Dream Me Off My Feet (Sex, Love, And Rock & Roll)

by Kisner, Stevie

  “You knew what my aim was before Christmas, Kori. And it hasn’t changed. I want to marry you. You’re already the other half of me, the part I’d been missing that no one else can ever fill. I know the timing’s all wrong, and you can answer me when you’re ready. However long that takes. I love you. Please marry me, Korina.”

  Twenty-Eight

  Flit in and stay. Mark’s words flashed in green neon at the front of her brain all day. And oh, how she was tempted. Not tempted enough to give an answer yet, not with the guilt and regret still camping out in her heart.

  She’d left JT, knowing full well he’d picked up the probably, eventually response floating around in her head, to shower in her suite. She was sure the tears would start again when she stepped under the spray, but they didn’t. Maybe she had cried herself out. For now. The sadness was still there, but tempered by the comfort she found in Mark’s final words to her. He knew and he still loved me. Of all the possible scenarios she’d entertained, the ones where Mark knew of her relationship with JT did not include his understanding and his blessing. They didn’t include either one, actually, let alone both.

  Well, honey, I didn’t get to talk to you like I’d wished, but you did talk to me. And you were quite clear in what you wanted for me. Life with love. But can I say yes with my conscience so muddy? I don’t know. It’s not fair to restart my life with so much regret. Your letter soothed my heart. Can I let it soothe my guilt? Until I know, I can’t give JT the answer he wants to hear.

  Her thoughts twisted as she reviewed the reading comprehension questions with Zach that afternoon. Good thing he was an astute reader, because she wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention to his answers.

  When she got near JT at dinner, she picked up his love and hope. He didn’t try any mental conversations and she didn’t feel him probing into her head. She was all alone in there to figure out her own way. There was no question, really, of what she wanted. Quite neatly, it also happened to be the best thing for her, for Zach and for JT. And it felt perfectly right. So why couldn’t she just tell JT that she’d marry him?

  Stupid as it sounded, her thoughts kept centering around that dream and her neat little house on the fringes of Albuquerque. Packing it up, moving it here, leaving the place behind where she and Mark had carved out a home for their little family. Even if she could face that, could she stomach possibly selling the place? She’d never rent it out. Just the thought of some stranger living in those rooms, watching the flowers bloom in the spring, choosing whether or not to cut down the tree they’d planted when it was hardly more than a stick… nope. Even with her considerable imagination, the picture would not come.

  So, that was obstacle number one. Not too hard to handle, she supposed. They would work it so that she could keep the house and it wouldn’t fall into disrepair. She knew he had a few vacation homes, they were looked after somehow, and surely hers could be added to the list.

  Living in England, living in this palace of a house… she could get used to that. Zach would be out of kilter in school, but with a tutor, he could learn whatever he needed to catch up. Or maybe he’d just have a tutor, period. No, he’d never have friends that way. She’d need to figure that out, too. She knew Rafe lived in England and that he had kids. She’d have to find out what he did for their education.

  There. Obstacle number two addressed and ready to be handled. The practical stuff was out of the way.

  Which left Door Number Three. Johnny, won’t you show the lovely lady what she’s won today?

  Sure, Monty! It’s… a big stinking mess of emotional baggage! You get remorse, guilt, grief, regret, and a sprinkling of shame to add a little color. I know it looks like a huge pile, but it’ll all fit inside your head, don’t you worry! What a lucky lady you are!

  Kori didn’t want door number three. Why did she have to accept it? Regrets didn’t change anything. They couldn’t bring Mark back, and if she was honest with herself, did she want him to have lingered longer, had more pain? No. If her wishing could change the past, what she would have wanted was for him to never have been hurt in the first place, so that he never would have needed the medications that kept the pain at bay and killed his organs a little more every day.

