by Holly Jacobs
Dad didn’t say anything. He just shot me another of his classic looks.
“That’s it, Dad.”
He humphed me.
“Back to your move. You don’t have to worry about me. And while we’re both adults, you have my blessing if that’s what you wanted.”
He laughed. “Maybe it is. The university is putting us up until we find a place. We’ll be looking for a house with guest rooms so whenever you come for a visit you’ll have someplace to sleep. And we’ll be close enough for you to go see Jaylin. It’s only a few hours down to her place. No more winters and . . .”
I listened to him talk enthusiastically about his plans, but I could still hear his concern for me. I reached out and took his hand. “Dad, the only constant is change. I’ll be fine.”
“I know you just had surgery and that this isn’t the best time, but I’m afraid there is no best time, and I didn’t want to have you find out some other way.”
I kissed his cheek. “Thank you for worrying. I—”
“Ban,” Fiona called.
A split second later, Archie barreled down the path and barked at my dad once then went to kiss him. Archie was definitely not a good guard dog.
“I’m back here,” I called. I turned to my dad. “I told you. Batten down the hatches. You’re about to face a tsunami.”
Seconds later, Fiona came down the path as I was petting Archie’s head.
“I gave you a few minutes,” she said to me. “Dad said to be polite, so I was, but I couldn’t wait any longer.” She turned to my dad. “I’m her sister. I’m not sure what that makes you to me. My sister’s dad? They don’t have a name for that, and Mr. Ahearn sounds weird. I mean, if my sister’s calling you Dad and I call you Mr. Ahearn—”
“What about an honorary uncle?” I suggested.
Dad smiled. “I’d like that.”
“Me, too,” Fiona said. “I don’t have any aunts and uncles, so I could use one. Uncle . . .”
She waited for his name.
“Pat,” he supplied.
“Pat. Uncle Pat. Yeah, that works.”
“Are you going to give him lessons on how to be an uncle?” I asked, then turned to my father. “The first day, Fiona told me what was required from sisters.”
Fiona’s hair was in a loose ponytail, so as she nodded, strands of hair started flying out of it. “I told Ban that she had to always think I’m right and that I’m perfect. I think that applies to ornery uncles, too.”
“Honorary,” I corrected. “Dad’s many things but ornery isn’t one of them.”
I could see my father was thoroughly charmed. “I’m pretty sure that thinking that you’re perfect is not going to be a problem.”
“I know, right?” Fiona teased.
“My stepmother’s in the house with Logan. If Dad’s your honorary uncle, that makes Margo an honorary aunt. And I’ve heard tell she’s very good at spoiling nieces.”
“Yeah? I better go meet her.” She took two steps toward the hole in the fence and then turned back around and hugged my dad, who was caught unaware but adjusted to an armful of nine-year-old just fine.
When Fiona released him, she said, “I thought about it and I gotta say thank you to you. I know Mom would say it if she were here. You were a good dad to my sister. I know that’s all Mom ever wanted.”
I was still blinking back tears as she shot through the hole in the fence.
I noticed Dad was blinking hard as well. “She’s something,” he said. “You tried to explain it to me, but I don’t think kids like Fiona can adequately be described. They need to be experienced.”
“Ned’s heading into the hospital soon, so if you don’t mind, you’ll have the day to experience Fiona in her fullest. But come on; let me introduce you before he takes off.”
We walked back up the path, Archie at our heels.
Though I now felt at home here, I knocked on the back door today. It felt cheeky to just invite guests in.
Ned came to the door and smiled. “Mr. Ahearn. I’m so glad you got here before I left.” He held the door open, and as we entered he extended his hand.
“Ned, I’m Pat,” Dad said, shaking Ned’s hand.
“Logan just texted that we should all head over that way. He made breakfast before he had to leave for work.” Ned turned to Dad. “Siobhan and Logan have taken turns seeing to it that I’m fed and that there’s always someone here for Fi. You raised a wonderful daughter.”
