by Wahida Clark
Shadee’s Benz and Doc’s Range Rover were still in the driveway. Janay, finding a spot to park, hopped outta the car and hurried up the walkway. She turned the knob because she knew she hadn’t locked it on her way out. She hoped that Shadee didn’t have to go out after all, because she was now feeling a deep rooted need to unburden everything that had happened. She threw her purse onto the couch and headed straight for the bathroom. A tub full of hot water and chamomile oil was screaming for her smelly, tired, aching body. All she wanted was to soak, smoke a blunt with a glass of wine or two and for Shadee to hold and comfort her. The closer she got to the bathroom, the clearer she could hear sounds of someone getting fucked but she couldn’t put her finger on it. “I know my fuckin’ neighbor don’t got her skank ass up in my house!” She knew that only Sha and his boy where supposed to be in her house. When she got to Sha’s bedroom she placed her ear up against the door.
“Fuck me man,” Doc begged. But Janay wasn’t sure if that’s what he said or not. His voice sounded different. The growls they were making sounded as if they were possessed.
Janay turned the doorknob and quietly cracked the door. “Oooh!” she gasped, her eyes going wide in shock. So surprised was she that her feet had somehow become glued to the floor. All she could do was stare in horrified fascination at the two big niggas buck ass naked. Shadee was leaned up against the dresser with his head back, eyes closed with both hands on Doc’s head. Doc’s head was bobbing up and down as he was on his knees sucking Shadee’s dick as if he was a crack bitch and was promised a rock if she did a good job.
“Oh, my God!” Janay’s mind screamed out as she watched them enjoy each other, not quite believing what was going on before her eyes.
“Fuck me Sha,” Doc was saying in between slurps. “Fuck me now.”
Shadee acted as if he had an attitude because he sucked his teeth and ordered, “Get up, bitch ass nigga.”
Doc had this slick smirk on his face as he got up off his knees and got on the bed on his hands and knees. “Fuck me Daddy. Give me that big ass dick. You said it belonged to me.”
Janay was getting sick as she saw her man get in position right behind Doc’s ass and ram his dick so hard into his ass hole that she wanted to say ouch. But instead of Doc screaming out as if he was in pain, his eyes closed and he was groaning and throwing that ass back at Shadee, who had sweat dripping off his body, enjoying it just as much as Doc seemed to be.
Janay closed the door back and made a dash for the bathroom, barely making it before she began to vomit. The nasty taste of bile was in her throat and mouth as she frantically began brushing her teeth. Then she abruptly stopped cold, realizing that Shadee was fucking Doc without a condom. She threw the toothbrush down and ran to her room with intentions on getting her gun. But when she got there and closed the door, her mind went blank. What the fuck? What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Her heart was pounding so hard she thought her chest was going to burst. “I’ma fuckin’ kill this nigga!” She went into her closet and pulled out a Smith & Wesson that her pops had given her. When she went to open her door, Sha was stepping out of the bedroom talking on his celly as if he just got done taking a shit. He had his boxers on.
“Nigga how you gonna disrespect me like that?” Doc was coming behind him pulling up his pants. He was carrying his shirt, following behind Shadee who was motioning to Doc to shut up because he was interrupting his phone conversation; but Doc kept going off about being disrespected. When Sha finally flipped the cell phone closed. He started going off.
“Man, why the fuck you soundin’ like a bitch? We fuckin’ partnas, we ain’t man and wife!” Shadee pushed Doc backwards. “You got me fucked up!”
“Oh shit!” Janay mumbled. She threw the gun on the bed, now unsure of what to do.
“Nigga how could you do this to me?” Doc was trying to rush Shadee and was yelling at him.
“Get the fuck outta my house dawg!” Shadee was trying to push him towards the door.
“I’m not going no-fuckin’-where! Shadee how could you do this to me?” He yelled, “Y’all have been seeing each other for how long? When did it start?” He was swinging at Shadee as if he was a bitch scorned.
“Get the fuck out man! I’m not going to tell you again,” Shadee warned.
