Scars and Songs (Mad World)

by Christine Zolendz

  I lifted her gently into my arms, and I swear it was like touching fire. Carrying her through the hallway, she tried to wrap her arms around my neck, but she seemed too weak to lift them. As I opened the door to her room, I gasped and my entire body stiffened with annoyed anger. Even though the walls of her room had been re-sheet rocked and painted since the fire, she had no furniture, except a large mattress lying across her bare floor. Her laptop and guitar were leaning against the far wall.

  “God, Grace, you don’t have a bed?” I asked, lowering her softly onto the mattress and brushed a stray hair from off my face.

  Lea was next to me handing me a small glass of juice and a handful of aspirin.

  “Grace, baby. Please open your eyes and take these aspirin.” I whispered.

  She looked up at me through narrow lids and tried to smile. “God, he is so beautiful, he looks like an angel,” she murmured. Then she swallowed the pills and closed her eyes. A cold sweat broke out all over my body and a sharp painful chill surged through my spine. I looked at Lea for help, but she just offered me a tight smile and walked towards the door.

  “Lea, wait. We can’t leave her in these clothes, she’s soaking wet from sweating. Find something that she can wear to bed. I’ll leave, so you can change her,” I whispered.

  I stood in the hallway while Lea changed her and when she told me to come back in, I was shocked by what Lea dressed her in. A small sexy tank top and a pair of lacy boy shorts was all she wore. Leave it to Lea. I knelt next to her, pulled the covers up to her chin and kissed her scorching forehead. “Get, some sleep, babe,” I whispered. I’m sleeping on the couch until she feels better, and if that fever doesn’t break tonight, I’m taking her to the hospital.

  She opened her eyes halfway and lifted a hand to my face. I leaned into her palm, worshipping the softness of her skin. “Don’t go, Shane. Stay with me.”

  Forever Grace.

  I smiled down at her, “Okay.” Getting up quickly, I pulled off my shirt and jeans, and threw them into her hamper. With only my boxers on, I slid under the covers next to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her tight against me. “Are you okay, does anything hurt?” I asked, nuzzling my face into her neck.

  Her words were slurred and slow but I had no problem figuring out what she said, “Just stay with me, Shane. The devil says he loves me, and he’s coming to get me. Crap, I hope I didn’t say that out loud.”

  “Shut up and go to sleep, Grace,” I whispered softly before I placed my lips on the nape of her warm neck, just below her ear, and kissed her.

  She slept restlessly for a few hours, and at some point in the early hours of the morning, she woke up screaming and sweating. “Shh,” I murmured, brushing my hands over her cheek. “You’re safe, Grace; I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again.” My lips pressed a soft kiss over hers.

  She slept straight through the next day without moving, just a few whimpers here and there. I only left her room to run to the bathroom or grab a sandwich from Lea. The rest of the time, I spent holding Grace or using her computer to buy her some bedroom furniture. I constantly kept her iTunes on, letting her playlists fill her room with soft calming background music.

  On the second day of us tangled in her sheets together, with her legs wrapped tightly around my thighs, her eyes fluttered open, lips smiling. As a soft glow filtered through her curtains, I sang along to the song Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright with warm whispers into her ear. My hand drew small circles along the exposed skin of her lower back, traveling over the lacy material of her shorts until my aching fingertips met with the bare skin of the back of her legs.

  As I touched her, she took her bottom lip between her teeth, bit down tightly and moaned softly in contentment.

  I shifted my body, and as my fingers danced delicately down her legs to the back of her knees, I pressed my thighs harder between her legs, feeling her warmth seep through my skin. Her body trembled and her breath caught.

  I hovered my face over hers and our eyes locked in the soft low light from the window that teasingly fell over our bodies. I searched those eyes for answers, for emotions and an exquisite crimson blush slowly spread across her cheeks, and quickly reached over the flesh of her neck and across her chest.

  Slowly, as our eyes were fixed on each other’s, our bodies began rocking against each other. Her eyes fluttered closed and she groaned, pressing herself harder against me, her soft hands skid trails of fire across my bare chest. My body throbbed; ached with anticipation of being inside her, any part of me; my tongue, my fingers, all of me.

