Stuart wondered at his protectiveness toward this woman. Normally, he didn’t pry into their love lives and dalliances unless it posed a major problem for the band. Could there be something going on between them? Nah, JT was too smart to get involved with a married woman. He was probably worried about getting sued by her husband. But still, he wondered.
“Look,” he said, “we’re not going to get anything settled by pointing fingers. She’s okay, and she’ll never go up on the catwalks again alone. Why don’t we call it a night? I still have the rest of the band to round up from the bar downstairs. It’s almost time for last call, and I don’t want anyone else wandering off and getting into trouble.”
JT shrugged, feeling distinctly itchy in his sweaty stage clothes, desperately wanting a shower. “All right, Stu. But we’re agreed that she never, ever goes up there in the future?”
“You think I ever want to see you this pissed off again?”
JT smirked. “No. You don’t.”
****
JT quietly let himself into her dark room. He’d taken her room key when he left, knowing she wouldn’t be going anywhere in her lightheaded state, and figuring she also wouldn’t notice it was gone.
He silently made his way to her bedside and looked down at her still form under the blankets; her earlier silly smile and later look of utter terror had been replaced by quiet serenity. The peaceful appearance clashed with her dirt-smudged face and skewed pony tail. I really didn’t want anyone to worry about. Didn’t need it. But here you are, and now what am I to do with myself?
Her whisper came floating through the darkness. “Is that you, JT?”
“Shh, go back to sleep. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I wasn’t asleep. The room keeps spinning, and it’s making me queasy. Will you stay with me, JT? Please?”
Every molecule of his being screamed that staying was the worst idea, but he was powerless to tell her no right now. He struck a compromise with his conscience, and dragged the easychair next to the bed. “I’ll be right here if you need me,” he said.
“No.” She sounded disappointed.
“No?”
“No. I want you next to me. Please. I feel so strange from all that smoke. And I’m so cold.”
“No, love. We both know that’s a bad idea,” he said with obvious regret.
“Lay on top of the covers, then.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Please, JT?”
Do I have to explain? What being even this close to you does to my self-control? Dammit, woman. “I’m already keyed-up from stalking around the stage like a randy seventeen-year-old. Then going down that ladder, your ass was right in my face. Should I go on, Kori?”
She was silent for a long moment. “I guess not.”
He touched her shoulder softly. “I’ll hold your hand,” he said quietly.
She pulled her hand from under the blanket and placed it in his. JT raised it to his lips and lightly kissed the back. “Happy dreams, Kori.”
His hand in hers made the world stop spinning, and soon she was asleep. JT stretched his legs and propped his feet on the mattress next to hers and yawned. Just make sure she’s soundly asleep and then finally go get that shower. The soft sound of her breathing lulled him into an exhausted doze.
He nearly fell from the chair when her cry of “NO!” startled him awake.
“Huh? What? What’s the matter?”
Korina sat up in the bed. “Oh, God, no!” She covered her face with her hands, a futile effort to stop the nightmare images playing through her mind.
JT was immediately at her side, smoothing his hand over her hair. “It’s alright, love. It was just a bad dream.”
She turned her face into his chest, and he wrapped her tightly in his arms. “Do you want to talk about it?” She shook her head. “Do you want me to stay?”
“Please. I don’t want to be alone after that. I can’t stop seeing…” she trailed off, not finishing her thought.
“Seeing what, love?” he urged.
“I…I don’t want to talk about it, JT. It was only a nightmare.”
“I’ll stay all night if you need me to, love, but I have got to wash off the stage sweat. Will you be okay for five minutes?”
She nodded and reached for a cigarette.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes, and I promise to smell better,” he smiled, then kissed her forehead, his arms aching to hold her again and soothe all the worry from her eyes.
JT retreated to his hotel room, leaving a trail of sweaty clothing from the door to the bathroom. He turned on the hot tap and waited impatiently for the steam to arrive.
