by Ann McMan
At least tonight when she rolled in late, she wouldn’t face the wrath of Syd. There was a library board meeting this evening and they’d agreed ahead of time to grab dinner together in town before heading back to the farm. Henry was at home watching a movie and eating a “TV dinner” with his beloved Gramma C. Maddie’s mother had discovered some retro, divided-compartment dinnerware while scouring around in an antique store looking for vintage drawer pulls. The plates were ceramic reproductions of the ubiquitous aluminum meal trays that took the nation by storm back in the mid-1950s. It was amazing what Celine could coerce Henry to eat if the moveable feast was served up on an iconic monument to television.
In retrospect, it was hard to blame Henry for being an unwitting victim of the ruse. Even she had to admit that four tiny flowerets of broccoli did look less daunting when they were encased in their own small compartment.
But tonight, she was holding out for Waffle House. A big plate of smothered, covered and chunked hash browns sounded like ambrosia to her.
Fat chance on that one . . . no pun intended.
Syd was still enjoying her tenure as cruise director on Maddie’s dietary hell tour of the Pritikin Islands.
She’d been entering patient data into their records system for about an hour when she heard the voices. The sound surprised her because she assumed that everyone else had left shortly after the clinic closed at five. One of the voices belonged to Lizzy. She couldn’t make out the other until the voices grew louder. Then she recognized it.
Lizzy was having an argument. With Syd’s brother.
Maddie sat back and closed her eyes.
They could only be arguing about one thing. Which must mean that Lizzy had decided to tell Tom about her pregnancy.
At least, she hoped that’s what it meant.
Maddie could hear them clearly now. They’d left Lizzy’s office and were headed toward the back door of the clinic.
“I can’t believe you’d keep something like this from me.”
Tom’s voice.Maddie wondered if she could climb out a window?
“I told you. I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.”
Lizzy’s voice.She sounded exasperated—and angry.
“Well, when the hell did you think you would be ready? After the baby got here?”
Bad approach, man. Conciliation would get you a lot further.
“You know, Tom. It’s really none of your business.”
“None of my business? How dare you. It’s totally my business.”
Maddie didn’t have to see Lizzy’s face to imagine her next response.
“Tom? It’s not your business. It’s not your body. It’s my body—and it’s my decision.”
“You can’t just shut me out of this.”
Oh, yes she can . . .
“Oh, yes I can. You’ve made your position on the future perfectly clear.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you’ve gone out of your way to demonstrate that you have no interest in making any kind of long-term commitment to me. So why should I expect you to make any commitment to a child?”
Here it comes.
“Look. I’m Catholic, okay? These choices aren’t so easy for me.”
Oh, man. I should just give you a shovel so you can dig yourself in deeper . . .
“I cannot even believe you’d say something that selfish and insensitive to me.”
“Insensitive? What was insensitive about me being honest and sharing my beliefs with you?”
You might have to pull up a chair for this one.
“Do you want a list? If so, you’ll have to sit down because it’ll take a while.”
Maddie stared at the back of her door with an open mouth. Why did people say she sucked at serious conversations? So far, her handicapping of this one was right on the money.
But Lizzy wasn’t through yet.
“You know, Tom? You might want to pay attention to the fact that you haven’t mentioned your feelings for me one time in this entire conversation. Nor have you bothered to ask me what my feelings are, or even how I’m doing—not just with the news but with the physical aspects of being . . . pregnant. And in case you’re interested, I’m not doing great. So, unless you want to wear what I had for lunch, I suggest you get the hell out of here. This conversation is over.”
Maddie heard the clinic door being unlocked.
“Are you kicking me out?” Tom sounded incredulous.
Sounds like a big 10-4 to me.
“Bingo.”
“Fine.” Tom sounded angry now. “You know how to reach me if you change your mind.”
Don’t hold your breath.
“I wouldn’t hold my breath on that one. Goodbye, Tom.”
The door slammed shut. She could hear Lizzy’s footsteps retreat along the hallway that led to the clinic.
Maddie deliberated. Should she open the door and let Lizzy know she was there? Or should she follow her instinct and hide beneath her desk until she was sure Lizzy was gone, too?
It was a toss-up.
She didn’t get much time to weigh her options. The footsteps stopped outside her door.
“Maddie?” Lizzy knocked gently on her door. “Are you still in there?”
Maddie cast a futile glance toward heaven.
“Maddie?” Lizzy knocked again. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah.” Maddie stood up and walked toward the door. “Of course. Come on in.”
She didn’t know what to expect when she opened the door and saw Lizzy. Tears, maybe? A face flushed with anger and disappointment? But Lizzy appeared to be neither of those things. If anything, she looked . . . relieved.
“I assume you overheard all of that?” Lizzy dropped into a chair.
“I did. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Lizzy waved a tired hand. “He’s an asshat.”
“He’s . . .” Maddie wasn’t sure she’d heard Lizzy correctly. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I said he’s an asshat. First quality. A selfish and self-absorbed little shit.” She ran a hand across her forehead. “Do you have anything to drink in this place?”
