No words needed. She doesn’t push, and I don’t pull. We both fall into each other as my lips descend onto her full ones. I kiss her slow at first, wanting to savor the moment. Her hands move around me, gripping the back of my shirt and I lose it. I grab her face with both hands, tilting her head up so I can kiss her deeper. My tongue moves with hers as we both get pulled further into this thing between us.
I groan when I feel her push her body to me. Fuck. Hooking my hands around the curve of Reese’s ass, I pick her up and kiss the base of her throat. She moans, arching her body into me and her legs tightening around me.
I take us to my bedroom and kick the door shut. I lay Reese down on my bed and allow my eyes a moment to take her in. Her chest rises and falls quickly, her eyes on mine. I lean over her body and kiss her again, biting her lower lip.
“I want you, but if we do this, there’s no going back. No excuses.” I wait for her to respond. Instead, she reaches for my jeans and undoes the first button. Her hands sneak into the waistband and move around, gripping the top of my ass and pull me onto her. When her lips land on my neck, I lose it.
I growl and thrust into her. “Clothes, off. Now.” I rip her top up and off her body, lowering the cups of her lace bra and getting a taste of her perfect breasts. She’s all moans and cries as my lips suck her nipples into my mouth and my teeth scrape against her skin. I break away when her demanding hands push my sweater up. I finish lifting it over my head, throwing it on the floor.
“I’ve always loved your tattoos,” she confesses, running her hands over the designs.
“Good. You’ll have time to admire them after I fuck you.” My lips crash with hers, and my hand undoes her bra. Reese arches her back so I can remove it completely. I need to feel her skin on mine. I remove her pants and underwear, sliding them down her long legs. Goosebumps break on her skin as my fingers drag down her body.
Once she’s naked, I move up her body, trailing kisses from her torso up to her neck. My hand finds her wet core. She arches into me when my fingers rub against her clit. I tease her, swiping once, twice, getting lost in the sounds she’s making because of me. I move a finger inside of her, and then another, moving in and out of her body as my thumb rubs over her clit. Reese’s nails bite down on my back, scratching me and holding me to her. Her body thrashes underneath me as my name falls from her lips, pleading to find her release.
I push her just to the edge before bringing her back down. “Dex,” she moans, and I never want to hear anyone else call my name out the way she does. “Please,” her pleas come out breathy as I continue to move my hand in and out of her in the perfect rhythm.
When she’s begging me to fuck her, I strip out of my jeans and boxers and grab a condom. I take a moment to stare at her beneath me, my body aligned with hers, and I cherish this moment. I don’t want desperation to erase this memory. Gently, I caress her face and kiss her softly. When I enter her, we both moan.
My muscles tense as I hold my body over hers, just for a second, and close my eyes. I kiss her and start moving, her body lifting to meet my thrusts. Reese runs her nails down my back, more gently this time, and her heels dig into my ass. I speed up my movements, fucking her faster.
The room is filled with our moans and heavy breathing. When I lean my head down and take one of her nipples between my teeth, she arches her back and cries out. Her pussy clenches around my cock, and my entire body feels it.
“God, Reese…” My jaw tightens as I push into her again. “You feel fuckin’ amazing, babe.”
“You do, too.” She comes up to catch my lips, her tongue breaking through the seam of my lips and tangling with mine.
I’ll be damned if I thought I could ever feel anything like this. Reese is perfect, clenching around me when I hit all the right spots inside of her. This woman in unlike anyone else I’ve ever met.
When I feel her walls tightening around me again, I pick up speed like a man on a mission until her orgasm hits her hard. Her entire body tenses as she loses herself in her climax.
A few thrusts more, and I let go with another growl. My breathing is hard and my heart is pounding in my chest. I drop onto the bed next to her, catching my breath before getting up to dispose of the condom. Reese’s chest rises and falls quickly as a lazy smile spreads across her face.
“That was…” she pauses.
