Reckless Karma (Sinners & Saints #2)

by Chelsea Ballinger

  “I acted like you were just… another one of the women I have been with. I didn’t treat you like you were you. Like you were important to me. What you needed didn’t matter to me.”

  She sighs and scoots in closer to me. “I think we make things more than they are. I think… I’m the selfish one in this. Last night was good and bad. Bad because of how hurt and angry you are. The fact that you, like most men, are not prone to talk it out or share your feelings. And because you are you and… there is this darkness about you. A darkness you didn’t give a second worry about until now. Until love and family came into it and now I think you’re just this branch. Branch barely hanging from the tree and eventually you will snap, Hugo. I know you don’t want to, but you will. I just want to be there when you do. I still want to be me when you do.”

  The woman is annoyingly intelligent and wise and I could tell her the truth. Tell her that she is right. Open my heart now. Let the snap just happen, but I am bound to fight it.

  “I just want to move on. It’s time to start a new path, I suppose.”

  “What do you mean?”

  We both sit up and I grab my cell off the nightstand. I send out a text as she waits for my answer. “I texted Karlie. I’m still going after Scarlett, but there are more things at play here.”

  “You’re not gonna use the kids, are you?”

  “Not like you think. It’s time for everyone to stop hiding behind the lies. It’s time for the truth to come out. I won’t have to force anyone to do anything. Those kids will do it for me.”

  KARLIE

  I didn’t expect a text from Hugo asking to come by and talk. Maybe he won’t do any talking. Maybe he’ll yell and throw in some insults. I hope he does. I’m better with arguing than accepting understanding and kindness, but this is Hugo Mandrake so I should be good.

  “Hi,” I say once he comes in my office. I’m sure he walked past the kids who are enjoying a movie in the living room.

  “Hi.” He takes a seat in the chair in front of my glass desk. I close up my laptop, lean my elbows on the desk, my hands clasped together and under my chin.

  “Did you see the kids?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you say hi?”

  “Yes. I was civil. Then I heard them whisper about the man who yelled at Mommy.”

  “Did you come here to yell at me some more?”

  “No. I have a plan.”

  I already know what it is. I can just tell and I become furious.

  “Hell no,” I say.

  “It needs to be done.”

  “If you think I’m gonna let them even be in the same room as my kids, you are really as fucked up as I thought.”

  “You are well on your way to being as fucked up as I am. You need to stop lying to them and to yourself. Besides, we already know what the test will prove. You know it. I know it. You want to see a rabid dog cry, then do this. Trust me.”

  “No.” I shake my head, not to add on to the conviction of my answer but to beg the tears from falling.

  He sits up in his seat as I sit back, biting my thumb.

  “You know why I never got them tested?” He doesn’t answer, but I can tell he has a pretty good idea as to what I’m about to tell him. “Because no matter what the test proves… it won’t make the pain any better. If they’re Chad’s or Noel’s, then my children are the product of rape. And one day I’ll have to tell them that. If they’re Gabriel’s… then they are a product of love… and one day I’ll have to tell them that. Both were a tragedy. Both were the reason for where we are today.” I can’t help the tears from falling and the stuttering from my lips. “I…” I point to myself. “I have to face it. I do and that is where the selfish part of me truly takes place. I don’t want to face it. Any of it.”

  “Then you should’ve stayed away,” he says as polite as possible.

  I nod agreeing and wiping my face.

  “I’m glad you didn’t.” I blink more than twice at his words. He looks down avoiding me and cracks his neck. “Just trust me on this. I won’t let anything happen to them. I’ve never been sure about anything, but I am sure about that.”

  I believe him. It’s the same thing I told his father when he asked me to abort them. I considered it. I considered it very hard and long. I wanted them gone just as much as I wanted them.