Korina heard the water running, and was again overcome with the dry remnants of grief from her nightmare. On the few other occasions when she’d gotten high, she saw strange things while awake but always slept like a boulder afterward, and awoke refreshed, like she’d slept for days. And she never remembered dreaming on those nights, nevermind having a nightmare. “It doesn’t mean anything,” she mumbled. “Mark will be just fine. Nothing’s going to happen to him.”
Then why can’t I shake this feeling that it was more than a passing bad dream?
****
JT didn’t trust himself alone with her. He wanted her. Performing always keyed up his hormones, and being so close to her firm, voluptuous body was going to prove difficult. Still, I made a promise. Two, in fact.
One, that I wouldn’t touch her anymore. At least, not in a desirous way. And two, that I’d come back and stay with her because of the nightmare. And I have no intention of sleeping in the chair. He sighed, regretting what he needed to do to be near her all night, and disgusted that he had to in order to keep both of those promises. At least it shouldn’t take long, he thought as he rubbed his soap-slicked hands over his arousal. I’ve been walking around half-hard since she had her ass in my face on that ladder.
Images of her face, soaked with passion, flooded his mind as his hand worked over his cock. Could almost hear her quiet moans of pleasure as he imagined his mouth roaming over her soft skin. He leaned his back to the cold tile, letting the steaming water wash over him as he pleasured himself. “Oh, yes, love, that’s the way,” he murmured; the heat and moisture of the shower was her mouth on him, his hand her tongue and lips. He lost himself in the vision, skating ever closer to the brink of satisfaction.
He felt the desire coiling tightly inside. Brushing his thumb over his tip; that was her throat as he buried himself deep in her mouth. “Don’t stop, sweetheart, take it all…” His hand stroked frantically, the first tiny twinges of his orgasm escalating to powerful pulses. He erupted over his fisted hand, immediately filled with self-loathing. He felt hollow, the physical satisfaction fulfilled, but the emotional void was deeper. He missed the cuddling afterward. But I’ll get that soon enough, he reminded himself as he rinsed his hand clean.
He toweled off quickly and pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt, then briskly rubbed a towel over his dripping head. He hated sleeping with wet hair, but in this case, it was unavoidable. He wanted to return as soon as he could.
Kori was sitting on the bed hugging her knees to her chest when he walked into her room. He sat on the bed, pulling her close. “You okay?”
She sighed. “I am now. It just took a little while to pass.” She pulled the band from her ponytail, letting her hair cascade over her shoulders.
“Would a little snuggle help, love?” He brushed his lips over her hair. Oh, so soft… That’s all, JT. Keep it together, man….
“Yeah. I’m so tired.” She shifted to lay down and he followed, wrapping her in his arms. She molded her body to fit against his and made a little sound of pleasure as he pulled her in deeper. “Thanks, JT. I don’t think I could have even thought of going back to sleep if I was alone.”
He yawned. “S’alright, love. I prefer to sleep this way, myself.” He swallowed any further comments. The warmth of the blankets, and of each other’s body so close, so
on had them both asleep.
****
He’d been easy on her last night because of the inadvertent high and then the nightmare. This morning was something else entirely. Kori seemed out of sorts, and her claimed ignorance of the content of her nightmare did nothing to calm his temper. He found it incredulous that something which bothered her so deeply the previous night, and seemed to be affecting her current mood, was something she couldn’t recall at all.
“God dammit, you are the most stubborn, infuriating woman I’ve ever met! Whatever possessed you to pull a stunt like that?” JT’s eyes flashed cold green fire.
“You. My contract,” she said flatly. She met his angry stare with one of her own.
JT crossed his arms over his chest and growled, “It doesn’t say anything about putting yourself in danger, Korina.”
“I wasn’t in danger, I was terrified. My fear of high places never put me in harm’s way, JT. And the pictures will show it was worth it.”
They’d been arguing for almost an hour, neither one willing to budge.