“Incredible.” I finish for her as I come back to bed.
I pull her into my chest and kiss the top of her head. Reese doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around my body, her fingers tracing the lines of my tattoos.
Paradise. That’s what this woman adds to my life.
Reese
I stir awake, an arm tight around my body. Dex sleeps peacefully beside me as I become fully awake. Last night was perfect. My heart slams in my chest as I remember it, his mouth and hands, the feel of our bodies moving together. It was everything I’ve ever imagined when it comes to Dex. He was gentle yet assertive, tender and confident at the same time.
I wipe a tear from my cheek and quietly scoot out of his bed. I grab my clothes strewn around the floor and get dressed before taking one last look at him. A sad smile marks my face before I sneak out of his room without waking him up. I find my shoes and purse, checking the time on my phone. I have two hours before I need to be at work. Enough time to shower and shake this mood off.
I was so happy for Dex when he told me his good news last night. He’s wanted this for so long, and he deserves it more than anyone. He deserves it more than I deserve a happy ending. I see the flower he gave me yesterday, half-wilted on the passenger seat in my car and cry. My heart feels the same as the flower—no strength to fight. I wipe the tears from my face, sniffing, and look at myself in the rearview mirror. Puffy eyes and red cheeks are not my best look.
Heartbreak was inevitable, no matter how hard I tried to fight it. This situation with Dex feels like déjà vu, something I fought hard to never experience again. I leave his home behind, knowing he’ll be confused when he wakes up. I wish things were different, but I can’t take his career away from him.
I finally shatter as I park my car in my spot. I close my eyes and let my body move the emotions through me. If I keep them in, they will weigh me down each minute that passes. I should be thinking, Let yourself be happy with him. He obviously adores you, but I’ve been here before. I’ve had a man who adored me. I shake my head. No, no, no. I rub my nose with the back of my hand and snort. Thankfully no one is here to witness this mess.
My eyes are bloodshot by the time I release my final tears, so I run to my apartment as fast as I can and hit the shower before Taylor sees me.
“Someone had a sleepover,” Taylor stands outside of the bathroom when I walk out, wrapped in my towel.
“Shit.” I leap back and hit my hand on the door frame. I shake off the stinging pain as I try to avoid her to no avail.
“Sorry,” she laughs. “Didn’t mean to scare you. So… do I need to ask where you spent the night?” She waggles her eyebrows.
“Not in the mood.” I walk around her, tightening the top of my towel on my way to my room.
“He isn’t Knox.” That halts me.
I turn around, jaw clenched. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I bite out.
“I know you two had a thing.” Taylor crosses her arms and gives me a stern look.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know where you got that from.” I open the door to my bedroom, Taylor following behind me. So much for privacy.
“I saw a picture of the two of you once. I ignored it, figured you’d tell me when the time was right.” She crosses her arms, not backing down from this conversation.
“Drop it,” I warn.
“Reese,” she sighs, letting go of a bit of her resolve.
“I said, enough, Taylor. I need to get ready for work.” I slam the door in her face, drop onto my bed, and cry some more.
My phone has been going off all day. Yup, Dex is calling me like cra
zy, but I’ve avoided him as much as I can. When I finished work, I decide to walk around Downtown. Anything to keep myself busy. I continue to think about him and last night, how amazing it felt and how stupid I am to walk away—but my heart knows better.
I do a double-take at the shop to my right and pause. A tarot card reading, maybe that’s what I need. Someone to read my future and tell me what I should do, make my decisions for me. I’m stuck in this limbo I’ve created—half of me wanting to give in to my feelings and the other half stubborn as a mule. I continue to walk, leaving the crackpot shop behind.