  “When your dad found out I was pregnant, he asked me to have an abortion. It was actually the only time he was sort of nice. He asked it in a very polite way and I wanted to do it. I was so scared, but… I had this dream that Gabriel was holding a baby before I even knew I was having twins.” I laugh. “He was holding a baby and he was happy. This big smile. Tell you the truth, he didn’t even really seem real. He didn’t seem like Gabriel, just a whole ‘nother person. After that dream, I realized I wanted to be that person holding that baby. I wanted to be happy. I hoped they would fill the void of this hole in my heart, but you can’t never really replace or fill in voids, ya know? Remember that Hugo. The pain you go through will always be there – a part of your heart. It will always be there, but when you experience love again in any form… it just adds on. So all I could ever do was hope that love for my kids would outweigh the damage and hate I had. Have,” I admit.

  “So far what do you think?”

  “I think I’ve been letting the latter win. What about you?”

  “The same.”

  It’s amazing how you barely know someone but are connected. Juliet was right. We inherited each other and we are, as crazy as it is… family. At least I think I would like that. With him and August.

  “So,” I get out of my thoughts and get back to the main reason why I’m here and I’m beginning to see it Hugo’s way. “What do you wanna do?”

  SCARLETT

  “Does anyone know what this shit is about?” Chad asks. We’re sitting in a boardroom in the Ritz Carlton. Chad, Noel, and I each received a text to meet Karlie and Hugo here. Noel and Chad have come out of fear thinking she has something on us. I’ve come out of curiosity.

  “Who knows?” Noel is practically biting his nails off and Chad is high. As to be expected – predictable. I look at the two men I’ve somewhat created and I shake my head. Always predictable, always needy, always little boys. Little boys with lonely souls bound to be damned forever.

  “I wonder where I went wrong with you two,” I voice suddenly and they just look at me confused.

  “You went with them in the first place.” I turn my head and smile at Hugo who is leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

  “I suppose I was just betting on quantity when it came to horses… never quality,” I say.

  “I suppose so.”

  “You turned out alright though.” I wink and he still smirks at me unbothered.

  “Good, you’re all here.” We look to the other side of the dark boardroom and see Karlie. Hugo opens the curtains releasing the sun as Karlie sits at the head of the table. Hugo standing behind her like a good boy.

  “So I see you just keep downgrading when it comes to women, Hugo,” I say and Karlie snickers.

  “No, I’m still with the best. This one is more like family. Literally, if you think about it.”

  There is something cryptic about the way he says it.

  “So what do you want?” Chad asks, licking his lips, his eyes gazing at Karlie who doesn’t show her disgust right away.

  “Other than your dick on a platter to feed my dog… just your DNA,” she says.

  “What?” Noel asks.

  “You want the DNA…” Chad leans forward, his head tilting to the side. “It’s a little too late for investigation, isn’t it?”

  “Investigation into what, Chad?” Hugo tries to bait him some more, daring him to confess. They could be recording us now, hoping to one day show everyone the truth no matter if it’s too late to bring up charges or not. Even Chad isn’t that high or stupid to say anything.

  He just sits back in his chair with the occasional sniff and a
smug grin on his face, watching as Karlie’s grip tightens on the hotel pen she is holding.

  Hugo places his hand on her shoulder and pulls out his cell. I’m guessing he’s sending a text. Not a second later after that text, the doors of the conference room open and two kids walk in. Well, the girl skips in while the boy strides with a smile on his face. I can’t take my eyes off them as they cling close to Karlie. The boy sits on her lap and the girl rests her head on her shoulder. They look around at us in the room and for a moment the girl’s eyes pause on mine. I have a quick disdain for her and her pureness and beauty and the boy, well he is a killer on the looks… just like his father.

  “Um… are the- these your kids?” Noel stammers as the color drains from Chad’s face.

  “Yes… Oliver and Suzanna… they’re six. Will be seven in December.”

  I can see both their Adam’s apples stuck after Karlie’s confirmation of age. Little bastards’ birthday in December, meaning she got pregnant in March around that night.

  “Mommy, can we go back and play now?” the girl asks.

