by Sam Mariano
He cracks a smile, taking the letters I dole out and setting them up on his tray. “I’m not. Adrian doesn’t usually do stuff like this—I mean, he did with you and Mia, but that’s because Mateo was invested in whatever games and investigation he wanted Adrian to carry out for him. Guarding the door is easy. A monkey could do it. Adrian was overqualified.”
“And yet, Adrian was sent to take me to get Chinese food and dresses?” I ask, quirking an eyebrow.
“He knew Adrian would keep you safe,” Vince says simply. “You may not have realized yet, it’s a pretty big secret, but Mateo? He’s a paranoid guy.”
“I would be paranoid, too, if people came to kill me left and right,” I state, taking the first turn and dominating with ‘zebra.’ “I hope you like to lose,” I tell Vince, throwing my hands up in victory.
“Yeah, well, it’s not exactly good for relationships, the way he treats people.”
I offer a nod, but don’t comment. I know he’s right, I just happen to think Mateo’s worth a little extra work.
“Not that I have to tell you that,” he adds, staring at his letters. “You’re in a gilded cage for an affair you didn’t even have. And this probably isn’t even the last time you’ll have to deal with this shit. He thinks the worst of people.”
“I just don’t like seeing him suffer,” I say, watching Vince put down the tiles. “It also makes me nervous because this phone? I haven’t read the texts myself, but it doesn’t sound like it could be an accident. It had to have been deliberate, and why? What could anyone gain by framing me this way? Who does this benefit?”
“Castellanos,” Vince says, without hesitation. “It benefits Castellanos. Mateo wanted to kill him, now all he can think about is some other guy fucking you. He’s shut himself off from the world the past few days; he doesn’t come out of his surveillance room, trying to find footage of you with this goddamn phone. Man’s obsessed.”
Frowning, I remark, “That sounds healthy.”
Vince shrugs. “That’s Mateo.”
“This is probably the worst time for that, too. With Adrian leaving? Mateo said transitions are never smooth, even if you’re on top of your game. Clearly he’s not on top of his right now.”
“Well, outside of this house no one should know what he’s doing. He could be plotting, making plans. No one really knows he’s just obsessively looking for proof of some affair, but… it is working out that way.”
I shake my head, sighing. “He needs to stop looking. He’s wasting his time. He’s not gonna find anything. I wish he’d just let it go.”
Vince shrugs one shoulder. “It’s not so easy to purge your brain of images of some other asshole fucking your girlfriend.”
It’s my turn again, so I place down a new word. “I guess. I’ve never been cheated on.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” he says, immediately adding his ‘s’ to my word and smirking at me across the board.
“Bastard,” I accuse, jotting down his triple word score and grabbing us both replacement letters. “So, are you and Mia going to the same college?”
Vince shakes his head. “I’m not going, just her.”
“Not for you?”
“There’s just no point. The skill set I need to be successful isn’t taught in a classroom.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” I say, offering a faint smile. “Did Mateo go to college?”
“Nope.”
“Really?” I hear how surprised I sound, but I shrug. “He’s so smart, I just figured he did.”
“Street smarts, self-taught. He’s never had a lot of friends. He reads.”
“He reads?” I ask, delighted. “Oh, my god, I love that. Only thing Rodney ever cracked open was a magazine.”
“Adrian got him into it. Adrian was an even stranger kid than Mateo, from what I understand. Always kept to himself, hidden away in the library like a weirdo. Though, I guess if I had his shit to deal with, I probably would, too. He’s really smart. He knows, like, random shit that no one knows because he just read so many books. He used to tutor Cherie before Mateo sent her to public school.”
I’m surprised to hear him refer to them as kids together. “Adrian? How long has he worked for Mateo?”
“Just five years. He used to live here, though, when he was a kid. Grew up here. He hated living with Matt, so that probably helped motivate him to hide away, I guess. Be glad you never played Scrabble with him. Adrian’s never lost a game in his life, not even to Mateo.”
