by Emily Snow
I was spiraling, bucking against him. “You like that?” he whispered gruffly in my ear. His other hand reached behind me and unhooked the top of my bathing suit. I could’ve stopped him, but I didn’t. A growl came from the heart of his throat as he stared at my full, bare chest.
I nodded my head at his question, my body begging him to continue. Who knew his fingers could be so magical? He was pushing in and out of me, circling his thumb across my clit. I was so close. My fingernails bit into his skin and he went faster, faster, faster, sending me higher and higher… but then he just stopped. Right when I was about to reach the point of it all. Right when I’d just gotten wet and swollen.
“What the hell are you doing?” I breathed raggedly, aggravated.
He smirked, looking into my eyes and pulling his fingers out of my bottoms. I wanted to beg for his fingers not to leave, but I didn’t. It would have been too embarrassing and shallow. “Since we’re only ‘friends,’ I can’t give you the full effect.”
I scowled at him. “You’re kidding.” He raised an eyebrow. “Right?
“No, Ellie. This right here isn’t what friends do to one another. Let’s just do this shit. I swear it’ll be fun. I’ll make it worth it. You have my word.”
“Gage, I—” Damn, what do I say?
“Nothing between us has to change,” he assured me. “It doesn’t have to be serious and I think if we try to continue this little battle going on between us, someone’s gonna get hurt. I want you; you want me. Let’s do it.” He gave a lazy smirk, kissed my neck, and I snickered.
I thought it over, replaying the conversation Montana and I had just moments ago, knowing he was right. I wanted to do more things with Gage than I thought, and with him giving me an orgasm the night before, I was desperate and in need of more. Gage’s touch was addicting, and I constantly craved more.
It was bad, but it felt good to be satisfied—to reach the point of bliss and not come down for hours. Gage was the closest I’d ever gotten to a guy and he was also my best bet, so I shrugged and thought to myself, Fuck it. Montana was right. I had to take risks and I was going to be taking a huge one with Gage Grendel.
“Okay,” I said right before kissing him and allowing him to finish what he started.
CAREFUL
Although the boys had a small gig the following day for a few high school students, they performed better than usual, and I never thought it was possible. Okay… maybe Gage performed better than usual. He was so energetic, so full of life, and his voice was so powerful that I actually thought he was singing to me. His deep voice was alluring and I couldn’t help but cheer and bounce on my toes when he would break down with a slower rhythm and his voice filled the stadium. The crowd (the girls especially) would go crazy, reaching their hands above for a feel of him. A blush crept up on me when I realized how bad I actually wanted to touch him myself.
The boys hooted and hollered as they stepped backstage, Gage coming back last and stealing a kiss from me. “You did great.” I grinned at him.
He lit up, his hazel eyes wide with astonishment. “You think so?”
I nodded and he stole another kiss. I melted.
“Did it for you.” Winking, he stepped around me and followed the boys, each of them going to separate dressing rooms. I couldn’t help but notice the familiar man with the peppery hair and business suit following Deed into his. Once again, his face was stern and Deed took glances over his shoulder, as if the man was going to do something to him. It weirded me out a little, but then my mind circled back to Gage again. For a moment, I thought his statement about singing so well for me was true. Was he really glad I’d agreed to this fling thing with him?
I sighed, spinning around and heading for the exit door. There were a few things I had to grow accustomed to. For instance, the girls who would rush to the back, eagerly waiting to have their thigh, ass, or tit signed. I didn’t want to be a witness to Gage signing boobs, so I stepped out and took in the steamy Orlando breeze. It was our last night, but we weren’t going to be leaving until the next day, which meant another night for the boys to go out and get wild.
I needed to skip out on the fun this time. I missed painting and drawing and wanted to get back at it. My ideas were running wildly, all a mix of Gage, waterpark slides, and spark-filled kisses in the pool.
I knew it was going to take the boys a while, so instead of waiting up to try and tell Gage I was skipping out, I found the truck and told Marco to take me back to the bus. The sun was still sitting high in the sky, and I cracked the window, indulging in the warm, fresh breeze.
