by Dena Blake
*
Mel stood on Nancy’s doorstep and raised her fist to knock. She’d already gone back to the beach house and collected all of her things. She eyed the unfamiliar Lexus sedan parked in the driveway and realized she should’ve called first. She’d just turned to go back to her car when she heard the door pull open.
“Hey, where ya going?” Nancy must have seen her through the kitchen window.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve called.”
“Don’t be silly. You don’t have to do that.” Nancy swung the door open wide to let her in.
“But…” She glanced back at the car in the driveway.
“Lauren’s in the den working. She’s staying here. We’re trying it out.” Nancy gave her a sheepish grin. “I was just making some tea. You want a cup?”
“Sure. Why didn’t you tell me this morning?” She dropped her purse into a chair in the living room, then followed her into the kitchen and perched on a stool at the breakfast bar.
“I wasn’t quite sure where it was going.” Nancy took another cup from the cupboard and dropped a tea bag in it before filling them all with steaming water.
“And?”
“And it’s going really well. She moved a few things in last week.”
“Wow. How unobservant have I been?” She shook her head as she noticed the changes in the living room. A mix of vibrant throw pillows on the couch and chairs, a pillar candle on the coffee table, and a framed photo of Lauren and Nancy on the entry table. The changes were subtle, but they were there.
“Well, you’ve been wrapped up in your own little fairy tale lately.” Nancy lifted a brow and tilted her head.
“That’s done.”
“What do you mean, done? This morning you were over the moon about her.”
“I broke it off.” Mel couldn’t stop the quiver in her voice.
“But you were so happy. What the hell happened?” Nancy rushed around and threw her arms around her.
“She slept with her.”
“Her ex?”
She nodded “That weekend we were in LA, she slept with her.”
“How do you know that?”
“I went to see her, like we discussed, and Dana told me.” She rubbed her forehead. “It all makes sense now. When we got back from LA, she wouldn’t return my calls. I thought it was because of the pictures with Rick.”
Nancy took her hand, led her into the living room, and sat with her on the couch. “Are you sure it’s true? Did you ask Izzy about it?”
She nodded. “She didn’t deny it.”
“I’m so sorry, Mel. You probably don’t believe this, but I wanted you two to work out. I could see how freaking crazy you were about her.”
“I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I have no claim on Izzy, and it was pretty clear Dana doesn’t have any intention of letting me have any.” By then she was sobbing uncontrollably, doubting the pain in her heart would ever go away. She wasn’t just crazy about Izzy. She was in love with her.
“Oh, honey. Come here.” Nancy pulled her in close.
“Hey, did you forget about the tea?” The voice became louder as Lauren entered the living room.
“The tea is in the kitchen. Sorry. I got a little sidetracked.” Nancy rubbed Mel’s shoulder. “You remember Mel, don’t you? She’s going to stay with us tonight, okay?”
“Of course.” She pulled her brows together. “Anything I can do?”
“No. Nobody can fix this, but thanks.” Mel sat up, and Nancy handed her a tissue. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and blew her nose.
Lauren headed into the kitchen. “I’ll get the tea. Milk, sugar?”
“Just sugar. Two in mine, one in hers,” Nancy answered.
A few minutes later, Lauren brought in their two cups of tea, then went back to the kitchen to fetch her own. “You want me to call in an order to the Chinese place we had deliver before?”
“That sounds great, honey. The number is on the fridge.”
Mel noticed the sweetness in Nancy’s tone and couldn’t help but smile. She was glad Nancy had finally found someone. She wasn’t going to spoil it with her problems. “I should go.”
“Oh, no, you don’t. You’re staying right here with us.”
Nancy’s cell phone rang on the counter and she got up to answer it. “Hello.”
Mel heard the immediate change in her tone. She was all business. “Yes, she’s here.” Mel caught her gaze as she glanced over at her. It was Izzy. “I’ll tell her. Not that it will help.” She pinched her lips together. “Sure, bye.” She pressed her finger to the phone and slid it back on the counter.