  Karlie smiles lovingly at her. “Yeah, baby.”

  The kids run back out and Karlie clears her throat. “Again… DNA.”

  “You can’t expect those kids to really be either of theirs, do you?” I ask.

  “Noel, most likely no. Chad, maybe. Hugo will give the DNA for Gabriel’s side,” she says.

  “They sort of… they sort of look like me,” Chad says and I’ll be damned if I don’t see this glimmer of hope to be redeemed in his hazy blue eyes. He realizes this and slams his hand on the table. “This is bullshit. You expect us to even agree to this?! Kids born out of what we did?! Get the fuck out of here.” He flips the chair over.

  “Is that guilt I hear, Chad?” Hugo is amused and so am I.

  “Listen Karlie,” Noel panics. “I’m so sorry about everything. They made me do it.”

  “I know, Noel,” Karlie calms him down. “I also know that when it came time for you to step up… you didn’t do shit but hide behind your mommy like you always do. You get no sympathy from me. My assistant will give you the location and time later on today. We will get this done quick and get the results back asap.”

  “And why invite me? I know I have more balls than the men in this room, but… you do know this does nothing for me, don’t you?” I ask.

  “I just wanted you to know that we know that you were with Gabriel the night he supposedly killed himself.” Interesting. “We know that supposedly there was a confession about murdering someone. We know and you can hide it with that bitch ass smile on your face, but just know. You are going down, bitch.”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about but… that sounded like a declaration of war.”

  “The declaration was made the moment you fucked with me and my family, sweetie. I just wanted to catch you up.” My jaw twitches a little, but I still keep my composure and I look up at Hugo.

  “You really believe that? That I’m capable of killing someone?” He nods his head and he’s right. Definitely right, but the real question is, “Do you think I killed your brother? Or do you think he killed himself?”

  He doesn’t respond and the uncertainty in his eyes shows immensely.

  “Noel, Chad, I’ll be seeing you. Hugo, can you give me and Scarlett a minute?” Karlie asks.

  Everyone leaves out of the room and it’s just me and her.

  She stretches and sighs, trying to act unbothered by the way I make her skin crawl. “Want a drink?” she asks smiling.

  “Why not.”

  HUGO

  “Hugo, I’ll do whatever you need me to do to ensure those children’s wellbeing,” Noel quickly says once we get to the elevator.

  “I’m sure you will, Noel.”

  “Those kids are Gabriel’s. They’re twins. Not that good looking,” Chad says out of spite.

  “Yeah, but there is always that possibility, isn’t there?” I tease and the panicked look in his face gives me pleasure.

  They enter the elevator and stand back. “Have a good day, boys.” I wave as the doors close and breathe, closing my eyes and having a moment to myself.

  “Whatya doin?” I turn around and see the little girl, Suzie. She really does resemble my mother when she was happy.

  “Throwing out the trash,” I say. She just stares at me with her head titled to the side. Her gold curls put up in a bun. She’s holding a tablet.

  “Well, we haven’t really been introduced,” I say to a six year old and stick out my hand. “I’m Hugo.”

  “That’s a funny name,” she laughs.

  “Well my mother liked it.”

  “I like it too.”

  “Good.” I’m still holding out my hand for her to shake, but she goes in for the kill and wraps her arms around my legs. I stay still to hold my balance and hold my hands up, not sure what to do. I give her a light tap on her small back.

  “I like hugs.”

  “Yeah, I see that. I don’t.” Not a nice thing to say to a kid, but she is unbothered by it. She just lets go and smiles up at me.

  “You’re funny,” she says, her missing teeth becoming clear the wider her smile gets. “Funny people are destined for greatness.”

  “Where did you hear that?”

  She shrugs. “I think I’m psychic.”

  That makes no sense, but in the most extreme way my heart gets this funny feeling. A funny feeling that makes my heart beat faster and it’s like it’s the Juliet situation all over again, but obviously in a different way. It’s the feeling I would get when I witnessed my mother having good days. Good days that were so cherished and imprinted in my memory. I smile at Suzie and she is satisfied and drifts off to find her brother. I then picture that memory and not notice my mother but Gabriel. I notice how happy he was too.

