by B. M. Hardin
“Come here,” Polo said and reached out to me.
I shook my head.
What was I even thinking inviting him over here?
“Maybe you should just go.”
“No. You need me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Polo limped towards the couch and made himself comfortable.
Propping his leg up, he waited for me to let down my guard.
I sat beside him.
“Do you know where Eddie is with the kids?”
“No.”
“Where would he go? You know him best?”
“Your mother’s,” Polo responded.
Damn.
He really did know Eddie but Eddie had been to Mama’s and gone.
I started to cry.
Polo held me close to him.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“No it’s not and you know it.”
“Run away with me.”
I pulled away from him.
“No Polo. I want my family. I want my kids. And I know Eddie did something foul just like I did, but maybe we can get past this,” I said to him.
“But you love me Sassi.”
Before all of this, I’ll admit, I felt like I was falling in love with him.
We were having sex all the time and sharing more personal, intimate, details with each other.
I hadn’t seen him drunk in forever and he was giving me all of the things that I had been missing in my marriage.
But at the end of the day, he wasn’t Eddie.
He wasn’t my husband or the father of my kids, therefore, he could never be my forever.
“Polo, we messed up big time. And now we both have to make it right.”
“I love Eddie like a brother, I really do. But I love you more Sassi. I don’t want to lose what we have. I don’t want to give this up. Even if that means that I have to give up Eddie.”
Polo was crazy!
“I’ve lost everything behind you, this. No more Polo. No more.”
“I’m not going anywhere Sassi. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t have a choice Polo.”
“See, that’s where you are wrong…I do.”
I stood up and gave Polo the evil eye.
He got my drift and stood up behind me and I followed behind him to the door.
“Eddie will take you back. I will remain his best friend. And once things are back to normal, we will pick things up where we left them off,” Polo said and he waddled out the door and headed to his car.
He had never been the sharpest tool in the shed so I didn’t even deem it necessary to comment to his ignorance.
Polo and I would never have sex again.
Polo and Eddie would probably never be friends again.
My feelings had never been clearer and with my priorities finally back in place and with my heart begging to be put back together again, I had to figure out how to get my husband back, and I knew just how to do it too.
***********************************************
CHAPTER 6
“Why have you been calling me like you are crazy?” Patrice said walking in my house, being that I had the front door open.
I’d called her a thousand times, but I’d never told her what I wanted.
I hadn’t left it on her voicemail or sent a text.
I needed her to hear the words come out of my mouth.
Micki swore to stay out of it and that she wouldn’t tell her anything if she talked to her before I did, and I was sure that from Patrice’s statement, Micki or anyone else for that matter hadn’t given her a heads up of what was going on.
I sat the groceries down that I had been holding.
Eddie and the boys hadn’t stayed at home in over three weeks now, but finally I had seen them.
Eddie had been by plenty of times to get some of their things and he told me that he wasn’t giving them back to me and that I would have to battle him in court for custody if that’s what I wanted to do.
But we had met in public places so that I could see them.
He’d had some crazy papers signed by him and a lawyer saying that I was a threat to their well-being and that I couldn’t take them from the school or the daycare.
But I hadn’t even tried.
To be honest, I was such a mess that it was a good idea that Eddie had them.
I had to figure everything out and maybe that was the best place for them to be; with their father, wherever the hell that was.
But Eddie agreed to bring them to the house for the first time, and I was going to cook them all dinner.
Eddie and I were still in a bad place but I was going to win him back.
I was going to save my marriage.
I’d tried to forget what he’d done with Patrice but with her standing in my face, all I felt was rage.
“Why is this house such a mess? It’s Saturday. Where is everyone?”
She walked closer to me and I glanced at the knife on the counter but decided to go old school and balled up my fists.
Without her expecting it, I threw the first blow.
But Patrice didn’t hesitate to retaliate and we rumbled until we both finally gave up.
The groceries were all over the kitchen floor and both of us were in obvious pain.
“What the hell is wrong with you!”
Patrice was tending to her busted lip, while I sat trying to figure out whether my wrist was broken or not.
“You slept with my husband!”
Her eyes got as big as the bruise on her left cheek.
“Who told you that?”
She’d asked the same thing that Eddie asked as though secrets were meant to stay hidden forever.
Though I was hoping that mine would have stayed under wraps for as long as possible, things never tend to work out that way.
“There wasn’t any point in telling you about us. It was before you and it was just sex.”
“Just sex? And you didn’t think that I needed to know that Patrice? And you had sex while we were married, so don’t give me that before me bull crap!”