“So I shouldn’t challenge Mateo to Scrabble?”
Smirking, he tosses my own words back at me. “Not unless you like to lose.”
---
I give up waiting for Mateo and read the girls a bedtime story so I can put them in bed. Technically breaking the boundaries of my prison sentence, but the girls are just down the hall, and Vince follows me to make sure I’m not up to any of my crazy trickery.
Vince stays on guard until Mateo finally comes in. I’m already in bed by that point, but I roll over to watch him enter the room. He thanks Vince, closing the door, and without turning the light on, he begins to undress for bed.
He looks so tired. Not just from lack of sleep, but weary down to his bones, worn out and weighed down. I hate it.
“Roll over,” I tell him, when he climbs into bed.
He eyes me uncertainly, but rolls over on his stomach anyway. I climb over him, straddling his lower back, and give him a nice, slow back massage. I’d like to talk about his day, ask what’s bothering him, but I already know.
Instead I say, “We should start back with Sunday dinners this weekend.”
He murmurs something that might be assent.
“I played Scrabble with Vince tonight. I totally beat him. He told me I shouldn’t challenge you, because you’d definitely beat me. How could you not tell me you’re a Scrabble champ?”
“I’m sure there’s plenty I haven’t told you,” he answers.
“Well, you’re going to have to play Scrabble with me soon. If you beat me as soundly as Vince seems to think you will, it’s probably gonna turn me on.”
He snorts, turning to glance at me over his shoulder. “You’re such a weirdo.”
“You love it,” I state, rubbing out a particularly tense muscle.
“Why are you being nice to me?” he mutters.
“I’m always nice to you,” I remind him, leaning down to drop a few kisses along his shoulder.
“You know those punching bag balloon things with weighted bottoms, every time you hit it, it bounces right back up with a big smile on its stupid face?”
“Sort of? You’re older than I am. I’ve vaguely heard of these.”
“Well, you’re one of those in human form.”
“Then I’m perfect for you,” I state. “You like to mentally punch things and see how many it takes to keep them down. I like to pop back up and tell you how sexy your face is. We’ll keep each other balanced out for ages.”
Sighing, he reaches around to topple me and rolls to his side, pulling me close. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I tell him, running my fingers through his hair.
“I’m still really pissed,” he tells me.
“That’s okay. I understand.”
“I can’t figure it out. I hate not being able to figure things out.”
“It does sound incredibly frustrating,” I agree.
“What am I not seeing?”
I curl up in his arms, enjoying his gentleness. I wasn’t sure I’d get this back so soon, but I wanted to try. Maybe since I can’t solve the puzzle of how this happened, I can just trick him into moving past it.
His hands absently roam my body, not seeking out sexuality, just wanting to touch me. I feel the same way, except instead of just touching him, I want to kiss him. I don’t want to get him going though, because I’m not sure I could enjoy sex right now, given my poor vagina’s had to take one for the team a couple times.
I give him a kiss,
because I really want to, but I don’t linger. I stay close, but I tuck my head under his chin to cuddle him instead.
“Why would he approach you at the Chinese restaurant?”
My shoulders literally drop with disappointment that we have to talk about this again. “I don’t know, Mateo.”
“If he didn’t know you, I mean. If someone somehow set you up with that phone. He would’ve had to be working together with someone in my house, he would have had to know Adrian would spot him, because there’s no plan otherwise. Adrian doesn’t see you, it didn’t really happen. How did he know Adrian would go to the bathroom? And how did he know where you were? He just happens to see you in the restaurant by yourself after planting this cell phone in my house? There’s no way. That’s too coincidental.”