Marco pulled up to the front of the bus and I told him to wait while I gathered my supplies. As soon as I was packed, I told him to take me to the nearest beach, gave Ben a call to tell him where I was headed so he wouldn’t panic, and then sat back to relax.
I arrived at the beach within an hour and found a good spot beside the pier with a perfect view of the setting sun. The wind was picking up, but it wasn’t too much to blow away my papers. It was best to go with drawing. When my hand started, it wouldn’t stop. It’d been a while and I felt rejuvenated.
After I was worn from drawing, I stood and snapped a few pictures of some of the seagulls at shore. Some were sitting perfectly in front of the rippling water and the setting sun, and I knew once I developed the pictures, it would be a beautiful sight to revisit. It would definitely be something to add to the collage of pictures I’d already taken.
The sun sank behind the horizon, making it harder for me to see. I packed my things, tucking them beneath my arm and walking along the shore. A few couples were walking by, hand-in-hand, and at the sight of them, I couldn’t help but think of Gage.
I’d shocked myself last night when I told him we could try more. I swore up and down I would never do it, but I just couldn’t say no. I was tired of lying to myself and tired of holding off. Plus, knowing no feelings had to be involved and that I could still do whatever I wanted was the best part. The worst part about it was Gage could still do what he wanted, and even though I knew it was going to upset me, I wasn’t going to be able to do or say much about it. It was his life and I was just a minor part of it. I had to keep looking at it that way—just as he was a minor part of my life.
We said we wouldn’t take it further than a casual fling, which involved kissing, hugging, maybe some cuddling, partying, and probably soon… sex. My cheeks sparked at the idea of having sex with Gage. Of course I knew it was going to be mind-blowing. What he could do with his mouth and hands was mind-blowing. I couldn’t imagine how great it was going to be with the muscle he carried in his boxers.
Soon, the moon had risen and the sun was nowhere to be found. I turned slowly to look at the body of water in front of me. The gentle ripples of the ocean reflected the glow of the moon like dark, exotic jewels. It was a soothing sight—one I could appreciate.
I enjoyed the times I could be calm and not panic. I enjoyed smiling, even though at first it felt odd to do so. When I moved in with Ben, it was the hardest thing to adjust to. His warmness, his funkiness, his hugs, and the way he smiled at me as if I were actually a human being.
Ben was the first person I opened up to about a lot of things. It was tough the first couple of months, and at some points I wanted him to just stop trying to make small talk with me and leave me alone. I was bitter… sad… alone. I was so used to spending time alone that whenever someone actually tried to be nice to me, I thought they were making a mockery of me.
Around the fifth or sixth month of living with Ben, I finally opened up to him—not completely, but enough to see if I could trust him. I had no choice but to put my faith in him. Since then, I knew I could trust him with my life. With my happiness. He wanted to give me the universe and, even though some thought he was unfit to be a role model, he’s the best damn father in the world to me. He gave me my space when I needed it—something my mom never gave me. He’d even given me my own room, and for that I was forever grateful.
I�
�d never had my own bedroom before, even though I was an only child. My mom rented a one-bedroom apartment and selfishly kept it all to herself. I had the rock-hard, lumpy sofa in the living room. The little bit of clothes I did have were folded neatly in the corners or hung in the living room closet.
Thinking about how low I started in life brought tears to the rims of my eyes, and the passageway between my lungs and mouth closed in, making it harder for me to breathe. It burned, but I blinked quickly, inhaling to get rid of the memories. I couldn’t cry again. I hated crying because I was stronger now. It wasn’t worth it to look back. As I’d told myself over and over again, it was the past and it was never going to happen again. She never again had to be a part of my life for as long as I lived. I knew with Ben by my side I would never have to look back. He promised me, and ever since, he was true to his word.
At the thought of the safety Ben provided, I inhaled again, breathing and nodding until I felt stable enough to take a step toward the water. Breathe. Calm down and breathe, Eliza.
