The showers left quite a bit to be desired, but at least he felt a little cleaner. The stalls were much smaller than he remembered the last time he’d been on a train, but he guessed that had something to do with the fact that he was much bigger now. He kept it quick, since the water wasn’t all that hot and the space was cramped. Hunger prodded him as well, and in a short time, he stood outside his compartment, trying not to laugh.
The attendant was standing next to the bunk, staring down at the bed. He held up the top covers, head tilted as he peered at them.
Finley had to bite his lip in an attempt to keep from laughing. He swallowed a few times and finally managed to collect himself. “Is something wrong?”
The attendant spun around, looking horribly confused. “Uh… I don’t know. There’s… dog hair all over your sheets. Did you bring a dog on board?” He bent, looking under the bunk as if Finley had hidden a dog there.
Finley struggled to keep his grin buried. “No, no dog here. Uh… I didn’t notice any dog hair?” Wolf hair, yes. But no dog hair. Finley didn’t mind splitting hairs.
“I’m very sorry, sir. I don’t know—”
Finley held up his hand. “It’s okay. I’ve got animals at home. Nothing to worry about.”
The attendant looked relieved, and Finley turned to focus on stuffing his clothes into the little bag he had in their microsized closet. He decided to make use of the toilet too. By the time he got back, the man had stripped the bed and reset the seats.
“Thanks,” Finley said, smiling.
“I’ll be back shortly with your breakfast,” he said, making a quick escape.
As soon as he was gone, Fin closed the door and let out the laugh. He settled onto the seat, pulled out the table, and looked outside, watching the scenery.
He’d needed that laugh. He rubbed his hand over his chest. His heart physically ached without his mate near. He was beginning to wonder if he could do this.
It was beginning to feel like a real mistake. Maybe not being claimed wasn’t so bad if they were at least close together. He closed his eyes and rested his head back on the seat.
No. It was getting almost physically painful to have his mate close and not be claimed. His wolf has been making him nuts over it. He didn’t doubt Tanner’s wolf wasn’t taking things any better.
He rubbed his face, tugged his backpack closer, and pulled out his phone. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see more messages or missed calls from Tanner, but he did need to check for any from his parents.
The signal out there sucked, but he had three texts waiting for him. They must have come in overnight. He opened the one from his mom, who was just checking in, asking how he was.
Train’s still moving. I’m still alive. Can’t commit to more than that right now.
To his surprise, it sent right away. He pulled up his grandmother’s message, which was just confirming his arrival time. He steeled himself to open Tanner’s, but his mom replied first.
So sorry, honey. Oregon should help. Love you. Text when Grammy has you.
He swallowed, grateful his mom seemed to, if not understand, at least empathize. I will. Love you. Give smacks to A & B.
The reply from his mom was simply LOL. He loved that she wasn’t allergic to technology and understood a lot about it.
He debated not even reading Tanner’s, but he couldn’t bring himself to ignore it. He took a deep breath and opened it up.
Thinking of you. Miss you.
Well, fuck. Finley closed his eyes, struggling against sudden tears. How the hell did he answer that?
He swallowed around the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. He hadn’t lied to Tanner yet, and despite the mess, he refused to start. Can’t stop thinking of you. Miss you too. He waited for a reply, not sure he should even expect one.
Can I call you?
He blinked at the phone. It would be a bad idea. If he listened too much to Tanner, he’d end up right back on a return train. Besides, the signal really did suck.
Signal out here sucks. Not a good time.
The reply came fast and really shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did, in a good way. Call me when you get to Oregon?
For reasons Finley wasn’t sure he was ready to address, it felt good to know Tanner had found out where he was going. He took a deep breath. He still needed to be careful. He noticed there was no talk of mating or claiming.
Maybe. I still need space, Tan.
Okay.
Finley could feel the disappointment that filled the word. He refused to let it bother him.
Text? So I know you’re safe?
He sighed. If nothing else, Tanner at least cared about his safety. I will.
Before he could get another response, he turned the phone off and stuffed it back in his bag. Instead, he pulled out his laptop. He needed to stop focusing on this stuff. He pulled up one of his favorite werewolf movies and dug out his headphones. Though their “werewolf form” was downright ugly, Scott Speedman’s hotness more than made up for it. And despite being female, Kate Beckinsale was as badass as they come as she killed vampires and werewolves alike, all while falling in love with her supposed archenemy. He hit play, then settled in to watch, and wait for his breakfast, hoping the movie could get his mind off of things.
He needed to. Just one more day. He could handle that.
Chapter Five
FINLEY YAWNED and rubbed at his eyes. It was way too early… or maybe it was too late. He didn’t know. It didn’t matter, five o’clock should not exist more than once a day.
The last portion of any trip always felt the longest. His trip across Montana had taken much less time than he’d thought it would. He’d managed to get off the train at the two short layovers in Havre and Whitefish, but it hadn’t been nearly enough. There’d been a break in Spokane, but he’d actually slept through it.
Still, the landscape as they’d approached the mountains had been breathtaking. He’d refused to recognize the stab at wanting to show it to Tanner. Instead, he’d been grateful for his enhanced vision so he could see the beautiful peaks of the Glacier Park, even in the dark.