“Nigga, I’ve been nothin’ but true to you. Fuckin’ bitches, I could deal with it. We had that understanding Sha. But Bishop? You fucked him and Demetrick. That fake ass nigga?”
Popow! Shadee punched him twice in the face. His nose gushed out blood. “You wanna be a bitch?” Shadee kept pimp slapping him. “I told you we ain’t man and wife.”
“Shadee!” Janay yelled as she ran out of her bedroom. Shadee’s eyes got so big she thought they were gonna pop outta the sockets. But Doc didn’t give a shit. He just kept on bitchin’.
Sha was pushing Doc down the stairs and to the door. “Fuck you Sha!” Doc yelled as the door slammed in his face. He immediately began bangin’ on the door. “Girlfriend, if you want to live a long time, do not give him no pussy!” He screamed like a bitch, then started laughing. “That dick has been up in a little bit of everybody! You gonna get yours, nigga!” Plop! Plop! Two bullets soared through the door, one barely missing Shadee’s arm, the other one lodged into Janay’s family photo.
“What the fuck was that Sha?” She wasted no time digging in Shadee’s shit, not caring about the bullets. Her head was spinning and her voice was cracking.
“You heard it all.” He stormed towards her and grabbed her by the neck. “Now we both got a secret: you got a fresh body on your hands and I fuck niggas in the ass! And this better not go no further than this room. You understand?” Janay was gasping for air and tears were running down her cheeks. “Do you understand me?” She shook her head yes hoping he would let her go. “Good.” As soon as he let her go she went to swinging.
“You motherfuckin’ bitch ass hoe!” She screamed as she slapped him in the face. “You fuck every bitch that walks but that isn’t enough. You had to go fuck niggas, too?” She was close enough to get a grip so she dug her fingernails into his face. He slammed his fist up against the bottom of her chin. She let him go and was crying so loud his ears was ringing. She fell to her knees and was looking up at him. “I saw you fuck him, and I heard him Shadee. Loud and clear. I didn’t want to hear him but I did. You fuckin’ more than one nigga! I heard him. You infected ain’t you?” She howled. “How could you do this to me? You hate me that much?” she cried. “Oh, God, why, Shadee?”
When he picked her up off the floor she was kicking and screaming. It looked as if her eyes were rolling up into her head. He tried to lay her down on the couch but she was going wild. He finally slapped her in the face.
“Janay!” he yelled. “Janay!” He slapped her again.
She stopped kicking and was trying to get a grasp on her crying. “Why, Shadee? Babee, why? We have a son together.”
“Get tested, Janay. You probably don’t even have it. The few times in the past few months that we fucked we used protection.”
He attempted to soothe her.
“Not every time!” she screamed. “Damn, Sha! You are my son’s father,” she cried in disbelief.
“Get tested Janay. I doubt if you have it.”
“Shadee. What is the matter with y’all? You have to conquer the world? Huh? Is that it? What is up with y’all fine ass, thuggish niggas fuckin’ each other? I thought Doc was your right hand man? Shit! He looks like Suge Knight. I thought y’all was gangsta! What is the matter with y’all? Huh? Explain this shit to me! Doc has a woman and kids!” She had jumped up and was standing in his face. “Y’all get all the pussy in the world thrown at y’all. Wassup G?” She was walking hard like a dude.
“Girl, go ’head.” He was walking away.
“Go ’head? That’s all you got to say?” She followed behind him as he grabbed his keys and stormed out the door.
17
SHAN AND PEANUT
“Keke, why in
the fuck did you tell me to come over at nine knowin’ damn well you wasn’t gonna be home?” Shan yelled into the phone. Her frustration level was at an all time high. Keke was Peanut’s wifey and she was pressed to pick up the twenty grand she was holding for him.
“My bad Shan. I’ll be there by eleven so come…”
“Whatever. I’m home in the bed.” Click. Shan slammed the phone down, cutting her off. She couldn’t wait to tell Peanut that Keke, along with everybody else on his team, had been giving her the run-around about his money. That’s how niggas do when you get knocked. And that’s what she had expected, so she now had to do what she had to do.
