“Drew? Can I talk to you about something?” I asked quietly and I felt him moving beneath me and when I looked up, his eyes were watching me curiously.
“Of course,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “You can talk to me about anything.”
“At work lately…I’ve been going out with one of the field reporters. You met her…Kara,” I said, glancing up at him and he nodded in recognition. “I’m learning a lot and it’s interesting.”
“That’s great. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“I think I might want to go back to school actually…to see about going into that field,” I told him and I could tell by the way his body stiffened for a moment that I’d caught him off guard.
“This is sudden. Have you been thinking about it?” he finally said.
“Not really. I mean…it’s crossed my mind a little, but it just kind of happened tonight,” I said and it was quiet for a few moments.
“Can I ask what transpired?”
“Just some conversations I had while you were entertaining the good doctor,” I began, trying to keep it light and I heard him laugh a little.
“That’s the last time I leave you unattended then since you come back with these radical ideas.”
“Radical?” I exclaimed, sitting up to see him grinning heartily.
“Don’t look so offended. You know I’m not serious.” He cupped my face with his hand, kissing me, the smile still on his face. “I’m anxious to hear more.”
“It’s just a thought. Maybe I won’t even do it.”
“No,” he said quickly. “You should do it or at least look into it.”
“You think so?” I asked, doubts starting to trickle in.
“I think you should do whatever makes you happy, Natalie. You know I’ll be here to support you in whatever you do. Now,” he said and I looked at his profile in the dark until I met his eyes. “It’s my turn to ask you something.”
“Anything.”
“What did you discuss tonight that brought you to this? I only ask because you didn’t discuss it with me and I worry I might’ve missed something…a need of yours that I’m not meeting.”
I watched as his smile from earlier turned to concern.
“I didn’t mean to worry you with this. I’m sorry for that.” I took his hand and I held it with both of mine. “Sometimes I watch you or people like Mya and your sister, Kayla, and I envy what you all have.” He tilted his head in curiosity as I continued. “You had a goal. You knew what you wanted. You had a vision for your life and you did it. You’re independent. When I think about my life…I can’t say that.”
“Natalie,” he interrupted softly. “I hate hearing you talk like this, as if you’re some kind of failure. I know you’re frustrated, but if it’s any consolation, I think you’re perfect.”
I couldn’t help but smile at his words, but it faded as I realized he didn’t understand. No matter how I tried to explain, he wouldn’t because he hadn’t experienced it.
“I just want more…out of myself,” I responded softly.
“Then I think you should go for it and whatever I can do to help, just ask.”
I could see by the way he looked at me that he meant what he said. His support wasn’t feigned. It was real and true because he loved me.
“Thank you,” I said, kissing him softly. “I love you, Drew.”
“And I adore you,” he replied, reaching over and kissing me before we snuggled back under the covers. He ran his fingertips over my arm until he fell asleep. It didn’t take him long, but I wasn’t so lucky. I kept wondering if I’d actually go through with it…with applying to graduate school. As I lay in his arms, my mind drifted to a conversation I’d had with Drew when he and I were just getting to know each other…when I was trying to understand my feelings for Ethan and for him. He’d told me I needed to live my life for me so I had the life I wanted. I hadn’t realized then how important those words would become.
Twenty-One
I was leaving for New York the next morning and Drew had gone into the office for a little while. I’d spent the morning packing and then researched a few colleges. He called me as he was heading back to the hotel and asked if I’d go with him on a drive up the coast since we’d missed out on our chance earlier in my visit.
I was glad we were keeping it causal. I didn’t need to do anything fancy. I just wanted to spend the afternoon with Drew because neither of us knew when we’d be together again.
He returned to the hotel around noon and I was ready to go in a black maxi skirt and blue tank top, my sides pinned back with my wavy hair hanging past my shoulders.
“I’ll be ready in just a second,” he assured me when he walked in, kissing me on the cheek and quickly changing into a pair of khaki shorts and a t-shirt.
A few minutes later we were in the car, making our way towards the coast. He held my hand as we drove and somehow the traffic gods had shined on us and it didn’t take us long to leave the city behind us.
“Have you started looking at schools yet?” he asked after a while.
“I did a little this morning.”
“Can I ask where?” I knew this was his way of seeing if I was entertaining his thoughts of me coming out to California.
“Mostly New York,” I told him, deciding for some reason not to tell him I’d even checked out a few schools in Iowa strictly out of curiosity.
“None on the West Coast then?”
“No. I thought the game plan was that you’d return to New York as soon as possible.”
“Oh, it most definitely is, but if you wanted to look out here, I wouldn’t be opposed and I could make adjustments in my home base until you’re done.”
I thought about pressing him and asking where he preferred, but I decided against it. I’d only just decided to even consider going back to school. I didn’t need to answer all these questions at once.
“You’ll let me know if you need any help, right?”
“Of course I will,” I said, squeezing his hand.
