Scars and Songs (Mad World)

by Christine Zolendz

  I could swear she nudged my knees open and stood between my legs, or maybe I pulled her closer with my hands, I didn’t know. All I knew is that it took all of my strength NOT to yank her onto my lap so she would be straddling me with my hands fisted in her hair while I licked every bare part of her skin that I could see.

  She glanced at the pizza boxes on the table and said, “You don’t see anything that looks tasty to you?”

  Is she thinking about pizza? Because in my head she’s bent over the coffee table screaming my name…

  I slid my hands up over the back of her knee to her thigh, “Oh, I see something very tasty, Grace. As a matter of fact, my mouth has been watering for a fucking taste of it.”

  A handful of wadded up napkins bounced off my face and I turned towards the direction they flew from. I was seriously in a daze.

  Alex and Tucker were making stupid faces at me. “Hey, there, Shane. How about you let go of Grace so she can make some more popcorn, before I throw up from all the sexual innuendos you two are smacking each other with? How about that, hmm?”

  I let go of her leg.

  Grace giggled and walked into the kitchen with the empty bowls.

  Tucker reached out and punched me in the shoulder. “There is no way that Grace Taylor is going to let you taste her, you stupid whore. I’m going to be the one to cash in that V-card. I have everything to offer her, like a future. You, just have a stupid guitar and a bone room.” He stood up and started walking for the kitchen.

  Alex and Ethan burst out with heavy laughter. Ethan threw a crumbled paper plate at him. “Tuck, you don’t have a chance!”

  “Yeah, bro. She already has a pussy in her pants, she don’t need another one trying to climb in there to cash in her V-card. Besides, the amount of alcohol Grace would have to drink to sleep with you would probably kill her, then you’d have to do a corpse,” Alex teased him.

  “Shut up! Fuck you guys, I’m tapping that ass no matter what, live or dead. That’s what a curling iron is really for anyway.” Tucker yelled as he entered the kitchen.

  Alex gagged, “That’s what a curling iron is for? Dude, that’s messed up, he’s thought about this scenario before, eww. Don’t let him talk to her. Just don’t.”

  Everybody looked at me. Everybody.

  “What?” I asked confused.

  Alex pointed to the kitchen, “You’re going to let him corner her in the kitchen? The idiot is probably in there with his junk out, a resume, and all his stock portfolios, trying to talk her into marrying him. Curling iron in hand; just in case.”

  Everybody was still looking at me.

  I stood up and stretched. “I’m not worried about Tucker. She wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.” But, I walked into the kitchen after him anyway. I am such a caveman.

  Alex chuckled low, “Now he’s got me imagining Grace grinding herself around a ten foot pole.”

  I heard Lea smack him then ask, “What’s the curling iron for?”

  “To warm up the corpse,” Alex chuckled back. I heard the sounds of Lea smacking him again as he yelled, “Tucker said it, not me!”

  In the kitchen, Tucker was leaning up against the countertop holding two bottles of soda while Grace’s back was facing him as she watched the microwave popcorn pop. She was tapping her foot restlessly on the floor.

  Before I could make myself seen, Tucker started with his bullshit, “So, have you done anything about that little problem of yours?”

  “What problem would that be, Tucker?” she asked, not even bothering to turn around and look at him.

  “You being a virgin,” he whispered moving closer to her.

  “See, Tucker, that’s where you and I have a difference of opinion. I don’t see that as a problem. My problem is that I have arrogant assholes who think they are good enough for me to hand it to them in exchange for a stupid dinner of disgusting sushi and expensive champagne,” she snapped back at him.

  He inched even closer to her, “If you’re looking for Mr. Right, Grace, I’m right here.”

  “Are your parents siblings?” I asked. I have, in the past, asked Tucker that same question.

  “You’re so adorable when you act all tough like that. Have you given any thought to working for me? I know your medical bills must be crazy with you not working, let me help you out and come work for me as my personal assistant. We can have lunch breaks together, alone, in my office every day.” He slithered closer. “I know how to please a woman, Grace.” If he gets any closer, I’m breaking off his dick, and then shove a curling iron down his throat.

  “Then please leave me alone,” she answered.