“No. The last time that Eddie and I had sex was about six months before you guys got married. We actually met to discuss whether we should tell you or not. Things got a little heated and it just sort of happened. But it never happened again after that. I swear.”
I tried to lunge for her, but she moved from within my reach.
So Eddie hadn’t broken our vows.
Still, he’d broken my heart.
“You were my best friend Patrice.”
“Which is why I didn’t think that you needed to know about Eddie and me. It was the past. You two hit it off. That one time, before you and Eddie got married, should have never even happened. And even before that night, I was already telling you that I just didn’t think that he was a good fit for you but he made you happy and at the end of the day, that was all that mattered. I didn’t want a few booty calls to ruin that for you.”
She sounded sincere, which was different for her.
Patrice was so shady, conceited, and selfish that she rarely said anything that sounded like she had a heart, but at the moment, I could hear in her voice that she thought that not telling me about their relationship in the beginning was the right thing for her to do.
And as far as her sleeping with him while we were engaged, well, that was worth another ass whopping.
“You betrayed me. Our friendship for the past decade has been a lie.”
“Sassi, I never meant to hurt you. The decisions that I made were always to keep from hurting you.”
“So you got pregnant by Eddie and got rid of the baby not to hurt me Patrice? Or because he told you too?”
Patrice looked at me.
“The only person that could have told you that I was pregnant by Eddie is Micki, because she is the only person that I told that lie too. I wasn’t pregnant by Eddie all of those years ago Sassi. I was pregnant by your father.”
What?
/> I looked at her and almost threw up in my mouth.
“What a minute, you said that he molested you Patrice. That’s what you told me and that’s what I told Mama.”
“I lied. I came on to him and he declined me, so I lied. I was too young then I suppose. Why do you think that I didn’t want to press charges? I’d said that it was because of you, but really it was because things hadn’t happened exactly how I’d told you. But a few years ago, right after Eddie and I did whatever that last time, I ran into your Dad at a bar. He was drinking as always. And one thing led to another and we fooled around for a while. I got pregnant by your Daddy Sassi. I told Micki that it was by Eddie since she knew that he and I had sex and because she had been the one to drive me to and from the abortion clinic. She didn’t need to know the truth and she was never supposed to tell a soul so I didn’t expect to have to ever explain this to anyone. I got rid of the baby because of you. Having a baby by your father was just too much, especially considering the lie that I’d told on him in the past.”
That bitch!
Granted I wasn’t my father’s biggest fan before the alleged incident because he was a drunk, but after she’d said that he touched her, I absolutely hated him and I never forgave him.
I didn’t let him come to my wedding or even be around his grandkids for that very reason and all along she’d lied?
Mama hated him, yet stayed with him, but hated him for his ways and what she’d thought that she’d done, yet Patrice had cried wolf?
I could kill her!
“Get the hell out of my house Patrice and I don’t ever want to see you or talk to you again. Ever! Don’t come back here. Don’t call me. Don’t speak when you see me. Just get out of my house and out of my life!”
Patrice looked at me, but she stood up.
I stood up, slowly as she stood there, looking at me.
“Sassi, I never meant to hurt you. I was coming to tell you that I met someone, in Brazil, and that I was moving there. So I will be out of your life for good just like you want. I guess this is goodbye.”
I looked at her.
I was so angry at her that I started to cry.
She had been my friend since we were kids and I loved her so much.
I loved her like my own flesh and blood and I couldn’t believe that she would hurt me this way.
She turned to leave and for some reason I called her name.
She stopped and I stood up and approached her.
I reached out my arms to her and for only a second we hugged.
I wanted to breakdown but I couldn’t.
She had to go.
There was no way that we could rebuild after all of this.
I had to use everything that I had towards getting my marriage back on track and I just didn’t have anything left to give to her.
We pulled away from each other and she headed out of the kitchen.
“Goodbye,” we both said at the same time and I knew that I would never see her again.
And honestly, I didn’t want to.
~***~
I hadn’t heard from Polo and I couldn’t understand why I missed him.
He hadn’t bothered me.
He hadn’t called me.
He hadn’t come by the house to see how things were going between Eddie and I.
It was a good thing that he was staying away.
But still, if I had to be honest with myself, I could honestly say that I missed his presence.
But that wasn’t important.
What was important was getting my husband to love me again.
I’d forgiven him for not telling me about Patrice and whatever it was that they’d done before we were married.
I just wanted him to forgive me and take me back.
Sure, we probably wouldn’t have the perfect marriage but we never have.
And if things went back to normal, eventually, someday I might go back to feeling like he was the wrong husband again, but I didn’t care about that.
I just wanted my family.
Things would never be right.
Things would never be perfect.
But what we had was ten times better than this.
