by Rae, Harloe
Zeke takes a swig of his bottle before answering. “You got the soft side of me. No one else did. Being away from you and Garden Grove snuffed that fluffy shit out. I was forced down over and again. How much can a person take without losing the good? The jagged, furious parts survived and conquered. Leaving wasn’t the fantasy I built up in my mind,” he admits with a weak shrug.
“But you escaped the abuse,” I offer, trying to find light in all this.
“Yeah, but lost you in the process. Pretty sure I royally fucked up.”
“I think you made the right choice. Above all, you got away from him.”
Zeke’s frosty glare sears into my soul. “Seriously?”
Frustration prickles my scalp. “What am I supposed to say? When you didn’t come back, I lost all faith in love and commitment?”
“Is that true?” he mumbles.
The liquor warms my belly, spreading lava through me. “Does it matter?”
“Five years is a long time. Shit was bound to go sideways.”
“That was your choice,” I remind uselessly.
“But it was for a reason with decent intentions.”
I lift a questioning brow. “Which are?”
“Then you could move on. Find someone better.” With Zeke’s words, the hole in my chest expands.
“I didn’t want anyone else,” I say softly and avoid his gaze.
“And now?”
I shrug, unwilling to let my secrets flow. “Undecided.”
He pushes harder. “You got a man, Trip?”
A lie tingles at the tip of my tongue, and I bite down on the sensation. I’ve never been dishonest with him and not all things should change. I offer another shrug, giving him a wimpy non-answer.
Of course Zeke can’t let it go. “No? Been waiting for me?”
The truth is a sharp blade cutting fatally deep. The hurt stings my eyes and outrage spills over from his audacity. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Apparently boundaries don’t exist in these moments as he reaches for me. Zeke’s thumb brushes down my cheek. “You’re stunning, Trip. More beautiful than I deserve, or anyone else for that matter. Giving you up is my greatest regret. It pains me to know I might never have you again.”
I bite my wobbling lip and blink quickly, silently cursing him. He hums while his touch settles on my chin, tugging up until our eyes connect.
“My strong girl,” Zeke whispers.
“Who says you don’t deserve me? Isn’t that for me to decide?” I question.
He strokes up my jaw, and I lean into his touch. My skin crackles, begging for more, but Zeke pulls away. A whimper climbs up my throat and I choke on the sound. He looks away, as if this is suddenly too much. Bastard.
“You’ve always been blind when it comes to me,” he starts and I scoff. “It’s true. You have some misguided belief in me that shouldn’t be there. I was saving you from a life of misery, Trip. I was so damn angry, all the fucking time. I didn’t want to subject you to that. You’re everything good and I’m the opposite. I have no fucking idea what you see in me.”
I guzzle the remaining vodka in my glass, delaying my response. I’ve been aware of the scars littering his skin, but now there are shadows reflecting in his eyes. Zeke is wounded inside and out. His past refuses to let him go, keeping him chained to the horrible memories. He hasn’t been able to move on with a better life.
Before he left, I could always drag him back to the surface. I like to believe my presence kept the pain from cutting too deep, but there’s been no one to save him since. Zeke believes this is it for him, that he deserves nothing better. Who will prove otherwise?
He breaks the silence before I can say anything. “Fuck, what was I thinking?” he growls. “I’m such a fucking loser. You don’t want anything to do with me. And I don’t blame you.” His voice is a hollow shell, echoing straight into me. Zeke truly believes he’s unworthy and it breaks my heart all over again.
How can I possibly stay cool and distant? The answer is I don’t. “None of that is true. Who’s been poisoning your mind, Zeke?”
He shifts along the bench seat. “I’ve got that handled on my own.”
“Am I still the antidote?” I mumble under my breath, afraid of the answer but needing to hear it.
There’s a battle brewing inside of him. The two sides are waging a war I only catch glimpses of. I can’t help but worry which one will come out victorious. The storm crashing in his blue depths rages on for another moment before calming. He clasps my hand, lacing our fingers together. I don’t protest.
