by Bowie, Emily
“Just excited about the holidays coming up.” Looking back down, I try to avoid her questioning gaze and focus really hard on breaking the eggs so that I am not fishing any of the shells out.
“You and your friends going to the game coming up?” she asks me. I pause for a moment, deciding how I should answer.
I continue to work, cutting the liquid into the dry ingredients. “I would love to support our team. But I don’t want to hurt Kellen’s feelings and all, so I don’t know.” I try to play on my mother’s golden heart for her to tell me I should go to the game instead of outright asking her.
Feeling the end of my mother’s cloth hit me on the hip, I focus on her as she swoops in, taking the bowl away from me. “Oh hush now. Kellen made his own bed, he’s a big boy, he can handle it. Anyway, Luke’s still on the team and we still need to cheer him on. He’s practically one of us.”
“So you think I should go?” I look up at her through my hair.
“The whole town will be there, of course we all will be going.” My mother nods her head like she has just put down the law.
Her subtle “we” comment doesn’t slide past me, but it’s a step closer in the direction I need to go in.
The oven buzzer goes off and she starts to shoo me from the kitchen.
“Go get the boys and tell them to wash up for dinner.”
Heading outside, I watch my brothers and Luke play football in our backyard. In moments like this I wish Rhett, my oldest brother, were home to enjoy this, too. I know I will miss this when it comes time to leave home. Something about the country seems to make our roots feel deeper and harder to pull out of the ground. But the thing with roots is that once they are out they sometimes just don’t go back in. I think that is what I might be the most afraid of when Luke and I leave for college. But I keep reminding myself that those roots can’t all be pulled out if we are together.
Then I get excited about the fall again. Thinking about other families getting their kids home for the holidays reminds me of what fun it will be to come back home to visit.
Feeling nostalgic, I lift my hand to ring the triangle bell signaling dinner rather than yell out and disrupt their game. Kellen slams the ball down and they all high-five each other. It’s not lost on me that Luke still finds a way to meet my eyes, sending a wink in my direction. I almost sigh in happiness. I want this one day.
*
Finally the house is quiet, I thought it would take forever for everyone to get tired and head in their own directions. I put on my sexiest pair of PJs, which happens to be a pair of loose fitting shorts and a tank. I try to position myself in my bed so that my legs are showcased as I sit propped up reading a book, waiting for the moment that Luke sneaks into my bedroom.
Slowly my eyes start to close as I fight to stay up to read one more chapter. A hard smack on my face wakes me up, making me realize I fell asleep reading and my book just dropped out of my hands onto my nose. I want to cry out in pain but refuse to. Turning, I look at my clock to see it’s well past midnight.
Placing my book on my nightstand, I accept the fact that Luke isn’t coming. Snuggling down into my covers, I allow sleep to overtake my body.
I slightly stir, feeling my bed indent. The smell of Luke washes over me before my eyes get a chance to flutter open.
I feel his breath wash over me as he says something then feel his lips on my cheek. I try to will myself to sit up but then I drift back to sleep feeling safe in his arms.
Feeling the heat of the sun shine through my window, I try to get away from the heat of my blankets by kicking off the covers to only have my legs pinned down. A hard, large frame snuggles closer to me and that’s when I feel it. The large, very hard, warm appendage of Luke’s, as he has my body pinned down to his liking, sleeping through all of my sudden movements. I try to wiggle out from under him, brushing against his lower half with my attempt, and it causes a sleepy groan to leave him.
Pausing, I allow myself to explore him in his half asleep state. My hands slide down underneath his loose boxers. I continue my exploration up until I’m grasping his length. I get another light moan as he unknowingly thrusts himself into my hand. Smiling, liking this relaxed Luke, I grip onto him, matching his sleepy thrust as I fully feel his warm, hard dick in my hands.
He pumps faster into my hand then his eyes fly open, wide with shock and pleasure.