As soon as she got comfortable and reached over and turned off her nightlight the phone rang. She started not to answer but thinking and hoping that maybe it would be her brother she grabbed the receiver. She really needed to hear his voice. “Hello.”
“Shan, please don’t hang up this time! I know I fucked up and if I could take it all back I—”
“Brianna, now is not the time. But I will be by your house in the morning on my way to work.” Click. With that said, that’s the second bitch who got hung up on in the last hour. Brianna had been calling her nonstop wanting to apologize and explain to Shan why she did what she did. Even though Shan missed her best friend, the shit she’d done was totally unacceptable and unforgivable. How could I have been so blind? How could I have been so stupid? B, from day one, was a snake and I couldn’t even see it! How could she do me like this? We grew up together, the sister I never had. Some sister! Shan couldn’t stop thinking about how low the people closest to you would go as she cried herself to sleep.
That next morning before heading over to Brianna’s she decided to pay Keke a surprise visit. At a quarter past eight she was knocking on her front door. Peanut and Keke had had this three bedroom home on the East Memphis for almost two and a half years. Shan knocked harder and rang the bell again. Keke was a baller, the only type of hoes that Peanut would fuck with. All his women at one time or another were in the game. Just as Shan turned to go back to her car the door opened.
“Whassup?” she heard from a deep voice.
Surprised that another nigga would be answering the door, Shan stared at him for a minute. One, because she was starstruck. Two, because Keke got a lot of nerve to have another nigga all up in her brother’s house. “Um…Is Keke home? Tell her Shan is here.” The rapper Project Pat was probably wondering why she was standing there with her mouth open.
“Keke!” he yelled. “You got company!” Then, turning to Shan, “You comin’ in or what?” He held the door open for Shan. “Have a seat.”
“Thanks,” Shan muttered, still confused as to why this rap nigga was all up in her brother’s crib acting like he was legal. On top of that she thought that he was locked up. When he disappeared up the stairs, Keke came down. She looked as if she had just woke up, coupled with the fact of Shan showing up, her eyes were big with surprise.
“Shan, what’s up girl?”
“You tell me what’s up! My brotha ain’t been locked up a month and you got niggas all up in his spot. That’s totally disrespectful.” Shan had to slip that in. “You got my brother’s money?”
“Girl, he just came b—”
“And I just came by to pick up my brother’s money. You ain’t got to explain shit to me.” Shan cut her off.
“Oh. Well, your brother and—”
“I told you, Keke, I ain’t tryna hear that so save the explanations for your man. I got another stop to make so just give me my brother’s money!”
Keke rolled her eyes, turned and sauntered up the stairs. Pat came down the stairs and went in the kitchen. Keke came down shortly afterwards and handed her a manila envelope.
Noticing how small it was, Shan asked, “How much is this?”
“Twenty-five hundred.”
“Twenty-five hundred?! Peanut said you had twenty grand! Where is the rest?”
“That’s all I was holding for him.”
Shan couldn’t help but laugh. “Bitches ain’t shit! But you know what? I’ma let him deal with you. I’m out!”
“Hold up Shan. Pat you got some money on you?” She yelled into the kitchen.
“What you say?”
“How much money you got on you?” He came out of the kitchen, digging in his pockets. He pulled out some bills, shelled out a thousand dollars, gave it to her and went back into the kitchen.
“Here. That’s thirty five hundred.”
“Bitch, please! Is this supposed to make me jump up and down with joy? This is a far cry from twenty grand.” Shan stormed out, leaving no doubt that she was pissed and headed for Brianna’s.
“Can things get any more fucked up than they already are? Why me?” Shan muttered to herself, maneuvering through the morning traffic. She needed ten thousand for Peanut’s bond, twenty-five thousand for the lawyer’s fee and he’s charging her another five to get him transferred to another county jail. At the thought of all of that Shan was ready to snap as she pulled behind Brianna’s Lex. “This bitch better be home!” Shan stuffed the envelope that Keke just gave her into the glove compartment and locked it. It had been a little over a week since she last saw Brianna and was tired of hanging up on her and listening to her whine and grovel. Before she could even knock on the door, it flew open. Brianna was standing there with a black scarf on her head, a faded black T-shirt and white boxers.
