by Jordan Dane
Kendra didn’t sit. She paced through the tall grass at his back. She’d never invaded his privacy before. It felt wrong. He sat there and waited for her to attack him.
I gotta do this.
When she was ready, Kendra stopped directly behind him and found balance in the blue sky that filtered through Rafael’s dazzling Indigo blue aura. She centered on the largest cloud and felt her way to him. Connecting to him had always been easy. She sensed him everywhere and gasped at the beauty of his essence, the parts he let her see and feel. She saw God in the Indigo soul.
To attack Rafael, a guy who had seen too much pain in his life, felt like a sin, but she did it for the good of the others. Whatever she would do to him, she knew it would hurt her too. How could it not?
Kendra winced as she ramped up her hit on him, for real. The cliff, the blue sky and even Rafael shifted into black and white, like an old photograph, until everything shrank to a pinpoint and got replaced by total darkness. The birds, the wind and the sound of the Indigo children laughing behind her had shut down fast, like a sucking vacuum that popped her ears. It took time for her eyes to adjust to the void. When swirls of gray broke through, she saw her first glimpse into Rafael.
Massive walls took shape with clangs of metal, strong and impenetrable. They glistened like black obsidian. She stood in the dark at the center of a shadowy maze. Wherever she turned, the labyrinth shifted to form new patterns, like formidable chess pieces blocking her way. Each path reflected back, slick as glass.
In the dim light, she saw her face projected across countless mirrors. Every image captured a different memory she’d shared with Rafe—a smile, a touch and quiet conversations after midnight when neither of them could sleep. She saw her face everywhere, images that had been captured through his eyes.
Rafael? What are you showing me?
She projected her thoughts and reached out to him. He didn’t answer her, but more images came in rapid succession. There were more of the same, until she finally understood. Rafael was showing his love for her. He wasn’t hiding or shielding how he felt. He meant for her to see and feel it.
Kendra finally saw the countless ways he showed his feelings for her, in everything he did, every small gesture, the gifts he’d stolen to give her, pretending he’d bought them all. Why hadn’t she seen it before? She’d been stupid and thoughtless, but most of all, she didn’t deserve his love.
Please...stop. I can’t...
Kendra felt her heart beat faster as she ran through the black chasm of mirrors with her face staring back, a face she didn’t recognize anymore. She should have let the warmth of Rafael’s love embrace her, but she didn’t deserve to be happy. She ran for the darkest corners of his mind and pushed through the shields that he’d placed in her way, until she broke free.
Deeper in the darkness she heard angry voices and the crush of fists smacking flesh. The grating sounds were muffled in the distance and masked by the voice of a child. It shocked her that the child’s laughter made her anxious. Her skin prickled as if fingernails scratched across a chalkboard. She’d heard the laugh before, yet couldn’t quite place it.
When she turned to look for the child, a billowing swell of shadows edged closer. A wall of black rain rumbled loud and swallowed everything in its path. Kendra knew she’d never outrun it, but instinct took over. As she ran through the harsh thick rain, it pummeled her with oozing, dripping oil. The smell was toxic and ugly. It clung to her hair and coated her face.
The stench smothered her and made it impossible to breathe. She had to stop running. Her lungs burned with every gasp. When she looked down at her arms and hands, the beads of thick black oil magnified to reveal what they held inside. Every drop glistened with an awful memory that cut into her with a sharp sting, while the child’s laughter grew louder.
Kendra knew she’d broken through his shield. He wouldn’t have opened this door for her to walk through, not if he loved her. The dark waters of Rafael’s past rushed in fast and swept over her, threatening to drown her. She thrashed in panic and she panted for air as if it would be her last breath, but when a new reality exploded in a rush, she wanted to scream. No storm. No dark waters or putrid-smelling oil. She was in a dark, messy room and a man came at her swinging a baseball bat. Kendra cringed and ducked.
No! Stop! she called out to the man, but he didn’t listen.
