I shrugged. “I must have forgotten that Misty was the one who got the blue dress, looks like you’ll have to go with her.” I looked over to Misty. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
She smiled so big, her nose wrinkled up. “Ah, I guess.”
Tyler shook a finger at me as he passed.
I leaned in and whispered, “Shouldn’t you have seen this coming with your psychic powers?”
He turned, throwing up his hands. “I can’t control what the fates show me.” Tyler handed Misty one of the flower cases and opened the other. They were so fucking cute, smiling and laughing and putting on each other’s flowers.
Good deed done for the day, yet again, I walked over to Culter and stopped next to him. “Looks like I’ll be going stag.”
He leaned back looking at my back, and then leaned into my ear. “Or we could just not go.”
Wow. To be honest, that sounded like a much better plan to me. As much as I’d kind of hoped that moving in with Culter would be a sex-fest, he hadn’t sped things up between us. Allegedly, he was still savoring our firsts, but there was a certain first that I was particularly looking forward to savoring.
But we’d already told our friends we’d go, and got all dressed up.
He leaned against the wall and showed me a hint of dimple. “I can see you talking yourself out of it in your head.”
“It’s just that we got all dressed up.” God, did he look beautiful in a tux.
“Hey Culter, we’re crashing out here, right?” Spencer called over.
“Yeah,” I said, just as Culter said, “Nope.”
Spencer looked between us. “Which is it?”
“No,” Culter said.
Spencer looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. “Really? You have a huge house with an alcohol stash and no parents.”
“You guys can take the limo and the alcohol wherever and pick up your car tomorrow. You just can’t stay here.”
Jake clapped Spencer on his shoulder. “It’s all good. We’ll go to Spencer’s basement.”
“Like always,” Spencer grumbled.
“Except for me, right? I can stay here?” Tyler called.
“Nope.”
I wanted to elbow Culter, but it would both be too obvious and I didn’t really want any of them here either.
A knock came at the door, and a lady limo driver smiled at us from the stoop. After shrugging on our jackets, we piled in. I ended up squeezed between Culter and Tyler, which I couldn’t complain about at all. As everyone deeper in the limo sipped from a flask, I took both of their hands, threading my fingers through theirs. A pop song blasted through the limo and though the other’s talked over it, I didn’t feel like trying. Instead, I swayed my head back and forth to the music, and Tyler did it with me, shooting a grin at me as he did.
Culter and I’d made a deal—as soon as Tyler could, he was moving in with us, whether it was in Culter’s dad’s house or somewhere else. I was avoiding using my dad’s money, which at this point unfortunately meant that I was living off Culter. But Charlie told me he was going to hook me up with a pretty good job soon with some start-up game developers who just received funding.
My dad and Jen said it was fine to keep using their money during our epic and constant texting battles, but I was trying to show them I deserved to determine the course of my life, and being independent was a big part of that.
“Winter Ball selfie!” Misty said, holding her phone out and leaning in at Tyler’s other side.
We all huddled together, Culter and Tyler’s smiling face right next to mine, and looking at the image of us together, a realization crashed into me: I was happy, and I mean genuinely fucking happy. I was happy and I didn’t feel one iota of guilt about it either. And from somewhere far away, I swear I could hear a crazy, weed-head, artist angel cheering her ass off. “Happy birthday, beautiful,” she’d said to me, her final words. Maybe somehow she’d given me a final gift, too. “Here you go, Cassie, a life, truer love than you could even imagine, amazing friends, and a secret brother who really needs you; happy birthday, beautiful.”
Sniffing back the tears, I wiped under my eyes to make sure my mascara wasn’t running all over my face.
“Here,” Culter said, taking my face in his hands. He wiped under my eye gently with his thumb, catching a tear.
“Maybe you were right about the makeup,” I said.
“You look beautiful, Cassie. Always.”
God, I wanted to kiss him. Hell, why over-think it? Leaning forward, I kissed him gently on the lips.
When I pulled away, both of his dimples were full out and his eyes looked at the same time surprised and delighted.
“Oh my God, I just did that,” I whispered.