As I walk into the boutique I was heading to, the thought of actually getting a reading pulls me off-track from my shopping goal. What can it hurt? It’s not like I have anything to lose, a few bucks at most. I’m pretty sure I lost my sanity the first time that son-of-a grinned at me with his bright green eyes, looking devastatingly handsome. Stupid, stupid Dex. Now, I’m a ball of nerves and electric energy when I’m around him. He zaps me out of my comfort zone. Everything I’ve convinced myself I didn’t want in my life, he’s making me reconsider. Starting with a relationship, especially one with a musician. I’m happy single, and I have friends and family surrounding me. I don’t need a man.
Oh, but need and want are two different things. And it’s time I admit to myself that I want Dex, in more ways than one. Especially after last night.
I sigh and leave the boutique, heading straight to the small shop that smells of incense and is filled with calming music. Talk about an unconventional approach to decision-making.
I run my fingers through my hair, combing out the knots the breeze has formed as I stalked up and down the sidewalk.
“Hello, I’m Joanne. How can I help you?” A blonde woman greets me, smiling kindly.
“Hi. I’m Reese. I saw your sign outside for tarot card readings, and I was wondering if I can get one done.” I point to the door behind me. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m supposed to make an appointment or call or if walk-ins are allowed, but I figured what the hell?” I gasp for air and mentally slap myself.
Joanne remains quiet, a small grin on her lips. She’s thoughtful as she speaks. “I’ve got some time now. Does that work for you?”
“Great,” my voice is higher pitched than normal. I need a vacation… or a Xanax. I blame sex with Dex for this turmoil. Ugh! Even his name rhymes with sex. “Please,” I squeak.
All I need is for these cards to tell me that the idea of a relationship with Dex is ridiculous, and I can move on. I care too much about him to not have him in my life, but I care more about my heart. After crossing the line, though, I’m not sure if being friends is still on the table. I guess the cards will tell.
Joanne preps me, sitting around a small table with an embroidered cloth covering it in shades of purples, magentas, and oranges. Very middle eastern feel to the entire space with bright cloths hanging overhead and candles burning around us.
As she explains, I’ll ask a question I’m seeking guidance for, an intention, and the cards will reveal what they have to say. Simple, right? I chew on my fingernail, my knee bouncing rapidly, as I sit and wait for her to do whatever it is she does with the cards.
As she turns four cards over, my eyes remain on the first one—a hanged man. Does that mean death? That would be a radical indication as to why I shouldn’t give Dex a chance.
“This card, don’t let it fool you.” Joanne eyes me. “The hanged man represents letting go and breaking patterns so you may be free of the past and move forward in peace. Being the first card that appeared, until you release, you won’t be able to experience the other things the cards share. You must surrender to what worries your mind and be patient. If you do this, everything will become clearer.”
I stare at Joanne as if she has three heads. She continues to speak, but my mind is spinning with all the information she gives me. One thing stands out—past hurts will remain as patterns if you try to control the outcome.
I exhale and scrub my face.
“I see a relationship here. The only way you can be happy in it is by being honest. If something worries you, speak about it.” I continue to stare at her. My mind is swallowed up by all the things she said, all the very real emotions I’m experiencing. Who would’ve thought?
I thank her and pay for my reading. By the time I get home, Dex is sitting in front of my door. He rushes to stand and smile. “Hey.” He runs his hands up and down the front of his thighs.
“Hi.” Tears cloud my vision, and he’s instantly in front of me, pulling me into a hug.
“Let’s get you inside.” He grabs the keys from my hand and opens the door.
“Talk to me, Reese,” he says when we’re on the couch, holding both of my hands.
I shake my head. “I got a tarot card reading.”
“Okay…” His eyebrows come together in confusion.
“She said I had to communicate. Also, I had to let go of the past to move forward in another relationship.” I let go of one of his hands and mess with my hair as I speak.
“Talk to me then. I told you last night there was no going back. The moment I woke up to an empty bed, I knew something was wrong. When you wouldn’t answer my calls, I showed up here.”
