by KD Jones
'Shh…it’s okay. You’re safe,' LarIS crooned to her, picking her up into his arms and carrying her back over to the grassy spot.
‘I am so sorry. I panicked as soon as you were on top. I am a complete mess.’ Lola covered her face with her hands.
LarIS gently removed her hands and wiped her tears with his big rough warm hands. 'You are not a mess. You are an amazing female who has survived captivity and torture. I shouldn't have pressed you so soon.'
'I wanted that. I wanted you. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give you what you need.' Lola’s dark eyes looked at him with sadness.
'I want you too, more than anything else in this world or the next. We are in no hurry. We will take our time.'
Lola pouted. 'I don’t want to wait. I ache for you.'
Her confession lifted some of the heaviness he felt around his heart. 'I ache for you, sweetness. We will work this out in time.'
'Okay. I’ll do whatever it takes. Because…I want this—I want you.
Chapter Nine
Commander TylOR looked at the communication screen. Prime Commander KydEL stood there glaring back at him. They both had a staring contest.
“We need to investigate the report,” TylOR insisted.
“We sent several ships out but they found nothing so far,” Kyd told him.
“They are there, I can feel it. We need to be more proactive.”
“Yes, my mate, Jaxon, calls it offensive. She says we need to seek them out instead of waiting around for them to attack again.”
TylOR nodded his head. He didn’t like the Katieran Commander. It may have something to do with them wanting the same female at one time. But the other male was a good commander. “I’ll speak with Prime Leader KadEN and also with Leader LarIS.”
“Set up a conference call when the Leader returns.”
“I will.” TylOR ended communications. The idea the Morins were circling around one of the three nations preparing to strike again made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t want to have to wait around. The three leaders needed to make a decision.
*****
The rest of the time with the villagers went by fast. Lola refused to respond to LarIS’s attempts to speak with her mind-to-mind. He watched as she threw herself into helping the disabled villagers. He tried to apologize but she still said nothing to him. He prayed to the Goddess KatieRI that he had not messed things up with her. He should have been more careful. He hadn’t even bothered to link with her to see if she was okay. If he had…things might have been different. Kitana!
The shuttle ride back to the Colonial city was also quiet and awkward. He knew that Lizzie tried to speak with Lola using the silent language, but he didn’t try to observe their conversation. With his best efforts he remained sitting forward in the co-pilot’s seat. But he longed to know what they talked about.
“Are you okay? You’ve been distant and distracted since after lunch,” Lizzie asked Lola.
“I can’t talk about it right now.” Lola glanced quickly at LarIS to see if he was looking her way. He didn’t. She felt disappointed. She may have messed things up with them for good. A tear threatened to fall. She closed her eyes hoping to hold back the sobbing that she so wanted to let go.
Lizzie touched her shoulder gently. She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at her friend’s concerned face.
“I am here for you always.”
“Thanks, Lizzie. I am not ready to talk about it yet.”
“Should we make an appointment with Dr. Garrett first thing when we get back?”
She paused for a minute. “Yes.”
Lizzie nodded her hand and turned to look at the viewing screen. Lola closed her eyes again and laid her head back against the seat. She just wanted to forget everything for a while. Just a little while.
*****
The next day LarIS walked into his meeting room. Commander TylOR and AshOR were waiting for him. “Good morning,” he greeted them.
TylOR nodded his greeting, “Morning, sir.”
LarIS sat down at the table. “Thank you for meeting with me so early.”
“Is this about the Morins?” AshOR asked. His normal relaxed expression turned serious.
“Partly. We will discuss the Morins in a few minutes. The first part of this meeting is about you, AshOR?”
“Me?” he questioned in surprise.
“Yes. I spoke with the Colonial High Council. It is agreed that if Commander TylOR thinks you are ready, then you can be released from the punishment and may return to the Colony again.”
His eyes lit up. “Will I get my old position back?”
“No. The council feels that you should not be a co-leader again because you took advantage of your position and endangered a breeding female.”
“I understand.” Some of AshOR’s excitement died.
“So, I recommended that you become a commander instead.”
AshOR looked up at him. “I accept.”
LarIS raised his hand. “But this is only if Commander TylOR feels that you are ready to be released from his command.” Both males turned their head to look at TylOR.
TylOR looked at his younger brother. The male had irritated him from day one. But he was a fine warrior and would make a great commander one day. But is this the day?
“He is ready,” TylOR said.
“Commander AshOR, welcome back to the Colony.”
“Thank you, Leader LarIS.” AshOR paused before he spoke again, “Thank you, Commander TylOR.” That sure hurt to say.
“Now that that is settled, let’s talk about the Morins.”
*****
Dr. Garrett looked between the two women before her. They had requested an immediate session with her as soon as they came back from visiting the mountain villagers. But then they have said nothing for almost ten minutes.
“Did you want us to postpone this for a later date?” Dr. Garrett signed. She was getting better with it. Soon Lizzie would not be needed to interpret for them.
Lizzie was the one that spoke first, “Lola has been acting very reserved ever since the village.”