  Guilt, shame and remorse. The terrible triumvirate. To be blunt, yes, she cheated on Mark with JT. Did it hurt him? Yes, he said as much to JT. But he also said the hurt was really irrelevant. Because it neither made Mark worse, nor did it shorten what time he had remaining. Actually, he wrote that it let him leave with a little hope for Kori’s future, knowing that she had comforting arms to turn to and a future to build with the one constant person from her past.

  Shame, now that was hers to own. Mark may have forgiven her, but she still owed herself a good beating for it. Not that she felt there was a lesson to be learned here. She certainly wasn’t going to cheat on JT with some other person whose head she’d been hanging out in since preschool. He was it. She had never been even tempted by another man since marrying Mark. Until JT and the undeniable power of the cords that bound them to each other for most of their lives. And would continue to bind them to each other, no matter what path she chose to take.

  She glanced at the clock, seeing it was nearly Zach’s bedtime, and set off to peel the Xbox controller from his hands. Last she’d known, he and JT were killing zombies in the television room.

  After promising they could slaughter more zombies in the morning, Kori sat on his bed and watched Zach brush his teeth in his bathroom. Zach loved having his own bathroom. Every bedroom in the house had one, and Zach’s was done in blue, his favorite color.

  After he’d climbed into bed, Kori bent down to give him a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Happy dreams.”

  “Goodnight, Mom. I’m glad your colors are bright again. Does that mean we’re gonna stay for a while?”

  “I think so, Zach.”

  “Good. I still haven’t checked out the pool.” He yawned and snuggled deeper into the blankets. Kori turned out the light and closed the door behind her as she left.

  Finding JT wasn’t difficult. She’d seen him go by, toting his acoustic guitar, while Zach was getting ready for bed. She walked down the hall to his closed bedroom door, hearing the soft strumming on the other side. She knocked and the playing stopped. “Come on in, Kori.”

  She opened the door to find him sitting cross-legged in the middle of his king-sized bed with the guitar resting on his thighs. He’d changed into flannel pajama pants and wasn’t wearing a shirt. Feeling suddenly nervous, Kori took only two steps in, leaving the door open behind her.

  Feeling his wispy probes at her mind, she rebuffed him and cleared her throat. This was something she needed to say out loud.

  For his part, JT noticed she looked ready to bolt, and had left the door open to be able to do so. When she closed him out of her head, he was sure she came to turn him down. He didn’t want to make it easy for her to leave him, and didn’t want Zach hearing him beg her to stay. Because he would. He got up to close the door, setting his guitar on an easychair at the foot of the bed. On the way back, he took her hand and led her to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. Her fingers were ice cold.

  He drew his fingertips down her cheek and leaned in to brush his lips over hers. One kiss, one last bit of tenderness before she breaks my heart and I can still pretend it’s all going to be alright. He slanted his mouth over hers again, praying she wouldn’t say no, would let him have his illusion for one brief moment longer. She responded with a sigh, then dropped her chin. He sat back and waited to be devastated.

  Kori cleared her throat again, clearly stalling for time. “JT, I’ve come to a decision.”

  Oh, don’t drag it on, love. Just crush me and get it over with. “Yeah?”

  She fidgeted with the seam on her jeans. “Yeah. I mean, yes.” She lifted her chin and met his eyes. “I want to marry you. There’s still some things we need to figure out, but-”

  JT cut her off with a kiss
, launching forward to flatten her on the bed.

  He held himself slightly above her, resting his weight on his elbows as he worshipped her mouth. “My love, my Kori,” me said between strokes of his lips over hers. “I was afraid,” he kissed her again, “you came to tell me no.”

  Kori skimmed her palms up his sides. “I couldn’t. You’re part of me.” She sucked at his bottom lip. “Always.”

  “And forever,” he finished, sweeping his tongue into her mouth to entwine with hers.

  Although it had been months since their last encounter in the elevator, there was no urgency in this kiss. Ever before, there had been an edge of haste to their lovemaking, as if their finding out each other were real had been against the rules and could be taken away at any moment.

  JT trailed his lips lightly down her neck, pausing to tease at the sensitive curve near her shoulder. Kori uttered a soft cry and dug her fingers into his back.

