by Emily Snow
But I’m no Hercules, baby
Ain’t no white knight
Got no superpowers
So I’m losin’ this fight
You gonna break me, remake me,
Open me up for all the world to see
But I’ll give you what you want
Cause I can’t say no
Take all that I have
But baby, never let me go
I begin during the last few words of his verse and pour out in song all that we have been and will be.
[Oh no] I will never let you go
Boy, you gotta know
You’re the one for me
Baby, can’t you see
Don’t wanna take it slow
Trace looks at me and it’s obvious that the words he sings next are coming straight from his beautiful heart.
Baby, don’t let go
How could I not have known
Now I can see
That you’re the one for me
And I love you so
The music slows and fades into the background as we sing our last verse, a cappella and in complete harmony.
I won’t let you go
Yeah I want you to know
Baby, I can see
You’re the one for me
And I love you so
Trace bends down and rests his forehead on mine. “I love you, Peaches,” he whispers, his microphone at his side.
“I love you, too,” I respond as he takes me into his arms and kisses me like there aren’t millions of people watching.
Epilogue
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this ‘fuck my life’ attitude that permeated everything I said and did. Losing my parents while they were serving others seemed like the ultimate slap in the face from God and the Chicago ghetto taught me I was pretty much on my own. However, the night of the MTV Video Music Awards when I lost Dre, almost lost Taryn and my boys, and could have lost my own life, made me see that I wanted off this first-class flight to Hell. Not that I had a ‘come to Jesus’ moment—not even close. But for the first time in my life, I know exactly what I want and can appreciate what I already have.
And what I have is a family. Though the only blood relatives that matter are now gone, I have a family in every way that counts. Stella has become as close to a mom as the one I lost and always serves as my voice of reason, even if it is through Motown hits. And the moment on the red carpet when Jay told me to take care of Taryn even at the possible expense to my career, I knew without a doubt that he was on my side. He might have a piss-poor way of expressing it most of the time, but he’s got my back…not unlike my dad if he were here.
Cal, Marcus, Xavier, and Quinton are the brothers I never had and have rallied behind me through the loss of Dre. Every last one of them, to include Jay and Stella, came with me when I started my own record label, and if that doesn’t show dedication, I don’t know what does. Backlash Records was a safe bet and we all took a risk leaving, but they didn’t have the safety net of millions of dollars if my little venture failed. No amount of money would ever be enough to repay them for believing in me that way.
Fortunately, that skinny rapper with a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas ensured that we’ll all be making bank. He has become me and I’m happy not to be him. Hopefully, someday soon he’ll lose the anger, drop the attitude, and figure out that life’s too short for that shit.
As for what I want—hell, that’s easy. I’ve already got the job of my dreams and now it’s time to get the girl of my dreams.
“Peaches?” I ask as she answers her phone. I hate communicating through electronic devices when we’re in the same city, especially after all those months we spent apart. Never again though. Thankfully, both of our touring days are over. We made a decision to start TNT Records together and now she focuses on songwriting and developing our country artists. The only time I’ve ever seen her this happy was when she was indulging a young fan with a photo or autograph, and though the unwanted media attention has decreased significantly, I don’t see her fans forgetting her anytime soon.
And I know for a fact that Taryn will be even happier once we get our girl Regina on board. After her contract with Backlash ends, Gina is planning on joining us the very next day. She may be at the top of her game now, but I’ve got plans to take her to a whole other level, if that’s what she wants.
“Yeah, babe?” she asks, sounding distracted.
“Everything okay? We’re still meeting in ten minutes, right?” I ask, sounding as thoroughly whipped as I am. ‘Pussy-whipped,’ my boys would say, but only because they like to give me hell. They love Taryn like a sister and know that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Which is why nothing can go wrong today…
“Yeah, I’ll be there. See you then…bye, babe,” she says and hangs up before I can respond. Shit, what could be bothering her? The tabloids all but ignore us now that we’re not in the spotlight and because of the multi-million dollar lawsuits bleeding the life out of the worst media offenders for contributing to the death of my cousin.
Maybe she’s stressed about filling up our newly purchased penthouse with furniture. God knows I don’t know shit about decorating, so I’ve been happy to leave that all on her plate. It might be too much though with all that’s going on at work. Then again, don’t they have people you can pay to do all that for you?
