“I’m sorry, Will.” He was no longer pacing. Just standing there, watching her, the searing heat of his gaze rushing against her like a hot wind. She wanted to reach out and grab it, pulling that life-giving heat around her. Wanted to reach out and grab him.
“I’d give anything to change the way things went down tonight. I hate that you had to see her that way,” he said huskily, and she trembled in reaction, nearly undone by his words. “And I hate that you had to make a choice between us. I’m so damn sorry about that.”
God, did he have any idea how much she needed him to hold her when he said things like that? When he talked to her as if he cared…as if she meant something to him?
Knowing she was close to running across the room and throwing herself in his arms, she took a deep breath and forced herself to finish answering his question. “So, um, Jessie and I knew Si was having a hard time dealing with what had happened, but we…we never believed she would try something as insane as a partnership with someone like Calder.”
He pushed his hands in his pockets, and propped his shoulders against the wall behind him. “What do you think she wants with him? I mean, if she can open a portal into someplace like Meridian, why not open one into hell and go after Mike herself?”
“I don’t think she could. It’s said that only a powerful source of pure evil can go into the deepest circles of hell and survive.”
“So she made a deal with Calder.” His voice was low, gritty. “Her help, in exchange for her husband.”
“Yes…but he’ll never keep his end of the bargain. And I don’t think it would work even if he did. If Calder tries to go into hell and bring Mike back for her, he won’t…he won’t be the same. He won’t be the man she fell in love with. She’s lost him forever, and now we’ve lost Si.” Her voice cracked at the end, and she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she fought to hold back her tears.
And then he was there, standing right in front of her. He didn’t give her any time to protest or pull away. He just wrapped her in his arms, holding her against his chest, and she melted into a hot, shivering rush of tears, the overwhelming sorrow inside her too much to contain. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry over Sienna in months, too afraid that once she started, she’d never be able to stop. But she felt no fear in Noah’s arms. She could lower her guard and give herself a moment to fall apart, because she knew he’d be there to bring her back when she did. Knew he’d lend her some of his incredible strength to pull herself together, if she couldn’t quite manage it on her own.
He held her tight until the hard sobs finally quieted, then secured one arm around her waist as he lifted his hand to her face. With the backs of his knuckles, he tilted her chin up so that he could see her expression. She knew she must look frightful, no doubt with a pink nose and tear-splotched eyes, but that wasn’t the way he looked at her. He stared down at her with an intense, heavy-lidded gaze, acting as if she were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. As if he were trying to memorize every detail of how she looked at that moment. His lips were slightly parted for the sensual rasp of his breath, a flush of color burning along the crests of his cheekbones, his hand almost feverishly hot as he placed it against the side of her face. The texture of his calluses against her damp cheek was so sexy, she wanted to grab his hand and rub it all over her body, needing the sweet burn of pleasure to blot out the pain.
“I always hated to see you cry,” he whispered in an aching tone, catching a slow-falling tear with his thumb. “I hate it even more now.”
She licked her lips, noticing the way he watched the quick flick of her tongue, and asked him the question that had been looping through her brain all night. “Why did you put yourself between me and that Casus?”
Her hands were pressed against his muscular chest, and she felt his heart jump at the question, its beat heavy and hard beneath her palms. He settled that searing gaze on her mouth and said, “If I had the choice, I’d put myself between you and danger every damn time.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t stand the thought of anything ever happening to you.”
She groaned, completely undone by those husky words and the breathtaking look in his eyes. Lifting onto her toes, she reached up and grabbed handfuls of his short hair, pulling his head down to hers. And then she kissed him. Kissed him with all the unspent emotion and need that had been building inside her for the past twelve years. He gave a low growl, and sank his tongue into her mouth with a bold, possessive thrust, turning the explicit kiss into something raw and delicious. He wasn’t just taking. He was comforting her with his mouth, pouring breathtaking emotion into every lick and stroke, letting her know she wasn’t alone. That she could ask him for what she needed, and he’d give it to her.
The kiss went on for long, drugging moments, drowning her senses in pleasure, until he suddenly ripped his mouth from hers, sucking a deep, shuddering breath into his lungs. He pulled his head back, and stared down at her, studying her face…her eyes. He ran his hand over his mouth, as if he was rubbing the taste of her into his skin, and his gaze narrowed until the blue was nothing more than a silver spark of light between his thick lashes. “Will?”
She swallowed, and somehow found her voice. “I’m not asking you to have sex with me,” she whispered, settling her hands on his shoulders. “I’m not…ready for that yet. Not after everything that happened. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make each other feel good tonight. I’d like that, Noah.” She took a quick breath, then forced out the rest. “Because I’d really, really love to know what it feels like to come with a part of you inside me.”
“Goddamn it,” he growled, a shudder moving through his hard frame. “You make it so hard to do the right thing, Will.”
A grin touched her lips as she said, “Then do me instead.” His chest shook with a hard, gritty laugh, and she smiled. “I’m serious, Noah.”
“I’m sure I should be thinking about this,” he muttered, lowering his head and pressing hot, seeking kisses along the column of her throat, making her burn for more. “But I can’t.”