  “Okay, okay. No naked times during lunch breaks, but seriously, come work for me, get to know me better. You won’t regret it.”

  “Were you dropped on your head as a baby or did your mother just throw you against a wall?”

  “Grace, you’re so beautiful I just want to kiss you right now.” He stalked closer to her and she balled her hands into fists ready to punch him.

  But I couldn’t let him touch her. “That’s enough, Tucker, leave her alone,” I cut in between them. “You just don’t know when to quit while you’re ahead, do you?”

  Tucker’s eyes widened, “Dude, I’m trying to help her,” he jabbed his index finger at Grace. “She’s the most unemployed person I know and I was trying to help her out by offering her a job.”

  I stepped right in front of him and folded my arms over my chest. “And don’t forget offering naked lunch breaks in your office.” I leaned so close to him our noses almost touched and whispered, “Leave her alone. She’s mine.”

  Tucker’s face turned bright red and he stormed out of the kitchen. “You can’t have all the beautiful girls, Shane, it’s not fair. I’m going out to the bar to hang out with Bliss; you guys are boring the shit out of me!”

  I looked at Grace and chuckled, “Oh, and to answer your question, I think his mother definitely threw him against the wall. I fucking love that your hands are balled into fists about to bash his face in.” I grabbed the soda that Tucker left and helped her take the rest of the crap back into the living room.

  After the next horror movie, which I didn’t even watch because I was too enthralled with staring at Grace, completely zoned out in a fantasy about her being handcuffed to my headboard during the whole movie, she ran to the bathroom. The movies must have been getting to her, because she came back immediately and asked if Lea could go in with her. How freaking adorable was that?

  Even more adorable was when she fell asleep curled up like a little lost kitten on the chair. I got teased mercilessly by everyone when I placed a blanket over her and gently kissed her forehead. Screw it, they all knew I was in love with her.

  The teasing continued the whole next day too, especially after her surprise delivery of brand new bedroom furniture, but I didn’t pay any attention to it. I just spent my time watching her. Everything she did amazed me; from the way she ate to her reaction to guys picking her up at Boozer’s that night. Yeah, I watched her. Watched, and waited. Waited until she realized she was mine.

  She stood against the bar next to Lea with some spiky haired fucknut pacing in front of her like she was his next snack. He stared at her tits as he tried to talk to her. I laughed loudly, because all she did was fix her eyes on me through the crowd and smiled. Maybe she was getting to the point where she was realizing how I really felt and how she really felt about me. But just in case she hadn’t figured her feelings out yet, I made my way over to them to tell him to fuck off. Nicely.

  I slid in between Grace and Mr. Fucknut. Nicely. I even smiled at him. It was even genuine. Then I politely pushed him away from her with my index finger. “Move away. Now,” I said. Grace gave a little gasp, but I didn’t look at her to see whether or not it was from anger or astonishment.

  Mr. Fucknut’s eyes widened as he looked up at me. He was so damn drunk that he might have pissed himself. I wasn’t sure, so let’s just say he did because I’m that a
wesome. “I…I…was just trying to…” he stammered.

  Just in case Grace hadn’t figured her shit out yet, I looked at Fucknut and said, “MINE. Now move away.” Yeah, I flicked him with my thumb and middle finger, so?

  The drunken idiot raised both his hands into the air in surrender and squeezed his eyes shut. “Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean any disrespect but your girl’s really hot.” He stumbled away and introduced his face to the cold hard floor a few feet away. His friends gathered around him hooting and hollering. Jackhats.

  I felt a light tug on my tee shirt and I turned towards Grace. Her long dark lashes lifted, revealing those heart-stopping eyes to me, her cheeks flushed pink and her smile almost took my fucking legs out from underneath me. Hell yeah, she was beginning to figure out she belonged with me.

  I leaned my head down to take her lips, when the most horrible screeching sound violated my ears. “Shane!” Bliss shrieked, shoving her body between us, grabbing both my arms in her claws. “Babe, I need you right now,” she said trying to tug me away. I shook my head, and then looked behind her. Ethan was standing near the back hallway waving to me frantically. Damn, what the hell happened now?

