She smiled and reached over to lightly touch my cheek. “You are so much like her and so very much as she described.” She took one last look at the picture I still held and stood. “Perhaps it is time for us to see what her letter has to say.”
I carefully climbed to my feet and followed Miss Serena downstairs. She slid open a set of pocket doors. A moment later, I stepped into a library that had me drooling. All my life, I’d imagined living someplace where I could have my own library. I’d pictured floor to ceiling bookshelves with a ladder on a rail that could be easily moved from one section to another. Leather furniture, well-worn and comfortable. A restful room, meant for peaceful reading and study. A room like this. It was as if Miss Serena had reached into my dreams from so long ago and created this room just for me.
Or, as I realized, my mother had described a room she knew so well and I took it for my own.
Miss Serena ran a hand down my arm and then crossed to the large roll top desk in one corner of the room. As she did, she motioned for me to take a seat on the leather sofa under the window. When she joined me a few moments later, she held a crisp white envelope in her hand. My mother’s familiar scrawl across it drew my attention. She had addressed the letter to both Miss Serena and me.
“Are you ready?” Miss Serena asked.
Unable to speak, I nodded. Then I watched as she carefully slid a finger beneath the flap and broke the seal before pulling out several pages filled with my mother’s handwriting.
Chapter 6
I stared at the pages Miss Serena handed me. As I did, I blinked back the tears burning my eyes. For a moment, I couldn’t focus on the top page. When my vision cleared, I realized the first page was a note to Miss Serena. Leave it to Mom to make sure we both had letters.
“This is yours.”
She hesitated for a moment before taking the single sheet of paper. As she did, I turned my attention to my own letter.
My dearest Meggie,
Please don’t be angry with me – and don’t shake your head and deny that you are. I’d be mad, too, if you’d kept something like this from me. I know you might never forgive me, but I did it for you. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to become a burden to you. It wasn’t as if it was for very long. The doctors only confirmed my diagnosis two weeks ago. They said it was a matter of weeks, not months. I wanted you to remember the fun we had the last time we were together, not the memory of me during my last days, days when I wouldn’t know you anyway because I’d be drugged to handle the pain.
If you’re reading this, you did as I asked and went to Mossy Creek. Thank you for that. I know you probably wonder if I lost my mind. You probably have a million questions as well. Besides, if you weren’t already mad at me for keeping my illness from you, you probably are because of all the other secrets. They were necessary, and I hope you’ll understand by the time you finish reading this.
One thing first. Serena Duchamp is the finest, most trustworthy woman I have ever known. Please, tell her I love her and I have never forgotten the kindness and love she showed me when I was little more than a child. She saved me, in more ways than she probably understands. Meggie, you can trust her with your life. I did with mine and she never once betrayed my trust or my secrets.
I am going to ask you to do something else for me, my dearest child. I know your life is in Wichita. I also know you have been unhappy there for a long time. You came back to Kansas because of me. Nothing holds you there now. I’d like you to stay in Mossy Creek, not necessarily permanently but long enough to get to know Miss Serena and some of the others who meant so much to me before I left.
Learn from Miss Serena as well. You will never have a better teacher. I know. She trained me.
I’m rambling. Forgive me, Meggie, but I’ve never written a more difficult letter. I want to be there with you so much. If I have any regrets, it’s that I was too much of a coward to return to Mossy Creek with you. I should have taken you there to meet my real family, not those I share blood with but those who meant so much to me, those who would have loved you as much as I do — Miss Serena, Bob Caldwell, Judith O’Donnell, Miss Peggy and so many others. If you let them, they will be your family, just as they were mine.
Maggie, I would give anything to see you one last time, to hold you. Just remember how much I always loved you.
There is much you are going to learn about me over the next few days and weeks. Not all of it will be good. I haven’t been a saint, but I always did my best for you.
By now you’ve found the key I included with this letter. It is to a safe deposit box at the bank there in Mossy Creek. Inside the box are documents you need to see. They will explain much of what I can’t bring myself to write about. Serena knows a lot of the story, but not all of it. Collect the papers and go over them. Once you have, ask her any questions you might have.
Before I say goodbye, I must warn you about something. Once certain people realize not only that you are in Mossy Creek but that you are my daughter, they aren’t going to be happy. It won’t matter that I no longer have any legal claim on them or they on me. They will see you as someone to either win over and control or someone to destroy. Don’t fall for their tricks and do not give them the power to hurt you. You’re stronger than I was. Stand up to them and show them or they will try to destroy you.
I’m not doing this well. I’m sorry. I’ve done my best to protect you from my past, from my family. I can’t be there to do that any longer. All I can do is give you the tools necessary to protect yourself.
Meg, my family made most of the people in Maxon’s Mill look warm and accepting. There’s a joke in Mossy Creek about how being from the wrong side of the tracks has nothing to do with your economic status and everything to do with whether you are an Other or not. There had been so few Others in the family that, when my gifts started manifesting, my parents panicked.