Zeke shifts closer until he’s practically hovering over my side of the table. “You’re the air I breathe, Trip. Survival isn’t possible without you. Hell, I’m barely existing at this point. You’re the only one who can bring me back to life.”
I flutter my lashes and get lost in his voice. But I need to be honest with him. “I’m not ready to forgive you. There’s still so much I don’t know . . .”
Zeke jumps in as my sentence trails off. “I don’t expect you to, at least not right away. But is there a chance for us? We can go slow. Maybe hang out as just . . . friends?” He stumbles over the final word and his lips form an adorable twist. I almost laugh but manage to trap the bubbling sound. I don’t hide my grin, though.
“You think that’s possible? I’m not sure we’ve ever been just friends. Even in middle school,” I remind him.
“This is a fresh start. We’ll see what happens?”
His question sparks a reminder in my brain. I chew on the inside of my cheek, gathering guts to bring up his status in Garden Grove. “What happens when you’re done with Roosters? You move to the next city?”
Zeke nods. “Yeah, that’s how it works. We’re a traveling crew.”
“Do you go far?”
“Trying to keep me close?”
“Putting words in my mouth,” I say.
“You can admit it. My ego could use a boost.” His lips lift, showing me hints of the Zeke I’m familiar with. Flutters attack my belly, making my smile grow wider.
“Ah, way to put me in a tough spot. How can I refuse without being an asshole?”
He shrugs. “You can’t.”
I sigh as a weight lifts off my chest. Our banter makes things better. I think long and hard before suggesting, “Maybe we can hang out now and then. I mean, while you’re staying in town.”
Zeke’s face lifts at that. “Yeah?”
I laugh at his hopeful expression. “Just a time or two, Zeke. That’s all I’m offering.”
“But we’re heading in the right direction.”
“Didn’t you say we’ll take it slow?”
I realize we’re still holding hands when he squeezes mine.
“Yeah. One step at a time.”
I gulp when a huge chunk of defense crumbles to dust. Pretty sure I’m in the best type of trouble.
FRIENDS
Zeke
I PULL OPEN the door to Boomers with uncertainty rattling in my chest. Delilah invited me to join her and some friends for dinner. Lord only knows what I’m walking into. Addison and Raven will most likely form a firing squad, shooting me with countless questions. I’m not at a point where this situation will be comfortable, but this wasn’t an offer to refuse.
Delilah and I have been on shaky ground since our chat a few days ago. It’s progress nonetheless. I feel unsteady in general since being around her again. She probably thinks I’m certifiable for bouncing between moods so quickly. Pretty sure I’m worse than a hormonal pregnant chick. Here’s hoping the good parts rise above.
I glance around the crowded bar and catch Delilah waving from a high-top along the back wall. It’s no surprise that Raven and Addison are with her, both wearing matching grins that speak of sneaky gossip. I almost laugh until my sight lands on Trey fucking Sollens. My muscles bunch in preparation for a fight, knowing he’s not part of the welcome wagon. I cover the distance to the table with long strides, ready to get this ov
er with.
Taking the empty seat next to Delilah is an easy choice. But that doesn’t make a difference in who kicks off the conversion.
“Well, what the fuck do you know? Krue is around after all,” Trey belts out from across the table.
I’m practically vibrating on the stool while trying to hold back. I curl my hands into fists to stop the shaking. “Not sure the folks in Canada heard. Could you announce it a bit louder?”
“Absolutely,” he booms. “Everyone should get a heads-up.”
“Don’t start, Trey,” Delilah scolds.
He snorts loudly. “I’ve got every right to give him shit. Or maybe I should thank him. I’m not the biggest asshole in Garden Grove anymore.”
Raven elbows him. “Are you sure about that? Because the way you’re acting makes me think otherwise.”
When Trey looks at her, his expression softens. “You love me, Princess.”
“That’s debatable,” she says with pinched lips.
“Need me to prove it?” he asks in a low tone that makes me feel like the rest of us are intruding.
“Not again,” Delilah groans next to me.