  “God, Grace,” I murmured into her open lips, hovering over them breathing her in, “I never needed someone the way I need you.” Then our lips touched softly, gently savoring, nipping and kissing each other with a growing hunger. I could feel her pounding heart slamming itself up against her chest, her breasts heaving with panting breath against my skin. She wound me up so tight, twisted my insides into hard granite, I swear if she just grazed me with her hand, I would have fucking exploded from my pure unadulterated need for her.

  My needful fingers slid up the back of her thighs again, reaching the lacy trim of her panties. I pressed my thigh harder against her hot core and cupped the curves of her bottom spreading her legs open. I slowly skated my fingers along the lace trim, slipping every once in a while beneath them into her wet heat.

  “Baby, I need to taste you,” I growled with jagged breaths. I trailed my tongue along her jaw, nipping and sucking at her skin, down her neck and licked hungrily at the top curve of her perfect breasts. My tongue burned to plunge itself deep inside the heat that was scorching and drenching my fingers.

  She yanked down the material of her top so I could taste more of those perfect tits, her nipples hard and sweet like fucking candy. She whimpered and rocked harder against my hand. “Yes, please. Shane, please…” she begged softly.

  Then? Then could you guess what happened?

  Fucking Lea.

  I told you her mouth was lethal. Because when her voice broke through the stunning erotic sounds of Grace begging me to taste her, I almost dropped dead. My fucking balls were so blue that if I looked in the mirror a damn Smurf would be looking back at me.

  “Hey!” Lea banged on Grace’s bedroom door. Grace’s body trembled as I groaned from putting a few inches of distance between us. “Pizza’s here,” she said as she burst into the room. “Let’s go, Grace, you need to eat something,” she sang idiotically.

  There is something so wrong with that girl. HOW could she NOT smell the ALMOST SEX in here? I was so lightheaded that I swear black and blue dots danced in front of my eyes.

  Grace lifted the sheets over her head and straightened her shirt, “No, go away,” she moaned. I felt her squeeze her knees together, giving me a frustrated moan. I could tell the ache in between her thighs was as maddening as mine. A slow smile crept across my face knowing I still had her ass cupped in my hand under the covers.

  “I got one of the pies with spinach and black olives,” Lea sang, bouncing on the balls of her feet. All I could think of was what things I could possibly throw at the woman to make her leave. There was nothing. I wish I had a brick.

  I chuckled when Tucker and Conner appeared in the doorway behind Lea. Chanting some dumbass pizza song. Yeah, there went my erection. I plucked the covers from Grace’s eyes, but still kept both our bodies covered. Alex, Brayden and Ethan filled the doorway behind Tucker and Conner joining in the pizza chant alongside the others. Laughing, I leaned my face into Grace’s neck and with my voice still shaky and full of desire I growled, “I’m locking the damn door next time.”

  She bit down on her lip, “Next time?”

  “Yeah, Grace. Next time,” I whispered, pulling my head back to look at her. Her heather eyes seemed in as much pain as I felt. I slowly skimmed one of my hands across the front of her panties, dragging it teasingly over the wetness, applying pressure in all the right spots. Her lips parted slightly, and then she bit down hard as sh
e clutched at my hand and pressed it hard against her. Her eyes silently begged me for more. Damn, my girl was hot. Hot and fucking dirty, with all of our friends watching. I lifted her ass with the one hand that still cupped it and pressed my other against the dampness the front of her undies, rubbing my fingers in quick hard thrusts. She rocked against my hand, the moisture of her sliding over my fingers, until her insides tensed and her body trembled in pleasure, “PIZZA, YES, PIZZA!” Shattering against my skin, she came undone right in the palm of my hand. Her eyes locked on mine the entire time.

  All of our friends still stood at the door chanting about pizza along with her.

  The most stunning shade of blush spread across her cheeks and I had trouble breathing from her beauty. “That was the most exquisite thing I have ever seen,” I whispered into her ear. Sliding my cheek against hers, I apologized, “And I’m so damn sorry.”

  She tilted her head back a bit to look into my eyes. Her bottom lip trembled and her shoulders fell forward, “Sorry that happened?”