I won’t go into details. Miss Serena knows them and will tell you if you ask. All I will say is this. My parents, after realizing they couldn’t cure me, kicked me out and washed their hands of me. But that changed and that is why you need to be wary. If they approach you, or if my brothers and their families do, listen to your gut and trust your instincts. Talk to Serena, and even Judith, Miss Peggy and Bob Caldwell. They will know if the wolves have changed their clothing. I know I’m being cryptic, but you will understand when you see the documentation in the safe deposit box.
Meggie, it’s always been just the two of us. You made my life worth living and I am so proud of you. You are the woman I wish I’d had the strength and confidence to be. I worry about you being alone. Don’t keep those walls up that you built in Maxon’s Mill. You won’t need them in Mossy Creek. There you can be yourself.
Take care of yourself, my darling girl, and don’t hate me too much. I chose my path and you are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Love you always,
Mom
I stared at the letter for a moment or maybe a year. Every word echoed deep inside of me. I wanted so badly to ask her all the questions her letter raised. But she wasn’t here and never would be again. Hopefully, between the information in the safe deposit box, the papers Annie gave me and Miss Serena, I’d find some answers. All I knew for sure just then was I wanted to hurt anyone and everyone who had ever caused my mother pain.
Without a word, I handed my letter to Miss Serena. As I did, she handed me her own letter. It was shorter than my own and very much my mother. She thanked Miss Serena for all she’d done for her over the years and she asked the older woman to keep an eye on me. I almost snorted at that. Even though I was thirty, Mom still thought of me as her little girl.
God, I missed her.
Chapter 7
I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt Miss Serena slide an arm around my shoulders and pull me close. I rested my head against her shoulder and closed my eyes. There had been so much pain in Mom’s letter, not to mention an undercurrent of anger I could still feel. Or m
aybe that was my own anger – anger at Mom and at those of her family who had so easily tossed her aside. Except they weren’t her family, not in the way that counted. Her family, at least until I’d been born, had been Miss Serena. I needed to remember that.
But that didn’t answer my questions. Questions like why hadn’t Mom come back to Mossy Creek after college? She knew Miss Serena loved her like one of her own. I had no doubt Miss Serena would have done everything possible to protect Mom. So why had my mother stayed away all these years?
Without a word, I stood. My bare feet were soundless against the hardwood floor as I crossed the library. Almost reverently, I placed Mom’s letter on the desktop. For a moment, my hand lingered, as if by touching the pages, I could reach out and touch my mother. I had even more questions now than I had before reading her letter.
Damn it, Mom. You didn’t have to be so cryptic.
As I stared out the window a few moments later, I felt Miss Serena’s gaze. She said nothing, giving me the time to process what I’d read. I appreciated the fact she wasn’t pushing me to talk it out like so many others would. She seemed to understand I needed time. The problem was I didn’t know if there would ever be enough time for that. How could I understand when I didn’t know all the facts?
“I don’t know what to do.”
I didn’t realize I’d said it aloud until Miss Serena joined me at the window. For a moment, she didn’t speak. Instead, she stood there, looking out. I doubted she saw what I did. Memories of Mom replaced the scene on the other side of the window. Memories of better times, before I’d gone to Iraq and before she got sick.
“You do what feels right, Meg,” Miss Serena said. “But that should be after you’ve given yourself time to recover from your injuries and after you’ve looked at the papers Annie gave you and at whatever is in the safe deposit box.”
I nodded. She was right. But that didn’t make it any easier.
“What did she mean about people wanting to get to me?”
Maybe I should have asked who she meant, but I had a pretty good idea she meant her biological family.
“Faith warned you to beware of your blood relations. But that doesn’t make sense. As she said, she no longer had any legal claims on them or they on her.” Miss Serena’s brow wrinkled as she considered what Mom wrote.
Maybe and maybe not. It would depend on what sort of legal hoops Mom – or her family – had jumped through. But there was no sense speculating, at least not yet.
“I really do appreciate the offer to stay here, Miss Serena, but I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
She cut me off before I could continue, her expression showing more than a bit of insult. “Meg, the offer was made because I loved your mother like she was my own daughter. You are hers and that, my dear, makes you mine. This is your home as long as you want. Never doubt that.”
I sighed and leaned my head against her shoulder for a moment. Then, on impulse, I brushed my lips against her cheek. I’d never had a grandmother. Maybe now, thanks to Mom, I might have found one.
“Thank you.” I turned to face her. “I feel battered around more than just the edges right now and not just by the wreck.” And Mom’s letter made me wonder about the wreck again. Could she have been warning me about something like that?
“Of course, you do. You’ve been alone since your mother’s death. But you aren’t now. You need to remember that.”
“I’ll try.”
“Do.” She pinned me with a firm look until I nodded. “What do you want to do now?”
I smiled, relieved she wasn’t trying to tell me what my next move should be. Not that I’d expected her to. She seemed more like the sort who let you make your own mistakes and learn from them, someone who wouldn’t interfere unless she thought you might be putting yourself in danger. Then I had a feeling she’d have her say and then some.