  SCARLETT

  I finish the glass of fine red wine, I must admit, and watch as Karlie finishes hers. Neither of us has said a word yet. All we do is look at each other. Dirty looks that declare our distaste for one another.

  “So are we going to stare at each other all day or are you finally gonna release all that anger you have?” I speak first and she bites her smile.

  “I’ve always imagined what I’d say. What I’d do. You have a well perfected speech played out in your mind and it is forever in you until the moment. The moment comes and it all goes away. You’re forced to improvise.” She takes a breath. “Fuck you.”

  I giggle. “That’s surprising. Nothing I’ve never heard before. One of the many things Gabriel said before he blew out his brains.”

  “I know you did something.”

  “No, I didn’t. I know it’s really important for you to think that your love could conquer anything… but it couldn’t conquer how sick Gabriel really was. Just like his mother.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” she shrugs. “Maybe you are exactly right, but the thing is… you still lose.”

  “How?”

  “No one is ever going to love you like that. Not like the way Gabriel and I loved each other. Definitely not the way Hugo and Juliet love each other. Hell, I’m with you that Gabriel and I were doomed, but Hugo has a shot. And even though I suffered… those amazing kids out there… they are the real blessing of that love. You will never have that. Patrick is it? He loves you… but not you, and one day… it will not be enough even for you. It’s going to be lonely not having someone you can truly be yourself with.”

  My teeth grind without my permission and my pulse races. I didn’t think I would be this heated about Karlie’s words.

  “I wouldn’t count Hugo out yet,” I say what I still believe.

  “Nah.” She shakes her head smirking. “Have you seen the way he looks at that girl… Jesus, there is nothing stopping that. But then again maybe they won’t last, but like Juliet has given him evidence of hope… I’ve given him the hope. Even he can’t deny what he feels for my kids because they are a part of his bloodline. I was always scared to confirm it but no
w… I’m ready. And when it’s confirmed that will be one more thing I got with Gabriel that you could never have.”

  “My, you have gotten very confident, haven’t you? You’ve come a long way from the black poor girl meant for nothing but welfare checks like your mother.”

  Now her teeth are grinding but still she keeps it fierce. I might even come to respect her a little now.

  “I’m gonna let you have that one, bitch.” She stands up and heads out before turning back to face me. “But you know what always kept me in good spirits too? The fact that you were so jealous of this poor black girl… that you bothered at all.”

  I keep smiling until she leaves. What is it about the good? No matter what they keep coming and coming. What more can you do to destroy hope?

  14

  JULIET

  The meeting went well according to Hugo and he even found himself smiling talking about his interaction with Suzie before catching it. Now he wants to introduce them to August, so he decided to give Ms. Eleanor something to do by hosting a lovely get together at her home with just us and Karlie, her mum, and the twins.

  “They are divine!” Ms. Eleanor hugs the twins in excitement. “They are the spitting image of their father!”

  “Ms. Eleanor, we haven’t had them tested yet,” Hugo whispers.

  “Oh please, no need! I know those eyes. Nothing weak or horrid about them.” She’s referring to Chad and Noel most likely. “No, these eyes are filled with life and fire.”

  The kids laugh and take an instant liking to Ms. Eleanor.

  “I have a table set with fabulous food from Chef Montagne, including his fabulous sliders with blue cheese and fresh spinach and these divine breaded dough filled with mozzarella.”

  “You mean cheese sticks?” Anika asks.

  “Oh I do believe that is the term used at the fast food chains.”

  We all laugh, even Anika and Karlie’s mum.

  “Everyone come!” Ms. Eleanor leads the way, but Karlie holds the twins back as Hugo heads to the stairs where August sits. I hear him urging August to come and he does.

  “You guys look alike,” Ollie says.