by Anne Herries
‘I dare say I am a managing female,’ she said with a twinkle in her eyes. ‘It is because I am not at all romantic and, instead of fainting prettily, I thought it more sensible to see you in the doctor’s care as soon as it could be achieved.’
Brock gave a shout of laughter, a look of admiration in his eyes. ‘I wonder if Phipps has any idea of what he has taken on, the lucky devil,’ he said. ‘I shall look forward to your visit next month, Miss Hamilton.’
‘As shall I, sir,’ she said. ‘Please forgive me, Papa is anxious to leave.’
She went out and found Phipps talking to her father and Cousin Sarah. Phipps had decided to stay with Brock until his own people arrived.
‘If I think him ill, I shall accompany him home,’ Phipps said. ‘However, if he is well enough to be in the care of his servants I shall be with you tomorrow evening by the latest.’
Amanda gave him her hand and he held it for a moment. Between thanking her cousin and assuring her father she was ready, there was no time for a private word with him.
‘I shall see you soon,’ she said and gave him a smile that was just for him. ‘Please do whatever you consider necessary and do not think of us, for we shall understand.’
Seeing her papa was anxious to leave, she tore herself away and followed him out to the carriage.
‘Well,’ Papa said as he handed her into the carriage, ‘that was quite an adventure for you, my love, but I must tell you that I am glad it is over.’
‘Yes, Papa,’ she said and sighed. ‘I am very glad—particularly that that evil man can no longer threaten us.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ Papa said as he got in beside her and told the coachman to drive on. ‘That was unpleasant, my love. Now we must hope that nothing more happens to disturb your pleasure.’
* * *
The journey home was accomplished without incident and her loving mama and the servants welcomed Amanda as though she were a long-lost heroine. She found their compliments and concern almost overwhelming and was glad to escape to her room, where she could be at last alone. She had been given little leisure to consider what had happened the previous night, when Phipps had held her and kissed her so passionately. The memory of it made her tingle with pleasure and anticipation, and she could hardly wait for the next two days to pass when he would be with them once more.
Amanda had not dared to hope that her husband-to-be had anything more than a feeling of warm affection for her, but his kiss had told of something very different. Something inside her had responded so willingly that she’d kissed him without reserve, and, had Brock not been so seriously ill and they in different circumstances, she would’ve been happy to give herself to him completely. And that was quite disgraceful! Mama would not approve of such behaviour, even if she was engaged, and Amanda herself had never meant to lose her head.
What chance had she of hiding her true feelings when they were married if a simple kiss could cause her to abandon all modesty in such a shameless manner? What must Phipps think of her? Yet he had not seemed to feel disgust—indeed, she knew he had been reluctant to let her go when Brock’s cry alerted them to his discomfort.
Could it be that he had learned to care for her? Amanda was afraid to hope lest she was disappointed. She must not look for too much, because then she would be so much more vulnerable.
A sigh left her as she realised that somehow she had to get through the intervening hours and give no one any indication of the fever of impatience running through her blood. Jane was still her guest and it was an opportunity to devote herself to her friend, and to have the last fittings for her wedding gown.
It had arrived the previous day and was something of a disappointment to Amanda, as she’d hoped it would have a long line at the waist and flare softly over her hips, which were still frustratingly bigger than she would have wished. Instead, it was loose around her waist and bunched out into a full skirt and was not at all what they had ordered.
However, Jane came to the rescue and they spent most of the day taking in the seams so that the bodice fitted her and made her waist appear quite small.
‘You have the kind of figure many gentlemen admire,’ Jane said when she stood back to look at her handiwork. ‘No, do not shake your head, Amanda. You have full breasts, a small waist and good hips.’
‘You mean I have a big bottom,’ Amanda said. ‘No, Jane, do not deny it.’
Jane laughed, amused by her plain speaking. ‘No, no, my dearest friend. A few months ago perhaps that was true, but I assure you that your figure is good now. Curvaceous, I grant you that, but how many ladies truly are slender and willowy? Besides, some gentlemen do not like their wives to be thin—my grandfather used to say I was all skin and bone and he liked a good armful to cuddle up to at night.’
‘Oh, please spare my blushes,’ Amanda cried, glad that Mama was not in the room to hear. She would think less of Jane for saying such a thing, but Amanda knew that her friend was only being kind. ‘Thank you for being such a friend to me, Jane. This gown looks much better now.’
‘I think you look lovely,’ Jane replied and a sigh left her lips. ‘I wish I might stay with you, for if I could I would take some of the fullness from that skirt—and to think that I particularly told her you wanted a slender silhouette!’
‘She thought she knew best, probably believed that I would put on weight again before my wedding.’
‘She should learn that her clients know best what they want,’ Jane said crossly. ‘I wish that I might have my own establishment, for I could design such lovely things—if only I had the chance.’
‘Do you not wish to be married?’
‘Perhaps, if I found the right man—but that is unlikely. Gentlemen hardly see me, Amanda, and those that do have other things in mind than marriage.’