“What I want and what I need are two different things.” I had the grace to smile. At least I tried to. “I want to turn back the clock and be there for Mom. I want to ask her all the questions I now have. But that isn’t going to happen.” I blew out a sigh and rubbed my eyes. It would be so easy to give into the anger and pain again. But that wouldn’t solve anything.
“What I need to do is have a look at the papers Annie gave me and then see what’s in the safe deposit box.” I glanced at my watch. Where had the day gone? It was almost three. “I guess it’s too much to hope the bank’s still open.” I looked at Miss Serena and she shook her head.
“I’m sorry, Meg. The lobby won’t be open until tomorrow morning.” She took my hand and led me back to the sofa. “Why don’t I get the papers Annie gave you and then give you some privacy to go over them? You can work in here if you like.”
“Thank you.” I watched as she crossed to the pocket doors. “Miss Serena, I mean it. Thank you – for everything.”
She smiled and left the library, closing the doors behind her.
For two hours, I sat at the desk. Spread across the desktop were the documents Annie had given me. Most of them dated back to when Mom had been thirteen, maybe fourteen. There was the sheriff’s report, as well as statements from Mom’s principal and teachers, from the time her parents had kicked her out. A psychologist’s report attested to the fact my mother was a normal teen, traumatized – and more than likely abused – by her parents and siblings. His recommendation had been short and to the point. Not only did Mom need to be removed from her parents’ custody, all contact with them should be immediately terminated. He also signed off on letting her live with Miss Serena.
There were various court orders backing up that recommendation. Mom’s parents – It was hard enough to call them that. No way could I call them my grandparents – had refused to pay child support, not that Miss Serena wanted any. There had been several court hearings on the matter, all brought by the District Attorney’s Office on Mom’s behalf. Finally, Annie’s grandfather filed a motion to emancipate Mom. It had taken time, especially since her parents suddenly – and inexplicably – decided to fight the matter. But the motion had been granted and Miss Serena’s custody confirmed.
The next set of legal papers concerned Mom’s name change. It was all run-of-the-mill except for one thing. The records had been sealed. The judge hearing the case had carefully built the record to show that he agreed to this rather unorthodox approach because of the trouble Mom had with her parents. Faith Elizabeth Luíseach became Faith Serena Sheridan. Seeing the middle name she’d chosen for herself brought a smile to my lips. I needed to make sure Miss Serena knew. Mom had done what she could to take at least a part of the woman with her when she left home.
Home. That’s what this house had been for Mom. I understood that now. I also understood she wanted that for me. I just wished she’d told me about all this before she died. Damn it, why had she kept silent all these years?
The last set of papers Annie had included were faded copies of police reports. Difficult to read, I bent over them, squinting to read the dates and details. All but one were for incidents that had taken place before Mom came to live with Miss Serena. On one occasion, the school requested the sheriff send someone to check on Mom since she hadn’t been in school for more than a week. Another detailed a welfare check instigated by none other than Miss Peggy. There were two others. Each were basically the same. The reporting party was worried about Mom. They either hadn’t seen her in some time or they had seen her with visible injuries she wouldn’t or couldn’t explain. My blood boiled and bile rose in my throat to see proof she’d been abused by her family.
The final report spoke volumes about Miss Serena. One day, while Mom was in school, Miss Serena went into town to run some errands. She’d had the misfortune to cross paths with Mom’s mother. Eileen Luíseach did her best to force Miss Serena to strike out at her. It hadn’t worked. In fact, when a deputy arrived on the scene, everyone present pointed to Eileen as the cause of the trouble. She’d been cited for creating a disturbance. Miss Serena as
ked for the ticket to be dismissed. I had no doubt she was thinking about my mother when she did.
Thank God, Mom had had her.
I gathered the papers together and slid them back into the folder. As I did, a soft knock sounded at the pocket doors. A moment later, the doors slid open and Miss Serena stepped inside. Without hesitation, I climbed to my feet and hurried toward her. A moment later, I found myself in her arms, crying as I hadn’t allowed myself to since Mom’s death.
“Are you all right?” She tilted my head up and looked at me in concern.
I sniffled and ran a hand under my nose. Then I nodded. “Mom was right. You saved her.”
“She saved herself, child.”
I gave a watery smile and shook my head. Then I hugged her before stepping back. “You were more of a mother to her than she ever had before. Thank you.”
Miss Serena smiled and pulled me into a quick hug. Then she looked at me and I felt she could see into my soul. I remembered that same look from Mom and wondered if she’d learned it from Miss Serena. The thought reminded me what I wanted to tell her.
“Did you know when Mom changed her name, she changed her middle name too?”
She looked at me in surprise. “No.”
I smiled. “She did. Her legal name was Faith Serena Sheridan.”
Tears pooled in Miss Serena’s eyes and she sniffled much as I had earlier. Then she tilted her head to one side and looked at me. “There was more in the papers than that.”
“There was.” I gave her a quick overview, leaving out some of the more sordid details even though she probably knew them. “I understand more about Mom than I did, but I still have a number of questions. Some of them, you or Judge Caldwell, maybe even Miss Peggy, will be able to answer. Others, I’m going to need to do a deep computer search and perhaps some investigation to find the answers.”
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