He exhaled a shaky breath. “Yeah. I, uh, definitely know that you’re not a child.”
“And it’s not like this should be new for you. I happen to know that you never had any trouble banging girls in cheap motel rooms before.”
His head whipped to the side in a flash, his eyes hooded as he caught her gaze over his shoulder. “How the hell do you know that?”
Her lashes lowered as she shrugged. “I know lots of things about you.”
“You’ve spied on me with women?” he rasped, his eyes widening with shock.
She snorted softly. “Don’t flatter yourself. But I had ears when we were younger. And I was sneaky. I used to listen in when you and Harris were talking. I know all about the girls you slept with.”
Willow watched him digest that bit of news, an eloquent curse on his sensual lips. Then she said, “I’m still waiting for an explanation.”
He drew his brows together. “About what?”
“About why you seem to find the idea of banging me in a cheap motel room so distasteful.”
She thought he’d decided not to answer that question, as well, when he shifted position and propped his back against the headboard, one leg bent at the knee, the other still hanging over the side of the bed. “Because you deserve better.”
The stark, poignant response reverberated through her like a tender caress, and she felt herself slipping into a fiercely emotional place she couldn’t afford to go to. “Why touch me at all, Noah?”
“I couldn’t touch you before,” he said in a low voice, staring down at his palm as he opened and closed his fingers. “But most of the reasons why I couldn’t are no longer relevant.” He blew out a deep, careful breath of air. “We’re gonna have to talk about that.”
Couldn’t touch her? She’d been there—she knew damn well that he’d touched her that night. In intimate, wonderful places that had made her scream.
In her innocence, she’d been embarrassed by the force of her reaction to the delicious things he’d done to her body. She’d been unable to contain her husky cries of excitement, his deep voice rough with hunger as he’d whispered in her ear. She’d been shocked by the explicit images he’d painted in her mind, while those talented fingers had pushed her deeper into that blinding, shaking madness.
But they’d been discovered before they could go any further. Before he could put his mouth on her. Before he could bury himself deep inside her, like he’d promised her he would. And there wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t regret that loss.
“Noah,” she said softly, hugging her knees closer to her chest. “You did touch me.”
“Not nearly as much as I wanted to.” His fingers curled into a powerful fist, and he gave his head a hard shake, his jaw so tight it looked painful. “You were too innocent for the things I wanted from you that night. Your brother was right to warn me off.”
“You could have just practiced a little self-control.” God knows she’d been practicing it for years.
He gave a gruff laugh, relaxing his hand. “Maybe, if you were just some pretty girl I’d wanted to score with. But it was more than that.”
It was? “More…how?” she asked, unsure of where this was going.
He shoved his hand back through his hair, leaving it spiked out in every direction, making it look as if he’d just come from a hot, sweaty sex-fest. She couldn’t help but notice that he wore that just-got-laid look exceptionally well.
“Haven’t you ever wondered why I cut and bailed?” he asked, suddenly turning his head and locking his gaze with hers. “Why I didn’t tell our families to mind their own damn business that night and just stayed in Sacred?”
“No,” she lied. “I didn’t see any reason to waste my time trying to figure you out.” Which was another big, fat, whopping lie. “Jackasses don’t need a reason to act like jackasses, Noah.”
He made a harsh sound in the back of his throat. “I was crazy about you, Will. I had been for a long time. Long before that night ever happened.”
Oh…God. Hiding her reaction to those devastating words was one of the most difficult things she had ever done. But she forced herself to do it.
“Wow, that’s really rich,” she managed to drawl, using everything she had to keep her voice from trembling with shock. “Tell me something, Noah. Do you think I’m stupid? Or do I just have an I Love Bullshit sign plastered to my forehead?”
Well, hell. That’d come out even better than she’d hoped. She’d blown her own mind with that stellar response. She deserved a freaking Academy Award!
“I’m serious,” he said, the quiet words striking against her composure like a hammer. Just those two simple words, and it was Bye bye, Oscar.
She covered her trembling mouth with her hand and blinked. “That’s impossible. You couldn’t stand me. We fought like cats and dogs.”
“Haven’t you ever asked yourself why that was?” His eyes held hers in the shadowy darkness, his gaze deep and searching, as if he was trying to see inside her mind.
“Lots of people fight,” she said shakily. “It doesn’t mean they’re lusting for each other. Or anything else.”
“It did for us.”
“Don’t be arrogant,” she snapped, hating that she felt so out of control. “You don’t know how I felt.”
He arched one dark brow with a cocky arrogance that made her want to slap him again, as if he was remembering how she’d melted the second he touched her.
“I don’t understand what you want from me, Noah. Why are you telling me these things?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted with a strained laugh. He pushed his hands back through his hair again, locking his fingers behind his neck as he hung his head forward. His voice was gruff when he spoke. “Maybe I just don’t like you being angry with me about leaving. Maybe it’s some kind of deathbed confessional to ease my conscience in case the worst ends up happening.”