“You’re still thinking of going into journalism?”
“Yeah. The more I think about it, the more I could see myself doing that.”
He glanced away from the road for a second and I saw the smile on his face before he concentrated back on the road.
“I can definitely see you pursuing it.”
“You really think I’d be good at it?”
“Oh yeah,” he grinned at me again, raising his eyebrow for a second. “You’d be the hottest anchor on TV.”
I started laughing.
“Anchor? That’s quite a lofty goal.”
“If you’re going to dream, you might as well dream big, right?” he asked.
I felt a smile spreading on my face as I thought about his words.
“Yeah, I guess you should.”
He squeezed my hand and I turned my body so I was leaning against the door, allowing me to watch him as he drove. His free hand was gripping the wheel while he stared ahead, a content smile still on his face. I loved seeing him so at peace and that peace was spreading to me. I’d been nervous to talk to him about graduate school, but his encouragement was helping me think I might actually succeed.
“What is it?” he asked, glancing over to me with a grin before looking back at the road.
“Just thinking how lucky I am.”
“You’ve got it so wrong, Natalie,” he said, his tone changing from the lighthearted one of earlier to one with deep seriousness. “I’m the lucky one.”
He kissed the back of my hand just as I noticed we were entering Santa Barbara. He pulled off the highway into a parking lot overlooking the ocean. There was no denying it was beautiful. The water was crystal blue and tall rocky cliffs touched the shore.
“I thought this would be a nice place to get out and grab something to eat,” he said, turning off the car.
“Sounds good. I’m hungry,” I said, stepping out into the cool air.
It wasn’t as warm her
e as it’d been in L.A. and I reached in, grabbing the cardigan I’d brought with me just in case. I thought Drew would be waiting for me at the front of the car, but he went to the trunk instead and I was surprised to see him pull a fancy looking basket out.
“What’s that?” I asked him as a smile spread on his face.
“It’s our lunch…well, I’m not sure it can be classified as lunch. It is after two o’clock,” he said, walking up to me.
“A picnic?”
“I thought it’d be nice.”
“When did you have time to pack a picnic?”
“You forget my mantra, Natalie. Why do something yourself when you can pay someone to do it?” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Mya told me about this shop that does this kind of stuff. I thought it’d be nice.”
“It is. It’s very sweet.”
“Shall we then?” he asked and I nodded, linking arms with him as we made our way down to the beach.
My feet sunk in as we walked and I looked around. It wasn’t crowded, but we definitely weren’t alone. I thought we’d find a spot close by, but Drew kept walking, almost like he knew exactly where he was going. The farther we walked, the less populated the beach appeared to be and soon Drew stopped and looked around.
“How does this spot look?”
“It’s beautiful,” I said as I took in the tall cliffs and crystal water.
“I thought you’d like it.”
“You’ve been here before?”
“I haven’t done much since getting to California, but one Sunday when I was feeling particularly lonely and missing you,” he said, looking over to me with a smile. “I decided to take a drive and I came across this place and I knew I had to bring you here. I’m sure there’s more exciting places to go, but we’ll have to wait until your next visit.”
He smiled at me as he set the picnic basket in the sand and sat down. I sat across from him, watching as he laid out the spread.
“Please be honest with me, Drew,” I said and his head jerked up and stopped what he was doing.
“What about?”
“L.A. and if when you’ll be coming back for good.”
I saw the way the lines formed on his forehead. That was the look he gave when he was troubled. I didn’t like that look.
“I really don’t know,” he said gently and I nodded, appreciative of his honesty.
“It’s hard being in the city without you. It’s lonely.”
“It’s lonely here too,” he said and I sometimes forgot he was missing me just as badly as I was missing him. “I’m glad you agreed to come out.”
“Me too.”
“And what’d you think of L.A.?”
“It’s okay.”
“Just okay?”
“Yes. Just okay,” I answered and I could see my response had worried him. “Could you live here forever?”
“No. I’m definitely an East Coast guy, but I think it could be fun for a little while,” he said and it was quiet as he finished unloading the contents of the picnic basket.
“This is quite a spread,” I said, perusing the selection of finger sandwiches and side dishes.
“Let’s just hope it tastes good,” he said as we started eating.
Drew’s hope came true because it was good and I ate more than I expected. When we were done, we cleaned up the leftovers and tucked everything back into the basket. We left it on the sand and Drew stood up, holding his hand out to me. I took it and he held it tightly as we started walking along the shore, the waves rolling in to within inches of overtaking our feet.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately,” he said as we continued to walk.
“Anything I can help with?”
“Actually, yes,” he said, stopping so suddenly I hadn’t realized it and I continued walking until I felt my arm jerk back and I turned to see Drew standing firmly in the sand.
“Are you okay?”
“I thought about making some big production of this…of trying to impress everyone, but then I realized this isn’t about anyone else. This is about you and me and that’s all. I wanted a special moment between us. One place that was ours alone that no one else knows about. A memory just for us.”