“She wanted to make sure you were all right.” Nancy took Mel’s hand between hers. “I know it doesn’t help, but she also said she’s sorry.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t help.”
The conversation was sparse during dinner, and Mel barely touched her noodles. Lauren and Nancy cleared the dishes while Mel went out to her car and got her bag. When she came back in Nancy was sitting on the couch, and Lauren was sitting in the chair adjacent to it. Mel put her bag in Nancy’s spare room and came back out to the living room. Nancy patted the spot next to her.
“We were just talking in the kitchen about what happened and well…we realized that was the weekend when Lauren and I first met, right?”
“Right.”
“Lauren overheard us talking and gave me her card.” Nancy glanced over her shoulder at Lauren and gave her a soft smile.
Lauren picked up where Nancy left off. “You were talking about your husband possibly blocking your divorce, I believe.” The attorney in Lauren came out. “You were still married at that time, and technically, you and Izzy weren’t even together yet. Correct?”
Mel nodded.
Nancy’s gaze floated around the room as she seemed to search for the right words before locking her gaze back on Mel’s. “So do you really think you should hold that against her?”
“Before I left, she told me she wanted to be with me.”
“But you left…and then after we got back, you kind of fixed her up with me.” Nancy turned to Lauren, who’d raised her brows. “It was purely platonic. I knew they were in love. I just had to make her feel it,” she added quickly.
“She should’ve told me.” Mel pushed the words out softly. “I shouldn’t have had to hear it from Dana.” I’m talking about trust here.
“Yes, she should have.” Nancy patted her on the thigh. “But please think about it before you write her off. I’ve never seen you as happy with anyone as you were with her.”
Nancy was right. She had left her standing there in the alley, heart in hand, slashed raw and bloodied in a million pieces. How can I hold anything against her after that?
Chapter Twenty-four
Close to a month had gone by in what seemed like a millisecond. Fall had moved out as quickly as winter had swept in with deluges of rain, bringing the long-missed blanket of green back to the dried, brown mountains of Marin County. The days had been dark, painful, and lonely, only reminding Izzy of what she wanted in her life but couldn’t manage to capture. She didn’t know if it was her loneliness getting to her or sheer fatigue.
She’d gone all in at the restaurant, earning herself a Best Chef, West Region nomination by the James Beard Foundation. The JBF Awards were the Oscars of cooking, and business had been off the charts since the announcement. Gio had moved into a full-time chef position, and they’d had to hire a couple of new sous chefs and wait staff to keep up.
When she’d received the card of congratulations from Mel, even though it was purely professional, her heart constricted a bit. Unable to throw it away, Izzy had filed it under a stack of books in the bookcase. She didn’t have time to think about what she’d lost or speculate on what she could’ve had with Mel. But with the one thing she wanted most in life out of reach, the award felt meaningless.
Izzy was now the chef she’d always dreamed of being, but outside of the restaurant and
her family, she had nothing else to show for it except pure exhaustion, which was what she needed. She didn’t have time to dwell on what she was missing, to acknowledge she had no one to come home to, no one to share it with. No time to miss the woman with whom she’d fallen hopelessly in love.
Izzy rolled over and cringed at the red numbers on the clock. It was finally almost seven. She’d woken many times during the night, just as she had every night since Mel left. She fixed her gaze on the AC/DC T-shirt lying wadded in the corner of the chair. She’d thought she’d gotten rid of all the reminders. She’d even bought new sheets and a new down comforter. Twisting to get out of the tangled sheets, she reached over, picked up the shirt, and pressed it to her nose. Mel’s faint scent still lingered in the cotton. Tears flooded her eyes. “Damn it, Izzy.” This was exactly why she avoided getting this close to anyone. Getting emotionally involved with someone only set her up to get hurt, and this time the pain was excruciating.