I chuckle when she shields her eyes from them. “Are they always like this?”
“It’s bordering on offensive. Pretty sure they’ve christened every establishment in this town.”
“Wow, I’m almost impressed.”
She wrinkles her nose. “Yeah. They’re gross and way too happy.”
I lean over to whisper in her ear, “Are you jealous?”
Before Delilah can respond, Addison pipes up. “How did I suddenly end up as the fifth wheel?” Trey sends her a questioning look, and Addison huffs. “No, I still haven’t heard from him.”
“Who?” I ask.
“I’ll tell you later,” Delilah says from the side of her mouth. “It’s best not to bring him up.”
I nod in false understanding, but drop the subject. I order a beer and onion rings when the server pops up. After she wanders off, I ask, “I could text Ryan. Maybe he could join us?”
Delilah’s eyes sparkle with secrets. “I haven’t seen much of him since Emmy went off to college.”
”Uh, yeah. He mentioned something similar to me,” I say while rubbing my temple.
“When did you see him? He hasn’t come around Dagos as often lately,” Addison muses.
I squint at the industrial ceiling. “The week before last. I should make a bigger effort to see him again. I’m not sure who he’s spending time with.”
Delilah taps her chin. “I bet he’d love to catch up with a certain bubbly blonde.”
“Is she back for the summer?”
“Kind of. She comes and goes, hanging out with her new friends. Living the college life,” she says with a wave.
Addison lifts her brow and gestures between all of us. “We should get the gang together for the reunion.”
“Or something like that,” I respond dryly.
I type out a quick message to Ryan, suggesting we hang out soon. During the slight lull in conversation, I study the bustling space around us. An enormous circular bar takes up the center, highlighting the purpose and drawing attention. There’s an arcade area with pool tables and dart boards. The stage still runs along the right wall but the dance floor shines like new.
“This place has changed,” I point out.
“Yeah,” Delilah replies. “Boomers got a facelift a few years back. You should see their rooftop patio.”
I whistle. “That’s ritzy shit.”
She laughs. “We have a lot of fun up there.”
That’s another reminder of what I’ve been missing. I mess with a stray coaster while lead fills my gut. “Bet it’s great,” I mutter.
She pokes my bicep. “Don’t pout. You’ll see it eventually.”
“With you?”
“Maybe, if you play the right cards.”
“I’ll stack the deck.”
Delilah shifts closer and whispers, “Cheaters never win.” The flames in her green gaze sear into me. My roaring pulse might as well be blasting through the speakers because that’s the only beat I hear.
I swallow audibly. “I’ll only do right by you. I can promise that.”
She crosses her arms. “We’ll see.”
I’ve got a lot to prove, but Delilah makes the effort more than worth it. I can fix my mistakes and be a better man for her. She’s the only motivation I need. We hold one another captive as our eyes lock and hold. Her lids lower halfway, the hooded effect going straight to my dick. All the blood races south, forming a pool of lava and making my jeans uncomfortably tight. I want to yank Delilah into me so she can feel what’s happening. Instead, I rock on my chair and awkwardly adjust positions.
Addison hoots and fans myself. “All right, guys. It’s way too hot in here. Let’s tone it down, yeah? There’s children present.”
I glance around, prepared to call her bluff. But she’s right. I shouldn’t be making these moves on Delilah, especially with an audience. Our trance is officially broken, and we settle back in our seats.
A long swig from my frosty mug cools the fire raging inside me. “We’ve discussed Emmy, but how’re your parents?”
Delilah smiles after taking a drink from her glass. “They’re so good. Both are still teaching at the elementary school. Not sure they’ll ever retire.” She shrugs. “I’ve told them to come work for me. My current baker is lazy and might need to be replaced.”
Raven’s face whips toward us so fast I’m surprised her head is still attached. “What!?” she cries in outrage.
Delilah giggles while pointing at her friend’s shocked expression. “Sometimes I’ve gotta check if she can hear through the Trey fog.”
Raven sticks her tongue out. “You’re a shit.”
