‘You’re kidding! Oh God, I feel terrible. I’m so sorry.’
Frankie sighed. ‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘I mean, if you’re going to set everything right, I guess there’s no harm done.’
‘I am. I definitely am.’ Linda stared out into the darkness. ‘I feel like I’m losing him, Frankie,’ she said. ‘All the pieces I thought I knew, they’re just not there anymore. For the first time the other morning, for just a minute … he didn’t know who I was. He didn’t know his own wife.’
‘That’s awful,’ said Frankie, because she really didn’t know what else to say.
* * *
‘We have to go and confront her!’ It was Kellie who was chiming in now.
‘I … I don’t know … maybe now isn’t the time … the place.’ Poppy had the feeling she wasn’t going to be able to avoid a confrontation though; the group of NOP women surrounding her had grown and everyone had an opinion.
‘I can’t believe she has the nerve to be here. To just sit over there like she wasn’t hanging out with us a few weeks back. I can’t believe I asked her if she’d like to join my husband and me for a threesome’ said Jess.
‘Wait, what?’ said another member.
‘It makes sense now, doesn’t it?’ said Kellie, ignoring Jess completely.
‘What does?’ Poppy asked.
‘The way she was always asking questions! Asking us why we chose not to have kids or how we felt about stuff. She was interviewing us for her bloody article.’
The other members’ voices all tumbled over one another.
‘Oh my God! She was Sophie’s friend, wasn’t she? Sophie was her way in! That’s how she must have found out about us in the first place! She sold us out to her journalist friend!’
‘But didn’t Carla bring Sophie on board?’
‘Is she definitely a journalist, does anyone know that for sure? Or was it just a one-off blog piece about us?’
‘Well, we’re not going to know unless we go and talk to her.’
They all fell silent then and moved aside. Two new women were standing in front of Poppy now, both with their arms folded. One was just pregnant enough that you could tell. The other was super skinny and wearing a silky cocktail dress that clung to her slight frame.
‘It’s Poppy, isn’t it?’ said the one on the left – the pregnant one, stepping forward.
‘Yes.’
She pulled out Annalise’s chair and sat next to Poppy. The other woman remained standing. The rest of the NOP members backed away a little, pretending not to listen when they clearly all were.
‘I’m Yasmine,’ said the pregnant woman. ‘And this is Leanne. We’re both part of MOP; Leanne’s one of the moderators, actually. We thought it might be good for us to talk.’
Kellie stepped back in again. ‘Hey, anything you want to say to Poppy you can say to all of us,’ she said, her tone aggressive.
‘Kellie,’ Poppy said, ‘it’s fine.’ She didn’t want this to turn into something too big. She looked back at Yasmine and Leanne. ‘So how exactly is it that you know who I am, when I don’t know you two from a bar of soap?’
‘We know quite a bit,’ said Yasmine.
‘Considering you’re from MOP then, it would be nice to know how that is,’ said Poppy. ‘Because NOP isn’t for mothers, just like MOP isn’t for women like me.’
‘You know that’s exactly what I take issue with,’ said Leanne. ‘You never even bothered to check if you could have joined MOP before you started your own group. If you had, you would have found out we’re actually perfectly happy to accommodate some women without kids.’
‘Some,’ said Poppy. ‘Some women without kids. Let me guess, just the ones who are planning on joining your ranks but aren’t pregnant yet, or can’t get pregnant or something like that? Well, what about the women like me – the women who have no interest in ever having kids? I really doubt you’d want us to join. And you know what? We don’t want to anyway. That’s why we made our own group.’
‘You made your own group so you could harass and intimidate mothers,’ said Yasmine.
‘No, that’s not what NOP was for and it’s not what it’s about. You’re the ones who turned it into a battle between us and you. You’re the ones who put some fake member into our group to spy on us. Presumably that’s how you know who I am?’
‘We didn’t put her into your group, she chose to join on her own because she was curious. She just happened to already be a member of MOP, and when she saw what was going on she decided to do something about it,’ said Leanne.