Tossing the shirt back onto the chair, Izzy made her way to the kitchen. She glanced at the coffeemaker in the corner and took the French press from the drain board. Even though she wasn’t using it, she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of such a nice piece of kitchen equipment, no matter who had given it to her.
Izzy knew it was over. Even though she’d called Mel a number of times, Mel had never answered and hadn’t returned her calls. She wouldn’t beg. If Mel couldn’t find it within herself to forgive her, Izzy would leave her alone.
*
Mel arranged various vases with flowers around the house. Nancy and Lauren were having their first party together, and soon women of every kind would be roaming the house and backyard. They both thought it would be a good way to get Mel back into socializing. But Mel had no desire to socialize, especially with single women. It had been weeks since she’d seen Izzy, and from what she’d read, Izzy had gone on famously without her. Mel had seen the nomination for the James Beard Foundation and was sure Izzy was too busy to miss her. When she’d read the announcement, Mel had wanted to go straight to the restaurant, take her in her arms, and tell her how proud she was of her. She’d actually found herself taking a detour now and then past Bella’s on her way home. The parking lot was always packed. She’d thought twice about sending the card but knew she should do something to acknowledge the accomplishment. She’d burned through a full box of cards trying to keep her message warm yet impersonal.
She heard the doorbell ring. “You want me to get that?”
“Would you mind? It’s probably the food,” Nancy shouted from the kitchen.
Mel pulled open the door and let it thud loudly against the wall behind it. “What are you doing here?”
Dana stepped back. “You ordered food from Gustoso?” She lifted the bags she was holding.
Mel left her standing on the porch and went to the kitchen. “You ordered food from Gustoso?”
“Yeah. They’re one of our clients.”
“Since when?”
“It’s the nouveau Italian place I told you about.”
“What the fuck, Nancy. That’s Dana’s restaurant.”
Her eyes went wide. “Oh, shit. I didn’t know.”
“Where do you want the food?” Nancy heard the voice from behind Mel and peeked over her shoulder.
“On the counter is fine.” She slid open the screen door to the backyard and pulled Mel out on the deck. “Lauren, honey, Mel’s going to help you out here while I take care of the caterer.”
The old wooden ladder squeaked as Lauren turned. “Not necessary. I’m almost done.” She hooked the wire of the light string around the hook hanging from the corner of the arbor.
“I’m sure you can find something for her to do for a few minutes.” Nancy pulled the glass door closed as she stepped back inside.
“What the hell was that all about?”
“Izzy’s ex.” Mel’s voice faltered. “She’s the caterer.”
The ladder wobbled as Lauren jumped from the third step down to the redwood deck. “Seriously?”
Mel only nodded, feeling choked by emotions she thought she’d finally started to overcome.
Lauren peeked through the glass door into the kitchen. “She’s nothing special.”
“I know how attractive she is. Thanks for trying.” She glanced back at the house and caught Dana’s outline through the glass door. She squeezed her eyes closed.
“Probably just a good lay.” Lauren folded the ladder up. “I could use some help moving a few of the chairs out under the tree.” She motioned her over to a pile of folded chairs leaning against the house. “Be careful. The yard is still kind of squishy from the rain. I’m really glad it cleared out, so people can actually come out here tonight if it gets too hot inside.”
It had been raining for days but had finally let up early this morning. The gloominess had matched Mel’s mood; she wasn’t sure if she was ready for sunshine yet.
*
The table decorations were beautiful. Flowers and candles were dotted in between the various trays of pasta, vegetables, and appetizers. At the end of the table stood a wide variety of red and white wines. Mel had already had a few glasses of the latter.
Mel watched Lauren put a spoonful of vegetable gnocchi onto her plate. The food was different than Bella’s, but it wasn’t half bad. Enjoying it felt like a betrayal.
Lauren bumped Mel’s shoulder. “You should eat something. The food’s pretty good.”
“I know. I tried it. Eating it just feels wrong.”
“Are you ever going back to Bella’s?”
Mel didn’t answer.