“What are you doing out here by yourself?” a deep voice asked from behind me, causing me to spin around quickly.
I gasped as Gage took slow strides toward me, his head tilted and a soft smirk on his lips. The jeans he wore were snug but loose. His hair was perfectly and deliciously tousled. He had on a light-grey muscle T-shirt along with matching light-grey Chuck Taylors. Oh, how he loved his Chuck T’s. Although his clothes were basic and casual, he looked completely irresistible. Amazingly delectable.
I cleared my throat softly, straightening myself, but the smile that had once been gracing his lips faded once he caught sight of my depressing features and glistening eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked, stepping closer.
“Fine.” I waved him off, running my other hand across my nose. I tightened my grip around the bag of my art supplies and then looked into his concerned eyes. “How did you know where I was?”
He smiled faintly. “Benny boy.”
“Of course,” I sighed, returning the faint smile.
“Seriously, though,” he said, gazing around at the empty beach, “why are you out here alone? I waited for you on your bus, but an hour passed and there was still no sign of you. After another two hours, I thought I’d come check up on you.”
“I did some drawing and painting. It’s been a while. Thought I’d get away from you and the boys for one night to do what I love.” I shrugged, forcing a smile. “Why aren’t you out partying with them anyway?”
Gage looked down at the art supplies tucked beneath my arm and then into my eyes again. “I thought it’d be more fun to hang with you. I thought maybe you would have wanted to join us, but seeing as you ran off without telling us anything, I guess I was wrong.” He smirked.
“It’s not that.” I laughed, adjusting the heavy supplies beneath my arm. “I just had to clear my head, you know?”
Gage nodded, licking his dry bottom lip. He then took a slow step toward me to take the supplies from beneath my arm as if he felt my struggle. He placed the bag down on the sand and then gazed into my eyes, his meek and adorable. “Sometimes nights off are good.” He inhaled, then exhaled, taking a look around. “How about we take a walk?”
I grinned, excited at the thought, but I didn’t want to keep him from his fun. As much as I would’ve loved to walk with Gage, I sort of knew he would like partying with his band more. “Gage, I don’t wanna hold you back. It’s fine. Really. If you wanna hang with them, go ahead. I can’t stop you.”
“You aren’t stopping me. If I really wanted to party tonight, I wouldn’t have wasted time coming here.” My lips twisted morosely and he chuckled. “But as I’ve said before, we only have a few weeks to share. I have pretty much the rest of my life with them. I’m sure it’ll be just as fun with you as it is with them. I don’t mind, Ellie.”
Unwinding my lips, I smiled up at him and his head tilted adorably. He revealed a boyish grin and then, unexpectedly, bent down to untie his shoes. “What are you doing?” I giggled.
“Just bought these. Don’t need ‘em getting wet or dirty.”
I smirked at him and as soon as his socks and shoes were off and I kicked my flip-flops to the side, I grabbed the hand he offered and we began our peaceful walk along the shore.
For the most part, my walk with Gage was entertaining. What amused me most was that his hand hardly left mine and if it did, it was so he could hook his arm around my shoulders and pull me in against him. It was comforting to be next to him—to laugh with him and tease him. The feeling was unfamiliar, but I enjoyed it. I was getting accustomed to smiling, grinning, blushing, and teasing.
He didn’t seem to mind much, either.
I noticed one thing about Gage I thought was weird, though. Whenever I would ask him about his family or his past, he would brush me off and change the subject. I grew suspicious, but I wasn’t one to pressure anyone into talking. I hated when people pressured me, so I just left it alone.
But then Gage asked something that completely caught me off guard…
“Are you still going to talk to Cal and Montana?”
I stared up at him blatantly, my eyes stretching. “Why would you assume I was talking to either of them?”
“You stare at them a lot. Talk to them a lot.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Probably more than me.”