“Fuck, Shay, you feel good.” His words fire through me, landing at the apex of my thighs. More adrenaline spikes in me as I fist his dick harder, knowing he isn’t going to stop me and he’s loving each second of it.
I feel like a sex goddess. With each one of my strokes his face shows his lust and his battle to fight to stay quiet in my bed. I want him to have no self-control when it comes to me. I want him to let me touch him and for him not to worry that he’s touched me too much. I need him to stop thinking of me like Kellen’s little sister and like a woman. A woman he wants to love and fuck all at the same time. I want that with us.
Somehow I have managed to shimmy down his boxers, giving my hand full unstoppable access to him. Needing to prove to him that I am just as sexy and confident as any other willing female, I sink down slowly. So slowly he’s too far gone with me touching him to notice.
His thrusts are harder and his breathing quickens. Just as I put my mouth on him I hear him whisper, “Oh fuck.”
He thrusts so deep that it touches my tonsils and I nearly choke but refuse to let go. His hands tangle in my hair. I’m not sure if it’s to stop me or to keep me there. My hands grasp onto his hips that bite into his ass cheeks. I take him fully into my mouth, twirling my tongue before he bucks into me again. This time I feel hot, warm liquid shoot into my mouth. I drink it like a champ.
Before coming up I use the back of my hand to wipe my mouth before his mouth attacks mine. Our tastes mingle before he slowly pulls away so that our foreheads are only touching.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know.” The smirk on my face remaining in place. “I wanted to.”
“Fuck, I wish I could stay in here with you all morning,” he confesses.
“All in due time,” I say, knowing we have our future mapped out once we get out of this town.
A slight creak in the old floorboards has Luke jumping out of my bed and landing on the opposite side of my room. He bounces on one foot as he tries to pull up his boxers without falling down. I watch for a moment before falling back down, pretending to be asleep just as my door hisses open.
“What the hell are you doing in here, man?” my brother hisses at Luke.
“Thought I would look around her room for clues.” I hear nothing but shuffling around and a drawer open.
“In her underwear?” Kellen sounds disgusted, his voice farther into my room.
I can imagine him visibly shake as Luke is caught with a pink thong in his hand. Or at least that’s what I’m imagining is happening right now.
“Yeah, girls love to hide shit in there. Trust me, I know.” Luke sounds so calm and collected, I actually wonder if that in fact is one of his sister’s hiding spots.
I hear Kellen huff, and I wish I could see him to read his expression to know what he is thinking.
“Come on, let’s go before she wakes up. We can come back here later. Anyway, I think I have a plan.” My brother’s voice fades out into the hall, and I don’t dare move until I hear my bedroom door click shut.
CHAPTER 21
Luke and Kellen are back to being thick as thieves, giving the two of us opportunities that I have only dreamed about. He has spent practically the entire last week living at our house. Sneaking into my bedroom at night to sleep until the sun comes up then sneaking back into Kellen’s room. I can still feel his warmth hours later as I sit in my room with my best friends.
It’s the afternoon of the championship game, Molly and Jessica are over and proudly wearing the practice uniforms from other players, and I can’t help but be jealous. I want to wear Luke’s bu
t am too afraid of outing us.
The slight creak at my doorway brings our attention to Kellen who is standing there leaning on the doorframe. “Why aren’t you wearing a jersey?” Kellen asks.
“That’s what we were just saying.” Jessica pins me with a glare then smiles at Kellen, showing off her perfect smile.
“Here”—he tosses a jersey at me—“you will be ridiculed if you don’t show any Bull Dog pride.” He leaves our view before I can even reply.
Flipping over the white jersey I expect to see Kellen’s number, instead, Luke’s is staring back at me. My mouth goes dry, caught off guard, while wondering if he knows.
My girls peer over before they give each other a look. I want to throw it on before anyone can take it away from me but I hold my movements, trying not to act too obvious.
“So is it true?” Molly asks with wide eyes. Jessica shuffles closer, looking like she is settling in to watch a movie, her eyes going back and forth from me to Molly.