“Love you, sista-friend,” she says with an air kiss. She looks at me and adds, “All joking aside, my parents are great. They’re happy to have me sticking around. Maybe Emmy will find a job nearby, but she’s got plans to live in a big city. Guess we’re not all Garden Grove lifers.”
I wince for my buddy’s sake. Looks like he’s got an uphill battle on his hands. “Sometimes it takes breaking out and exploring to realize how great this town is. I’ve had my fair share of adventure, and let me tell you, nowhere else compares.”
Delilah rests her cheek on a closed fist. “I suppose you’d know.”
I hang my head. “Sure do.”
Apparently, Addison is listening. “Where was your favorite spot?” she asks.
Through a scoff, I say, “None of the above. I’ve been a miserable shit since leaving and didn’t enjoy much of anything. My aunt lives in a bad neighborhood outside of Millston. My uncle’s house was uninviting as hell. Things got better when I started with Big Rock, but all the stops blend together after a while.”
Addison’s red hair swishes when she swivels on the stool. “Oh, yeah? Traveling construction sounds . . . entertaining. I bet it’s somewhat fun to move around to new areas. Does the crew always live together?”
“Yup, the owners usually set up the accommodations for us. We’ve got several cabins at The Mossy Den.”
Delilah gapes. “Really? I didn’t know anyone was still paying to stay there overnight.”
“Yeah, you guys should fix those up next. We rented one for prom but ended up sleeping outside. The cabin reeked of mildew,” Addison shares on a shudder.
I exhale roughly. “That’s nothing. I’ve had far worse than that place.”
Addison nods. “Hopping around to different locations sounds nice, though. You never have to stick in one spot too long. And visiting all those cities? Good for the scrapbook,” she giggles.
“Eh, it’s overrated.”
The two girls share a look. Delilah asks, “Then why are you doing it?”
I yank at the collar of my shirt, the temperature seeming to skyrocket. “What else am I going to do? It’s good money, I’ve got a fair boss, and the hours keep me busy. Can’t ask for more
than that.” Except staying here permanently, but it’s far too soon to think like that.
Addison hums. “It doesn’t seem like a forever-career. How long do most guys last?”
“Lewis has been with Devon the longest. He’s lasted seven years so far.”
“And you’ve been at it . . . ?” Her question trails off.
“Only a couple,” I reply with a shrug.
She quirks a brow. “That’s a decent amount of time. You might be ready for a change soon.”
Delilah makes a strangled noise. “Addy, jeez. Pretty sure Zeke doesn’t need you pressuring him to switch jobs.”
I turn to her. “Trying to get rid of me already?” A sexy blush lights up her face and my chest expands with pride. At least I have the ability to fluster her.
She tucks hair behind her ear. “Uh, no. Well, I dunno. Just don’t do anything crazy on my behalf.”
“Relax, Trip. We just started talking again. I’m not ready to make any life-altering decisions based off a few conversations.” Except if she was on board, I totally would.
Delilah nods and looks away. “Okay, that’s good.”
Is it? Doesn’t feel that way, but I let the topic drop. I take a sip of beer, trying to relax, while checking out the room. Everyone is busy talking at their tables, enjoying a night out. There’s no curious looks or questioning glances. It seems no one notices or really cares. My nerves aren’t going haywire sitting in this crowded bar, surrounded by many I used to know. Maybe I can blend in without an issue. Wouldn’t that be nice? I could regain some semblance of normal. It beats being alone all the damn time.
“I’m glad you showed up,” Delilah says.
I shake off the reverie and get back in the moment. “Afraid I wouldn’t?”
“I’m not sure what to expect. We obviously know each other, but there’s new gaps. You’re really different in many ways. I don’t know how to act around you. Maybe that will level out eventually,” she tells me.
“Uh.” I stumble over my thoughts. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” I glance down at the respectable space between us and wish it didn’t exist. Should I leave?
She vehemently shakes her head. “No, not at all. That’s not it.” Delilah studies me quietly, the seconds ticking by like a countdown to detonation. “It’s more about getting used to being around you again.”