I realized that Ned was worried about stepping on my dad’s toes. But Dad smiled and nodded. “We did okay.”
“I’m right here, you two.”
Dad ignored me and still grinning at Ned, said, “I’m sure you can appreciate how hard it was dealing with someone like Siobhan. I mean, a straight A student who never gave us any grief. Arduous is the word I’d use to describe the experience.”
They walked back outside and over toward our house, joking as if they’d known each other for years. Of course, I was the butt of their jokes, but I didn’t mind. It was great to see them getting along.
And I was right; Margo was quite willing to play Fiona’s surrogate aunt.
Breakfast was a wonderful affair. The only way it could have been better was if Piper had been there, too.
An hour later, Ned stood up. “I need to head to the hospital. You’re sure you’re okay with Fi today?”
“Dad, I’m an utter delight,” Fiona proclaimed. “Of course Ban is okay with me. And Uncle Pat and Aunt Margo are already marveling at how lucky they are to have me in their lives.”
Margo and Dad laughed at Fiona’s proclamation and assured Ned as well.
I walked Ned to the front door. “Let me know how she’s doing,” I said. Most days he sent out a text after the doctor came around.
“Definitely,” Ned promised. “She’s going to want to meet them.”
“If she’s up to it, that’s great. If not, she’ll meet them soon.”
Ned kissed my cheek. It surprised me. Over the last weeks, we’d built a solid foundation for a relationship, but to date it hadn’t included any kissing. I smiled at him. “What was that for?”
“That was because . . . just because.”
I kissed his cheek in return. “I just-because you, too,” I assured him.
I watched as he walked back to his driveway and got in his car before I went back inside.
A half hour later, Logan got ready to leave. He called his good-byes, and I left the backyard, where Dad, Margo, and Fiona were playing with Archie, and walked Logan out. “Thanks for making breakfast,” I said.
“Anytime. I’ll see you tonight.”
I watched as he pulled away from the house. I was right. My life might still be tangled, but the Logan string was looking fine.
It was a lovely day. Fiona decided she was Dad and Margo’s tour guide. We went to the peninsula and took a walk down the beach. The lifeguards had long since hung up their whistles for the season, and the beaches were pretty deserted. But Fiona pointed out various birds and found more beach glass.
After lunch, Ned called.
I will confess, I was nervous about this meeting. Not that I thought Dad and Piper wouldn’t like each other. I wasn’t sure why, to be honest, but I was.
Margo and Fiona stopped at the gift shop as we entered, so just Dad and I went to Piper’s room. We put on the gowns and masks and went inside. “Dad, this is Piper. Piper, my father, Pat Ahearn.”
Piper managed to say hello before she broke into tears. After a moment, she pulled herself together and said, “I feel as if I’m meeting an old friend after our e-mails. Thank you, Pat. You don’t know how much it means. Thank you.”
“What e-mail?” I asked.
Dad looked embarrassed. “You mentioned you were coming in and telling Piper some of your childhood stories. And Margo and I started packing, so when I found your mother’s memory box, I started scanning things and sent a bunch of them to Piper. Logan gave me her e-mail address.”
�
�Old report cards, pictures you drew, snapshots of you,” Piper explained. “And a few anecdotes.”
“Dad.” I hugged him. “Thank you.”
“Your mom and I used to joke that friends must have gotten tired of us bragging about you. It’s nice to have an audience who hangs on your every word and story. Someone who agrees that you are as amazing as your mom and I always knew you were.”
Listening to Dad and Piper talk, I realized the only things I needed to be embarrassed about were the stories he was sharing.
“. . . and she got home at ten. I could hear them on the porch, and when she didn’t come in, I looked out the window to check and—”
“Dad,” I said, knowing where this story was going and hoping he’d stop but knowing he wouldn’t.
I was right. He had no intention of stopping.
“—just in time to see her smack Johnny in the face and tell him that a kiss good night was one thing, but grabbing her butt was just rude.”
