me, Ms. Caldwell, but could you stop jumping to conclusions? What I was trying to ask is if we could talk candidly on the subject. I think it would help me understand what makes you tick if I stop acting childish and be willing to listen to the details of your experiences,” he said. “But I don’t think my mom calling was any type of sign. You’re the one who always stop us.”

  “That is not true! During the counter top incident we both stopped. But the next time Dane woke up and nearly caught us on the couch. Then there’s the time we were on my living room floor, damn near naked, and Tamara called asking if I could watch the kids because Jamel had been in a car accident. And then . . .”

  “Okay, okay little court reporter. You always gotta prove me wrong, don’t you?” Pierce laughed. “But you’re right. There does always seem to be something stopping us. But anyway . . .”

  Pierce asked a bunch of personal, very specific questions and was surprised by what little experience Jade actually had. It came as no surprise she was most active with Richard but it was shocking how unadventurous she’d been with him. Jade explained that her lack of sexual experimentation had more to do with trust, or distrust to be more accurate. Most things she wouldn’t do because she didn’t fully trust her partner. She acknowledged how ridiculous it sounded to go to bed with someone in whom she had no confidence, but there were still parts of her they couldn’t have. If there were such a thing as an “inner hoe” Jade was reserving it for her husband. He was the only man she’d trust enough to be completely uninhibited.

  “I love the sound of that,” Pierce smiled at her.

  The fact that she hadn’t slept the night before began to take its toll and Jade told Pierce she was sleepy and needed to go home. He offered his bed or the couch if she preferred. Jade shook her head no and got up to leave. Pierce pled with her to stay and promised to be a gentleman. Again she said no.

  “So what, you don’t trust me?” The issue of trust was definitely a sore spot coming off their argument the night before.

  “It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s me. I just feel really emotional right now and I’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind and, I don’t know. I’m a mess.”

  “What’s on your mind, babe?” Pierce asked, as he grabbed Jade’s hands. “Please, just talk to me. I don’t want you to leave, Jade. I need to be around you right now. So please, just tell me what’s on your mind.”

  Jade let out a deep breath. “You remember when I first told you why I wanted to wait to have sex?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I had a lot of issues from the past and kind of an unhealthy view on sex and all that. Well, I thought that was the only issue but it’s not. I’m just . . . I,” Jade stuttered, trying to get her thoughts together. Pierce caressed her hands and told her to relax and take her time. “I love you, Pierce. I really do. I’ve never felt for anybody what I feel for you. But I’m so scared of being . . .” Jade swallowed hard. “I just don’t wanna be a mistake you look back on and regret like . . . you know.”

  “Like Tina?” he frowned, dumbfounded she could even think such a thing. “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah, I mean I know it’s not exactly the same, but . . .”

  “It’s not at all the same! Not even close! How could you let something like that cross your mind, Jade? What happened with Tina was a drunken mistake that got me a wonderful little boy. Everything with you is deliberate and heartfelt and amazing. I’m in love with you, Jade, and I could never regret being with you, you

  hear me?” Pierce asked before planting a soft kiss on her lips. “Now do you want the bed or the couch?”

  And with that they were right back at square one. Jade couldn’t seem to make him understand she needed to go home. There was no way in the world she could continue to be so close to Pierce and not give in to the strong sexual desires she was having for him.

  “I can’t stay, babe. I know you’re frustrated with me but please try to understand. I don’t wanna keep making the same mistakes either. When I make love again I really do want it to be with my hu
sband and . . . oh god, see now I’ve freaked you out! That’s why I need to go, Pierce, because I’m all emotional and now I’m making you . . .”

  “No, I’m not freaked out.”

  “Yeah, right, tell that to the terrified look on your face.”

  “It’s not that at all, babe. It’s just . . . have you ever had a thought or an idea about something but you didn’t mention it to a person. And then when they brought it up and you said, yeah I was thinking that too, they never believe you because it was after the fact. There’s no way you can ever prove you’d thought about it before they mentioned it.”

  “Ooookay,” Jade hummed, not having a clue what Pierce was talking about.

  “If I let you walk out of here right now I fear that very thing will happen.”

  “Babe, what are you talking about?”

  “Can you hold on for a few minutes? Please, Jade.”

  “Yeah, okay,” she said then took a seat on the couch while he ran into his bedroom. “Pierce, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Jade panicked when he came back to the living room looking nervous and pale.

  “Nothing’s wrong, babe. For the first time in my life everything is right. I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on you that you were meant to be with me forever. You’re the love of my life, Jade, and I don’t want to spend another day apart. I want you here with me and Dane,” Pierce said then knelt in front of her. Jade’s eyes grew as wide as saucers! “Now see, he and I had something really special planned, but I don’t ever want you to question my sincerity. And if I had let you leave I fear you would’ve always wondered why I proposed.” He opened the ring box and held it out in front of her.