  How could she ever think that? “No, Grace,” I moved closer, whispering into her hair and kissing her neck. “I’m sorry I had to stop.”

  Chapter 28

  Lea immediately dragged Grace into the bathroom to shower while the rest of us started demolishing the pizza. After ten minutes of waiting for her to shower and change, I walked myself into Grace’s room without knocking. No one noticed me standing there.

  Grace had her hands on Lea’s shoulders, a serious expression covering her face. “Shh. Lea, stop. Of course, I keep telling Gabriel no. I don’t want to be with him, I want to be here. This is my last chance to live a normal human existence and I want it. Please believe me, okay? I know I’ve drilled it in your head that I wanted something and someone else, but he’s gone. Shamsiel is gone. Maybe he left to save me, maybe he just didn’t love me, I don’t know. But I get it now.”

  Lea’s eyes caught mine, but she continued the conversation without letting Grace know I was listening. “What do you get now?” she asked.

  “I’ve spent my entire existence trying to create this perfect fairytale happily ever after future; bending fate to the way I thought it should be, or living in a past that I was never supposed to have. I’ve never lived in the present, and cherished the moments I’m in,” Grace explained.

  My heart almost flew out of my chest and fell before her feet. I stepped through the door interrupting her, “That sounds like a pretty enlightened view of life.” Her eyes widened when she saw me and I offered her an innocent smile, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut in, but I wanted to see if you were okay. And, I, uh, seem to remember you screaming you, uh, wanted pizza.” I gave her a little wink.

  Laughing, “Shut up,” she whispered. “I’m not enlightened, more like grounded now.”

  Lea threw her arms over her head, and her face reddened with anger. “Grace is being harassed and WE think that this is the same guy who has been trying to hurt her!” she blurted out. “His name is GABRIEL, Shane, and he just shows up HERE and threatens her!”

  I laughed so fucking hard at the thought of Gabriel trying to threaten her in front of me, I snorted. “Well, then I guess that it’s a good thing that I’m stuck staying here tonight, huh?” I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans, wincing a bit when I accidently nudged my dick that was still cursing at Lea behind my zipper. “So, Gabriel, huh? Why’s he harassing you?”

  Lea sighed dramatically and walked for the door, “You two really need to tell each other everything. You two stubborn asshats are perfect for each other,” she mumbled on her way out.

  I watched Grace’s eyes turn to saucers and she swallowed hard, “He’s nobody. Just someone I thought was a friend, but he isn’t. It’s nothing to worry about,” she said.

  I stepped closer to her, and rubbed my thumb along the smoothness of her cheek. “Well, let’s see, Grace. About six weeks ago, someone attacked you in a bar and I was stabbed. Then there was the fire in your apartment that someone set on purpose. Oh, yeah, and don’t forget the part where some guy stabbed you and tore your insides up and you were in a coma for four weeks. And your best friend thinks Gabriel has something to do with it, and you think it’s nothing?” I gently tugged her closer to me and sighed, “I really wish you could believe in me enough to let me know what’s really going on so I could protect you.”

  She leaned into my hands and her knees seemed to liquefy and melt into me. It was intoxicating thinking that I could make her react like that with the touch of my hands.

  “He was my ex’s best friend and he thinks he’s in love with me. And well, to make a long story short, he thinks if he can’t have me, no one else should either.”

  My heart stopped. Seriously, it did. It stopped and I gasped for air for about a minute before my lungs could fill again. Gabriel was in love with my Grace. That’s what this was all about? He wanted what was mine from the beginning, as simple as that. I could feel the strain of my muscles against my skin and I clenched my hands tightly into white knuckled fists. “That’s what this is all about? He loves you?” I hissed through clenched teeth.

  Grace’s gaze on me faltered and she looked down to the floor. “This has nothing to do with you anyway, so you don’t have to bother yourself with it. Anyway, why did you say you’re stuck here tonight?”

  I cupped her cheeks in my hands. “I’m not letting anyone hurt you, got it?” I moved closer and slowly covered her lips with mine, “But, I do understand him loving you so much that he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.”