Now he stood with his suitcase near the door, desperately wishing the last few miles didn’t take what felt like an hour to cover. He so needed to be off the train already. He kept switching from his phone’s GPS to the window, trying to see where they were.
Thanks to his eyesight, he spotted the control tower for the tiny airport off in the distance and, consulting his map, knew the station was finally getting close. He flipped over to the messages, brought his mom up, and let her know he was officially in Pasco, Washington, his last stop. He sent his grandparents the next one, letting them know he was near the airport. Their reply let him know they were inside the train station waiting.
He stared at Tanner’s name for a long time before he brought up the message list. He found two more I miss you messages. God, he wished he could really believe that. Maybe Tanner did miss him, but Finley still didn’t think it was the same thing he was experiencing. Because if Tanner really did, there’d be a message about coming to claim him. Since Tanner hadn’t said anything to that effect, Finley didn’t buy it.
He sighed and tried to set the worry aside to at least make sure Tanner knew he was safe. Made it to Washington. Have to meet with Alpha Todd. Shifting after, don’t know for how long. Hopefully, that would keep Tanner happy for a while.
He didn’t know why he was so concerned with keeping Tanner happy, but he found he still didn’t want to concern his mate. At least not about safety and the like. Tanner could worry until he was blue in the face about their status as mates. With a sigh he shoved his phone into his jeans pocket and tried to find his patience.
“FINLEY!” GRAMMY called, waving from the corner of the lobby.
Finley hurried across the floor and wrapped her up in his arms. He’d only been away for two years, but somehow she seemed even smaller than she’d been when he left.
Grammy didn’t look even re
motely like a grandmother. Thanks to their longevity, her aging had slowed a good twenty years ago. Her hair was still as naturally black as it had ever been, her pale skin was as smooth as ever, and the green eyes they shared were as sharp as his mother said they were when she’d been a pup.
“It’s so good to see you, Grammy,” he murmured into her hair. He towered over her by a good eight inches and could wrap his arms completely around her twice.
“Good to see you, pup. I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you decided to come out.”
Finley let her go and turned to his grandfather. They could be twins except for a little bit of age in his skin, the blue eyes, about two inches of height, and the fact that his grandfather had a good fifty pounds of muscle on him. He grinned. “Hey, old man.”
His grandfather cuffed him on the back of the head before pulling him in for a hug. “Glad you’re here, pup. Now she can fuss over someone else.”
Finley laughed. “Great.”
“How are you?” Grammy asked, sharp gaze missing nothing.
Finley’s smile faded. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly, shrugging. He swallowed, trying not to let the hurt out.
“That’s okay,” she said, nodding. “You don’t have to yet.”
“I need to run. I’m hoping that will help.”
“It will, pup,” his grandfather said. “Let’s go. I need coffee. Even I’m not used to being up at this hour.”
And just like that, Finley felt a little better.
THE DRIVE to the land at the foot of the mountains his old pack held took a little over two hours. They found a Starbucks on the other side of the Columbia River, and then Finley settled, resigning himself to the third degree he knew he was about to get.
To his surprise, though, Grammy didn’t ask about Tanner. She turned around in her seat to look at him. “We were so proud to hear about your grades, Fin. Have you decided on your college yet?”
Finley sighed. “Pitt, I guess. They’ve got the best Ecology and Environmental Science program. Point Park has one, but I’m not as happy with some of the classes. Besides, I can take a chunk of my general education courses at the Greensburg campus of Pitt.” He paused and sucked in a breath. “If that matters anymore,” he finished softly, looking out the window. “I’d… been expecting to be living with my mate.”
“Well, that sounds like an interesting major,” Grammy said, thankfully ignoring the rest.
“Know what you’re doing with it? Where you’ll work?” Grandpaw asked.
“I’m hoping to work out in Forbes State Forest or the state parks for the Wildlife Conservancy. Who better to help maintain the forests than someone who needs them?”
Grandpaw laughed. “True.”
“With any luck, I can help influence the data about the local wolf population while I’m at it.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Eastern Oregon University has an ecology program.”
“Don’t make any rash decisions, pup,” Grandpaw said.
“He’s right… and take note of that. I don’t say that often,” Grammy said, making Finley laugh. “You know you’re welcome with us, if you want to go to school here. But don’t rush anything.”
“Yeah, I guess.” He fell silent for a long time, watching out the windows, but the scrub landscape wasn’t much to look at.
“Tell me about the rest of your pack,” Grammy said.
Finley smiled. “There aren’t many young wolves right now. Tanner and me. A couple of others. They were big into football in school, so we weren’t exactly friends. There are more my sisters’ ages. Beth has a best friend that’s ten like her. And Anna’s is a year older than her. Beth’s had two of the boys sniffing around her already. I’ve had to try to look threatening.”
Grammy laughed. “Too bad for you, though.”
Finley shrugged. “I met Tanner right after getting there, you know? We became friends as well….” He drank more coffee. That was part of what hurt so bad. Tanner was also his best friend.
“I told you about Jamie, didn’t I?”
Finley looked up, raising his eyebrows. “Jamie?”