“I wish I knew. Trust me, I would Nancy Drew my ass off if it meant putting your mind at ease, but maybe you’re focusing on the wrong thing.” I pause, not wanting to go on, but I might as well, now that I’ve started. “You’re so caught up in trying to figure this out. Maybe you should just get back to your normal life and it will sort itself out. I don’t know what their motive was, I don’t know why whoever did this did this to us, but I do know they’ve distracted you. Your top guy just left, you need to be focused on making sure business is going smoothly and nothing goes amiss. Stop thinking about the phone. The text messages never happened. I never sexted the guy from the Chinese restaurant. You’re being tormented by something that literally never happened, by the idea of betrayal from a woman who would never betray you. I can’t seem to hammer this home, but I’m going to keep trying because I need you on top of your game right now. I need you safe. I need to know you’re not so distracted by this shit that you’re going to get yourself killed. Where is Salvatore Castellanos now? Do you know? Do you have eyes on that family? How do you find out information? Don’t answer any of this, for the sake of my sanity—wouldn’t want you to think I’m trying to share your methods with him—but maybe if you don’t know these things, you should stop trying to catch me doing something I never did and focus on that instead.”
He’s quiet for a while. I don’t know if he’s processing or stewing or what he’s doing over here, but finally he sighs, staring at the pillow beneath my head. “I’m so tired.”
I don’t think he means tired the usual way, like he just needs sleep.
“I’m too young to be this drained,” he says.
“You’re not drained,” I tell him, my hand moving to his face, caressing it. “This is… your system is just overloaded right now. Normally you carry the entire weight of this family on your shoulders like it’s nothing. This has just thrown you, that’s all. It’s perfectly understandable.”
“I’m not supposed to be thrown though. This isn’t supposed to… not me.”
“You’re human,” I remind him. “Humans feel pain, they get bogged down. You think someone you care about very much did something horrible to you. I didn’t cheat on you, but you believe I did, so the reality doesn’t matter. You still feel it, whether it happened or not. That’s why this is so goddamn hard. I almost wish I had, then I could just be sorry and beg forgiveness and try to make it up to you.” I pause, shaking my head and glancing up at him. “This is so much worse. I apologize and you think I’m admitting to something. I don’t, you think I’m a monster, or you try harder to find evidence one way or the other. This is a cruel limbo we’re stuck in. Whoever did this to you is a monster.”
He sinks back into the bed, sighing heavily. “It’s so hard not to believe you, and equally as hard to believe you. I’ve seen proof with my own eyes.”
“And that’s why it’s tearing you apart. Can’t you just forgive me?”
Glancing my way, he says, “For that thing you didn’t do?”
“In fairness, I think I’ve forgiven you for things you did do. I think a lot of people have. Maybe it’s your turn.”
“I don’t believe in karma, but this whole situation is making a pretty solid case for its existence.”
“Well, there you go. Maybe put some good out there to negate all the bad.”
Glancing over at me, he says, “We’re not supposed to be doing this. I’m supposed to be making your life hell.”
“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”
Mateo rolls his eyes. “Okay, Confucius.”
I shrug. “You can hurt me if it makes you feel better. I can take it. You won’t keep me down. But does it make you feel better? If it doesn’t, let’s try something else.”
He turns over on his side, watching me. “I’m supposed to be the logical one.”
I shrug. “You got hit by feelings. It happens to the best of us. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the mob boss who stole my freedom with a few cans of water, but shit happens.”
Shock registers across his handsome features. “How…?”
“Adrian. Don’t tell him I told you. He didn’t want me to hold it against you. Had this crazy idea you liked me. It was good he told me,” I assure him. “I would’ve held that against you.”
“That bastard,” he mutters, but almost good-naturedly. “How long have you known?”
“Literally the whole time. He told me when we went to my house to get my stuff.”
“Shit.”
I smile, curling close to him and wrapping my arm around him.
“That was pretty good though, you’ve gotta admit,” he tells me.
“It was extremely cruel and manipulative,” I counter.
“That’s sort of my thing,” he says, without apology.
“Well, it all worked out. I’m not sorry it happened. I don’t know what would’ve happened otherwise.”