“Um. If you mean alcoholic, no. Besides, that isn’t advisable for someone in your . . . um. Well. I wouldn’t recommend it for you right now.”
Lizzy stared at her for a moment. Then she gave a short, bitter-sounding laugh.
“I guess you’re right, doctor. No booze until I make a decision.”
“Better safe than sorry. There’s too much going on with your system right now.”
“Yeah. Not only my system. My mind’s pretty much on sensory overload these days, too.”
“I’m sorry about that. I know it can’t be easy to be facing this alone.”
“Well.” Lizzy sounded resigned. And tired. “Tom is actually making this easier, not harder.”
“How so?” Maddie perched on the edge of her desk.
Lizzy squinted at her. “You did say you heard our conversation, right?”
Maddie nodded. “Mostly.”
“I reiterate. Tom is making this decision easier.”
Maddie felt an impulse to agree with Lizzy. But she couldn’t. She knew Tom, and she knew how much Tom genuinely cared about Lizzy. He was guilty of being immature, clueless and probably scared—but not much more. She was sure about that.
“Look,” she said. “You know I’m usually the last person on the planet to butt into the middle of anyone else’s life, right?”
“But in this case, you’ll make an exception?” Lizzy asked.
“Sort of. I know Tom Murphy. And I wholly agree with you that he’s got some growing up to do. It’s true that he reacted like a selfish frat boy and you’re right to hold him accountable for that. But I’d be remiss not to remind you that he’s a decent guy with a big heart. His feelings are probably just hurt that you waited so long to tell him.”
“Tell him?” Lizzy gave Maddie a surprised look. “I didn’t tell him.”
>
“You didn’t?” Maddie was confused. “Who did?”
“Syd.”
“Syd?”
“I thought you knew that.”
Maddie was speechless. She slowly shook her head.
“Oh, man. You didn’t know that? I just assumed . . .”
“I didn’t . . .” Maddie struggled to make sense of Lizzy’s revelation. “I didn’t tell her. She was fretting about how upset Tom was about your relationship. He went to see her at the library and tried to enlist her to talk with you—to find out what the problem was. She asked me for insight. I didn’t tell her anything. But she just kept pressing and asking me if I had any idea what was going on with you.” Maddie shook her head. “She figured it out on her own. Of course.” She gave Lizzy an apologetic look. “I’ve always been lousy at hiding things from her. I am truly sorry.”
“It’s okay. Really.” Lizzy held up a hand to stop Maddie’s mea culpa. “Once I had time to get over my initial anger, I was actually relieved to find out he knew. It was past time for me to stop licking my wounds and behaving like a complete chickenshit.” She touched Maddie on the knee. “Don’t grow a tumor over this, okay? I’m not mad.”
“You sure?”
Lizzy nodded and got to her feet. “And I promise to consider what you said about Tom. But it won’t be tonight. All I want right now is to crawl in bed with a box of saltines.”
Maddie smiled at her. “You’ll call if you need anything?”
“Girl Scout’s honor.” Lizzy rolled her eyes. “Well that oath kinda falls flat given my circumstances.”
“At least your sense of humor hasn’t deserted you.”
“True. And don’t let yours desert you either.”
“Mine?”
“Yeah. Yours. Take it easy on Syd. She was trying to do the right thing.”
Maddie sighed. “I’ll try.”
The phone on Maddie’s desk rang. Maddie glanced at the caller I.D.
“It’s Syd.”
“Go ahead and take it.” Lizzy waved at her. “I’m outta here. And remember what I said, okay?”
“I’ll do my best.”
Maddie watched her go.
The phone kept ringing. She stared at it.
Lizzy said she wasn’t angry about Syd’s interference.
The phone rang again.
She said she’d already dealt with it.
Another ring.
I guess it’s my turn, now.
◊ ◊ ◊
Maddie was already seated in her regular booth at Waffle House and was halfway through her first mug of coffee when she saw Syd’s battered Volvo rattle its way into a parking space.
The coffee was hitting the spot. Her young server, Coralee Minor, had started brewing a fresh pot of decaf as soon as she saw Maddie’s Jeep pull into the lot. They had an understanding. Coralee made sure the coffee was always hot and plentiful—and she never divulged to Syd that Maddie contrived to sneak into the short order joint at least once a week for lunch.
Maddie watched Syd walk toward the entrance to the restaurant. It was a new experience to see her and feel a sharp pang of trepidation poke at her insides. Reactions like that evaporated years ago when they finally wised up and quit denying their attraction for each other. But this?
This was something different.
She was angry at Syd for betraying a confidence. That had never happened before. And it was bigger than Maddie’s personal sense of betrayal. In this case, it was a HIPAA violation, too. One that, under other circumstances, could get her sued for malpractice. Of course, that wouldn’t happen with Lizzy, but it didn’t diminish the seriousness of Syd’s inappropriate decision to tell her brother about Lizzy’s pregnancy. Nor did it excuse Maddie for her personal breach of ethics when she confirmed Syd’s suspicion about what lay behind the estrangement between Tom and Lizzy.
