"Jinji," he called again, as though from a very far distance, as though he wasn't standing right in front of her, holding out his hand, waiting for her to take it.
She didn't.
Janu closed the gap, grasping her fingers.
Instantly, the world around her began to fade. Colors dropped away like leaves from a tree, blowing in the wind, landing somewhere out of sight. Twilight descended. Jinji watched with a surreal fascination, mind already in another world as memories from a different life filled her thoughts, overwhelmed her.
"Jinji," a voice said again.
She was surrounded by black, washed away in a sea of ebony with no end in sight. Eyes open or closed, there was no difference. There were no shapes, no colors, no hints of anything but never-ending darkness. And yet, the place didn't feel empty—it felt full. The air was charged with life. And the scene provided her with comfort, not fear. Because she knew where she was now. And she knew exactly whom she spoke to.
"This is your realm?" she asked the shadow, knowing he listened even though she could not see him.
"You are seeing it as no one else ever does. When souls come here, they get to live an alternate life, a better one that I provide for them. You with your family, others with riches, others with a love which life neglected to provide. They live whatever life I wish for them to lead—whatever life will make them happy enough to be at peace in my realm and to forget those they left behind in the world of the living. I told you before, death is not so scary."
"No, it's not," Jinji agreed, mind already back with her tribe, back with Leoa, back with Janu, and her mother and father and everyone else. In the darkness, Jinji shivered, trying to hold on to the warmth of their presence just a little while longer. Her limbs grew cold as she felt their absence anew, missing the dream. Were any of them real? Had her family truly been with her? Were they still with her now?
But before Jinji could ask, the shadow spoke, interrupting her thoughts. "I'm sorry to have pulled you from the happiness you are due, but I made a promise to you and I always hold true to my word. My spirit-self has betrayed me. Has betrayed us all. And now it is time for me to reveal the terms of our bargain."
Jinji inhaled sharply. "How? I'm here, aren't I? I've died. Janu has died as well or we wouldn't be speaking. What could there possibly be left to do?"
"Much," the shadow said gravely. "My spirit-self was supposed to close her portal to the spirit world, to cut her soul off from ever reentering that realm. And though she claims to have done what I asked, I know she is lying. I never expected her to find the strength to do what she was supposed to do thousands of years ago but never has."
"What's that?" Jinji asked.
"Create the final dragon."
Jinji scrunched her brows, unsure if she had a body in this shadow realm but expressing herself just the same. There were four elements. Four dragons. What was missing? And then she realized the obvious truth.
"A spirit dragon," she whispered. "How?"
"My spirit-self and I are two halves of one whole, in perfect balance with each other. I am the internal half—my powers are of the soul. But hers are external, they always have been. You see, I can never be parted from my magic. My magic is me, and I am it. That is why my realm lives within me, in the darkness at the center of my soul. But my spirit-self was made to be parted with her magic. That is why you could wield her powers, but Janu could never wield mine. Her magic is woven into the very fibers of her world, and that is where it was always meant to stay—not within her, but within her world."
"What can I do?"
"My spirit-self has always known her destiny. There were always supposed to be riders and dragons, they were always meant to keep the balance in her realm. That is why there are souls with affinities to the elements—they were created that way. Your soul has been tied to the spirit in every life you've lived. Rhen's has been tied to the fire. And so on. It is how it was written. It was also written that my spirit-self would create dragons for each of the elements. They were meant to hold her powers in one single body, to keep them in check, to contain the magic. Not every soul with an elemental affinity deserves to be powerful in every life. Her realm would be chaos if that were true. So instead, there is only one rider per generation who gets to join with the dragon and touch the magic his soul longs for."
"But there is no spirit dragon, which is why I've been able to draw illusions my whole life, why I've always been connected to the magic."
"Correct," the shadow agreed. "But spirit affinities are much rarer, and every time one was born, my spirit-self used her magic to connect with the soul and steal that life for herself. And I allowed it to happen because what other choice did I have?"
Jinji shuddered. "So my soul has never been free? Each life I've lived, she's been in command?"
"Yes," the shadow said. "But you were always the most difficult for her to control."
"What changed in this life?" Jinji asked. "Why was she absent until that day in Rayfort when I touched you and we fell into the ether together?"
"I changed," the shadow whispered. "I decided I wasn't going to let her leave me any longer. I decided she was finally going to regret breaking her promises to me. I fought her as she tried to connect with you at the moment of birth. I held her soul back. I wouldn’t let her use her magic to complete the merge. Instead, she was divided, half with you in the spirit realm and half in the ether with me. Until the moment you touched me and connected all three of our souls together again, allowing her to complete the bond."
"I don't understand," Jinji murmured, shaking her head as the information sank in, growing more and more confusing. "But you just killed me. You just shoved a knife into my heart. You brought me to your realm."
"Yes," the shadow agreed, "to separate your soul from hers in the event that she betrayed me and would not willingly create the fifth dragon on her own."
The picture was becoming clearer. "You're going to send me back without her knowing."
"Yes," the shadow confirmed.
Jinji's heart swelled.