6
Stewart Estate
When the angry man in Rafael’s memories rushed into Kendra—colliding and slicing through her body as if she were invisible—she felt his rage cut through her. She turned to see where he’d gone and stared into the terrified face of Rafael when he was only a boy. Stop! Don’t do it, she begged, but the man couldn’t hear her.
Whatever she saw now had already happened. All she could do was watch.
Kendra heard the pounding. The smell of blood made her sick and she shivered at the gut-wrenching crack of bone. She collapsed to her knees and covered her aching stomach with her arms, but nothing could distance her from the abuse. Rafe had fought back. She felt his defiance and his shame. He survived his father’s assault and ran away from home, barely able to walk, but flashes of his memories, homeless on the streets of L.A., were worse. Rafael had done unthinkable things to survive.
Kendra broke down, sobbing.
“I got a shitload of crap in my head, but if you can get at it, it’s yours.” Rafael’s voice came to her and reminded her of the risk he’d taken.... “Hit me first. I can take it.”
She wanted to stop and get out, but when she remembered where she’d heard the laughter of the child, she stayed for Rafe’s sake...and her own. That’s when she saw Benny again. Seeing the dead boy’s sweet face, alive and happy through Rafael’s memories, broke her heart. She ached for his loss, but she now understood why the child’s voice, contaminated by the anger of Rafe’s father, had disturbed her so much. The boy who had been Rafael’s greatest strength—and his salvation—could now destroy him.
Kendra felt the suffocating heat of Rafe’s intense grief all around her as she drifted through the shadows of his darkness. Feeling his pain only reminded her of what she had done—the secret that no one else knew. Rafael was far stronger than she had ever known. He didn’t talk much about his past and neither did she, but maybe this was his way of letting her in.
She wandered for what felt like hours, but time had no meaning here. She had to find her way out. When she couldn’t take any more, she stopped moving and shut her eyes tight.
She clenched her fists and felt her body stiffen as she pictured the Bristol Mountains—and Rafael waiting for her on the other side. When she broke off her connection to his hellish memories, the sudden shift from darkness to bright sunlight blinded her and a rush of sound punished her ears. She collapsed to the ground and felt the prickling sting of grasses against her skin.
“Oh God,” she panted.
She squinted into the sun and held up her hand to shield her eyes. After she realized she’d come back, she stared at Rafael in stunned silence. He scrambled to his feet and rushed to her side to hold her hand.
“What did you see?” he asked. “Did you get in?”
Kendra still felt haunted by the darkness in Rafael. She took a deep breath and struggled to calm the pounding of her heart as she stared into his dark eyes.
“No.” She shook her head. “You were too tough. Maybe next time.”
She chose to lie, for his sake and for hers. How could she describe what she’d seen and felt without hurting him?
“Yeah, next time,” he said.
After Rafael helped her up, he looked as if he wanted to ask her more, but he stopped. An abused and broken boy reflected in his eyes. Why had she never seen that before? Rafael had survived his father, endured his life on the streets and risen to a better place because of his love for Benny. Kendra hoped there
was a heaven for him. He deserved it. He’d already done time in hell.
But did he have it in him to keep fighting?
“You wanna try it on me?” she asked.
She tried to sound up for it, but from the look on his face and the slump of his shoulders, she knew what he’d say.
“No.” He shook his head. “I gotta...get out of here.”
Rafael left her standing on that cliff, watching his back as he left. Rafael. She called out to him, telepathically, but he never answered her. What should have brought them closer—her seeing every secret he had and even how he loved her—only made her feel that they were further apart.
He needed to be loved by someone special and deserved someone whole, who could help him get over his busted life—not be a reminder of it. Even if he didn’t blame her for what happened to Benny, she did. As she watched Rafael walk away, she realized she was as crippled as he was.
How could she help him...or anyone?