  She whimpered into my lips and slid her tongue longingly against mine. I backed her against the wall, and twisted my hands through her damp hair. Gabriel had no idea what love was. Love wasn’t forcing someone to feel the same thing you do for your own benefit. Love is patiently waiting for centuries to touch someone’s lips again; love was giving up everything of yourself to let someone else be safe. Love is that breathless feeling when you want someone. It’s the need to be a part of someone or you won’t feel whole. My love, my Grace was my gravity, what kept my feet stuck on this earth.

  My lips continued to sweep across hers fiercely, tongues twisting and dancing. We didn’t come up for air. She clawed her hands up my chest and I tugged at the waist of her pant bottoms. I was five seconds away from slamming myself into her against the fucking wall until she forgot what Gabriel looked like.

  A presence slid up next to us. It giggled. It quietly sang the words, ‘It’s getting hawt in here, let’s take off all our clothes.’ Then it slid up real close to us and screamed, “Hey! Pizza! Let’s go! She’s needs to eat, Shane!”

  Cupping her face with both my hands, I brought my forehead against hers and laughed, “You know, with Lea around, I can understand why there hasn’t been many guys in your life,” I said teasingly.

  Laughter bubbled out of her mouth as she playfully smacked me in the arm. “Shut up! Although, you’re probably right!”

  “Come on, you really do need to eat,” I said, tugging her gently by her waist into the hallway. I nuzzled my face into her neck as I walked behind her; my arms still wrapped around her tightly. “By the way, everyone is stuck staying here tonight. Our entire apartment building is having a cleaning service, uh, disinfect what Vixen4 did while they stayed there. Then it will be decorated for Vixen4’s after show party tomorrow so they can mess it up, all over again,” I sighed.

  When I mentioned Vixen4, Grace’s lips tightened and her head jerked up, her eyes narrowing. She still thinks I’m screwing around with one of them? Has she seen those girls up close? They’re like the Walking Dead lathered with body glitter and sequins to help them sparkle. Ick.

  We walked into the living room, where everybody was crowded around the television watching some old horror movie, eating pizza right out of the boxes that were stacked high on top of the coffee table. I grabbed a bowl of popcorn and sat across from Grace as she tucked her feet under her on one of the chairs.

  Lea shoved a paper plate of pizza
at her and snarled at her until she took a bite. After she ate half the slice, Lea backed off and sat on Conner’s lap snuggling into him.

  Alex sat next to Grace with a wide smile on his face, directing it right at me. He gave me a wink and leaned over onto Grace’s chair. “I can’t stop myself from thinking about where I might get to sleep tonight. Any chance that you may need some company later?” he whispered loud enough for me to hear. Then the assface turned to look at me again. “Or, is there someone else you would LOVE to spend the night with?” He finished his question by blowing me a kiss. Yeah. I need to rethink my best friends.

  Her eyes widened and she leaned towards him giggling. “No thank you, Alex, you slut,” she said rolling her eyes.

  “I’ll just let you think about it for a while,” he laughed back.

  Then her eyes met and held mine.

  I almost threw myself on her when I watched her suck in her bottom lip. I seriously held onto the seat of the chair so my body wouldn’t fling itself at her; cock first.

  A bright flush of crimson ignited along her cheeks, and all across her chest her skin puckered into tiny goose bumps. Freaking hell, she was thinking the same dirty thoughts as I was.

  She shifted to stretch her legs out in front of her, squeezing her knees together, biting down harder on that little lip. Freaking hell, she was thinking even dirtier thoughts than me.

  Hell yeah.

  Chapter 29

  When the first movie ended and before the next one was popped in the DVD player, Grace hopped out of her seat and grabbed the empty bowls of popcorn that were in front of me. She gave me a little smirk, “You ate all the popcorn.”

  I devoured every inch of her with my stare, from top to bottom, and smiled back at her. “I was…hungry.”

  She stepped closer to me, skimming her knee against mine, “Yeah, you look like you’re starving.”

  I moved forward, leaned my elbows on my knees, gently wrapped my hands around the back of her legs and slowly ran my fingers over her calves. Standing above me, she shivered. “Yes, Grace, I am a starving man.”