Sighing, he says, “I wish you would’ve told me Castellanos sent you to begin with.”
“I know. I didn’t want all this to happen. Maybe it was inevitable.”
“Maybe I’ll make a big charitable donation. That’s good karma, right?”
“I don’t think it’s such good karma if that’s the whole reason you’re doing it, but you’re on the right track. Maybe fewer mind games and less manipulation would go a longer way than writing a check.”
“That sounds hard,” he states. “I don’t think I’m gonna do that.”
I chuckle, tilting my head up to kiss his jaw. “I love you.”
Giving me a little squeeze, he says, “I love you, too.”
I don’t expect him to respond, and hearing those words from his mouth sends my heart right down to my big toe. “You didn’t have to say it back; I just wanted to express how I felt.”
“I know. So did I.”
I grin, capturing his lips and plastering my body against his. It’s hard to abide this self-imposed no sex thing tonight, but I force myself to settle for making out with him and then curling up for a cuddle. He needs to get some sleep anyway.
“We’re gonna be okay,” I tell him.
I don’t think he’s quite convinced, but at least he doesn’t disagree.
Chapter Twenty One
I spend two more days playing board games with Vince. I’ve determined he’s not a bad guy—but he is shit at board games. At least he’s not a sore loser.
“You should bring Mia tomorrow,” I tell him, clearing up the Monopoly board after soundly trouncing him.
“Nah, I’m keeping her away while Mateo’s mad at you,” he says, pulling out his phone to check it. “Cherie’s bringing Jenga. I’m gonna beat you at Jenga.”
“Well, we’re having Sunday dinner again this week, so she’ll have to come to that anyway. And you don’t have to keep her away—he’s still mad at me, but not like before. He’s not going to…” I pause, unsure how to word this, since Mia specifically told me not to talk to Vince about her time with Mateo. “He won’t drag her into this,” I summarize.
“Sure he would.”
“Maybe he would’ve at one time, but he won’t now. He loves me. Whatever we have to do to work this out, he’s going to kee
p it between us.”
Vince sighs, watching me drop the box back on the game and set it aside. “Look, Meg. You seem nice. A little nuts, but nice. You’re stuck with him now, and I get that. But don’t lie to yourself about who he is; you’ll only end up disappointed. Mateo isn’t a good guy. He’s not a loyal guy. He killed the last woman who cheated on him—it’s a shitty thing to do, yeah, but he killed her for it—when he has no problem doing the same thing to someone else.”
“She tried to turn him over to the police, Vince. She betrayed him in every way she could. Look, I’m not a woman-hating woman; I’m not excited that he killed Beth. I wish she were alive on a beach in South America somewhere, living it up. I’m not saying it’s okay—he is responsible for the deaths of both our former partners. I’m sure there’s a lot more blood on his hands than I’d ever like to consider. I don’t know why I can live with that. I can’t explain it. But… honestly, I almost never see that side of him. He’s not like that with me. And I don’t know the whole history with you guys, and I don’t think I want to, but… it’s just that: history. I’m here now. He wants me; he doesn’t want to lose me. Maybe I can’t leave physically, but he can’t force me to love him. He knows if he brought Mia into this, he would lose me.”
Vince shrugs, but he still doesn’t look confident. “I hope you’re right. Regardless, I’m not bringing Mia here until I have to.”
“You all need to learn how to trust people,” I tell him, shaking my head as I get up to move Monopoly to the chair. “At least the people in this house—we’re all family here.”
“Tell that to whoever planted a phone that could’ve got you killed,” Vince returns.
I grimace, glancing back at him. “Wow, that’s a good point. Maybe I should be less trusting.”
Vince smiles, shaking his head, and heads out to the hallway to wait for Cherie.
---
Mateo comes to the bedroom in time for bedtime stories tonight. Ju brings the girls in and we all snuggle up in his giant bed. I fall a little more in love with him with every syllable that falls from his beautiful lips.