* * *
Gabriel led Lucas through the trees to a small pond so they’d have privacy to conduct their psychic attack exercise. The kid didn’t say much. He looked distracted by what had happened between him and Kendra. Every time Gabe glanced over his shoulder at him, Luke didn’t look happy. He even ignored Hellboy, who had latched to his side like an unearthly shadow. Getting Luke far away from Kendra and Rafe had been Gabe’s priority.
When they got to the spring-fed watering hole, the pristine surface reflected the sky like glass. Gabe’s mother had always loved this spot, calling it heaven’s mirror, and she saved it for occasions when she wanted his mind clear to teach him something new about his abilities. Bringing Lucas here meant a great deal to him. He hoped it would become special to Luke too.
Gabe shrugged out of his plaid shirt and tossed it over a shrub. He left on his vintage black T-shirt for the Slayer Reign in Pain tour and stretched his arms and back. By all accounts, he looked as if he were preparing to work up a sweat.
“You go first,” Luke told him. “Offense or defense. Your choice.”
“Very considerate of you, Lucas. You’re quite the gentleman, but sorry to say, I’m not.”
Lucas winced when Gabe cracked his knuckles.
“I was just being...”
“Polite?” Gabe grinned as he circled Lucas with his eyes fixed on the kid. “There’s no Boy Scout merit badge for psyche assault. Toss the good behavior and let’s improvise.”
“How?”
“Let’s save time. We’ll both go offense.”
Luke furrowed his brow and took a moment to think about what he’d proposed.
“You mean we do both? Attack and defend at the same time?”
“Yeah. Let the Indigos do it their way. We should set the bar higher, don’t you agree?”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.”
The guy nodded and said, “Yeah,” but he didn’t look sure. That made Gabe smile.
“I’ve got another idea to make things interesting. You game?”
This time, Lucas didn’t answer.
* * *
The minute Lucas agreed to try something different, Gabriel took off running. It didn’t take Lucas long for him to figure out what the guy had in mind. If he wanted to snake his brain and steal a memory, he had no choice. He had to keep up.
“Come on, boy. Let’s go.” Luke called Hellboy, but the dog only sat on his haunches and looked up into a tree, ignoring them both. “Suit yourself.”
Lucas chased after Gabriel. When he broke out in a sweat, he peeled off his windbreaker and tossed it aside as he ran. The guy didn’t use the path around the lake either. That would’ve been too easy. When Gabe cut through the rough hilly terrain and the dense vegetation that surrounded the water, Luke had to leap over shrubs and careen through trees that cut his bare arms.
“Damn.”
Before Gabe got too far ahead, Lucas had to make his move. Chasing the guy wasn’t getting the job done. He focused his mind on Gabe for a push and fought his way into the essence of his unwilling target. The sound of his boots pounding the ground and his quickening pants faded to a rhythm in his mind as the edge of his sight turned dark. The last thing he saw of his reality was Gabe’s back as he glanced over his shoulder.
The guy had a smile on his face.
Inside a murky vision Lucas got a strong odor. Completely disgusting. Intense colors spiraled around him like Christmas lights on a slow spin. The beams streaked through the shadows to give him only brief glimpses beyond the dark veil. He heard voices that felt more real than the Indigo hive, but that smell became annoying and made it hard for him to breathe.
What the hell...?
He felt his body slow down and when he stopped, the colors quit spinning and blotched together in a massive puzzle around him. A huge canvas circus tent took shape with empty bleachers positioned around a center ring. After that happened, the smell had grown too pungent for him to ignore.
When the shrill call of an elephant broke the silence, he looked down to see where the stench came from. Lucas stood in a pile of—
“Crap.”
Elephant dung, to be exact. From the size of it, that’s what it had to be. Luke sidestepped the mess and scraped off the bottoms of his boots. The distraction almost made him miss the soft murmur of a boy’s voice coming from outside the tent.