‘Besides,’ added Yasmine, ‘even if it wasn’t for her, I would have known who you are. Because I used to be part of NOP too.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, is every member of MOP also a mole in NOP? What the hell?’
‘I wasn’t a mole! I was a part of NOP legitimately. I couldn’t have kids, and I believed that I didn’t want them, and I loved being a part of your group. But then I fell pregnant, and instead of congratulating or supporting me or letting me stay a part of this group where I’d formed a close network of friends, you booted me out and blocked me without even bothering to explain why. It bloody hurt! So I joined MOP and I got to know the women there, and they supported me and became my friends.’
Poppy stared at Yasmine. She thought back to that day, down in the warehouse with Annalise, when she’d read the excitable post on NOP. When she’d known that any day she’d hear about that same excitable news from Karleen and Garret when they had their baby and she’d thought, I don’t want to be happy for you, I really don’t. And she’d just wanted to shut out people like her. She’d used Yasmine as an example – This group isn’t for people like her! And yes, maybe she’d gone about it the wrong way. But at the time, she’d thought that was the best choice.
She really didn’t know what to say.
* * *
Annalise arrived back at the table to find Poppy in the middle of a heated discussion with two strange women, and she immediately felt that familiar desire to protect her. Right from the moment she’d become her friend, that’s all she ever wanted to do.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked, stepping in and eyeing the woman who was sitting in her chair.
‘Well,’ said Poppy, ‘this is Yasmine and Leanne from MOP, and you know what? I actually don’t know what they came here to talk to me about. I don’t what it is that they want from me.’
‘I just want to understand why you’re doing it,’ said Leanne. ‘I want to know why you think you have the right to harass women just for being mothers, just because they made a different choice from you.’
‘We … we weren’t,’ Poppy said and Annalise could hear the desperation in her voice. ‘That’s not what our group was about. NOP was a chance for women like us to connect over things like how easy mothers have it, how many advantages you get in the world. Things just got … out of hand.’
‘And it wouldn’t have escalated any further if you lot hadn’t started bombarding us with abusive mail,’ Annalise stepped in.
‘Well, it definitely didn’t seem that way to us,’ said Yasmine. ‘What about the woman who gave a cookie to a kid and he ended up being allergic to it? That was off the back of one of your horrendous challenges.’
‘No, actually, it wasn’t. That story had zero to do with NOP,’ said Annalise. ‘I looked into it when it started doing the rounds. It didn’t even happen in this state, and the people involved had nothing to do with either group. Someone decided to take the story and use it as a way to paint us as evil. And I’m betting it was one of your members who spread that rumour. So can you get out of my chair, please?’
Yasmine stood up next to her friend. ‘This is going nowhere,’ she said, giving both Poppy and Annalise a derisive look, and she was about to turn away but Leanne stood still.
‘I need to say this,’ she said. ‘You honestly think you guys are the ones suffering some great injustice in the world? You really think mothers are the ones getting special adv
antages? Are you kidding me! Have you ever been told, “We didn’t mention the manager’s position to you because it’s much longer hours and we know it wouldn’t suit you as a mum”? Because I have. Have you ever been kicked off a bus because your kid threw a tantrum and the bus driver said he was too tired to deal with a mother who couldn’t control her damn kid? Because I have. Have you missed out on holidays, or said no to that gorgeous leather jacket because you know you need to save your money for school uniforms, or been glared at in a cafe by a bunch of middle-aged women judging your every move – because I’ve had all of these things happen to me. And yes, yes, I chose to become a mum. This is my path, and maybe that means I have to wear the consequences of everything that comes along with it. But I don’t see why it means I have to give up on my career. Or why it means I have to put up with the daily judgment of people who don’t know me and don’t know my kids and yet they think they could do better. And you think you have it bad? FUCKING SPARE ME.’
The two of them turned away and headed back to one of the MOP tables.