“It was,” I maintained, laughing along with them.
After a half hour, Piper was starting to droop, and Dad spotted it as easily as I did. He said, “We need to be going, but it was so nice to finally meet you in person, Piper. Thank you.”
No one asked what he was thanking her for. And when Piper said, “Thank you,” no one asked about that, either.
Chapter Ten
“You’re my friend,” Brenda said.
“And you’re mine,” Craig agreed.
“But what if . . .” She didn’t say anything more because she didn’t know what to say or how to say it.
But Craig, as always, understood. He nodded and said, “Yes. What if?”
—The Naming of Things, by Pip
I woke up with a start. For a moment, I wasn’t sure where I was, but I heard Logan’s presnore and felt his arm between my head and the pillow. I was still, in hopes that I wouldn’t disturb him. I hadn’t needed comforting last night, and yet he was here.
After my dad and Piper met a week and a half ago, a lot of my tangled emotions had unknotted. Dad was right, loving Piper, Ned, and Fiona didn’t make me love him or Margo any less. It didn’t make me love my mom any less. My heart had stretched and was comfortable with its new dimensions. Everyone I loved fit very nicely within it.
I turned my head slightly. I could see Logan in the early morning light. The shadows couldn’t obscure the view of a man I’d come to know so well. I saw him. I really saw him in a way I doubted he’d be comfortable with.
He was a man who didn’t want to be committed to anyone. He was a will-o’-the-wisp who’d stopped here for but a moment. Soon he would move on to someplace else. He was a man of infinite kindness and compassion, not only for the people he’d helped all over the world, but for me as well. He’d welcomed me and stood by me. He was smart and sexy.
He was everything Carey had never been. He was everything Carey never could be.
When I looked at my newly expanded heart, I could feel him there along with everyone else.
He’d made his priorities clear from the start. I knew he liked me and thought of me as a friend. I knew he cared for me. And I knew he’d be gone next summer.
If I had studied psychiatry, maybe I’d have theories on why he never stayed in any one place for long. Maybe all those years when his mom—and he by proxy—had struggled and never had a home had left their mark. Maybe that was mixed with his effort to be like Piper—to toss his stones in the ocean and make his ripples.
Maybe it was simply something inherent in him—a need to go to new places and try new things.
Whatever the combination of reasons, I wouldn’t try to change him. I would never try to make him be something other than what he was.
“Siobhan?” he said, a question tied up in just my name. “You’re thinking very loudly again,” he said in what had become his morning greeting.
“I was thinking it’s got to be after eight. I need to get out of bed.” I slipped out from between the covers and kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep. You didn’t come up to bed until after one.”
“I might just doze for a few more minutes. Unless you want to come back in bed and join me? We could probably think of something—”
“Ban,” Fiona screamed from downstairs. “Ban.”
I smiled at him. “I was tempted, but it looks like my day’s starting early.” I shrugged on a sweatshirt as I hurried down the stairs barefoot.
Fiona was dressed for school, but her hair was in a very sloppy-looking ponytail.
“Hey, munchkin. Did you want me to braid—”
“Nah. Mom called Dad. The doctor came by early. He said her white cell numbers are climbing.”
“You’re sure?” After a bone marrow transplant, the doctors watch for signs that it’s working. The biggest sign is when the white blood cell numbers start to climb. It meant they were working. They call it engraftment.
Engraftment. We’d been waiting for it.
“Yep.” Fiona let out a yelp, as if all her joy needed someplace to escape to, like a pressure valve, or the whistle of a teapot.
I hollered a happy yelp of my own.
The two of us were dancing around the kitchen like loons when Logan came down barefoot with just a pair of sweats on. He slipped his T-shirt on as he asked, “What’s up?”
“Engraftment, baby,” I said and pulled him down the last couple of stairs to join me and Fiona.
“Dad’s on his way in to see her after he drops me off.”