Luke forgot about his boots and went looking for the source of the noise. From the sounds of gurgling and a heavy huff, Lucas knew he would find more than a boy behind the curtain in front of him. He slowed down when he saw a dark silhouette moving on the other side. A gigantic beast shuffled to the gentle coaxing of a young boy’s commands.
Lucas inched closer, gripped the curtain edge and pulled it back. A huge elephant, with faint pink freckles on its flapping ears and a wrinkled head, lumbered around to face him. When the animal turned, Luke saw a boy straddling the elephant’s neck. The kid wore a red cape and a glittery feathered turban. He smiled back and Luke knew it was Gabriel when he was a child. He recognized him from the huge circus billboards mounted on the walls of the great room at the Stewart mansion.
Luke had done it. He must’ve broken through Gabe’s mind shield to catch a childhood memory. But when he raised his hand to wave, the elephant squared off in front of him with water dripping from its coiled trunk.
Lucas didn’t have time to duck. The elephant heaved its massive trunk like an accusing finger and delivered its payload. It spewed a never-ending stream of water directly into Luke’s face. He fell back with eyes shut and gasped for air. Luke expected to hit the dirt, but that didn’t happen.
Like a harsh slap, he opened his eyes to find he was flailing underwater. A wall of glistening bubbles and the dark fingers of undulating pond grasses had replaced the circus and that damned elephant. Lucas kicked his legs and stroked his arms, desperate for his next breath until he realized. All he had to do was stand. The water was shallow near the shoreline, but the sudden chill and his survival instincts had broken his concentration. He wasn’t in Gabe’s head anymore.
What the hell happened? The big top tent was gone and he was drenched. Luke trudged to shore, feeling more than a little confused. Hellboy stood onshore and wagged his tail until his whole body got into it.
“Not funny, Gabe,” he yelled.
“Now, that would depend on one’s perspective. From where I am, I find it quite amusing.”
Lucas hadn’t gotten his hearing back, not with water in his ears. Gabe’s voice echoed around him and made it difficult to pinpoint where the sound came from.
“The elephant shit was a nice touch.” Luke had to keep him talking.
“I call that sensory stimulation.”
When he got to dry land, Lucas spun around and peered through the trees until he heard a soft laugh and looked up. Gabe was straddling a tree limb. T
he guy had the balls to grin back. It didn’t take long for Luke to figure out what must’ve happened. Gabriel never ran. He’d climbed the tree nearest the spot they’d started their psychic attack exercise. No wonder Hellboy never got into the chase. The dog knew better.
“But how...?”
“I made you think that I ran. I used memories of our morning runs and embellished your senses with some of my own experiences. I created an illusion inside an illusion.”
Gabe explained that he respected Lucas’s abilities and went on the assault fast to get a jump on him and keep him off balance. Since he couldn’t be sure Luke had ever been to a circus, he’d used images from the billboards displayed in the great room to make him think he’d broken through to his real memories. The guy had outclassed him so badly that Luke didn’t know where to begin to compete with a mind that thought the way Gabriel did. He had a lot to learn.
“How did I end up in the water?”
“I didn’t push you, if that’s what you’re asking.” Gabe leaned back, propped against the tree trunk. “You fell in, I’m afraid. Be assured, I wouldn’t have let you drown in two feet of water.”
“I never got beyond your mind shield, did I?” Luke stood by the pond, soaking wet. “You let me see the circus so I’d think that I’d broken through.”
Gabriel dropped down from the tree.
“That was human nature and the merits of a strong offense, Lucas. I let you see what you expected to see so you’d stop and give up your assault.” He shrugged. “I’ve been at this longer than you, and my mother was a good teacher.”
“Did you get by my defense?”Lucas already knew the answer from the blushing smile on the guy’s face.
“The last Christmas that you spent with your sister, Rayne, before the hospital, she gave you a framed photo of you with your dad and that Harley. The three of you worked on restoring that sweet vintage ride. You were quite touched. You must have loved your father very much.”