  Leaning back towards Grace, as Bliss pulled me forward, I brushed my lips against her ear, “I’ll be right back.”

  Bliss dragged me across the floor towards Ethan, who took me into one of the back rooms, where Bliss’s guitar lay on the floor, smashed into pieces. She stood next to me, giggling.

  Damn, I wanted to be any place but back there with them. Shaking my head, I leaned back and crossed my arms. “Did you do this shit on purpose?”

  Bliss giggled.

  I moved closer to her and noticed small clumps of white shit around her nose, and the outsides of her nostrils were red and raw. “Are you fucking KIDDING ME?”

  Bliss continued to giggle. “Guess you gotta play with me now, Shane,” she cooed grabbing for my hand.

  Hell no! I jerked my hands away from her and stepped back.

  Ethan picked up the pieces of the shattered guitar in his hands and threw it against the wall. “I don’t know about you, Shane, but I’ve just about had it with all this shit. After this weekend, Vixen4 is no longer welcome here. Not until they clean themselves up.”

  Bliss stopped giggling and looked back and forth at the both of us. “You’re not going to do that to us.” She turned her gaze on Ethan, “Don’t you remember how close we all used to be? Ethan! Don’t you remember how close ME AND YOU were? We had a serious relationship!”

  “I was nineteen and drunk the entire time, Bliss, and you dumped my sorry ass for one of your roadies. Three days is not a relationship. Get over it. And get some help.” Ethan stormed towards the door and held it open for me.

  “Shane!” Bliss stomped her feet as I walked towards Ethan. “Shane, come on. All I want is to play with you and spend the weekend with you. You used to be fun!”

  I nodded my head toward the lockers along the back wall. “There’s a few bar guitars in the lockers, Bliss. You’re more than welcomed to play one of them tonight, but Ethan’s right. Don’t come back here unless you’re clean. Finish the weekend, and then don’t bother us anymore.”

  We left her there with her mouth wide open.

  Walking back into the crowded noisy bar, Ethan nudged my elbow. “Sorry I bothered you with that shit, but she doesn’t listen to anyone but you. And I didn’t mean to take you away from Grace.”

  “No worries, bro, I just hope Grace doesn’t think I took Bliss into the back room to mess with her.”

  Ethan chuckled, “I’ll set her straight when I see her. Hey, do you think Bliss and the girls are gonna be okay?”

  I looked back at him and smiled, “Ethan, Bliss is so high she probably forgot the whole conversation already. She’ll be trying to do body shots off Alex later and give Tucker a lap dance. Just like always.”

  He clapped me on the back when we reached the bar. Grace was facing away from the crowd throwing back a shot and slamming it down hard against the counter. Oh, she’s pissed off.

  “Damn, what did that shot glass ever do to you?” I asked as I walked up next to her, placing my hand on her lower back.

  My hand was yanked away by a screaming Bliss. “No one walks away from me, Shane! You know you want this as much as I do!”

  “Ew, Shane,” Grace said pointing at Bliss’s snarling mouth. “Was your dick just in that?”

  I laughed. “Definitely not.”

  Bliss slid her hands up my chest and a disgusting wave of nausea churned in my stomach, burned at my throat and threatened to pour itself out. “Don’t lie, Shane. Let’s go back there and finish what you started,” the words exploded like acid from her mouth.

  I yanked her hands off my chest and threw them down. “Why don’t you stop lying and go get ready for your show. And stop the junk you’re shoving up your nose too. You’re driving us all crazy.”

  Bliss’s bloodshot eyes bore into mine and she shoved me with both her hands. I laughed, and she stomped away when she didn’t get the reaction she was looking for.

  Grace gently bumped me with her shoulder and slid me a shot glass full of whiskey. “Wow, what did you do to her that got her so angry with you?”

  Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes at her and drank my shot, “It’s not what I did, Grace, it’s what I wouldn’t do with her.”

  Gulping back her drink, her eyes locked onto mine, “Shane Maxton saying no to a girl, isn’t that unheard of? She’s pretty hot, Shane, what gives?” She stood up, never breaking eye contact with me. Her hands clenched at her sides, ready to start a fight with me.