The NOP ladies all erupted in conversations.
‘Can you believe them!’
‘Way to go, Annalise – can you please get out of my chair – classic!’
‘God, they were awful. No wonder we had to start our own group. Can you imagine the self-righteous posts they must put up in theirs?’
Annalise put a hand on Poppy’s back. ‘You okay?’ she asked.
Poppy smiled, picked up her wineglass and took a large sip. ‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘I guess.’ She kept her voice low and Annalise had to lean in close to listen. ‘It’s just that … they’re not wrong. We really did start harassing mothers. Annalise, I don’t know how this is all going to end.’
‘You know what?’ said Annalise, ‘I think we should go and talk to that mother-effing Carla bitch. Or whatever her real name is. She has a lot to answer for in all of this.’
* * *
Frankie was relieved to find a full glass of champagne waiting for her when she got back to her table. After the ‘deep and meaningfuls’ she’d been through with both Annalise and Linda, she needed a drink and a break from the drama. Chelsea welcomed her back with a big smile. ‘Still no entrees have made their way to our neck of the woods yet,’ she said cheerfully, ‘but I assume we’ll get fed eventually.’
‘You know what?’ said Frankie. ‘As long as they keep the drinks coming, I’m happy.’
Chelsea laughed. ‘With you on that one, especially with the heat we’re getting from the NOP chicks over thatta way.’ She jerked her head and Frankie looked across to see both Poppy and Annalise standing up and making a beeline towards them.
‘Oh God, what now?’ Frankie said. Then she remembered Annalise’s comment about the person who wrote the article being seated at her table. She looked back at Chelsea and gasped, ‘On no, it’s you, isn’t it?’
‘What’s me?’ Chelsea asked.
Poppy and Annalise reached them and Frankie was ready and willing to defend Chelsea. Even if she had caused a lot of trouble by writing that article, Frankie owed her one after the way she’d helped her out with her kids. She stood up. ‘Listen, girls,’ she began. But Poppy stepped past her, and then past Chelsea as well.
‘Hi, Carla,’ she said.
Frankie did a double-take. ‘What?’ she interrupted. ‘That’s not Carla, that’s Lucy!’
Lucy stayed seated, her manner cool and calm as she looked up at Poppy and Annalise. ‘Hi, girls,’ she said.
‘Lucy!’ Frankie said. ‘Are you kidding me? You wrote the article?’
‘I can’t believe you didn’t pick it up, sis. I totally knew that was you pretending to be Viv in the group.’
‘You did not!’
‘Um, yeah, I totally did.’
‘Wait,’ said Poppy, ‘this is your sister? Okay, wow. Why am I not surprised?’
‘Hey, I didn’t know she was in the group!’ Frankie looked at her sister. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Well, why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because … well, I don’t know. But I had a good reason for being there.’
‘So did I.’
‘What? Just to get a story? You’re not even a proper journalist yet!’
‘Yeah, well, it was good practice.’
‘It was a shit article,’ said Annalise, ‘just by the way.’
‘Thanks.’
‘You realise you completely ruined our group?’ Poppy cut in. ‘You stirred up so much trouble for us.’
‘No, no, Poppy. You did that all by yourself when you went on your little drunken tirade and showed your true colours.’
The lights dimmed again and the MC started calling for people to take their seats.
‘You are unbelievable,’ said Annalise.
‘No, she’s unbelievable,’ said Lucy, thrusting a finger at Poppy, ‘to think that she could get away with all the trouble she’s caused.’
They were all ignoring the MC and none of them seemed to notice that the room was quietening around them.
Frankie stared at her sister in amazement then reached out and batted at her hand. ‘Stop pointing. Sit down!’ she hissed.
‘No! I’m not going to sit down. These two women need to understand that they have no one to blame but themselves!’ Lucy stepped in closer to Poppy and Annalise, and her voice reached fever pitch as she screamed right into their faces. ‘You stupid, childish girls, playing your ridiculous little games!’