Korina stared at JT for a long moment, her eyes unreadable. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, and what she said completely surprised him. “I remember someone gave me some very wise advice not too long ago, about following my heart and not being afraid to be afraid.”
He held her now-calm clear blue gaze, and she watched the understanding slowly creep into his eyes. I was talking about her writing then, but I can see how this would apply to everything about her. God, I’ve been stupid. She seems so familiar, like I’ve known her forever. I keep forgetting that this is still all new to her.
“Can I give you another piece of advice, Kori? The only stupid questions are the ones that should have been asked but weren’t. Never be afraid to ask me anything. To ask any of us anything.”
That was the last thing she’d expected to hear.
She nodded her head slowly. “So, is this a truce, then?”
“I never thought we were at war. But, yeah, I guess it is.”
“And you’re not one of those people who love I-told-you-so’s, are you? You won’t throw this back in my face later?”
“Now, I never said that. I do my share of those. But no, not with this one. It’s over. Not forgotten, I hope, but done. Fair enough?”
“Deal.” She considered his words, deciding to be bold with him for a change. “JT, can I ask you something, then?”
“I said you could ask me anything, Kori.”
She chewed at her bottom lip and took a deep breath. Forward ho. “What, exactly, do you want from me?”
JT appeared pensive, and his eyes held a faraway look as he stood near the window. For the first time that morning, he was silent. Korina wondered if he was choosing his words carefully to avoid misunderstanding or hurt.
In truth, JT was absolutely flabbergasted. What I wish is for you to be single, so this would not be an issue. Things would just happen between us as they would, and we’d take it step by step. But that wasn’t your question, now was it? “Personally or professionally, Kori?” he stalled.
“I think that contract has the ‘professionally’ part about covered, don’t you?” she replied, sensing he was trying to avoid a direct answer. But dammit, she needed one. He was confusing the hell out of her. And that was nothing compared to what she was doing to herself. “I meant on a personal level, JT.” She crossed her arms and continued to stare.
The very thing he’d been wondering himself these last few days. I want you, love. I want to see your smile before I see anything else each morning. I want your arms around me when I feel alone, to hear you laugh when I’m being silly. I want your opinion before I make a decision. I want to share your days, your nights and your bed. I want to touch you, taste you, make love to you. I want to know all about you, and tell you all about myself. Hopes, fears, wishes, dreams. I want to protect you from all the hurts the world has lying in wait for you, and to pick you up and hold you close when one of them sneaks through anyway.
Ahh, damn. What I want is for you to be free to do all this without guilt or regrets. I want to tell you that I think I’m falling for you, wrong as that may be. I want to hear you say the same about me. We share a connection that is exquisite and rare, and I don’t want to lose it. It’s intoxicating, and I think it’s also why every one of my previous relationships failed. But bloody hell, you belong to someone else…
And what I feel, what I want, scares the living crap out of me.
He knew she was waiting for some sort of answer. He stared out the window as he spoke. “I, uh, I don’t really know, Korina. I’ve just been… reacting.” He met her gaze then, hoping she believed him.
Her eyes said she knew there was more to it than that. Much more.
She threw him a look that made him feel like a little boy caught telling a fib. She was completely unaware of her single cocked eyebrow as she continued to hold his eyes. That eyebrow had a mind of its own, and tended to fly up whenever it pleased.
“Would you like to know what I want from you?” she asked quietly.
Suddenly nervous, the tip of his tongue swept over his bottom lip as he nodded.
“Truth. Just simple, honest truth.” She was sitting on the bed cross-legged, and looked down at her fidgeting hands. “I’m trying to figure out where I’m going, what I’m doing, where I want my life to go from here. I don’t feel certain about anything anymore.”
She immediately regretted her words. The shreds of the nightmare still drifted through her mind, coloring everything she did and thought today. She felt the need to put her life in order, due in no small part to that dream, which now felt more like a warning than a nightmare.