“Is what true?” My eyes goes back to the jersey and I pull it over my head before pulling it together at the side to make it more fitted and showcase my hip bones.
“Are you and Luke seeing each other?”
My heart pounds into my throat and I don’t know what to say.
“Me?” I feel like I’m a deer caught in headlights. Do I deny or fess up? I want to scream at the top of my lungs about our relationship but am too scared to take the chance. I hate keeping secrets from my best friends. I’m at a crossroads.
My two best friends make a hmmm sound before Molly answers, “That’s the word on the street.” Her eyes flicker with the hope of newsworthy gossip.
I’m curious as to how people know, we have been so careful. Then my thoughts fly to Cynthia. That lying bitch. She would be the person to start a rumor like that. But is it a rumor if it’s true?
“Oh my gracious,” Jessica exclaims before slapping a hand over her mouth.
“It is true!” Molly says in amazement.
“No one can know!” I plead with them. They make a zipping movement across their lips telling me it’s sealed.
Kellen must not have heard the rumor if he is handing me Luke’s jersey, and the thought occurs to me that I may need a cover story as to why this has come up.
“If Kellen doesn’t know why did he just give you that?” Jessica asks before they begin to cook up all types of schemes for why my brother may have done this.
I just shrug. It’s who Kellen is. He is always looking out for me. He probably heard that all the girls were going to be wearing jerseys and didn’t want me to be left out.
*
Stepping under the bright lights of the field, I can feel the buzz in the air. The stadium is filling up fast with the entire town making the road trip to this event. Our small town has become a ghost town for this occasion, with every shop closed down for the holiday. Small kids are running around in-between the stands, teens are stealing kisses under the bleachers, parents are back-slapping or gossiping, everyone is united. It is magical. I have dark red eye shadow under my eyes trying to mimic what the football players use.
My jersey is tightly secured to my body while my black leggings showcase my curves. Stepping away, unnoticed, I loiter around the back of our team’s locker room, the building blocking any view of the tiered platform where our town awaits for our boys to make history.
“Fuck you look sexy in my shirt.” Luke’s voice sounds gruff behind me. When I turn, I step into his arms as he embraces me. “How did you pull this off?” he asks with his hands going to my sides, taking me all in.
In this moment, we feel real. Like we are right where we should be. Maybe Kellen wouldn’t be so upset if he found out anyway. He knows Luke is a good guy; he may even embrace us being together. The magic of tonight has me hoping.
He bends his head down for a kiss and my lips meet his halfway.
“Tonight we celebrate!” he tells me excitedly. He looks happy, like he just got everything he has ever wanted.
“Tonight is ours,” I tell him, being swept up in the frenzy the football game created.
I watch him jog back into the room, excited to cheer him on. For the first time, I relax about our relationship.
“So it is true, little sister is in love.” Cynthia steps into my vision with that evil smile of hers, ruining my perfect mood.
“Excuse me, I was just leaving.” I try to step around her, not wanting to be near her.
“So was I.” She links her arm around mine, leading the way toward my family. She is wearing Brax’s old jersey, and I feel nauseous. She makes me literally sick. This girl is poison, killing everything good in her path.
Her grip is tight on my arm as she smiles and waves at whoever will look our way. She is a great actress, if I didn’t know any better I would think we are friends.
“Why stay with Brax?” I ask her as I wave to a few of the parents I know. This question has been on repeat, and I just can’t figure it out. Why tie herself down to one person if she doesn’t want to? I’m sure Brax wouldn’t be offended if she just wanted a friends-with-benefits thing.
She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes and sighs. “You are just so naïve, Little Shay, my little doll.” Her voice is mocking and she even grabs a chunk of my cheek and pinches it with her bony little fingers.