  – Like that, do you?

  **You know that’s my melting spot. Keep that up and I’ll be a puddle.

  Kori heard his deep chuckle, both in her mind and her ears. The vibrations sent shivers up her spine and her nipples tingled in anticipation. Her breath left her in a rush

  Wanting to let at least one hand roam, and needing to feel more of her against his body, JT gradually shifted his weight to sink Kori further into the plush comforter. The soft cradle of her thighs welcomed him (home) and he rolled his hips, groaning into her skin. She gave an answering rock and slipped one hand to the nape of his neck.

  He dragged his free hand down her side to cup the sweet curve of her backside and press her more firmly into his cock. Hissing in a breath, he tried desperately to crank down his arousal, afraid he would come before either of them even got any clothes off.

  His desire shot straight into her head, but instead of being overcome, she opened her mind and sent a blast right back. He shuddered and closed his eyes.

  –But I wanted to be slow, sweetheart. It’s been so long since I’ve actually had you in my arms.

  **Slow can wait, my love. I don’t want to. I need to feel you complete me.

  It wasn’t her words that scrambled his patience; it was the endearment she’d never even thought at him before. Rising to his knees, he reached for the hem of her shirt with shaking hands and inched it upward. I still want to savor this, just a little.

  As his fingertips blazed heat over her stomach, Kori’s own tolerance flew out the window and she grabbed a handful of his flannel pants and tugged. As the waistband slid lower, she was somehow unsurprised to find he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. He inhaled sharply as the cloth dragged down over his erection. All thought of waiting dissolved. He yanked her shirt higher and she pulled it over her head, then grabbed the bottom of her cotton sports bra and did the same.

  With hands now a little steadier, JT undid the fastenings of her jeans and peeled them down her hips. She kicked them the rest of the way off and tossed them onto the floor.

  Little cotton bikini panties have never looked sexier. Even so, they have to go.

  Kori slipped them off, muttering, “I heard that.”

  JT quirked a half-smile and put his hand where the little slip of cotton had just been. “So ready,” he murmured, then lifted his fingers for a taste. “And so sweet.”

  He nudged her legs a little wider, but instead of heading inside, he rubbed the tip of his arousal over the slippery folds instead. Kori shifted underneath him and groaned.

  **Don’t tease.

  –I need a minute, love. I’m ready to explode.

  He dropped his head and took a few long, slow breaths, something she’d seen him do often to calm himself before he took the stage. Lifting his chin, his entrancing stare captured hers and she forgot that she needed air. Longing, desire, and a strong undercurrent of love beamed straight into her soul, and she felt so complete she wanted to cry.

  Without warning, he tilted her hips and sheathed himself inside with one thrust. Kori gasped and reached blindly for whatever body part she could touch. JT dropped his weight to his forearms to feel more of her skin with his own. He captured her lips with a groan and she answered his kiss with a hunger he’d never seen her display before.

  –Whole. I am whole with you.

  He started a gentle slide, matching the rhythm of his tongue dancing with hers. He never broke his kiss; sometimes sipping at her lips, other times with such intensity their teeth touched. His hips echoed the motion until he was hammering inside, kissing so deeply he didn’t know where she started and he ended. Their passion exchanged so completely, no words came through the connection they shared. It was an endless loop of give and take, feeding, escalating until they were one desire, one body, one mind.

  Kori felt the first throb of her climax and moaned. JT experienced it with her, holding off on his own until the contractions around him slowed. His control was fraying and he let it go; together they rode the waves of his release, triggering another one for her. As she squeezed around him, he shot pulse after pulse inside.

  –Sweet Christ, Kori, I’m coming apart. It’s not stopping.

  He shivered and tried to catch his breath. His hips flexed all on their own and she angled deeper to accept all he had to give her.

  **This is us, and it’s perfect.

  The pleasure swirled between them until JT had nothing left to give and still his cock twitched and pulsed. He thought the top of his head just might blow off and he forced his hips to slow by sheer stubborn will.