Immediately, her mind went to Rhen, to those vivid emerald eyes even death couldn't erase from her memories. To their love, to the connection their souls might have been waiting centuries to find. In all of those lives when the spirit controlled her body, had Rhen's soul been alone, unfulfilled, always missing her but never realizing it? Jinji's soul cried out for him with a resounding yes.
"You want me to create the spirit dragon?"
"Yes," the shadow agreed. "Once the spirit dragon has been created, all of my spirit-self's power will be locked within its body. She won't be able to use her spirit magic to overtake any souls like yours ever again. The gateway to her realm will be sealed. She will be able to see her world through the spirit dragon's eyes, to connect with the magic vicariously, but her soul will remain in the ether with me, the way it was always supposed to."
"Why didn't you explain all of this before?" Jinji whispered sadly, thinking of all the hardship that could have been avoided—all the heartbreak, all the death, all the pain.
"Because at first I was mad, and I wanted her to hurt," he said, now utterly calm. "And later, she was constantly listening, and I couldn't risk revealing my plan. My spirit-self has always been more concerned with herself. She has never fully cared to know me. I don't think she's ever realized I can bring a soul back to life at any time, whenever I want. Right now, she thinks she's won. And that's exactly what I needed her to believe. She won't be looking for your soul to make its way back to her realm. So I'll be able to do it without interference."
"And what of Janu?" Jinji asked, remembering the bargain they struck only days ago—the chance to save his life. But now that Jinji had experienced death, she wasn't sure Janu would want to be saved. What if he was dreaming the same thing she had? What if right now he was living through death, experiencing the moments his real life had never given him? Could she take that all away and bring him back to a world that had only provided h
im with pain?
"That choice is up to you," the shadow murmured gently.
Jinji shook her head. "No, it is up to him. Can you tell him all you have told me? My brother deserves to decide his own fate. We both owe him that. And if he chooses to remain in your realm, please make him forget that everything he dreams is not real. Make him believe life was just a nightmare that has now faded from awareness."
"Done."
Jinji stretched her mind, searching for her family somewhere within the darkness. And for just a moment, her soul felt warm, felt surrounded in their love. "I'm ready."
Sharp claws sank into her soul, grabbing hold.
Jinji remained silent, ignoring the pain.
Together they flew through ebony until the world began to lighten. Bit by bit, the darkness faded. And with each gathering ray of light, Jinji pictured one thing, the only thing keeping her sane as she soared farther and farther away from her family.
Rhen.
Watching over her with love.
22
RHEN
~ THE GATES ~
"I did this," Rhen cried again, voice cracking, hoarse and barely there. His world had faded to shades of red, blurred by the tears in his eyes. He was unable to see anything but the deep maroon staining his arms, the vibrant red pool surrounding them, the crimson still leaking from Jinji's chest. He was drowning in her blood, losing himself within it. And all he could think over and over again was that he was responsible, he had done this. He may as well have wielded the knife himself. He had given Jinji that elixir. He had allowed the spirit to take control over her body. He had removed any chance Jinji had to fight back. The spirit might have tricked him into believing her, but he should have known not to trust the safety of the woman he loved to anyone but himself. Rhen should have known better. The fault was his and his alone.
A glimmer of celebration stirred in the back of his mind.
Faint and very far away.
Rhen reached back, feeling the triumphant cries of joy of three dragons and their riders. Their elation brought no pleasure to his chest. Instead, their happiness stung painfully, a new wound in his already bleeding heart.
It could only mean one thing.
The phantoms were gone.
The shadow had removed his presence from their world.
They had won.
But all those roads led to the same conclusion—Jinji was truly dead. This was no ruse, no ploy to trick the shadow, no illusion woven with her powers. The body he hugged closed to him was really hers. The battle was over, and there was nothing left for him to do but mourn.
Rhen?
For a moment, his heart leaped at the womanly voice.
Then it fell.
It was the princess, reaching through the bond, trying to figure out why he wasn't celebrating with the other riders.
Rhen closed off his mind, slamming the door shut. He wanted to be alone with Jinji, to hold her until all the warmth was gone from her limbs, and even then maybe still not let go. But he knew he couldn't hide forever.
Jasper arrived first, landing softly, gasping quietly over his shoulder.
Bran was second, shaking the ground beneath Rhen, bringing ripples to the ever-expanding pool of blood.
Leena was last.
She screamed when the water dragon crested the top of the Gates. Her cry brought goose bumps to his skin, as though confirming for the first time that the scene before him wasn't an illusion. If Leena saw it too, then it truly must be real.
Rhen looked up, finding her dark umber eyes through his blurred vision. They were filled with despair and horror. She ran to his side, falling next to him and reaching out to hold Jinji's lifeless hand. But all Rhen noticed was the edge of her golden clothes turning ruby.
"What…" She trailed off, unable to find her voice.
Rhen just shook his head.
There were no words to explain.
"Rhen," she murmured, deep voice filled with empathy rarely heard on an Ourthuri tongue.
The sound shredded him.
Destroyed him.