Stepping up onto the bleachers, the stands are full. My parents wave us over and I hate that Brax’s eyes light up when he sees Cynthia. I lead the way, hoping to create some much-needed space between us. Just as we get about halfway up I turn to head into the row, but I trip over a well-placed foot. Cynthia’s foot to be exact, the little she-devil tripped me on purpose. I try to catch myself, but to no avail, my ankle twisting in the process. Cynthia sidesteps out of my way, which opens up the entire length of stairs we just walked up. I am just a fraction too far from the railing to catch myself on it as I go backward ass over teacup. My ass hits the corner of a step before my body ricochets into a backward somersault.
Coming to a stop, I’m dazed and horrified all at once. A hush has taken over the stands and I am scared to lift my head up. I want the ground to swallow me up whole. The lights make me squint toward the sky and then the brightness is gone as Cynthia’s evil grin is in my view.
To an observer she looks kind and concerned, the perfect human being. Getting close to my face she whispers in my ear, “You don’t want to get on my bad side by doing anything stupid now.”
As she is finishing her sentence, she drags me up with a sharp tug, and everyone’s eyes are on me. My family is rushing down the stairs, making so much ruckus that if anyone somehow missed my ass in the air they would now know something went down.
God, I hope this doesn’t become the talk of the night. My parents try to fuss over me but I wiggle out of their grip, wanting to slink into the shadows.
“I’m fine.” Those words are on repeat over and over as I start the hike back up the steps, wishing I could start this day all over again.
CHAPTER 22
I’m feeling like I’m on some sort of cloud nine. We just won the mother fucking championship! This is a huge deal since our town is so small. The first person I see when I exit the locker room is Shay, standing next to the chain-link fence that surrounds the field. She is breathtaking in my jersey. Her hair is down but pulled out of her face by a fabric band that is in our school colors.
It is in this moment I know that I am in this for the long haul. I want what my parents have, high school sweethearts, their love is so intense. I can already picture us living in my parents’ house when I take over the ranch after my dad decides to retire.
The whole team trails either in front of me or behind, and it’s only after I get jostled a little bit that I realize that not only is Shay standing there but so are all the girls from our school. We make our descent toward them, eager to high-five anyone willing to take part in the fun. I don’t miss a beat by picking up Shay and twirling her around before I follow in line with my team towa
rd the parking lot.
I would have loved to do a dramatic dip kiss, telling everyone that Shay is my girl, but I can hold off for a few minutes. I don’t plan to leave her side tonight no matter what.
Horns are blowing, whistles are going off amongst the cheers. I see signs in the air cheering our victory while girls are hoisted onto shoulders to help enjoy the celebration. This is it. My high school career in the nutshell. Everything we have worked so hard for. A part of me is happy that it is done. My old goals in life seem no longer that relevant with the new ones I hold dear now. Hopping into the back of a pickup truck, I watch as Kellen hoists her over the tailgate along with her best friends before we all are jammed in.
Other than a tap of a hand on the truck roof, there is no warning before we start moving. Wind hits all of our faces as we take a seat, practically sitting on top of each other. Shay is to my right and I fight the urge to bring her onto my lap.
The after party is at another ranch down the ways from my house. Trucks, cars, and tractors line the ditches, all the way into the long, deep driveway. I make a point to help Shay out, just for another chance to steal another touch with her. As soon as I lift her out of the truck bed I can feel a shiver run through her body.
“You cold?” I ask, already taking off my letterman jacket and wrapping it over her shoulders.
Her smile is so bright; I will do everything to keep it there. I step forward, ready to move toward the party, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Turning, I see Kellen. Somehow, in those few moments, I forgot that he was with us. I pull back, waiting to be slugged in the face. Instead, his facial features show no anger and he turns his back so no one can hear what he says to me.
“Keep it up, man, you’re doing great,” he tells me. “You stay near her the whole night and we will either scare the poor guy off or bring him out with jealousy.”
Yes, you heard right. Kellen’s great big plan is to make other people think that Shay and I are together. In a perfect world this is fucking A, but the thing is we still can’t do PDA because Shay knows nothing of this plan. And if I walk up and gave her a big old fat kiss Kellen will be screaming for the brakes and still punch me out.