“Yes, the new pup in the pack. He’s going to EOU and with us while he is.”
“Oh, that’s right.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know about Jamie, much less meet him. If Jamie really was gay, Finley didn’t think he needed that kind of temptation, at least until he was sure what he wanted to do. On the other hand, having a friend while he dealt with this wouldn’t be a bad thing.
“Tell me about the classes you’re going to take,” Grammy said, and Finley pushed the worry away for the time being.
ALPHA TODD had always intimidated Finley. Of course, Finley had been quite a bit shorter and skinnier the last time they’d seen each other. He was still a formidable figure, towering over Finley by at least half a foot. And the man’s shoulder width put most of the Steeler defensive line to shame. Finley wasn’t sure how old he was, but he had threads of silver running through his brown hair, which meant he certainly wasn’t young.
“Finley, welcome back, pup,” Alpha Todd greeted him, holding his hand out.
Finley shook, tilting his head to bare his neck in respect. “Thanks, Alpha. It’s good to be back. I’ve missed the Pacific Northwest.”
“Beautiful country,” Alpha Todd agreed. “Still don’t see what made your folks move.”
“Well, you know, just a little thing like making money,” Finley said, making the alpha laugh.
“Yeah, I guess that’s kind of important. Have a seat,” he said, holding a hand out. When they’d both settled into chairs opposite each other, he asked, “What brings you back?”
Finley hesitated. He didn’t want to lie, especially if he decided to stay for school. His alpha—even a temporary one—deserved to know if there were problems. He had no doubt Tanner’s father was aware of it. “I met my destined mate in Pittsburgh.”
“That’s wonderful!”
“Except… he’s not willing to claim me.”
Alpha Todd’s eyebrows dropped down in a scowl Finley was glad was not meant for him. He shivered anyway. “Whyever not? What on earth would keep him from claiming his mate?”
Finley sighed. “He says I’m too young.”
The scowl deepened. “But you’re of age.”
“I know,” Finley said, nodding. “I know. I… I don’t know if there’s something… more?” He shrugged. “He claims he doesn’t want to tie me down too early. Afraid I’ll resent him or something. We’ve been going over and over this for two years, since we met. I turned eighteen two months ago. I’d agreed to wait—in deference to human laws—but then he… I don’t know, came up with new excuses? I don’t really know. But I… it’s… I needed space. Grammy and Grandpaw said I could come out here and take some time.”
Alpha Todd nodded. “Of course you’re welcome. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances. If I can do anything, let me know.”
Finley gave a weak smile. “I don’t know what you could do. Unless you know something I don’t. I don’t understand why he’d resist. Well… anyway, thank you.”
Todd stood and held out his hand, and Finley shook it again. “Sure thing, pup. I’ll see you on the full moon, then.”
“Thanks,” Finley said again, then met his grandparents by the car. “I’m just going to head out from here. I’ll catch up with you later?”
“Of course, pup,” Grammy said. “Do you know how long you’ll be out?”
Finley shook his head. “No. Probably overnight, at least? I just need some time with him.” They knew he meant his wolf.
“Okay, honey.” Grammy smiled.
Thankfully, Alpha Todd’s house was surrounded by trees at the end of the road, so Finley didn’t have to worry about shifting here. He peeled off his shirt and handed it over, then made quick work of the rest of his clothes, giving them to her as well. Finally, he greeted his wolf. With a last wave at his grandparents, he let his wolf free. A moment later, he was looking up at the car. He gave
a great shake before rearing upon his hind legs, sticking his nose in the window, and licking Grammy’s cheek.
She laughed. “Go on with you,” she said, scratching him behind the ear.
He got down, gave a bark, then turned and headed for the tree line. After one more look over his shoulder and a return bark to another wave, he took off at a dead run.
FINLEY LET his wolf take over, going entirely on instinct for a while. It felt good to clear his mind and worry only about hunting, drinking, and chasing things. He scared a few hares, more than one beaver, and got yelled at by an entire family of river otters.
When he got hungry, he actually caught the hares, and the thrill of the hunt filled him with a sense of right he hadn’t had in a long time. The wolf part of him—the hunter, the predator—reveled in the stalking and the kill. The meat and blood tasted good, soothing a primal need he’d been neglecting.
He cleaned up in the stream, then found the clearing he used to love to spend time in when he was younger. The sun, now high in the sky, warmed him as he rolled in the grass.
But the best part of being a wolf: he could lick his own balls.
Unfortunately, it didn’t do nearly as much for him in wolf form as he suspected it would as a human. Still, he took the opportunity just because he could, making sure they were clean. Then, when he’d scratched his itches, nearly knocking himself over in the process, the lull of a summer afternoon enticed him to curl up and nap.
It’d been a long time since he’d spent so much time in wolf form. He’d forgotten just how easy it was, how simple it was to follow instinct. He didn’t have to worry about studies or work or anything. Instead, he could follow the scents that attracted him, allow curiosity to guide him, and let the sun and moon be his clock.
He managed to take down a doe for dinner. He surprised himself with just how hungry he’d been, but he supposed an entire day of running, chasing, hunting, and playing would do that for him.
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