“You’re the only one stopping you.” Lauren put down her plate, poured herself a glass of wine, and refilled Mel’s glass.
“I’m just not there yet.” She glanced around the living room, which was scattered with single women. I’m not there yet either.
“You’re considering it?”
She nodded. “I miss her.”
One of the women joined them at the table. She poured herself a glass of wine and nudged Lauren. “Are you going to introduce me?”
Lauren glanced back and forth between them, then cleared her throat. “Sure. Mel, this is Erin. She’s one of the attorneys at my firm.”
“Hi.” She stuck out her hand. “Nice to meet you, Mel.” Her sparkling amber eyes squinted as she smiled. She reached up and tucked a strand of her shoulder-length blond hair behind her ear. Erin was nothing short of gorgeous.
Mel took her hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you too.”
Nancy popped in next to Lauren. “Honey, can you help me for a minute in the kitchen?”
“I can help you,” Mel offered.
“I think we can handle it.” Nancy pulled Lauren away, ignoring the daggers Mel shot at her.
Erin immediately slipped into the spot Lauren had vacated. She leaned close and started probing Mel about her work. The woman had a beautiful smile and smelled like a mix of citrus and ginger. Mel gulped her wine. “You want to go out back? The sky is clear tonight.”
“Sure.” They stepped out the door and moved to the edge of the deck.
“What kind of law do you practice?” Mel asked as she leaned up against the pergola post. She remembered hearing Erin say something about corporate accounts, and then Mel zoned out, immersing herself in the beauty of the night sky. The Harvest Moon was long gone, and the Frosty Moon had taken its place. It was almost pink, the warm redness of the previous full moon fading into the cool, dreary season. She’d never thought much about the stars or the moon before she’d met Izzy, but that part of her life was over. She’d have to find the beauty in the stars on her own. A soft breeze crossed her shoulders, and she shivered.
“Are you cold?” She heard the voice faintly and emerged from her thoughts to find Erin watching her intently. “Take my jacket.” She started to pull it off.
“No, I’m fine.” She rubbed her shoulders and glanced back up at the moonlit sky, then back at Erin. She didn’t want to feel warm and ti
ngly right now.
“What are you thinking?” Erin asked.
“I was thinking how beautiful the stars are tonight.” She gazed back up at the flickering diamonds in the sky. “Have you ever thought about the peaceful clarity they bring when you look at them?”
“Not really, but I have been thinking about how beautiful you are.”
She felt Erin’s fingers trail down her neck and shifted her gaze to meet her amber eyes. Then Erin’s mouth was on hers. She hesitated at first but thought, what the hell? She had to start somewhere. She thrust her tongue deep inside, probing Erin’s mouth, trying to lose herself in the kiss. She felt Erin’s hands roam up her sides and broke away. Mel zeroed in on her eyes. Brown…not blue. It’s not over yet.
“That was nice,” Erin said.
“It was.” But not nice enough. She smiled softly and held up her glass. “I need a refill.” She rushed into the house, leaving Erin standing outside with a bewildered expression.
*
Nancy felt a tap on her shoulder.
“Um, you have a hysterical woman in your bathtub.”
“What?”
She looked down the hall. “Your friend, the one with the dazzling green eyes.”
Nancy rushed down the hall, threw open the bathroom door, and slid the shower curtain back. Mel was in the tub with her legs dangling over the side. “Jesus, Mel. You couldn’t just go into one of the bedrooms and lie down?” She turned back to the woman who’d found her. “Can you watch her a minute?”
“Sure. I could watch her all night.”
Nancy grabbed Lauren from a group of people and pulled her down the hall. “I need your help with Mel.”
Lauren drew her brows together.
“She’s in the bathroom.”
“Is she sick?”
She pushed past the woman standing by the door. “Not yet.” She turned back to Lauren. “How did she get this drunk?”
Lauren chuckled. “We have a full bar, and you did surround her with single women.”
“I thought she was past this.”