She arched her neck to give him better access, her voice breathless and dreamy. “It’s okay. I don’t think this requires a lot of thinking.”
Another deep, husky rumble of laughter, and then he lifted his head and locked his hungry gaze with hers. “I don’t know if this is right,” he admitted in a low rasp, his dark brows drawn together in a fierce expression.
“I’m a big girl, Noah. I know what I’m doing.” She paused suddenly, not liking the unpleasant thought that wormed its way into her brain. “You’re not just trying to protect my pride, are you? Maybe the truth is that you just don’t want me.”
He raised an eyebrow and snorted as he grabbed her hand, shoving it against his impressive erection. “That feel like I don’t want you, Will?”
The thick, rigid length pulsed against the press of her hand, and she couldn’t help but curl her fingers over it and squeeze, loving the way he hissed a shaky curse through his teeth. “Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I’m not myself. I’m cha—”
She cut him off before he could get started down that road. “And I’m not human, Noah. I can take care of myself, if I have to. You don’t scare me.”
“I’m not worried about scaring you.”
She could read the truth in his eyes. “You won’t hurt me, either,” she said softly, letting her emotions and her hunger show, so that he would know just how badly she wanted him.
“Jesus,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I can’t think when you look at me like that.”
“Then don’t think. Just kiss me again.”
And he did.
She could feel the tremor of raw hunger that spread through his body as their lips touched, feel the breathtaking strength he used to hold himself under tight control. Sweet, shivering chills spread over her skin, her heart beating hard and fast, like something trapped inside her chest.
&n
bsp; The tenor of the kiss was different from before. No less giving, but he took more. Demanded it. His hands lifted to her head, long fingers spearing through her hair, shaping around her skull so that he could hold her still for the marauding pleasure of his mouth. It was all passion and scalding heat, driving her wild, and she struggled against him, trying to get closer, her hands coasting over his hot skin, unable to get enough of those hard, mouthwatering muscles.
Then he was lifting her off her feet as if she weighed nothing, and Willow found herself lying in the middle of the bed. Noah came down over her, his hard thighs bracketing her hips as he pulled at her clothes, nearly ripping them off her body.
“Noah?”
“I know, no sex. I get it.” His voice was ragged, desperate, his chest rising and falling with the heavy force of his breaths. “But I’m getting you under my mouth, Will. I’m spreading you open and getting my fill.”
“Oh…” Her mind blanked as he changed position, and she couldn’t think of a single thing to say, except for maybe Hurry, when he was already going at warp speed. And she was suddenly feeling a little…shy. Odd, since she’d never been shy before. But then, she’d never had Noah Winston kneeling between her legs, his rough hands hot on her skin as he slid them between her trembling thighs and shoved them apart, spreading her wide open, just like he’d said he would do. He made a thick, gravelly sound in the back of his throat as he pressed her knees against the mattress, the explicit position leaving her sex completely exposed. A muscle pulsed in the rigid set of his jaw as he settled his scorching gaze between her legs. She could tell by the dark lust on his face that he liked what he saw. His nostrils flared as he pulled in a deep breath, the low groan on his lips telling her he liked her scent, as well.
She choked back a shaky moan and gripped handfuls of the sheets, struggling to keep still. She wondered if he could tell how nervous she was, if he could feel the tension tightening through her body, because he didn’t ravage her in a fit of lust. Instead, he inhaled a slow breath of air, and seemed to force himself to take it slow. To give her a little time to relax.
“I can’t get enough of the way you smell,” he rasped, taking another slow, deep breath as he stroked those callused hands up her thighs. He ran a thumb through her slick, swollen folds, possessively stroking that most intimate part of her. “Did you know I could smell you in the woods the other day? Before you put that knife to my throat? I knew you were there because I’d picked up your scent. And it made me hard as hell.”
She tucked her chin into her chest so that she could get a better look at him. “Really?”
A dimple appeared in his cheek. “Guess it’s a good thing I’ve never been able to stand tucking in my shirts. It covered the evidence,” he rumbled, and then, without any warning at all, he licked her. Right there, across the soft, drenched folds of her sex. Then he licked her again, slow and deep, taking her taste into his mouth. He pulled pleasure up out of her as if it were his to control, the husky growl on his lips telling her he was enjoying the intimate act as much as she was.
Bracing himself on his elbows, he used his thumbs to hold her open, tasting every slippery part of her, inside and out, his growls of satisfaction getting deeper, darker. She writhed beneath him, feeling the stunning sensations rush and swell, racing through her veins. When he lashed her clit with the flat of his tongue, working it fast and rough, Willow arched her back and screamed like she was dying, shocked by the guttural cry that ripped from her throat as the orgasm swept through her like the devastating blast of an explosion.
“That’s it,” he growled, rubbing the words into her drenched flesh. “Keep coming for me, Will. I can’t get enough of it.” He kept going at her, thrusting his wickedly talented tongue inside her clenching sheath, the sounds he made almost more animal than man as he drank her in, demanding everything she had.
She didn’t know how much time had passed before she heard him say her name.
“Yeah?” she gasped, wetting her lips.