And I had to get it back.
Just out of curiosity, I turned down Polo’s street.
More than likely his cars were probably in the garage, so I wouldn’t know if he was there or not, but I figured that I could still just ride by.
I wasn’t planning to stop or anything.
I was just riding through.
I neared Polo’s house and I had to blink twice at what I saw.
Polo and Eddie were leaned up against Eddie’s car.
They appeared to be talking, or maybe even laughing but I took a quick right before either of them had a chance to notice me.
What?
Were they making up?
When?
How?
Eddie was still giving me such a hard time and yet he was over there cackling with Polo?
How did Polo know that would happen?
How did he know that Eddie would forgive him?
No.
I couldn’t have seen what I thought I saw.
There just had to be some kind of explanation.
I almost became offended, but I had a better idea.
I turned my car around and sped to Polo’s house.
I pulled up to see the Eddie’s car was gone.
Polo was nowhere in sight either.
What the hell is going on here?
I called Eddie but of course he didn’t answer.
I went out on a limb and called Polo too, but he didn’t pick up either.
Parking my car, I went to ring Polo’s doorbell.
And I almost started running once Eddie opened the door.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
“Sorry, but if you were coming for seconds, or seconds times a hundred, Polo isn’t here.”
Eddie’s eyes were filled with disappointment.
“Actually I was coming to see if he had been able to get through to you. He’s gone in your car?”
“If he isn’t here, and you don’t see my car, what do you think? And at the end of the day, Polo was a friend. You were my wife. A big damn difference Sassi. But Polo isn’t here so I guess you shouldn’t be here either. Would you like for me to tell him that you stopped by?”
Eddie was being sarcastic and I could tell that he was upset.
“No. Are you still bringing the kids by later?”
Eddie shrugged and I turned and headed back to the car.
I just keep making things worse.
He and the boys were coming by later, and I didn’t want to piss him off any more than he already was, so it was best for me to just leave.
But I still wanted to know what it was that I’d actually saw.
I wanted to know why he would be willing to forgive Polo and not me?
What kind of mess is that?
Damn, they said that friends were forever, but what about me?
It just didn’t seem fair, but nothing in life was fair these days.
I drove home and I sat there for a long while until Eddie texted me and told me that he was still coming by.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
The kids hugged me and kissed me.
They missed being home with me.
I was sure of it.
They ran off to do whatever it is that they do and I took a seat on the couch.
“I’m cooking. You guys are welcome to stay.”
Eddie sat across from me.
He looked at me long and hard.
I debated internally whether or not I wanted to ask him more about him and Polo making up.
After sitting in complete silence, finally, Eddie pulled out a few papers.
“What’s that?”
He stared at me.
“Divorce papers.”
My heart dropped.
I started to babble but Eddie held up his finger.
“I went to see Polo today to I asked him why. Out of all of the women that he has had, why did he have to have mine too? He told me that you came on to him.”
“What? That’s not true. He came on to me Eddie.”
“I know. Because I know Polo. He’s even slipped and said things out of the way while he was drunk. And I know him. I’m sure he made the first move.”
I wanted to tell Eddie that Polo fakes being drunk and he probably was just saying it to get it off of his chest.
But I left it alone.
“But he also said that it only happened once. He said y’all met up on several occasions, but that the sex only happened once. Is that true Sassi?”
Oh how I wanted to lie and say yes but I couldn’t.
I’d lied to him enough already.
“No Eddie. Polo lied. It happened more than once.”
I guess this is what I deserved.
Hell I guess neither of us really deserved this marriage because neither of us had been honest in the beginning.
I guess a divorce was the best option for us.
But Eddie didn’t reach me the divorce papers.
Instead, he tore them up.
“I know. Polo told me. I just wanted to see if you would lie about it. But you didn’t. Look Sassi, Polo and I will never have the friendship that we once had. And you and I will never have the marriage that we used to have either. But the fact is, I love both of you. That’s my brother. He’s had my back so many times despite what you may think and what you may know about. Yeah I’m pissed off but I really feel like he’s my brother. And you are my wife. Even though I dealt with Patrice before we were married one last time, when I took those vows, I meant them.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’m hurt.”
“I know.”
“I’m saying that I hate you.”
“I know you do Eddie.”
“I’m saying that I choose you.”
I accidentally smiled.
I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or not so I quickly asked a question.
“What do you mean? What about you and Polo?”
“That’s just it. If I work it out with you, or at least try to, Polo has to go. I can’t have both. I’ll never trust the two of you alone or around each other again. We talked about it. We shared some memories and some laughs today. He will always be my brother. Always. But he’s also my enemy too.”