Rhen fell limp over Jinji's body, unable to hold back his sorrow, unable to find any strength. With the three riders watching over him, Rhen was safe to melt away, to let all awareness fade, to give in to the grief overwhelming him. The world was saved. His duty was done. There was nothing left to fight for, so he didn't. He surrendered to his emotions, to the shattering pieces of his heart, and let the hurt come.
Visions of Jinji filled his eyes.
Visions of her alive, of the glow in her eyes.
He wanted so much to hold her again, to kiss her again, to feel her again, that he imagined it were so. His mind tricked him into believing that her heart began to beat. The drumming grew loud in his ear as warmth filtered across her limbs. Rhen shook even more, trying to dispel the illusions his mind played. But they wouldn't go away. He hallucinated that her arms gathered strongly around him, that she held him just as he held her. In his mind, her perfect lips pressed against his skin, piercingly hot.
Part of Rhen wanted to scream for the visions to stop—they only made goodbye more difficult. But part of him wanted to give in to the insanity, to live in the false world his mind was creating, to do anything to have her with him.
"Rhen," her voice whispered softly into his ears.
"Jin," he sobbed, holding her tighter, not caring what the riders might think to hear him call her name. Not caring if they heard him have an entire conversation by himself, if it meant he could pretend to speak to her again. "Forgive me."
"There is nothing to forgive," she whispered, only confirming for Rhen that she couldn't be real, that this voice existed only in his head.
"I'll find you again," he whispered, voice cracking with the heartfelt promise. "Not even death can keep us apart."
"Rhen, I'm here," she said, sounding louder and louder in his ears. And her voice was edged with joy, with happiness. A hint of humor played on her tongue. "I'm right here."
He stopped.
Breath tickled his neck. Or was that just the wind playing an evil trick on him? But the body on his lap was warm. Did it move? Or did he move it? A soft sigh filtered through his ears. Rhen shook his head, unable to believe his dreams could come true. Frowning, worried this was an illusion woven by his mind, he sat up, unable to deny the resistance of arms embracing his torso—a resistance that felt too real to be false.
He opened his eyes.
Golden glittered irises stared up at him, filled with life.
"Jin," he whispered, unable to believe the sight before him.
But then she reached up, brushing her warm fingers against his cheek, cupping his skin, rubbing it with the edge of her thumb. A smile spread her lips, blindingly brilliant. Her ashen skin flooded with blushing vivacity.
"I'm alive," she said giddily.
"You're alive," he wondered, dumbstruck by the sudden shift of emotions filling his heart. Those words wrapped around him as his eyes roamed the rest of her body. The gaping hole in her chest was sealed shut. No more blood poured from the open wound. All at once, the tension in his body released as the truth sank in.
"You're alive!" he cried, jumping to his feet and taking her with him, holding her close, tight enough to make her gasp as the breath was stolen from her chest. Then he held her away, eyes roaming over every inch of her face. Then he pulled her close again, this time pressing their lips together, kissing her in a way that very much proved her liveliness. Laughter leaked from his lips, a joy that could no longer be contained.
"How? When? Why? How?" he asked, overwhelmed, thoughts jumping from one to the next as he breathed her essence in and let it bubble over him. Jinji watched him joyously but pressed a finger against his lips, calming him, quieting him.
"Later," she whispered, infusing that single word with a lifetime of promises. And then she turned to the other riders, confessing, "There is one more task that needs to be completed before we can put the war fully behind us. There is a fifth
dragon, and I need your help bringing her to life."
"Anything," Rhen asserted without hesitation. The others agreed.
Jinji turned on him, pursing her lips just slightly. He didn't like the hesitation in her eyes. "I need you to ride your dragons, and when I say so, focus all of their ferocious fury on me."
"No," Rhen said immediately. "Absolutely not. I just got you back. I'm not—"
"Rhen," she murmured gently, interrupting him. Taking his hands in hers, she held his gaze. "I'm not going anywhere. We've both lied. We've both made mistakes by overprotecting each other, by hiding the full truth. We've both been trying to do everything on our own. And it hasn't worked. Please, trust me."
Rhen swallowed slowly, understanding the earnestness in her gaze.
He nodded once.
He loved her. He had to trust her. There was no other choice.
Jinji smiled widely, beaming up at him for a moment before turning to the others. "Use your full strength. Do not be nervous, and do not hold back." She tilted her head toward the sky. "Go."
Rhen squeezed her fingers. And then, even though it took all of his strength, he dropped them. He walked to Firestorm and mounted the dragon, holding Jinji's gaze as they lifted into the air, hovering above her with the others.
I love you, Jinji whispered across his thoughts, speaking to him through the spirit bond. For a moment, the muscles in his gut clenched tight with worry. But Jinji shook her head slightly, eyes shining with the promise that the words weren't meant as a goodbye. Rhen understood.
I love you, he replied. Not because he was worried or afraid. But because for a short time he had thought he would never be able to say those words to her again, and now that he could, he would, whenever the urge struck.
Jinji's lips widened. The creases of her smile reached all the way to the corners of her eyes. And then she blinked, watching all of her riders.
"Now," she commanded.
Rhen trusted her with all of his heart.
The Phoenix Born (A Dance of Dragons #3) Page 25