‘I am sorry you should feel that way,’ Amanda said and pressed her hand. ‘Do not despair, Jane. I am sure you will find someone soon.’
Amanda would miss her when she went home, but Phipps would be with her soon and in truth she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could.
* * *
To Amanda’s extreme disappointment a letter was received the next day to tell her that Phipps had decided he ought to accompany Brock to his home. Although the fever had passed, Brock was feeling out of sorts and unusually weak for him.
I need hardly tell you that I think him in no danger for Shearne can no longer harm anyone. All that business has been settled and a line drawn beneath it. You, my dearest Amanda, will have nothing to say at the inquest, which should be a formality for we have several witnesses. Since both Brock and I will be needed, I thought it best to see him home and then we can arrange whatever more needs to be done, though it cannot occasion either of us the least trouble.
Forgive me for putting another’s interests first at such a time. I hope to be with you within a week at the very latest.
Your affectionate and devoted servant,
Phipps
Amanda read his letter with mixed feelings. She found the terms of it agreeable, but regretted that he must spend more time away from her. However, there was nothing she could do and must bear with her mother’s disapproval in silence. Phipps would not stay away unless he thought it necessary for his friend’s sake.
It was going to be hard for her to wait in patience, because things needed to be settled between them. Amanda had not expected too much at the beginning, for she was aware that she had bought herself a husband, and even though she’d made up her mind not to regard it, she could not help a few misgivings. Had she been entirely wise, she wondered, for she was vulnerable and if Phipps chose to hurt her and misuse her fortune she could not prevent him.
Her instinct bade her trust him. Papa seemed well pleased with his future son-in-law and Amanda trusted her father’s judgement. He was not easily fooled and though she might be blinded by the good looks and charm of her fiancé, her father was most unlikely to accord Phipps respect unless he had deserved it.
Unable to see or talk to Phipps the doubts crept into her mind unbidden. He had probably been overcome by his feelings of gratitude for her help with his friend when he kissed her. She had read too much into his manner, for had he been as impatient as she, he might have trusted Brock’s servants to care for him. She knew that they had arrived and taken charge for Jenks had delivered Phipps’s letter.
While warm with affection, Phipps’s letter could not be mistaken for a love letter. The more Amanda thought about it, the more she realised that she had made too much of the small incident. They had both been swept away by the emotion of the situation and the intimacy in which they found themselves had given what was after all just a kiss far more importance than it actually had.
* * *
By the time the end of the week had come, Amanda had begun to think that she’d imagined the feeling in that kiss. She was such a fool and she could only hope that her response had not given him a disgust of her.
Now that Jane had gone home, Amanda was left with little to do but visit friends and pore over the wedding lists: guests, rooms, food and wine were the subject of much discussion between Mama and Papa. Amanda took to riding out with her groom for two hours every morning because she was too restless to sit in the parlour. In the afternoons they quite often had visitors and she was pressed as to the whereabouts of her fiancé, who everyone imagined to be staying with them. Amanda knew her neighbours thought it odd and she suspected that they were whispering about her, probably pitying her because she could not keep him with her even before the wedding.
Mama thought the same and was quite cross with him. She hinted several times that Amanda might have done better for herself.
When Lord Armstrong came to visit, bringing messages and gifts from his mama, Lady Hamilton made a great fuss of him and left him with Amanda while she went away to write a letter for her friend, and pressed on him some jars of the wonderful honey their hives produced for Susanna.
He stayed with them one night, and Amanda took him on a tour of the estate the next morning. He helped her from her horse when they returned to the yard and held her hand for some minutes, looking down at her gravely.
‘When I heard from Miss Field what occurred at those ruins I told Mama I must come and make certain that you were not harmed. You must know that I have a great regard for you, Miss Amanda. I should have been devastated had anything more untoward occurred.’
‘Thankfully, due to Phipps’s quick thinking I received no more than a few bruises.’
‘Yes, one must thank Providence for that,’ he agreed. ‘One does not necessarily approve of his methods—a knife between the shoulder blades is not the chosen weapon of a gentleman. One wonders why or how such a skill was developed.’
‘Oh, I think he made good use of it in Spain, against the enemy, you know,’ Amanda said, a sparkle in her eyes. ‘You must not show disapproval of him to me, sir. I was very grateful, for otherwise that man would have killed me. He did intend it.’
‘How very shocking and dreadful that would have been. I do not think I could have borne it,’ he said and pressed her hand again. Looking at her oddly, he added in a soft voice, ‘I did wonder if all this had given you a distaste for the lieutenant and his friends? To have involved the lady he intended to marry in such a dangerous encounter seems careless to me—if not scandalous.’
‘I assure you that it was not Phipps or Major Brockley who brought the marquis’s wrath to bear on me, but my own attitude towards him. He was rude and encroaching towards Miss Field and I spoke harshly to him for it.’
