“Gone, yes, but I can’t imagine you were ever forgotten,” Griff said. He saw Slade and Jordana on the edge of the dance floor. They were deep within each other’s arms, dancing a very intimate dance. Griff wanted to hold Val in the same way. But if he tried that, he’d break the trust he was building with her. Patience, he cautioned himself. Patience.
Maybe it was Griff. Maybe it was her. Val didn’t care and ignored her fear. She stepped closer to Griff, her breasts grazing his powerful chest. He didn’t look surprised. Instead, she saw his eyes narrow upon her, his hand tighten around hers. For a moment, Val wanted to ignore her distrust of men. She simply wanted to fall into Griff’s arms and surrender to him. Resting her brow against his shoulder, she felt him hold her gently. The movements of their bodies began to automatically move in sync with one another.
Val could feel the muscles beneath his suit move as her fingers grazed the material. She allowed the music to lull her and within moments, she melted against his tall frame. Feeling her breasts tighten as she danced, Val felt an intense hunger to be with Griff in every possible way. When his hand curled and entwined around hers and he brought it gently against his chest, Val closed her eyes and dissolved. There was such quiet strength about Griff. Intuitively, she realized as she pressed her body against his, he would protect her from the storms of life. He was that kind of man. And she’d never run into anyone like him until now.
The end of the song neared but Val didn’t want it to end. Looking up at Griff, she could tell he wanted to kiss her. Should she? Feeling his hand slide slowly up her spine and then cup her shoulder, she felt Griff silently asking her the same thing. Did she want to be kissed by him or not? The chatter of people’s voices dimmed as Val focused on Griff’s lips. Something rebellious swept through her as she realized Buck’s abuse had kept her from freedom. Freedom to be herself and not worry what others thought. Freedom to love.
In that moment as the music drifted to a close, Val leaned forward, her hand upon Griff’s chest and she placed her mouth against his. For once, she didn’t care what anyone thought. This time Val wanted to satisfy her longing and share how she felt about this wrangler who had walked into her life. As her lips met his, she felt him tense. Griff’s fingers tightened on her shoulder and he drew her near. Their bodies were pressed tightly against one another. His mouth opened and he took hers gently, testing and tasting her.
Her lips gliding across his, Val closed her eyes and absorbed Griff into her entire being. She felt his moist, ragged breath against her cheek, felt his shaven skin rub against her softer flesh, felt the power of his mouth as he molded and shaped her to him. The lime fragrance of his soap swirled with his aphrodisiac masculine scent. They combined and Val opened her mouth to eagerly explore him. The world around Val withdrew. She no longer heard the music or the chatting dancers still on the floor around them. Her entire being was anchored around Griff. As his lips moved and he invited her to respond, Val felt bold. There was a part of her that had cried for this moment for years. Now, he was kissing her, holding her, their bodies melting against each other. The world swirled and Val enjoyed the slow exploration between them.
Gradually she eased away from Griff. She lifted her lashes to see his eyes burning with need—for her. Startled and yet pleased by the realization, she managed a shy smile as she pulled away. Griff shared an intimate look with her and Val felt her knees go soft. She felt feminine and desirable beneath his hungry look. He wanted to make love with her.
Searching her face, Griff saw desire burning hot in Val’s blue eyes. They were wide with wonder, like a young woman who had just discovered a hidden treasure. He felt his lower body hardening with painful need. Releasing his hand from her back, he allowed her to step out of the circle of his arms. Her cheeks were flushed a soft pink. More than anything, Griff liked the fact Val had initiated the kiss, not him. He understood the importance of her gesture more than ever. Val trusted him enough to kiss him. What kind of courage had it taken for her to step outside the box Buck had imprisoned her within? Letting go of her hand, he said in a low tone, “Would you like to get a drink from the bar?”
As they separated, Val felt bereft. For those stolen moments, she’d felt safe, protected and, most of all, loved. The feelings she had were so new to her, she felt overwhelmed. “No…” she said, her voice unsteady. “I need to get some fresh air.”
Nodding, Griff slipped his hand beneath Val’s elbow. He led her toward the doors of the armory. “All right?”
“I’m…not sure.” The light from above accentuated the rugged features of Griff’s face. His gaze was banked with desire. Val swallowed hard. In her tumbling mind and senses, she saw them in the barn, lying in the straw, making wild, unfettered love. And suddenly, the last place she wanted to be was here.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
AS THEY WALKED through the crowds toward the opened doors of the armory, Val was still wrapped in the sensual heat of Griff’s kiss. He had rocked her world. Pushing some strands of hair off her brow, she realized a number of people had been watching them. They’d seen her kiss him. Her earlier boldness began to disintegrate as chagrin and then embarrassment flowed through her. She needed to escape. To think through what had just happened. Griff walked at her side, his hand resting lightly on her back, guiding her through the last group of people near the door.
The stars twinkled and danced in the black velvet of the night as Val walked away from the entrance of the armory. She wrapped her arms around herself and continued to move to the edge of the parking lot. There were a number of couples outside, some smoking cigarettes and others chatting in small parties. She knew from growing up here that the armory served as the center for most social gatherings.