Ten
Korina sat apart from the lively group on the afternoon flight to Denver, needing time alone with her thoughts. The warm cabin and the steady roar of the jet engines soon had her dozing.
JT sat next to Rafe, across the aisle from her and back one row, only half-listening to his seatmate, lost in his own thoughts. And surreptitiously watching Kori sleep in her reclined seat.
Her normally animated features were peaceful and still. His finger itched to trace the lines of her slightly parted lips. He tore his eyes away before he could actually do something so stupidly obvious.
He realized Rafe had fallen silent and was giving him a puzzled look.
“Eh, sorry, Rafe. I was just, uh, woolgathering. What did you ask me?”
Rafe stared at him knowingly. “Uh-huh. She’s married, mate,” he said quietly.
JT mustered an indignant glare. “I’m only looking.”
Rafe had been noticing JT watching her and pushed a little harder. “Too bad she’s off-limits, too. Man, she has a tight little body, and such a sweet ass.” He gave an exaggerated sigh.
JT took the bait, glaring harder at his friend. “You’ve been looking at her ass?”
“Why not? It’s such a perfect heart shape, and it’s hard not to notice in those tight jeans she wears.”
JT quashed the impulse to punch his friend square in the nose, but not before Rafe noticed.
“Watch yourself, JT,” he said. “The last thing we need is a pissed-off, jealous husband storming into the next town.”
“Are you implying something, Rafe?” JT nearly growled at him.
“I’m more than implying. I’m saying you should back off. I’ve seen how cozy the two of you have become.”
Rafe marveled at JT’s ability to look offended when confronted with the truth. But JT couldn’t hide his stronger accent when he was agitated. “I’ve only been trying to put her at ease. This is a whole new world for her.” JT stared at him hard. “We’re not foolin’ around, Rafe.”
“Good. Then it shouldn’t bother you if I watch that lovely ass whenever she goes by.” Rafe reclined his seat and smiled, closing his eyes and leaving JT to stew with his own thoughts.
***
The stench of pine cleaner and antiseptic was everywhere. The muted light and green-painted w
alls frazzled her nerves. She rounded the last corner, then paused outside his door, steeling herself for the heartbreaking vision of the once-robust man lying in the bed. With a final deep sigh, she pushed open the wide door with the steel kick-plate, and stepped inside.
Korina jerked herself awake with a whimper. Dammit! First last night, and now today. The same dream. Again, she was struck by how real it felt, both when she was immersed in it and now, afterward. She rarely had visions of future events, but when she did, they always felt the same. Tangible. Real. Retaining the flavor of a memory relived.
She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, not wanting to cry on the plane, surrounded by strangers. Well, near-strangers, anyway.
She longed for comforting arms around her, a soothing voice to tell her it that it was just a dream. There were only two sets of arms that could help; one was hundreds of miles away, and the other might as well be for all the comfort they could offer in such a public place. She closed her eyes, allowing a single tear to slip down her cheek. With fingers cold and shaking, she brushed it away.
JT had been looking at Rafe during their exchange, then glaring at the seatback in front of him after Rafe’s comment about Kori’s behind. Was it becoming that obvious? Or maybe it was only obvious to Rafe; they’d been close for so long they finished each other’s sentences. But still, that comment about her bum rankled. Not that he, himself, was in any position to—
His head jerked upright at the slight sound from the row of seats ahead. Korina’s eyes flew open, then drifted closed again as she swiped at her cheek. He noticed her hand trembling, and wondered if she’d had another bad dream. His arms ached to pull her into his chest and make it all right again.
He bit back a frustrated groan and simply stared at her, trying to think loud comforting thoughts, and hoped it would be enough.
****
After checking in at the front desk, Korina secluded herself in her room, ignoring all calls and knocks. JT, certain he could either coax her out or be allowed to come in, rapped twice and called softly through the door, “It’s me, Kori. Can we talk?”
Dream Me Off My Feet (Sex, Love, And Rock & Roll) Page 20