Her stomach rolled. “God, don’t say that. It’s not funny.”
He lifted his head and looked at her. “I just… I need you to believe me about this, Will. I wasn’t just screwing around with you that night. I’d been falling in love with you for a long time. I just didn’t know how to handle it.”
She took a shaky breath, beyond shocked that he’d just said that. And nearly destroyed by how badly she wanted to believe it. By how tragic it would be if it were true, because it would mean she’d lost so much more than she’d ever realized.
She swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat, and tried to keep her voice from quivering as she said, “Even if what you’re saying is true, which I still don’t believe, you sure as hell fell out of love pretty fast.”
He flinched, his expression pulling tight again. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“But you did.” There was no sense denying it. She’d had no pride that night, begging him to stay.
“I didn’t see that I had much choice.” He looked away, staring across the shadowy room. “Not after that scene with our families.”
“You know, even if what you’re saying is true, I…could deal with what you did to me. I think I could even forgive you for it. What I can’t forgive is what you did to my brother.”
His head whipped back to the side. “To Harris? I didn’t do a damn thing to him.”
“That’s not true.” Willow forced herself to hold his stare. “You cut out on him, too. Left him behind.”
His nostrils flared as he ground his jaw. “Trust me, Will. After what he found us doing, he wanted me gone.”
“He wanted to protect his little sister. That doesn’t mean he wanted to lose his best friend. His only friend.”
His deep voice was tinged with disbelief. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“I knew when you and Harris became friends that it wouldn’t work out. That you would end up hurting him. And I was right. You did.”
“Damn it, that’s not fair,” he grated. “I couldn’t stay. Not with you there.”
“We
could have made the situation work,” she argued, but there was no heat in the words. “We could have just avoided each other.”
“Not good enough!” he barked, slapping his hand against his bedside table so hard that the cheap lamp crashed to the floor, the sudden explosion of temper revealing just how on edge he really was. “I wanted you too bad to hold back. The only answer was to get the hell away from you!”
With a disbelieving smirk, Willow slowly shook her head. “Honestly, Noah. You make me sound like some kind of femme fatale.”
“YOU MIGHT AS well have been,” Noah muttered. Sparks had always flown between him and Will. She’d made him feel restless and edgy. Made his skin feel too tight for his body. And that strange, unsettling attraction hadn’t eased with time. He’d barely gotten a taste of her, but over the years it’d been Willow who invaded his dreams at night, even when he was lying beside another woman.
“Come on. I was a sixteen-year-old tomboy.” Her tone said she thought he was being ridiculous. “I’d only just made my way out of an A cup.”
“It didn’t, doesn’t, matter what size your breasts are. They were beautiful.” Unable to help himself, he lowered his gaze to her chest. “They still are. But I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“My feelings.” He lifted his gaze, locking it with hers. “Maybe of what you would come to think of me. I can’t change what’s inside me, Will.”
She licked her lips, a kind of dazed look in her big brown eyes. “No one’s perfect, Noah. But I thought you were damn close. I didn’t care about your bloodline. I never have.”
He took a swift breath, and just sat there…staring at her…wanting so badly to believe her. Tension vibrated in the air like an electrical force, sizzling against his skin. “I did what I thought was right.”
“You mean what you thought was easy.”
His body trembled with a renewed wave of anger. “Like hell. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I need you to understand that.”
“I don’t know why. Excuses never make a difference. What’s done is done. You went off to start a new life. And I’ve got mine.” She paused to sort out the sheets, then slid back beneath them, her hair spread out over her pillow. “We’ve also got a long day tomorrow, so you should try to get some sleep.”
He grunted, but didn’t argue, watching from the corner of his eye as she pulled the covers up to her chin, her gaze focused on the ceiling. “Just out of curiosity,” she murmured, “are you seeing anyone at the moment?”
“No. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I went out with a woman.”
“Hmm.”
“Well?”
“Well, what?” she asked, the thread of light from the bathroom playing softly over the delicate shape of her profile. God, she was gorgeous. It didn’t seem fair, the way he wanted her even more now than he had before.
Remembering what he wanted to ask her, he said, “Are you involved with anyone?”
“Good night, Noah.” She rolled over, giving him her back. “And just so you know, come at me again like that, and you’re going to wish you hadn’t.”
He gave a weary sigh. “At the risk of repeating myself, you’ve turned into a real bitch, Will. But you probably hear that a lot.”
“Actually, my friends all love me.” The quiet words vibrated with emotion. “Past boyfriends and lovers all think I’m a great gal. I’m trustworthy. Would die for those I care about. Always keep my promises. It’s only the rest of the world’s population who find me difficult to deal with.”
I want to be your friend. He bit back the words, knowing damn well she would just throw them back in his face. And he didn’t want to hear any more about those past boyfriends and lovers.
“And just so you know,” she added, “I wouldn’t have had sex with you twelve years ago, even if you had stuck around.”