Val halted at the edge of the asphalt and turned toward Griff. He stood a respectful distance from her. Beneath the low lights sprinkled throughout the massive parking lot, his face was carved by the light and dark. Val saw smoldering desire banked in his narrowed eyes. Trembling inwardly, she absorbed his predatory look with anticipation. Griff halted about four feet in front of her, his thumbs hooked into the pockets of his trousers. She saw so much in the expression of his deeply tanned face.
Her voice came out low and unsteady. “I owe you an explanation.” Glancing around, Val made sure no one was within earshot.
“Why?” Griff studied her and he saw angst in her eyes. This has to do with the past. Had his kiss unlocked her fears? That would explain why she was slowly shifting from one foot to another like a wild horse that had been cornered.
She uncrossed her arms. “I haven’t had a stellar track record with relationships, Griff.”
An understanding smile crossed his face. “Makes two of us.”
Brows raising slightly, Val studied him. There was mirth in his eyes and a wry quality to his low voice. “Really?”
“I never could settle down. I had a lot of relationships in New York, but they all fell through for one reason or another.” Then he added softly, “I figured one day I’d meet the woman I was really looking for.” In his heart, Griff knew Val was that woman. He didn’t say anything because it wasn’t the right time or place. Seeing Val’s brows fall, her gaze avoiding his as she absorbed his admission, Griff tried to remain relaxed. It was impossible, of course, because they’d now kissed. He’d tasted her soft lips against his own. Griff knew they could never go back to the way things were before. What did it mean? Was Val angry or upset because he’d kissed her? Was she going to tell him he was fired because he’d overstepped his bounds as a wrangler who worked on her ranch? Inwardly, he sighed and realized this talk was going to be edgy and tense.
“What I’ve been through, the abuse has stained me…or has done something to make me terrified of all men. Oh, I know that only one man did this to me. But men have always triggered an irrational fear in me even though I consciously know it isn’t their fault.” Val rested her fingers over
her heart. “I like men, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that…” Her voice trailed off as she searched for the right words.
Griff provided the words for her. “You can’t trust us?”
“Yes, that’s it. I’ve always had trouble with trust because of my past. Lord knows, I struggle with it all the time. Any man I met in my life, it was the same story. I constantly told myself these men had not hurt me.” Val’s mouth moved into a pained slash for a moment. Looking away, her voice trembled. “I’ve fought this fear my entire life, Griff. I’ve made strides, but I’m not there yet.”
Griff gave her a tender look. “You’re trying, Val. That’s as good as it gets.” He saw anguish in her darkened eyes and in her expression. Wanting to reach out and touch her hair, Griff stopped himself. The kiss they’d shared had opened a wound he couldn’t have guessed lived within her. Now, he saw her shame, her hopelessness and need of him all wrapped up in her struggles.
Just being near Griff made Val want to step back into his arms. She wanted to explore his masculinity, savor the hardness of his muscled frame against hers once more. He made her feel safe, wanted, cherished and protected all at once. Never having experienced this particular response to any man shook her to the roots of her being. “Our kiss…”
“I liked sharing it with you, Val.”
“I…liked it too, but it opened up a can of worms that’s always inside me, Griff.” Val stared up at him. “I’m such an ambivalent mixture of emotions right now.”
“It’s okay, Val. I’m not going to force myself on you. I’ve been wanting this to happen for a long time. I see you as a strong, beautiful, Wyoming-bred woman. You have spirit, moxie and you’re not afraid to throw yourself at hard work.”
The warmth in his rasping tone sent fluttering tremors along every inch of her flesh. Melting beneath his tender gaze, Val felt like a thief stealing his heart energy. “I—I guess I’m just realizing how much I’ve missed in my life. I’ve denied myself most relationships with men. When I did get involved, it always ended in a mess because of my own fears. I was afraid that the guy would turn out to be just like my father. In all but one relationship, I would break it up and run away.”
“It would be easy to project that onto any man,” he quietly agreed.
With a raw sigh, Val opened her hands. “My head knows I’m wrong for always running away from a possible relationship, Griff. My emotions aren’t at the point yet to help me stay the course. No matter how much I tell myself you aren’t a threat to me, I’ve only climbed that hurdle once before.”
Nodding, Griff held her tearful gaze. He ached to sweep Val into his arms and embrace her. He knew he could give Val solace, the sense of protection that she clearly wanted but didn’t know how to get. “I’ve always thought your name was short for valiant, not Valerie. You are a valiant warrior whether you know it or not. You are trying to change. Don’t stress on this, Val. We have all the time in the world.”
“Thanks for understanding. I like the idea of being valiant. It’s something to aspire to become. In some ways, I see myself like a wild mustang that runs free. I see most men trying to rope and imprison me in a corral and then force me into a saddle and bridle.”
“Good analogy. No mustang likes to be alone in her or his life. They are herd animals and they’re happiest when they’re running with their own kind.”
Some of the tension dissolved in Val. Griff was willing to talk and share with her. He wasn’t going to grab and try to kiss her again as other men had, pushing her beyond her comfort zone. That made him different. A sense of safety surrounded her for the first time. Hungry for understanding, she said, “You’re right. I think all humans are herd animals of a sort. We can’t go through life alone.”