“What are you talking about, Drew?” I was confused by what he was saying, but he just kept talking.
“There are very few basic principles in life, ideas where there is no argument or question…that something simply is, but when it comes to you, Natalie, it’s quite simple. I love you.”
He reached over, taking my hand in his as he glided down onto one knee, staring up adoringly at me, his face never having looked so peaceful as my heart thundered in my chest. I could feel myself start to tremble and a lump burned in my throat as I realized what he was doing.
“I’m the luckiest man alive to have you in my life. How I got so lucky to have you walk into my office that day, I’ll never know. I knew you were special the moment I laid eyes on you, but I didn’t expect you to change my life, Natalie…to show me what it feels like to finally be loved. I’ve never been so happy and the only thing that could make me happier is if you’d do me the honor of becoming my wife.”
My hand was full on shaking as he held onto it, reaching into his pocket with his other one and pulling out a pale blue box I recognized instantly from Tiffany & Co. He pried open the lid and I gasped when I saw it. It was exquisite and the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’d ever laid eyes on.
“Natalie, will you marry me?”
His voice was strong and he was steady as I was about to turn into a blubbering mess. I couldn’t speak, but I didn’t have to think, so I nodded forcefully and he stabled my hand enough to slide the ring on. It was a perfect fit and I tried staring down at it through my tears, but it was too blurry and when I blinked, the tears streamed down my face. He stood up and I threw my arms around him, holding on tightly because I knew this had to be a dream. Any minute I’d wake up in my bed back in Iowa and realize the last seven months had been nothing but a concoction of my mind. I’d realize Drew Saben didn’t exist and I was still the same simple girl from Cedar Rapids, but when I felt his arms around me, holding me tight, and the feeling didn’t disappear, I accepted that I wasn’t dreaming. He was real and this whole painful, wonderful experience had been real.
~~~
I think I floated the whole way home. Once I’d calmed down, I couldn’t stop staring at my engagement ring. It was perfect. The diamond encrusted platinum band held a large cushion cut diamond that was surrounded by smaller diamonds. I cringed to think how much it had cost him, but he’d wanted me to have it and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to stop looking at it.
When we got back to the hotel, it was nearly dark and I had an early flight to catch, but neither of us wanted the night to end. He made love to me, long and slow, and it felt different this time. We’d made a commitment to spend the rest of our lives together and it was as if he was trying to show that promise as his body moved over mine, possessive almost…as if staking his claim on me.
“I want to feel you forever,” he whispered into my ear as we moved together.
“And you will,” I moaned back, neither of us wanting to think about that fact I’d soon be on the other side of the country.
We couldn’t think about that. We had right now and that was all that mattered. For the next few hours, we would give ourselves wholly to each other and hope that feeling was enough to get us through until the next time we were together. When we were done, we lay in each other’s arms and I don’t think either of us slept because neither of us wanted to miss out on a moment together. He pulled open the curtain and we watched the sunrise together, something we’d never done. I glanced down at my ring once more before looking up and meeting his eyes. He smiled at me and I couldn’t believe that soon I would call this man my husband.
Twenty-Two
When I returned to New York and walked into the apartment it felt different and then I looked down at the ring on my finger and I k
new that was the reason why. This was our home…my home with Drew and he wanted me to be his wife.
I tried to settle back in without being too distracted by my status as an engaged woman. I didn’t go around broadcasting it, but with the size of the ring, it didn’t take long for people to notice. At work, Ava and Kara grabbed my hand, gaping at it and Court’s reaction was truly priceless.
“Holy shit,” he’d said in an over exaggerated slow voice, grabbing my hand when we met up for lunch the weekend after I got back. “I’d heard a rumor that Mr. Andrew Saben was officially off the market, but I didn’t believe it, but sure as shit, you snagged him. Excellent work, Natalie.”
He proceeded to press me for every detail about the proposal, which I gave him and he immediately started on the wedding planning.
My parents had been shocked, but Drew and I told them together via a group video chat. I wondered how they felt considering they’d never even met my fiancé and it was then Drew came up with the idea of having an engagement party to celebrate. My mom loved the idea and it finally gave them an excuse to come to New York.
We decided to have a party at the apartment. Unfortunately, with Drew being gone, much of the preparations fell on me. Drew helped as much as he could by setting up the catering and he even hired a designer to come in to decorate. I had to address and send the invitations myself though and I decided we would hire that job out when it came to the wedding.
The best part of the party though was that Drew would be home and this time it was for a week. He’d be here for the party and then go to the main Taylor and Saben office for the rest of his time in New York.
I tried keeping my mind on work instead of constantly thinking about picking up Drew at the airport at eight o’clock. My stomach was a jumble of excited nerves when it was finally time to go home and I quickly gathered my things and headed out.
The Heart of Tomorrow (Book Two) (The Tomorrow Series 2) Page 15