“I don’t know if I can do this with you starting your music career.” I take a deep breath, ready to tell him the truth. “You aren’t the first musician I’ve been with.” He sits still, waiting for more. “A few years ago, I was dating another singer. I can’t tell you his name because I signed an NDA that prohibits me from talking about it,” I explain, so he doesn’t think I am holding back.
“We kept our relationship a secret because he was just starting up his career. No one knew, not even Taylor. She told me this morning she saw a picture of us once, so I guess I wasn’t that good at sneaking around. Anyway, his label wanted him to marry someone else for publicity reasons. We loved each other like crazy, but his career came first. He promised me it meant nothing and wanted to keep me in his life.” I shake my head as the memory of that day washes over me, and I’m transported to a naïve twenty-four-year-old.
“He wanted me to be the other woman. Even if I did come first, no one knew that. As far as everyone was concerned, he was always single until he met his now wife. They had a ‘beautiful’ courtship according to the media. Things he and I had shared, he shared with her. All for show, of course.” I roll my eyes. “It broke my heart to witness it. It was always in my face. The perfect couple.”
“Reese,” he cups my cheek. “I’m so sorry you had to live through that.”
“Shit happens.” I force a smile, but tears continue to cloud my vision.
“Nah, that’s wrong. He was an idiot for choosing a bullshit stunt over you.” Dex shakes his head adamantly.
“If the label told you we’ll sign you under these conditions, what would you do? It’s your dream finally coming to fruition.” I don’t know why I defend Knox.
“A label over you? Easy. I’d choose you. There are hundreds of others out there. It’s a pussy move to allow someone to manipulate you to such an extreme, to the point where you rid yourself of happiness. It’s about more than a relationship. I can’t imagine living under conditions that would make me miserable.” He furrows his eyebrows as if trying to comprehend the decision Knox made.
“It’s the reality of the business,” I shrug.
“Not for everyone. Look at your brother and the rest of the guys.”
“You’re a solo artist, you’re easier to manipulate than a band,” I state.
“I promise you, I’d never choose someone else. I’d never let anyone manipulate me to that extreme.” He holds my hand with both of his, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the top of my hand.
“You say that now, but when you start to reach stardom, things change. People change,” I blow out a breath and drop my shoulders.
“I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember, but it’s not worth it if they change who I am.” He’s so sure now, but
I know how quickly a person can change.
“I promise,” he repeats. I want to believe his whisper, so when he pulls me into him, I let him. When he kisses my forehead, I don’t pull away. When he repeats his promise, I allow myself to believe it.
Dex
The only thing I can think about is Reese as I’m on stage at Riot. She’s all I’ve been able to think about for the last few days. Her vulnerability as she told me about her past relationship put everything into perspective. All the excuses she fed me was to cover up her fear, but I meant it when I promised I wouldn’t turn out that way.
When I met with Peyton earlier to sign my contract, I took my time reading through the fine print, making sure nothing required me to sell my soul to the devil. Even though he seems like a cool guy, I made sure to mention I wanted to keep my image and didn’t want to do anything I didn’t feel comfortable with while leaving out the details.
The crowd sings with me to one of the songs I always play as I try to focus on my set. It’s a damn good thing I love my music, and I’m good at it. As I sing the last verse, the crowd cheers and asks for one more. I get the thumbs up from the manager and grant the audience their wish, slowing it down a bit with a love song Hunter and I wrote a while back.
I thank the crowd when I finish and hop off stage, a few people stopping me to compliment me. It wasn’t my best performance, so I’m glad to see they still enjoyed it. Once I start working with Peyton, things will change. He’ll have me performing in bigger locations in preparation for the tour, as well as working on new music. Today he told me he was working on negotiations with Nashville Records. That’d complete this dream with a big, red cherry on top.
“Hey, man,” Hunter lifts his beer bottle toward me.
“What’s up?” I meet him at the bar. “Kenzie didn’t come?”
“Nah, she’s tired and wanted to go to bed early,” he explains.
“You didn’t have to come.” He’s always preferred quiet nights.
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