I laughed, thinking in the back of my mind how he had no clue how much I stared at him. There wasn’t even a comparison in this situation. Had there been a chart, Gage’s side would have skyrocketed and outshone both of theirs. Montana didn’t even pique my interest. He was only a friend—almost like a long-lost brother. Although Cal did have a nice body, Gage had more for me to look at. “I don’t stare,” I corrected. “I admire.”
“Well… admire. Whatever. Do you find them more interesting than me?”
“No,” I blurted. Right after, I was embarrassed, especially when he grinned at me. “You’re just being really silly right now. Montana and I are just friends, just like Cal.”
“On a scale of one through ten, what am I to you, Ellie?”
“Ten being the hottest?” I asked, smiling at him.
He nodded, waiting for an answer.
“I’d have to give you a two. You’re all right,” I teased.
He laughed heartily. “Yet you admire. I must not be too shabby for those eyes.”
I giggled as he circled his arms around my waist. “What about Penelope?” I asked as he inched in closer.
The inching stopped abruptly as he stared into my eyes, his suddenly hard. “What about her?”
“Are you going to keep talking to her?”
He shrugged. “No.”
My head tilted. “How do I know that?”
“Because Penelope isn’t as much fun as you are. She talks too much, whines too much. She asks for everything.”
“And you think I wouldn’t do the same?” I forced myself not to laugh at how aggravated his face had become.
“I know you wouldn’t do the same. It may have only been a few days, but I can already see how you are.”
“And how am I?” I urged. God, why was I being so demanding?
Instead of answering right away, Gage placed a kiss on my cheek. I sparked on the inside, bubbling over. The bubbling swelled as he kissed the left corner of my mouth. His tongue traced its way across the line of my lips and mine parted, begging for a taste of him, but he pulled back. “You’re different—difficult to figure out sometimes, but different.”
I could agree on that. Who wanted to be easy to figure out? I circled my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, and his grip tightened around my waist. I was centered perfectly between his body and he towered over me, smiling so adorably that I couldn’t help but admire him.
How could a man be so flawless, so gorgeous? If he had any imperfections, I couldn’t see them. All I could see was this perfect man with the perfect hair and the perfect kisses. The perfect touch, perfect tongue. Thinking of his tongue caused a sh
iver to crawl along my spine, and my legs stiffened, but I held on to him. He didn’t have the best personality, but at least he was done trying to get under my skin. All he wanted was my attention. I could give him that much.
“Let’s make the next few weeks as fun as possible,” Gage said, placing a kiss on the bend of my neck.
“How?” I breathed. It almost mixed with a moan. His lips on my neck always made me tingle. It was my spot—the perfect place to get me going.
“There are a million ways… Most of them can be done with your body and mine… together” His voice rumbled near my ear, so deep, so husky, and I spiraled as he kissed the lobe. “I want my hands all over you. Your skin on mine.” His grip on my waist tightened even more and I yelped as he picked me up, and I circled my legs around his waist. He tasted the skin on my neck, licked, sucked, and licked some more with deep groans. I was biting on my lower lip fiercely, getting completely flushed as one of his hands cupped my ass. He was so strong. It was as if I were a feather in his arms.
Gage brought his lips to mine again and I devoured them greedily. That fast he’d turned me on. I was burning inside, craving something—anything to satisfy me. The most I had at the moment was his lips and his tongue, and his tongue worked wonders as it coaxed and stroked mine.
His arousal caved into me and he grunted, lowering his head to place another feverish kiss on my neck. “I can do so much to you, Sweet Ellie,” he murmured, bringing his lips back up to touch my ear. “You just don’t know it yet.”
Little did he know how bad I wanted him to go through with his words. I wanted him to do anything with my body. Flashbacks of his tongue circling around my core, driving me higher and higher to a climax, came to mind, and I whimpered, pressing my cheek against his. All of a sudden I felt defeated, especially as he whispered, “Not here, though, Eliza.” I would’ve given anything to feel that kind of pleasure again, but he was right. Not here. Not on a beach.