“I lied.”
She blinked as she tucked her chin in again and stared down at him. “About what?”
“I said I was getting my fill,” he told her, his voice low and breathless. “But I can’t. You taste too good.”
He didn’t wait for a response, which was good, since she couldn’t do anything more than moan when his tongue was pushing inside her like that. Hell, she could barely remember her name. He ate at her with that same mind-blowing intensity until she was tugging on his hair and pumping her sex against his mouth. Until her back was arched, and ragged cries of pleasure were tearing from her throat. Then he kissed his way up her flushed body, licking and nipping with his teeth, until he’d reached her breasts, which were already heavy and aching for his touch. He sucked on each nipple, getting them both wet and red, then lingered, licking her slowly, as if he were lapping at something sweet, the same way he’d licked her between her legs, and she decided the man was freaking diabolical. But in a good melt-your-bones-with-bliss kind of way.
When he finally raised his head, his lips were shiny, those blue eyes darker in color than she’d ever seen them before, but glowing with a warm, provocative fire. He braced himself above her on his powerful arms, the strong lines of muscle and sinew a testament to his incredible strength. The charm that Jessie had given him swung from the length of cord around his neck, and she reached up to touch it with her fingertip. “The Casus didn’t take over your body tonight, so I guess this worked.”
“Either that, or they had orders not to.”
“You should trust Jessie,” she said, returning her gaze to his rugged face. “She wouldn’t have lied to you.”
He nodded as he slid his gaze to the side, a sudden frown on his lips. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sensing the sudden change in his mood.
“It’s nothing,” he muttered, closing his eyes.
“Noah, look at me.”
He shook his head, a grimace on his sensual mouth. “I don’t want you reminded of those bastards.”
Her lips parted as she realized what was bothering him. “Noah, your eyes are beautiful.”
“My eyes look just like theirs,” he growled, forcing the words through his clenched teeth. “Like the Casus.”
“No, they don’t.” She laughed and his eyes popped open, as if he needed to see for himself what she found so damn funny.
She reached up and brushed the silky strands of his hair back from his face, then traced the masculine shape of his brows. “You’re breathtaking,” she told him, hoping he could see the truth in her eyes. “You could never look like one of them, Noah.”
And it was true, even though he no longer looked human to her, either. There was something deeper in him. Some dark, dangerous current that ran just beneath his striking surface—but it didn’t scare her. If anything, she was seduced by the combination of predator and protector, feeling the rush of danger and the tenderness of care all at once. It was a heady assault on her senses that she was helpless to resist.
“Please,” she whispered, wishing she could make him understand how amazing he was. How much she cared about him. “Please trust me when I say that you could never look like one of them.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
NOAH STARED DOWN at the woman beneath him, not knowing how she did it. How could the little witch look into his ice-blue eyes like that, with so much pleasure and trust, and not be disgusted by what she saw?
He’d always envied his brothers, whose eyes were a deep, dark blue. Noah had been one of the few unlucky Winstons to inherit the Casus icy eye color, and he hated it. Had never liked seeing his reflection, his stomach twisting when he’d notice those ice-blue eyes staring back at him.
But Willow didn’t look at him with fear or revulsion. She looked at him as if she saw something that was wonderful—something worthy of her—and it blew his mind.
No matter how he examined it, Noah knew this was a mistake. But at that moment, he just didn’t care.
He stared her
right in the eye as he pressed his hand between her legs, sliding his fingers into her drenched silk…daring her to look away. “Come for me again,” he rasped, stroking her, then thrusting two thick fingers into that tight, pink little opening. “I can’t get enough of it. I need to feel it again.”
She spread her legs wider, opening herself to him, and he groaned as he felt her fall so quickly, the tight convulsions clenching around his fingers as he pressed deep and let her pleasure rush through him, dizzying and sweet. This feeling was so huge inside him, he didn’t know what to do with it. How to control it. How to fight it. But he couldn’t let go, as if he needed the feel of her in his arms to keep going.
Then he felt the heat in his gums, and he snarled with frustration. “Shit.”
She jumped at the stark sound. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Don’t freak,” he mumbled, keeping his face turned away as he pulled his fingers from her body. “But I, uh… The damned fangs are back.”
“Oh,” she said, sounding curious…and maybe even a little bit excited. “Let me see them.”
His eyes shot wide as he whipped his head back around. He barely moved his lips as he demanded, “What did you say?”
The smile she gave him was so tender, it made him flinch. “Let me see,” she repeated.
What the…?
“Seriously, Noah. I want to see them.”
Breathing raggedly, he parted his lips, giving her a glimpse, and her smile turned into a soft, mind-melting look of wonder. “Oh, Noah,” she breathed out in a soft voice. “They’re really sexy.”
“They don’t look like…?” He couldn’t get the rest of the question out, but she knew what he meant. She shook her head, running her fingertip over the shape of his upper lip, then dared to stroke her finger across one long incisor. He shuddered as if she’d stroked his cock, and she grinned.
“They don’t look anything like the Casus,” she told him, her gaze lifting back to his. Her eyes were hazy with desire. “They’re just incredibly hot.”
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