“We need one another. I need my brother, Slade. Even though we were separated at birth, my need for him was always there even though I was on the other coast. And, all things being equal, I’m glad my life fell apart in New York City and I was forced to come home and ask him for help.”
“Now, you’re in a positive relationship with him.”
“I am, but the important thing is it didn’t happen overnight. There was a lot of work on both our parts to make it happen. I’m still integrating with him. We still have rough spots to work through.”
“Slade is giving you a chance to do that, though.” Val saw Griff’s eyes go soft. “You’re fraternal twins. You share an invisible bond that can’t be broken no matter how far apart you live.”
Griff stubbed the toe of his cowboy boot against the green grass. “Yes, it’s true.” Lifting his head, he met and held Val’s warm gaze. “The same concept applies to men and women, too. Not that I’m a great spokesman for it.” He managed a derisive laugh. “Our nature is to be together, to form a relationship, later a bond where trust and respect can grow. And then, who knows? Maybe live together and later, get married when it looks like it’s going to work out.”
“I guess we’re all wild mustangs in a way.” Val studied the stars high above them, her eyes settling on the Milky Way. The billions of stars looked like a glittering river of spilled milk across the sky. Tearing herself from the nighttime beauty, she met Griff’s interested gaze. “Why haven’t you married? I would have thought you would be seen as a very eligible bachelor back in New York.”
Lifting his hands, Griff draped them across his hips. “Well, there’s a hidden dilemma with that observation.” He gave her a sour smile. “I found out very quickly, and I was also warned by my uncle and aunt, a lot of women would want to marry me precisely because I was rich. I grew up with those warnings in my ears. And they were right. I had my pick of just about any woman I wanted.” His brows fell. “They loved my money but they didn’t love me.”
“How could you tell?”
“If I talked about Wyoming or about my twin, I could see their eyes glaze over with boredom. But if I talked about going to a five-star restaurant or to a Broadway show, they perked back up. It’s a subtle thing, Val, but I saw it so many times it became glaring to me.”
“How sad,” she murmured. Without thinking, she reached out and briefly touched his arm. “I’m sorry. I guess in the military, we didn’t see women of that caliber very often. They’re patriots, they have a job they’re proud of. Their focus is on their career, not finding a man who is rich.”
Griff tried to ignore how his skin grew hot where she’d briefly touched him. “Yeah, the sincerity wasn’t there, that’s for sure. And you’re right, women in the military are a different breed from these other women I encountered. It had nothing to do with the fact they were in New York City. You can find gold diggers anywhere in the world.”
“Has that jaded you toward women in general? That you can’t trust any woman’s motives?”
“A little. I’m always wary when a woman approaches me. The first thing I wonder is why she’s interested in me. My money? Or me?”
“Well,” Val laughed, “you don’t have to ask that question anymore, do you?”
Griff joined her laughter. He knew Val wasn’t making fun of him or deriding him for his fall from grace. “Touché.”
She absorbed his mirthful expression. “You have a good sense of humor, Griff. And you’re humble. I like that about you. You see a lot, but you don’t normally share it with others.”
“You know how men are,” Griff teased, his mouth widening into a full smile. “We don’t communicate very well. I’m trying to improve.”
It was impossible to not melt beneath Griff’s genuine smile and his low, deep voice. Val’s shoulders relaxed. “I think we’re all struggling with our different wounds and trying to heal ourselves.”
“Absolutely. We’re in the same kettle of stew when it comes to wounds. I’m trying to work through mine and get well. It’s a slow, tedious process but one I feel is worth it.”
“You have that Wyoming cowboy
honor and integrity. You’ll do it.”
“Those things were bred into me. And I’m glad of it. A man’s word is his bond out here. The biggest lesson I’ve learned of late is I can’t get through life without others.”
“I see it the same way. Everyone is struggling to survive. And we do need our family and friends to help us get there.”
“You’re trying to change your perceptions about men and I feel over time, you will.” Griff glanced over his shoulder at the armory. The music was floating out of the opened doors. Turning, he said, “Would you like to go back in? Or would you like me to take you home?”
“Gus is having such fun in there, I couldn’t leave.”
Silently applauding Val’s unselfish decision, Griff walked with her back toward the armory. He made no move to place his hand at the small of her back even though he wanted to. Instead, he walked at her side. Trust. Yes, that was the answer to his quandary. Griff knew he had to give Val the time she needed in order to trust him. And from the sound of it, Val had had at least one positive relationship with a man. It wasn’t as if she was a lost cause. He wanted to ask more about it but had to leave it to her to broach the subject. Would Val eventually allow herself to like him as much as he liked her? She was worth the wait. He remembered a favorite saying of his mother’s: Good things take time.
Inside the armory, there was a fast-paced-square-dance caller singing. Gus was on the floor with a gent her age. They were dancing, smiling and laughing. Val didn’t know who the bald-headed elder was. He wore a dark charcoal business suit that hung on his skinny frame and flapped around him like a set of crow’s wings.
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