  “She’s not you,” I whispered, looking right into her eyes. I leaned my body against hers and slid my arms around her tiny waist. “Grace, I still have the taste of you on my tongue and the feel of your body in my arms. You’re not easy to get off my mind. As a matter of fact, I haven’t thought about anything else since I first laid my eyes on you.”

  She wriggled out of my arms and stepped away, shaking her head at me.

  “No matter what I say, Grace, you’ll never believe in me. You’ll never know the real me.” I dropped my hands heavily against my sides and walked away backwards. “Grace, open your fucking eyes and see who I really am. Damn it, Grace.” I was a few feet away from her now, still moving back. “I need you to see me for who I really am…I need you to take me as is, accept me, with all my flaws and all my fucking sins.”

  I lost myself in the sea of people surrounding the stage and smiled when Vixen4 started playing their first song. Bliss was up on stage. Of course, she chose my fucking guitar to play, probably her way of saying fuck you to me. Whatever. I really could not have cared any less.

  Alex swung his arm around me and pulled me to a table with two pretty blonde haired girls impatiently sitting there waiting for him, tapping their long pink dragon claws on the table. Gah.

  “Shane, you have to hear what these two beautiful ladies are saying about us.” When we returned to the table, Alex’s arm still around my neck, both girls gave us pouty faces and left without a word. Just walked away, shaking their heads and mumbling about perfect couples.

  I gave Alex a questioning look as I sat down, “Want to let me in on the joke?”

  He sat down across from me arms folded. “Dude, I don’t know whether to be angry or awed right now.” Then the dumb ass stared at the table not saying anything.

  “Alex, just tell me what’s going on. I don’t have time for this.”

  Alex nodded his head up and down, still staring at the tabletop.

  I huffed out a huge breath. “Dude, you just got here, you can’t be drunk already.”

  He held up his index finger and then lifted his head to look at me. “Did you see those two hot blondes?”

  “Yeah,” I said rolling my eyes.

  Alex pursed his lips. “They just had a conversation with Grace, Lea and that hot waitress Mollie.” He placed his hands flat on the tabletop. “It seems that those three lovel
y ladies told the two blondes that they shouldn’t bother trying to get with you and me tonight because we,” he looked at me seriously and pointed back and forth between us, to make his point clear. “We, meaning you and I, are in a serious relationship.” He folded his arms and exhaled loudly. “Now my question to you is why would this be said of us?”

  Leaning in, my heart seemed to freeze. Grace was chasing off other girls. “Alex,” I smiled so damn wide it felt like my face would crack in half, I couldn’t help it. “Alex, they were chasing the girls away.”

  “Interesting,” he smirked. “Why would I be involved in that scenario unless one of them was interested in me? Hmmm. Think I got a shot with Grace?” he teased.

  I kicked him under the table. “I think you got a better shot in a relationship with me,” I laughed. “Dude, you have to see how Mollie looks at you, you’d be blind not to.”

  “Very interesting,” he chuckled.

  Ethan collapsed into the chair next to me and patted my back. “What’s up, gentleman?” He turned his eyes to me and leaned forward. “You need to kiss my big white ass, Shane. I just talked to Grace about you. Poor thing thought you had left her to go back stage to hook up with Bliss.” He shook my shoulder with his hand, “Don’t worry, bro, I set her straight. You know, Shane, she’s fucking crazy about you. Just saying. Whatever you do with that information is up to you. But, you know, if you hurt her, it’s a slow death.”

  “Ahhh. That’s so hot,” Alex murmured looking past us into the crowd. Grace, Lea and Mollie were dancing with Ryan. The fuck had his hands on Grace.

  “I’m going to kill that bartender,” I said.

  “Yeah, let me know if that gets you the girl, douche rocket. I’m going try it this way.” Alex chuckled as he jumped on top of the table, crawled across it, jumped off it, walked into the dancing crowd and grabbed hold of Mollie’s waist. Dumbass.

  Ethan and I walked past the dancing crowd, ordered two beers at the bar and watched Alex make a fool out of himself with Mollie. For a guy who was as musically talented as Alex was, he sure as shit couldn’t dance. He just stood behind Mollie, arms raised out to the side and did the airplane. With duck lips.