Frankie could see flecks of spit shooting forth from her mouth. The entire room was silent; even the MC had stopped calling for attention. All eyes were on the confrontation happening in the middle of the room.
‘Lucy! Stop!’ Frankie tried again, but Poppy spoke over the top of her.
‘I KNOW!’ she shouted in reply. ‘Don’t you get it? I know that I fucked up! I hated how it all turned out, but that was never what our group was meant to be about! It all got out of control!’ Her voice cracked on the last word.
There was a pause and the entire room seemed to tip slightly sideways and for a second Frankie thought she was having a dizzy spell. Then she realised it was the boat. Annalise grabbed hold of the back of Chelsea’s chair and Lucy stumbled. Poppy somehow held her balance.
The MC spoke up again. ‘Sorry, everyone, but I need you all to sit down, please. I’ve just been informed a larger ship passed by a little closer than expected and we’ve hit a large wave from their wake. That should be the worst of it, but I still need you to take your seats. The waitstaff will resume dinner service momentarily.’
Frankie reached out for Lucy’s arm. ‘Please,’ she begged, ‘sit down, would you?’ Her sister finally complied, and Poppy and Annalise both turned away to head back to their own table.
‘Excellent,’ said the MC, clearly relieved to see that the argument had been broken up. ‘I’d now like to introduce our next speaker for the night …’
Chelsea nudged Frankie. ‘That was insane,’ she whispered. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ Frankie murmured, ‘but I don’t know what the hell has got into my sister.’
* * *
Poppy and Annalise sat down as quietly as they could. Poppy kept her eyes low. She was mortified by her behaviour and she didn’t want to see the expressions on any of the faces around them. A hard lump had formed in her throat and she clenched her teeth together. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. She desperately didn’t want to cause yet another spectacle by bursting into noisy tears on top of everything else.
At first, Poppy wasn’t listening to the speech; she couldn’t – she was too caught up in her own problems to focus. But the seriousness of the words penetrated her consciousness, and when she did tune in, all thoughts of NOP were immediately thrust from her mind as she listened.
‘… when you’re in that sort of situation, it’s easy for other people to judge,’ the woman was saying. ‘They look at you and they see that you have kids and they say, well, why wouldn’t she
just leave? They think that you’re selfish. That you’re a bad mother. But what they don’t know is that it isn’t that simple. You question every decision you make. If I leave, will he track us down? Will he take it out on the kids? How will he make me pay? Plus not everyone has somewhere to go. I didn’t. I had no family nearby. No friends. Not one. And that’s because he orchestrated it to be that way. He wanted me to feel isolated. He wanted me to believe I was worthless.’ The woman’s voice became choked and she paused for a moment and looked down at the floor.
The entire room was dead silent. There were no more nasty looks shooting between the NOP or the MOP tables. Everyone was focused on the woman at the front.
‘However, I got a bit of a lucky break. A school mum suggested I join this local Facebook group for Parramatta mums in order to meet people. Through this group, I started to form local community connections. Eventually, I asked the moderators of the group to post an anonymous query on my behalf. I asked if anyone else had been through what I was going through and how they broke that cycle. I was so afraid when that post went up. I was ready for the judgement to start. I was ready for the perfect mums out there who would call me out for putting my kids’ lives at risk. But what I wasn’t ready for was the level of compassion I received. I wasn’t ready for the number of women who were willing to share their own personal stories. These women gave me hope. They told me about a new women’s shelter that had recently opened its doors here in Parramatta, and within two weeks I had a plan. I had a way out. The volunteers at Safe Haven were absolutely incredible. They made me feel human again. They gave me back my dignity. They showed me that I was worth something. And for that I can’t thank them enough. Now, while I know you’ve all already dug deep to book a table here tonight, it would be great if you could continue to dig deep, because Safe Haven is now in need. Without a serious boost to their funding, they’re not going to be able to keep their doors open, and that would be an absolute tragedy.’
Those Other Women Page 29