Whatever it is, I’ll make it alright and if I can’t, I’ll make her forget whatever she’s stressing about as we continue christening every square inch of our home. And for once, I’m comfortable calling someplace “home.” Neither of us ever felt that way about Los Angeles, so when it came time to start our own label, we decided we could do it wherever we damn well pleased—so we moved to New York City. Luckily, the rest of our team liked the idea of a change in scenery and joined us, though I have a feeling some might head back to our smaller office in LA after the first winter hits. I’ve lived through Chicago winters but Taryn might be begging us to head back to the beach too once the temperature dips below freezing. You can take the girl outta Texas…
Honk! Shit, these cabbies are relentless. Now I know why I take private cars everywhere and will after today, but I want to stay on the down-low as much as possible and a yellow cab seemed liked the best way to do it. Fortunately, we’re at my stop and I can feel my pulse racing as I hand the guy a twenty and hop out onto the sidewalk.
I look around and make my way toward a park bench to wait for my girl, sitting next to an old man who looks like he wouldn’t know either of us if we were related to him. Probably a safe bet. I think about how Taryn and I will look when we’re older, and though I know she’ll be just as gorgeous to me with gray hair, I can’t help but smile when I spot her walking toward me with those beautiful strawberry-blonde locks that I swear are made of silk.
As soon as she nears, I get up and wrap my hands around her body, eager to erase that anxious expression on her face. Not wanting to give the old guy a free show or generate any unwelcome attention that a public make-out session might bring—not yet anyway—I take hold of her hand and lead her through an entrance to Central Park.
“Why are we going here? I thought we had a lunch meeting with that indie guy, and aren’t we already late?” she asks.
“Shortcut” is all I say, desperately wanting to kiss her but knowing we need to keep moving since someone is waiting on us.
As we walk, I take in the perfect early summer day, thankful that the weather is just right and it’s not too hot. Up ahead and a short distance from the path we’re currently on, I see Cal leaning against a tree, a huge smile on his face. The girl that he’s been dating since I’ve known him is from the East Coast so yeah, he’s a happy guy. As I’ve come to find out, when your girl is happy, everybody is happy.
Though he’s hard to miss, Taryn must be lost in her thoughts because she startles when he calls out to her.
“Hey, Cal…what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be he
ading out for a vacation. Marley is going to have your hide,” she scolds teasingly.
“Leaving today. Just a few things I wanted to wrap up,” he says, throwing me a wink.
“Oh, well I can wait while y’all talk or you can come with…wait, what’s all that?” she asks in confusion, pointing at the incredible spread Stella set up.
“Thanks, Cal,” I say, giving him a fist-bump, “have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
He doesn’t even respond to that but just walks away, laughing his ass off. I chuckle too, thinking that there isn’t anything I’ve done that Cal hasn’t either seen or known about, so that probably was a dumbass thing to say. But he and I both know I ain’t about that life anymore. The girl standing right next to me with the most adorable confused expression on her face is exactly what I’m about.
“You remember when you told me what you always wanted to do if you had a day to spend in Central Park?” I ask, pulling her toward the extra-large blanket covering a plush area of grass that’s shaded by an enormous tree, and—not coincidentally—overlooking a lake.
“Well, now we live here and can spend lots of days exploring every acre of this park, but I specifically remember you mentioning a picnic by a lake,” I say, kneeling down on the ground and bringing her onto my lap.
“But what about the meeting?” she asks, always the professional. God, I love this woman.
“Well, we are going to have lunch,” I say, indicating the big-ass basket a foot away from us with all of her favorites, Oreos included. “And if you’re looking for a meeting with an indie guy… well, baby, I’m as independent as they get. No LA execs telling me what to do. I call the shots these days.”
She raises that perfect eyebrow at me and I kiss her luscious lips before correcting myself, “And by that, I mean that whatever the boss lady says, I do.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she murmurs and then kisses me again, but this time our tongues tangle and I’m lost in her completely. Or finally found, is more like it. I’ve never felt this complete, and even though I know I could live without her, I don’t ever want to.
I reach into my pocket, pulling out my iphone, and Taryn pulls away from our kiss. “Are you really going to make a call…right now?” she asks suggestively, rubbing her hand up my thigh.
“Hell no. But before we eat, I wanted you to hear something.”
“A new song?”
“Yup, let me know what you think,” I say, finding the one I’m looking for. When the first notes of my man Jason Derulo’s “Marry Me” begins to play, Taryn’s face shifts from confusion to almost immediate shock. I clear my throat but only to keep from laughing, and then I start to sing with only the instrumentals in the background.