“Did something happen there that upset you?” Dr. Garrett asked.
Lola looked down at her hands as she signed her response, “We kissed.”
Lizzie looked at her in shock. “You and Leader LarIS?”
Lola nodded.
“Was that unpleasant for you?” Dr. Garrett asked, motioning gently for Lizzie to remain quiet.
“No, I liked the kissing quite a bit. He’s a really great kisser.”
“Was there more than kissing?”
Lola nodded her head. Then she signed, “That’s when the problems started.”
“Describe what happened from the moment you first kissed to the moment when things went bad.”
“We started kissing. Everything was fantastic. I didn’t want it to stop. I wanted to feel him touching me but he wouldn’t initiate it. So I took his hand and put it on me. That intensified things a great deal. We were both lost in kissing and touching.”
“So when did it go wrong?” Dr. Garrett prompted her.
“When he moved to get on top of me. His weight and him moving my legs apart…I started to remember things the Morins had done. It was like I was living the past and present at the same time. I couldn’t breathe. I started to panic and kicked and hit him, screaming at him.” She looked out the window completely embarrassed that she reacted that way.
Dr. Garrett had to wait patiently for Lola to finally turn back and look at her. “It is understandable to be fearful after you experienced the torture that you did. Maybe you are being too hard on yourself.”
“I wanted him. I still want him. But I don’t know if I can be with him that way.”
“Perhaps we can invite him to a couple’s session, to help work on your intimacy issues.”
“He probably wants nothing to do with me.”
“That’s bull poopy right there,” Lizzie finally spoke.
; Both women turned to her and laughed. Lizzie had a special way with words. She was a linguist but her southern roots showed through.
“Could you elaborate on the bull poopy?” Dr. Garrett asked, straining to keep a straight face.
Lizzie spoke directly to Lola. “That man is in love with you. There isn’t another woman on this planet or the next he’d look at like he does you. Ya’ll just need to work this out is all.”
Dr. Garrett cleared her throat. “Would you feel more comfortable if I asked him to come for you?”
Lola shook her head. “I’ll ask him.”
“Very well. Let me know if tomorrow morning after the Morning Meal is a good time for both of you.”
Lola and Lizzie left heading back to their suite. Lola stopped Lizzie in the hallway.
“Do you really think he’ll come to therapy with me? I didn’t leave on good terms with him yesterday.”
“Yeah, he will. Just give him a chance, ‘kay.”
“Okay.”
*****
“What do you propose?” Commander TylOR asked.
“We need to have transports and warships from all three nations join forces and actively seek out the Morins. Let us hunt them,” LarIS told him. Maybe he was bitter over what the Morins did to his people, and maybe even more so over what they did to Lola.
“I cannot speak for Prime Leader RendEL or KydEL.”
“We will have to meet with them. Is Prime Leader KadEN planning to attend the mating ceremony on Katiera?”
“Yes, despite protests by several council members. He insists he wants to show there are no bad feelings that AriELa and he didn't mate,” TylOR explained with frustration. He would prefer that KadEN remained safely on Kiljorn. But you cannot explain that to the stubborn male.
“Then it looks like I will be attending as well,” LarIS said.
“What? You cannot do that!” AshOR protested.
“I have to get our nations united in this effort. Otherwise, we are all sitting ducks. AshOR, I need you to double security around the perimeter of the Colonial Planet.”
AshOR was not happy but he knew his duty. “Yes, Leader, I will do that immediately.”
“This meeting is adjourned then.”
*****
Lola was nervous as hell as she slowly approached LarIS in the hallway. He must have had a meeting with the other men. They looked her way and nodded. Then they moved away. LarIS turned toward her and she felt the world shift beneath her feet. He made her feel lightheaded.
“Lola? Are you okay?” he asked, using the silent language.
“I am fine,” she signed back. “Could I speak with you privately?”
“Of course, let’s step outside in the garden.” He led her to the beautiful garden with the strange colored flowers. She came here often to read or write. The sweet scents always calmed her. He took her to a stone bench and motioned for her to sit. Then he sat down next to her but had some distance between them. She didn’t want that, the distance.
“Is there something you needed?” he asked signing.
You…I need you. She was careful not to broadcast that to him. “I…was wondering if you would come with me tomorrow morning to speak with Dr. Garrett.”
He looked at her with concern. “Are you okay?”
She looked down at the space between them. How did you bridge a gap like this? Signing it was too—impersonal. She chose to speak through their link.
'I told her how I panicked…at the village with you. I have intimacy issues and she thought if you were there, we could work on them together.' She waited for him to respond. But he simply stared at her.
'You want me to come to talk about what happened?' He wasn’t sure what this would be about but he would do whatever it took to help her.
'Yes and…more. But you don’t have to come if you do not—' She never finished talking because LarIS placed a finger over her lips though they were not moving. But it effectively stopped her from talking in his head.
'I would be honored to go to this therapy with you. There is not much I would not do for you, Lola.'