‘That is all very well,’ he said. ‘I dare say there can have been nothing in it for you are not yet married...though it might have been otherwise had the wedding already taken place. I would advise you to be careful, Miss Hamilton. I believe there was a lady he was very fond of but unable to marry because he could not afford her—marriages on the rebound are not always the happiest. She is recently widowed, I understand. With a fortune at his command...’
Amanda’s eyes took fire. It was with difficulty that she restrained herself, and only the knowledge that his mother was Mama’s best friend held her back. Was he indeed hinting that Phipps would be happy to see her die if they had first been married? How dare he! It took every ounce of self-control to answer him civilly.
‘I do not know what you imply, sir, but I can assure you that Phipps’s only part in this was to protect me from harm.’
On that note they walked into the house and parted. Amanda was seething underneath. Had he dared to suggest that Phipps might have let her die? She was so angry that she barely spoke to him when he took his leave later that day, and when Mama said how good it was in him to visit her she had nothing to add.
How could he imply that Phipps only cared for her fortune? Amanda was so angry that she wanted to scream and shout, but of course she had kept her frustration inside. It would be foolish to allow his insinuations to destroy her happiness.
She had no way of knowing if it was true that Phipps had once loved a lady whom he could not marry for lack of a fortune, nor if he still cared for her. Amanda had never considered such a thing, because he had paid attention to her and also to Cynthia the whole Season. Cynthia had withdrawn and Phipps had chosen to ask Amanda—why would he do that if his old love had suddenly become free once more?
No, she would not believe Lord Armstrong’s spite. She did not know why he should wish to marry her—or why he would stoop to underhand tactics—but thought the less of him for pursuing it now that she was engaged.
Deciding that it was merely pique at being overlooked in favour of another, Amanda decided to put the unpleasant incident from her mind. She did so wish that Phipps would come back and resume that kiss where they had left off.
Chapter Twelve
Phipps was obliged to attend two meetings with the local magistrate before the affair was finally finished. Brock had been too unwell to give his evidence for some days, but after they made the journey to the court and swore their testimony, they were told that no more would be heard of the matter. Further investigations had proved that Shearne was in financial difficulties and there was some evidence of his being responsible for a young man’s death. Apparently, a gentleman had lodged a complaint of his son’s having been cheated and ruined, a circumstance that led to his taking his own life. Once this was known, and the marquis’s general bad character had been established, the magistrate no longer doubted that Phipps had acted lawfully in saving the life of the lady he was to marry: even though, in his considered opinion, a knife in the back was not the act of a gentleman.
As Brock observed to him on the way home, had the magistrate been in charge of the raiding parties Phipps had led on enemy positions, Wellington would have lost the war. Amanda’s life had been in peril and anyone but a fool would have hailed him as a hero.
Phipps had arranged to leave Brock’s home to journey to Amanda’s the next day, when the letter arrived for him. Its contents were so shattering that he hardly knew what to do for the best. His elder brother had been brought home from a riding accident and was not expected to live. Phipps’s parents wanted him home immediately. They apologised for dragging him away from his friends, but his mother was prostrate on her bed and his father did not know what to do to comfort her.
Phipps took his leave immediately. His plan to join Amanda as soon as he could complete the journey was at a standstill. His brother had always been a good friend and the shock of learning that Alex was close to death was devastating. Obviously, his first duty was to his parents at this time, though he knew Amanda must be fretting and he wanted to be with her. This should have been a time of celebration, a time when the young couple got to know one another and received the congratulations of their friends.
Amanda’s family had the wedding plans already well under way, and now Phipps was not even sure that it would go ahead without some lengthy delay. If his brother died...how could he go ahead with celebrations when his family was in strict mourning? I
t was a terrible blow and he could not think straight.
He ought to write to Amanda and tell her of his disappointment, but for the moment he had only one thought in his head, and that was to reach his home as quickly as possible.
Surely, this was all a nightmare? He would wake up and discover that he had dreamed the whole. His elder brother was such a fine strong man and the pride of his father, the favourite child of his mother. They would be devastated. Phipps could not desert them to go off and marry Amanda and take her to Paris for a honeymoon, as he’d planned.
He must write to her father and explain, also to Amanda to tell her how very sorry he was—but those letters must wait until he was home and knew exactly what the situation was.
* * *
Phipps had never been more shocked in his life than when he saw Alexander lying unconscious against the white sheets. Little colour remained in his cheeks and his breath was so shallow that he had to lean closer to assure himself that his brother did indeed live. Placing a hand on his brother’s forehead, he felt quite cool. He was not suffering from a fever, but showed few signs of life.
‘What does the doctor say?’ Phipps asked of Lord Piper. ‘Does he give Alex a chance?’
‘As yet he will not commit himself. I know he is worried because your brother shows no sign of recovering consciousness... He told me straight that I must prepare myself for the worst, Peter.’
‘Surely you won’t just give up? Have you sent for Knighton from London? These blows to the head are not always fatal, sir.’
‘No, but sometimes it’s worse,’ Lord Piper said. ‘He might live and yet never come to his senses—or be something other than he was...’