He nodded, slightly.
“Are they looking?” I whispered again, not daring to look.
His gaze moved past me, then returned. He nodded again.
“Fuck it,” I whispered, and I kissed him again.
“Woohoo!” Someone called from behind us, I think it was Spencer. “Right there, Emma, it’s already time for kissing! Yes!”
I turned just in time to see that we’d set off some sort of chain kissing reaction, and everyone was getting some kissing in. Laughing, I turned back to Culter, who still grinned.
Leaning in, he whispered in my ear, “Let’s not drink at all tonight.”
“Why not?” I whispered, even though I knew, but I wanted to hear it confirmed. Actually, I wanted it in writing and signed—notarized if possible.
He just said, “You know why.” And, then he kissed my shoulder.
Biting my lip, I looked over at him. Damn, I wished I’d elected to skip the dance.
The school gymnasium looked a lot like the parking lot we just froze through to get in there, but thankfully it was a lot warmer. Giant white balloons hung suspended over us like geometric clouds, as white snowflake shaped lights moved over us.
Music blasted and I danced a little in place, waiting in line with everyone else to take our pictures in front of a giant snowflake. I leaned into Misty, “I voted for you to win Winter Queen, by the way—I have a feeling you’re going to win.”
“What gives you that idea?” She giggled and rolled her eyes.
“I bet you would’ve won even if the other contestants weren’t suspended,” Culter said from beside me. “I know all of us voted for you.” He gestured around to Spencer and Jake.
“And, I voted. I distracted Ms. Vale and slipped it into the voter box,” Tyler said, and from the smug look on his face, I believed that he actually was that crazy and adorable.
A pretty blush grew on Misty’s cheeks.
“Next!” the photographer yelled.
I couldn’t help but swoon as Misty and Tyler posed for the picture. His arms wrapped around her, and a huge smile blossomed on both their beautiful faces.
“Good job,” Culter whispered to me.
I shook my head. “Oh, right, like Tyler didn’t orchestrate that all himself.”
“Next!” The photographer called.
Culter and I glanced at each other and his brows rose, with just the littlest bit of challenge in it. Pretty much the whole senior class was either nearby or waiting behind us. But if I could kiss Culter in front of the people I cared about at this school, what did it matter if random people saw us?
Taking a deep breath, I offered him my hand.
“Wow.” He looked pretty surprised. “When I saw how much you thought about that, I was just assuming you’d say no.” His hand wrapped around mine.
“Next!” the photographer called again, obviously not realizing this photo was a big fucking deal for me.
Culter led me over to stand before the giant, plastic snowflake. Instead of going behind me, he pulled me to him, and squeezed me tight as we both faced the camera.
But as the cameraman lifted his camera and aimed, I turned up to Culter instead. “I love you, Culter Fuller.”
The camera flashed, capturing the bigges
t smile I’d ever seen on that face, and that was saying something.
Epilogue
“You sure we can’t crash here?” Spencer called out of the open limo door.
“I’m sure,” Culter said as he climbed out after me.
When Spencer appealed to me with a look, I only shrugged in a way that said: “You know Culter, nothing I can do.” But, truly, even though I loved that pack of crazies, I wanted them gone.
“Fine. Enjoy your love fest or whatever.”
Tyler peeked his head out the open door, wearing Misty’s ridiculously gaudy crown on his head. “See you guys bright and early for breakfast!” he called, shooting me one last grin.
“No, you won’t.” Culter shook his head, but the door had already closed, and the limo took off, driving further down his road.
My heart raced as Culter and I walked through his open garage door, and sped up even more as it slid closed behind us. His hand wrapped around mine, and I depended on his strength way more than I would ever admit. He led me into his house and to his thermostat, turning up the heat.
Without saying anything, because at least on my part speech had completely deserted me, Culter led me upstairs to his room. Well, I suppose it was our room now. He stopped us right next to the rectangle heater in his floor and his hands went to the buttons of my peacoat.
He grinned. “May I?”
“Yes,” I breathed.