'LarIS,' she whispered his name in his mind with such longing. She reached out a hand and gently touched his cheek with trembling fingers. The gap separating them seemed a little smaller.
*****
“Lieutenant, why has the security around the Colonial Planet doubled?” the Morin Leader asked.
“Sir, all the security as doubled. Around Kiljor and Katiera as well. It seems as if they are preparing for something.”
“I want to know what that is. Monitor their transmissions more closely.”
“We will try but their transmissions are masked or blocked from us.”
“I want the answers.”
Chapter Ten
Lola looked down at her lap nervously. This was her first session with LarIS there with her. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. Dr. Garrett asked that Lizzie not come to this session since she was becoming fluent in sign and that LarIS could translate if necessary. Lola had gotten used to having her friend there.
What must LarIS think of her? Probably that she was too much trouble. What man wants to start a relationship with a visit to counseling?
She was startled when she felt a touch on her shoulder. She glanced up at LarIS. He touched her cheek then and gave her a reassuring smile. 'It will be fine,' he told her with their mental link.
“Are you speaking telepathically?” Dr. Garrett asked. She had heard the Leader could do that, but she was not sure that it was real. It didn’t seem possible to her.
“Yes,” LarIS answered.
“Can you do that with anyone or is it special for you and Miss Marquesa?”
LarIS signed as he spoke because he was worried that Lola would be upset if she didn’t understand their conversation, “I can connect with anyone. But the connection with Lola is special. She has such a strong mental ability that she can contact me with her realizing it.”
Dr. Garrett signed and spoke again, “It sounds like an intimate way to communicate.” She looked directly at Lola.
Lola signed, “It takes getting used to hearing someone else’s voice in my head. As far as intimate, I don’t know what other people feel when LarIS speaks to them in their minds but it is…” She looked over at him and he was watching her very intently.
“It is what, Lola?” Dr. Garrett asked, getting her attention.
“It’s like he is speaking right against my ear and I can feel the tremble of his voice and the warmth of his breath.”
Dr. Garrett paused for a moment, “Is it that way with other people, Leader LarIS?”
He chose to show Dr. Garrett so she would finally drop this topic. 'Does it feel that way to you, Doctor?'
She looked at him in shock and awe. “Wow.”
“Well? Does it feel intimate to you?” LarIS signed.
“It felt like a little buzz with your voice mixed in. More annoying I think.”
LarIS smiled. That was what other people felt when he communicated telepathically—annoyed. The females he had relationships with before couldn't tolerate it. But not Lola. She felt his breath against her? He wanted to do that for real, not just with his voice in her head.
“Are you okay with this type of intimacy, Lola?” Dr. Garrett asked signing.
Lola nodded.
“It’s the physical intimacy that is problematic for you?”
Lola blushed keeping her eyes off LarIS. She nodded again.
“Leader LarIS, obviously you are okay with the intimacy of the telepathic link you have, but what about the physical intimacy?”
Lola had never gave a second thought to LarIS feeling awkward. She looked up at him biting her bottom lip with worry.
“I very much appreciate and enjoy every touch, caress, and the rare kiss. All of that only makes me want more with Lola.”
When he looked at her their eyes locked. All he wanted to do at that moment was to take her somewhere private and work out their issues h
is way. Kitana, she had the most beautiful eyes. Her lips were puffy from nibbling on them. He wanted to nibble on them himself.
Dr. Garrett cleared her throat. “What about you, Lola? How do you feel about the physical contact?”
“It starts out good, really good. But I worry that it will get bad like what happened at the village.”
“You shared previously the events leading up to when things turned bad at the village. Could you repeat some of it for Leader LarIS to get him caught up.”
Lola took a deep breath. “
“We were the lovely mountain side valley and we started kissing. There was touching and I was okay with everything. However, as soon as LarIS moved to get on top of me…I panicked.”
“You had said you had a flashback?”
She didn’t want to talk about this part. It was humiliating. But this was the reason she had to have therapy to begin with. “I felt like I was living in two different times, I was physically with LarIS but in my mind I was back on the Morin ship being held down and assaulted. I freaked out.” She looked over at LarIS and saw the frown on his face. “I am sorry.”
He shook his head and signed, “You have nothing to apologize for. I should have been more careful with you. I never intended to scare you.”
She reached out to grasp his hand. But she couldn’t sign if she was holding him. 'You didn’t. It was my fault.'
'No, the blame is on the Morins. I could kill them all for what they did to you.'
She could tell that he meant it too. He would kill every last Morin to avenge her. She should reprimand him for it, but she couldn’t make herself say the words. It made her feel…protected. She liked that.
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but let’s try to keep things said here transparent to everyone,” Dr. Garrett said gently. She observed how each of them tried to ease the tension of the other. They were already acting like a couple.
“I apologize,” LarIS signed.
“So let’s get this session summed up and call it for the day. Lola, you are okay up until a certain point. My suggestion would be the two of you practice with different touches and different positions to try to see if one is less stressful. Maybe Lola should try to be on top.”