“Talk about pretty lies. You were so hot, you’d have let me lay you down in your front yard and cover you in Jessie’s flower bed. You would have—” He cut himself off, surprised by the force of his reaction. Why was he even bothering to challenge her? It was pointless, since he’d been the one to destroy what they could have had.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t have wanted to,” she whispered. “But…we don’t always get what we want.”
There was something behind the words that pulled at him, making him want to dig deeper, but he knew better than to push. She was already pissed. So he rolled onto his side instead, and closed his eyes. But all he could see was Will and the way she’d looked when he’d been touching her…seconds away from taking her.
He pushed his fingers into his eyes, wanting to block out the images, but it was impossible. She’d been burned into his brain. Her taste, her scent. The feel of her. He’d always known it would be like that between them. That he hadn’t imagined how good it felt to have her against him all those years ago. And he needed more. So much more than what he’d gotten.
He was wrecked. Destroyed by the thought that he might have just missed his only chance to get his mouth on her. Not knowing how she tasted on his tongue wasn’t something he could live with. Neither was not knowing what kind of cry she’d give when she came against his mouth in a sweet, mouthwatering rush of pleasure. Or how she’d look when she was coming apart on his cock, taking it from him hard and deep.
He had to know those things. Had to. They were as vital as the need for air in his lungs. Something he could not do without.
And after that…he didn’t know—and he was too bloody confused to figure it out tonight. Considering what was coming after him, there might not even be an after.
Noah was still churning the whole complicated mess around in his mind when his cell phone started ringing on the nightstand, the shrill sound jerking him out of his troubled thoughts. His gut cramped with unease as he reached for the phone, knowing he was about to get some bad news. “What’s wrong?” he grunted, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
It was Kierland’s voice that crackled over the connection. “There’s been another attack.”
“Shit. Where was it?”
“Wisconsin. Raine could only pick up on a few flashes of information, but it was enough for us to pinpoint the location.”
Raine Spenser was engaged to Seth McConnell, the only other human, besides Noah, in their unit. A former Collective soldier turned good guy, Seth had become a close friend, and so had Raine.
Thanks to her psychic abilities, Raine had been doing her best to help the unit keep an eye on their enemies as much as she could, but she was having a hard time getting a clear read on the Death-Walkers. Their thoughts were too chaotic and warped. According to Raine, it was like trying to see a clear picture on a TV with crappy reception, everything distorted and out of focus. Like a bad acid trip.
She’d also tried to read Calder for him, but found that the signal was being intentionally blocked. Noah had no doubt that it was Sienna doing the blocking.
“Is it bad?” he asked. A stupid question. The attacks were always bad. But he couldn’t stop himself from asking.
“The Death-Walkers took out an entire town. The local Watchmen unit will be on the scene in the next five minutes. Ashe and Gideon are flying over to help them out.” Ashe Granger was Gideon’s brother, the two vampires more than qualified to deal with the situation.
Noah told Kierland to keep him posted, then set the phone on the table. He rubbed a hand over his eyes, wishing like hell that this thing was over.
Behind him, Willow sat up. “What happened?”
“Another attack. The Death-Walkers took out a small town up in Wisconsin.”
“Ohmigod.”
“It’s gonna take an act of God to contain this.” Moving to his feet, he grabbed his jeans and started to pull them on. “You okay sleeping in the truck?”
“I can sleep anywhere.”
“Then let’s hit the road,” he muttered, knowing damn well that he was too wound up to get any rest. “The
sooner we find this demon, the better.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
SOMETIMES, BEING DEAD was better.
Sienna Broussard Jones knew it was a strange idea, but was afraid it might be true. Whenever anyone had asked Jessie about the man she’d lost when she was a young woman, Sienna had heard her say the part that hurt the most was living on, when you shouldn’t be alive. That it was the continued empty existence when those you loved were already gone that could grind you down. Change you. Turn you into something that you weren’t.
Jessie must have been right, because look at what had become of her eldest niece. Sienna was in a hell of her own creation, and one that was becoming more macabre with each day that passed by.
She was currently standing in the middle of a field in southern Mississippi, the night winds snarling through her hair, whipping it painfully against her face. A face she doubted her loved ones would even recognize, her once pleasant features now ravaged by the memories of what she’d lost…and the horrible things that she’d done.
The field lay silent and empty, but for her and the four figures huddled in its center, standing over a man’s body. Overhead, the full moon watched on like an avid spectator, too shocked to turn away from the gruesome display of savagery taking place down below.
It was 3:00 a.m. The witching hour. When things best left to the dark often came out to play.
On the ground lay a Casus male who was living within the body of a human host, his arms and legs spread wide, his hands and feet nailed to the ground with heavy iron spikes. He’d been cruelly tortured, chunks of flesh missing from his torso and limbs, and she shuddered in shame at the broken, mewling sounds of agony that spilled from his throat.
Beside her, Anthony Calder gave a low, demonic laugh and shook his head. “Listen to that whimpering. I should have known that even in death you’d be weak, Richard.”
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