It was a mess all the way around. They both were culpable. And even though Lizzy had made it clear that she was no longer upset about the interference, it was still a problem—one they needed to address. Now.
Syd waved at Coralee on her way to Maddie’s booth.
“Hey, Miss Murphy.” Coralee held up the coffee pot. “Want some decaf?”
“I’d love some. Thanks, Coralee.”
She deposited her bag on the padded seat before sliding in to sit opposite Maddie.
“Hi there.”
“Hi.”
Syd noticed her unsettled demeanor right away. “What’s wrong?” She squinted her eyes. “Why do you look like something Rosebud dragged into the barn?”
Maddie saw no reason to forestall the discussion.
“Tom came by the clinic this evening.”
Syd dropped back against the booth. “Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes. I take it you spoke with him about Lizzy’s predicament?”
Syd closed her eyes and nodded.
Coralee appeared with the pot of coffee. She filled Syd’s mug and topped Maddie’s off.
“Do you folks need a minute before you order?”
“That’d be great, Coralee,” Maddie replied. “Thanks.”
Coralee smiled and walked on. Syd watched her until she was out of earshot.
“Are you angry?”
Maddie nodded.
“I’m sorry. Truly sorry.”
“I hope you are.” Maddie tore open two packets of sugar and prepared to add it to her coffee.
Syd reflexively reached out to stop her, but seemed to think better of it. She withdrew her hand.
“Maddie? I am sorry. It was wrong of me to break your confidence.”
“It wasn’t just my confidence you breached, Syd. Lizzy trusted me with that information—not just as a friend, but as a healthcare professional. When you figured it out and I didn’t deny it, I broke the law.”
“Oh, god. I never even thought about that.” She hesitated. “Is Lizzy angry?”
“At me or at you?”
“Yes.”
As frustrated as she was, Maddie still had to fight an impulse to smile. “She was, but she isn’t, now. She said you actually did her a favor by telling him.”
“I kind of doubt that.”
“Why did you do it, Syd? I’ve thought about this six ways from Sunday and I still can’t figure it out. It’s not like you.”
Syd was absently shifting her coffee mug back and forth between her hands.
“It’s hard to explain. Tom is my little brother. And even though he makes me crazy, I still feel responsible for him. I love him, and I don’t want to see him get hurt. Lizzy is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. I didn’t want him to mess it up.” She sighed. “I knew as soon as I told him that it was a big mistake. I never should have done it. I owe Lizzy a huge apology.” She reached across the table to touch Maddie’s hand. “I owe you one, too.”
“You didn’t think it was a mistake until you told him?”
“Of course not. I knew it was wrong and that I had no right to share the information. I just . . .” She slowly shook her head. “I just made a bad decision. And even though it might seem disingenuous now, I was going to tell you about it tonight.”
Maddie didn’t reply.
Syd squeezed the top of her hand. “Do you believe me?”
Maddie nodded. “But I’m still disappointed, Syd.”
“I know you are. I’m disappointed in myself.”
“We’re both lucky that Lizzy isn’t more bent out of shape about it.”
“Did you see Tom?”
“No. But I did overhear their conversation—unintentionally.”
Syd looked perplexed.
“They were arguing in the corridor outside my office,” Maddie clarified.
“Arguing?”
“Yeah. Loudly.”
“Oh, no.”
“I didn’t want to overhear it, believe me. But it was unavoidable. Lizzy appeared to know I was still there, too. But it didn’t stop her from unloading on Tom.”
“That can’t be a
good sign.”
“Trust me. He deserved it. He was acting like an ass.”
Syd laughed. “That’s not hard to imagine. Most of the time, he is an ass.”
“Well, he didn’t do himself any favors in this conversation, believe me.”
They were both quiet for a moment.
“Does Lizzy know what she’s going to do?”
Maddie shook her head.
“Tom’s going to blow it. He’s already blowing it. He doesn’t understand that good relationships don’t grow on trees. Windows of opportunity like the one he has now with Lizzy open once in a lifetime. And that’s if you’re lucky.”
“You don’t think he knows that?”
Syd shrugged. “He may know it. But he doesn’t realize that those windows can close just as quickly.”
“He’s not unique in that.”
“No.” She squeezed Maddie’s hand. “But thank god I realized it when you came around.”
Maddie smiled at her. “Are you trying to butter me up?”
“That depends. Is it working?”
Before Maddie could reply, Coralee arrived to see if they were ready to order.
“You bet we are.” Syd handed her the menus. “I’ll have a bowl of chili with a house salad. Italian dressing on the side. She’ll have the chili, too, but over hash browns. Smothered, covered and chunked.”
“Got it.” Coralee sailed off toward the kitchen.
Maddie stared at Syd with what she was sure was a stupid expression.
“What?” Syd asked.
“That whole buttering up thing you’re doing?”
“Yes?” Syd smiled at her. “What about it?”
Maddie picked up her coffee mug.
“It’s working.”
Chapter 5
Syd was halfway through her first cup of coffee when she heard the street door to the branch open.