He unbuttoned me slowly, and then helped me pull it off my shoulders. Shrugging off his own jacket, he hung both of our coats over the dresser.
Coming back to me, he wrapped me in his arms, his hands caressing over the bare skin of my lower back. “I think you were trying to kill me tonight in that fucking dress,” he whispered, pulling me against him.
“Should I take that as a compliment?” I asked as I pulled at his dress-shirt, releasing it from his pants.
“I know you’re not wearing a bra in that, and then there’s this back . . . I seriously considered not letting Michael dance with you when his hands went to your tattoo. Spencer had to talk me out of cutting in, said you wouldn’t be very impressed.” His hand ventured up my back. “And then there’s this little string right here, with such a flimsy little bow.” Leaning into my ear, he whispered, “What happens if I pull this string? It’s been killing me.”
“Why don’t you find out?” I whispered back.
Slowly, he did, pulling the string that kept my straps together. My straps slipped down my shoulders and the entire dress slid down my body, leaving me only in my underwear.
“That’s what I thought,” he whispered.
Leaning my head back, I looked up into his bright blue gaze. I slowly unbuttoned up his shirt. “I’m a little nervous,” I admitted in a whisper as I pulled his shirt down his arms.
He undid his tie, pulling it off. “Okay, let’s just take this slow then.” His hand went around my legs and he lifted me up onto him, pressing our bare chests against each others’ while my arms went around his neck.
He laid me down, lying over me, his weight pressing into mine. We kissed slowly, taking frequent breaks to smile up at each other. But then something changed. Our kisses and caresses deepened, and the nerves fled, replaced with something much better. The first time was slow, careful, and yes, the best time in my life, so far. And, afterward, Culter and I lay holding each other, him spooning me.
I turned suddenly to look at him. “Oh no, Culter, we forgot!”
His head came up and brow furrowed. “Forgot what?”
“The playlist, we forgot to listen to the playlist on our first time.”
His brow only furrowed further. “You wanted to listen to the playlist on our first time?”
I squinted at him. “I’m confused. I thought that the playlist was some sort of . . . um . . .”
“Yeah?”
Turning fully toward him, I buried my face against his chest. “Never mind.”
“Cassie,” he said drawing out my name and squeezing my hip with his hand, “Tell me.”
“Fine.” I muttered the words onto his bare chest, “I don’t know, I thought it was like the ‘Making Love . . . something, something,’ playlist. I saw your ‘Fucking in my Truck,’ playlist and the other ones, and thought . . . you know.”
He laughed so hard that I glared up at him. “Cassie, I made those when I was like a freshman. I didn’t even have a truck then. They were hopeful playlists. You really think that I played Let’s Get it On?”
“Shut up,” I whispered onto his skin, feeling heat burning up my face.
He just laughed more. When I glared up at him, he leaned down and kissed me. “It’s the ‘My Loving My Cassie’ playlist,” he said.
“Oh,” I said.
“Uh, huh.” Still smiling, he rolled over and pulled me on top of him. “But we can play it if you want.”
Still feeling a little embarrassed, I smiled down. “I just had it in my head, you know, but it’s okay. I kind of just want you, just you.” Leaning down, I kissed him.
“Good, because that’s all I want,” he whispered on my lips.
And, that’s what we had, for a very long time. When we were done, Culter held me tight, his arm and leg thrown over me. And for the first time in a very long time, I tried to stay awake. I forced my eyes open, wanting to hold onto this night for just a little longer. But I couldn’t stay awake. Sleep found me, just as it had found me every other night since I moved in with Culter.
Held tight in Culter’s arms, I drifted into a deep and content sleep.
Thank you for reading! Want updates, ARCs and audio copies? Check out my website: Rita Stradling Books.
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Acknowledgements
First, I want to send a huge thank you, thank you, thank you to my editor Monique Fischer. You are an incredible editor and person, and I was so blessed to be able to work with you on so many projects this year. Thank you also to the book’s polisher, Kathy! I also want to send a huge thanks to my beta readers Gretel, Anne, Anna and Nina! It is such a gift to have you guys lend me your minds and thoughts, and I am so grateful!
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