“Tell him I’ll stop in later.”
Fiona hugged me. “Thank you,” then she ran out the back door and through the hole in the fence.
“What time do you have to leave today?” I asked Logan.
“Eleven.”
“Good.”
I flung myself into his arms, and after a long, slow kiss, I took his hand and led him back upstairs.
When Logan left, I drove to the hospital with him.
I was practically walking on air as I made my way up to Piper’s room. The route was familiar now.
I scrubbed my hands, still changed into a gown, and still put on a mask and gloves. But engraftment meant someday soon I wouldn’t have to do that.
Someday soon I could walk up to Piper and hug her with no precautions or worries.
“Good morning, sunshine,” she said from her bed. Ned was sitting next to her in the chair and smiled as well.
Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought she had more color in her cheeks. If I was imaging it, it was okay because she’d have the color for real soon.
“I’m so happy,” I said.
“I am, too,” she said.
“Does that mean I’m out of the doghouse?” Ned asked. He was teasing.
“What are you in the doghouse for?” I asked as I pulled up another chair.
“Oh, I’ve been there ever since you came to the house and Piper found out I went to see you.”
“It’s not that I’m not happy you came, but like I said the first day, I didn’t want to guilt you into it. But yes, Ned, you’re out of the doghouse.”
“Piper, Ned . . .” I tried to figure out how to say what I needed to say. I finally settled on how. “Okay, here’s today’s story for you, Piper.”
She sank back against her pillow and smiled. Ned started to stand, but I said, “No. It’s for you, too.”
He sat back down.
“When I went away to college, I had a rough time of it the first few weeks. I wasn’t sure where I fit there. In high school, I’d had a goal in mind. Graduate with a high GPA and get into the school of my choice, OSU. I did that, and suddenly I didn’t know what I wanted next. I was kind of lost. But I checked into my dorm and met my roommate, Jaylin. She was nerdy and beautiful, though she’s never realized she is. She’s always a bit mystified when a guy hits on her. She always rebuffs those kinds of advances because she says if a guy just likes her because of the way she looks, that says a lot about him, and what it says is enough to convince her she’s not
interested.
“Anyway, I moved in with her. She dragged me out to campus activities. Plays, movie nights, mixers. I’d complain and say I didn’t want to go, but she’d ignore me and soon I’d be out at one event or another, and I’d have fun. And then next time, she’d drag me along again, and I’d have fun. And soon, I forgot that I didn’t know where I belonged. I started discovering a few activities and taking her. She gave me a push, and I landed exactly where I was supposed to be, and I was happy to be there.”
I wasn’t sure the analogy was working, so I said, “That’s what happened when Ned showed up at my door. I’d thought of you. And I frequently thought I should go look for you. But it was like when I started college. There were too many possibilities, and they were all overwhelming. When I went to school, I was leaving my parents and I knew it was hard, especially on Mom. We’d been so close. But we talked on the phone every day and she got busy with a new school year. By the time I came home for Thanksgiving, we’d all adjusted to the change. My home was still with them, but I was at home at school, too. I couldn’t imagine my life without Jaylin and classes and Carey.”
Yes. Carey had been an important part of my growing up. He’d been far more social than even Jaylin.
“After I graduated, Jaylin and I lived in a crappy apartment and started the company. She eventually moved to North Carolina with her boyfriend, and I bought the house and Carey moved in. And I had a new home. So did Jaylin, but she was still a big part of my life.”
I knew I wasn’t telling this with the ease that Piper would have. But I’d finally wound my way to the point of today’s story.
“It was like that with you. And now that I’ve found you, well I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Ned, I’ve never said it but thank you. Thanks for not listening to Piper and coming to get me.”
I looked at Piper. “I obviously am better at programming than telling stories, but what I’m saying is, I’m so glad he came to me. I’m so glad I came here. I’m so glad that you’re getting better and we’ll have years and years to get to know each other. I’m so glad to find out I have a sister. I’m just—”