Three hundred sixty five days since we were in your bed
And I know you know the night I’m talkin’ about
Still think about every kiss and all the words we said
Felt sure then but now I have no doubt
See we complement each other in every single way
You’re the missing puzzle piece, the best part of my day
I know everything about you and you know about me
No more surprises, what you get is what you see
And girl, you are made for me
I promise you’re the only one
Girl, you’re made for me
I’m singing
Oh whoa oh
Oh whoa oh
Countless colors I see when I look into your eyes
‘cept blue but that’s okay cause I wanna see yours not mine
Lookin’ at me, not all those other guys
Every day for the rest of my life
See we complement each other in every single way
You’re the missing puzzle piece, the best part of my day
I know everything about you and you know about me
No more surprises, what you get is what you see
And girl, you are made for me
I promise you’re the only one
Girl, you’re made for me
I could have it all you see
But I want you to share with me
Everything
Yeah, everything
I need you more than just today
Tomorrow and yesterday
I want forever, ever
Cause you’re the one
Yeah, you are made for me
I promise you’re the only one
Girl, you’re made for me
Now I laugh because Taryn looks like she can’t tell if she wants to kiss me or punch me. I knew choosing this song and not saying the words she expected to hear would drive her crazy. Before I lose my nerve and she actually does punch me, I pull the small velvet pouch from my other pocket and her beautiful eyes immediately widen.
“Taryn, baby, I don’t want to live one day of my life without you by my side. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that we are meant to be together, forever and always. I love you, Peaches…will you marry me?”
Before the last word of the proposal that I’ve practiced for weeks is out of my mouth, she throws her arms around me and seals her lips to mine, leaving no doubt as to what her answer is. I gently pull back though and nose to nose, I say, “Although I like that answer, I need to hear you say it, sweetheart.” She laughs, obviously recalling the exact words I spoke a year to this day, right before we made love for the first time.
“Yes, dammit, I’ll marry you,” she says through a smile and tears, and I remove the ring from its pouch and slip it on her finger. I notice her hands are shaking and I look up to see tears flowing down her face. Knowing it’s not because of the size of the colossal rock I just placed on her hand, I pull her in for a hug and ask, “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You’re happy, right?”
She begins shaking, and this time I can tell she’s laughing. Now I’m the one who is confused. “Babe?” I ask. She pulls away from me and reaches into her purse, pulling out a slip of paper.
With the same nervous look she wore before we arrived at our picnic spot, she says, “I actually wrote something for you too. But before you hear it, I was wondering…you didn’t happen to talk to my dad, did you?”
“Actually, I did,” I reply, proud of myself for remembering to ask her father’s permission as is customary, especially in the South.
“And?”
“He said, ‘when are ya gonna bring my daughter back to Texas?’” I tell her and she laughs.
“Sounds about right. Thanks for doing that,” she says sincerely.
“Taryn, I would do anything for you, never doubt that,” I say with equal sincerity.
“I’m glad to hear you say that,” she responds and then opens up the folded piece of paper. “Now don’t judge, I just wrote this today.” Before I can ask why she wrote a song for me today, she begins to sing…well, rap. Sort of.
We’ve been through so much, it’s never been easy
When we first met, I thought you were sleazy
Got to know you better and saw I was wrong
All started with that very first song
Yeah you took my heart, I gave you my body
‘Cause you’re you and it helps that you’re a hottie
I can’t help rolling my eyes but I’m also laughing, primarily at my country girl’s attempt at rapping. She definitely should not quit her day job.
You’re the yin to my yang
The icing on my cake
The song in my heart
You’re the one that makes my knees shake
You think of me in everything that you do
When I want to talk
You’re the one I always turn to
You give me everything I need
And you always make my day
When the going’s gotten rough
You’ve never walked away
What I’m trying to convey
But I really don’t know how
&nbs
p; Is that I’m carrying your child
Right here and right now
Not sure how it happened
Or exactly which day
But you’re going to be a dad
Trace, what do you say?
I’m not laughing now…I’m fucking speechless. Say what? Here I was, trying to surprise the hell out of her, and now I’m the one completely floored. “Trace?” she asks, sounding anxious again.
“You’re having my baby?” I ask, putting both of my hands on her stomach. She nods, biting her lower lip. I immediately capture those lips and kiss her—not caring that we’re in a public park, not worrying about who might see, not thinking about anything or anyone except my soon-to-be wife, the love of my life, who is going to be the mother of my child.
If I thought my life was complete before, I had no fucking idea. Even the prospect of becoming a father just elevated my happiness to a whole new level and I feel like I’m floating above the earth, with nothing that could ever bring me back down.
“Oh, and Trace?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?” I ask, though my head is definitely still somewhere in the clouds.
“Thought you might want to know…the doctor determined that I’m already a couple of months along. Oh, and he saw two heartbeats,” she adds, swiftly bringing me back to ground-level. “Looks like we’ve had more than one highly successful collaboration.”
The End
Don't miss Reputation, Regina's story...COMING WINTER 2014
Acknowledgements
Nevaeh Lee
To my husband, who has always provided for our family, enabling me to do crazy things like get a master’s degree I’ll probably never use and really crazy things like write a book.
To my children, who will never, ever read this ;) I love you more than any words I could ever express.