  “Holy fucking hell,” he gasped, finally ending their kiss. His collapsed on top of her, then shifted a bit to relieve her of his weight.

  Kori’s eyes were glazed and only half-open; all she could do was mumble and breathe.

  **So this is what true trust is like. I think it might kill me.

  JT chuckled and gathered her in his arms. Kori laid her head on his chest and, with the lullaby of his heartbeat in her ear, drifted off to sleep.

  Epilogue

  Kori hummed as she perused the stacks of boxes in the garage, deciding which to unpack next. They’d arrived from Albuquerque two weeks ago, right before the wedding, and she’d been too busy to do more than make sure they were all there. After all, JT had written the shipping address on some of them, and his handwriting was notoriously awful. The band had long insisted that he typed the lyrics he wrote once they were final, as even his printing was so stylized that they recorded an entire chorus wrong once and had to redo it. Rafe, who had custody of their tape vaults, had played the recording of it for her over the phone and she’d collapsed on the floor in giggles.

  “We knew he hadn’t actually written something about putting a naked mannequin on the front lawn and going jogging wrapped in a shower curtain,” he said as she struggled to catch her breath, “but we did it to make a point. He kept insisting that his writing was fine and we were just being wankers.”

  She decided to tote a box of Zach’s up to his room and leave it for him to unpack. He was currently with his tutor, cramming British history into his head to get caught up with his grade level so he could start school in the fall. He’d be going to the same private school as JT’s nieces and nephews, so he wouldn’t feel too awkward. They’d all bonded over video games in February and saw each other nearly every week since. JT doted on his sisters’ children and spoiled them completely rotten.

  As she made the trek from garage to bedroom, she noticed the touches of her old home scattered throughout the house. Photographs on the walls, knickknacks on tables and shelves, and although she couldn’t see it right now, she knew Josie Bear was reclining against the pillows on her and JT’s bed. JT had insisted, and she didn’t protest. She had won the argument over the bear attending the wedding (it didn’t).

  She had lost the argument over her wedding ring, however. It did have a disgustingly huge (in her opinion) diamond on it. They had decided to embellish the simple gold band Mark had given her with engraving on the outside, and their wedding date on the in
side. Instead, JT had had it surrounded by platinum and added a two-carat diamond. He surprised her at the ceremony with it, making sure she saw the engraving inside: Cherry & Josie, Always Together. Sometimes his romantic nature still left her dumbfounded. But then again, other than in his lyrics, he’d never displayed it to its full extent with anyone. Until now.

  Kori set the box on Zach’s bed and decided to go find her husband instead of finding another box. Last she’d seen him, he was on the phone with Rafe, still trying to convince him to have the band record the song Rafe had written for their wedding. JT was certain it could be a monster hit, and Rafe was insistent that was his gift to them and it should stay private.

  Images of their wedding in the back garden played through her head as she set out for the den. Her knee-length turquoise dress, his electric stare that plainly said he couldn’t wait to take it off of her, the band playing at the reception with Rafe and Paul taking turns singing, and (she tried to block this one but it didn’t work) her tripping in the grass in her high-heeled shoes. She traded them for tennis shoes right after the ceremony. She’d wanted to change out of the dress, too, but JT wasn’t having any part of that. He’d never seen her in a dress before (and she said he probably wouldn’t again, either) and he insisted she leave it on until he could remove it himself later.

  Kori poked her head into the den, but JT wasn’t there. She doubled back to the music room, but he wasn’t in there, either. Deciding there was probably only one other place he’d be, she headed down the steps at the end of the hall.

  Sure enough, as she got to the bottom of the stairs, she heard music playing from the studio. It was Rafe’s song, but a little different. She stopped in the doorway. JT had his back to her, leaning over the mixing board; he didn’t see her until he turned to his computer to tinker with something on his Protools program. He smiled as digitized violins surged over the acoustic guitar of their song. “See, Rafe? It sounds fantastic with some added strings.”