“Shan please, forgive me. I am so sorry. There is no excuse for what I’ve done and I take full responsibility.” She wasted no time getting into her apology.
Pop! Shan hauled off and punched Brianna in the mouth, causing her to fall back onto the couch. Shan closed the front door and locked it. Even though she had on a skirt, she kicked off her shoes, sat her bag down and jumped on Brianna. A shocked Brianna could do nothing but block the blows and cover her face and head the best she could. “Bitch…fight me back…so that I can have an excuse…to kill your scandalous ass…!” Those words hurt more than the ass whipping itself. Shan kept beating her until she was out of breath, then fell back against the love seat. The same love seat her and Brianna would kick back, eat ice cream, gossip and watch movies on.
Brianna was balled up into a knot on the floor crying quietly and sniveling like a child. “Sshhhan…I’m sorry.”
“Bitch please! Sorry is not gonna undo what you’ve done to my brother. My brother Brianna!” She grabbed the ashtray and hurled it at her, hitting her shoulder. Brianna wailed like a wounded animal. “My brother has always been good to you. We treated you like family. Why Brianna? I never judged you. I never knocked your hustle, so why? I know you wasn’t that hard up for money! You could have asked me for whatever!” Shan’s voice was trembling and all she could see was fire. “Tell me why you had to do that to him.” Shan sat glaring at Brianna and waiting for a response. All she got was more sniveling. She looked around the apartment and it looked as if Brianna hadn’t left out or cleaned up in days. Pizza boxes, Chinese food containers, chips were all over the table and floor. “This place is disgusting and so are you! Peanut’s bail is twenty-five thousand. Give it up!”
That request caused Brianna to raise her head up. “I don’t have that kind of money,” she barely got out.
“Hoe, I know you got something, so don’t even try to play me. I ain’t the one Brianna. If you really meant what you said about being sorry you would have been trying to get that shit up. What do you have now? The lawyer ain’t gonna do shit without something.” Brianna just lay there on the floor sobbing. “Get your ass up! Go get me something! I gotta stop by the lawyer’s office before I go to work.”
Brianna slowly got up off the floor. “I’m sorry Shan. If I could take it all back, I—”
“Brianna,” Shan interrupted, “save the theatrics and just go get the cash.” When Brianna finally came back she handed Shan some bills. Shan, again feeling how light they were asked, “What the fuck is this?”
Brianna shamefully said, “Fourteen h
undred. I told you I ain’t have no money. This is everything I got here.”
Shan just shook her head in disgust. “All this fuckin’ you been doin’. All this settin’ up the dope boys and you only got fourteen hundred to show for it? Brianna you either one, think I’m dumb or two, you dumber than fuck! You need to check yourself because you’ll never, ever find a friend like me. You better get some more money up because I’ll be back. So lay on that grimey ass back some more because you’re gonna come up with some money. You’re the one responsible for this whole fuckin’ mess!” Then she hauled off and punched her in the face again. “And I know you fucked Kris!” Shan turned and left while ignoring Brianna’s pleas to be forgiven.
Shan was deep in thought on her way to work. She stopped by the lawyer’s office and gave him the thirty-five hundred from Keke and Brianna’s fourteen hundred. A very far cry from thirty thousand. The shiesty ass lawyer kept twenty-five hundred for his retainer and the remaining twenty-four hundred went towards getting Peanut transferred to another jail. “Fuck!” she said out loud. “Forever is going to have to come with it. And I mean soon.”
When she arrived at work, being that this was an afternoon that she taught class, inmates were standing around her office. Some were waiting to ask questions, some wanting to know how soon they could get in her class and some were just waiting for her to unlock the computer room door. She had intentions on canceling class but since everyone around her was ready to get down to business she got herself together and tried to act as if she didn’t have such heavy burdens on her shoulders.
Two and a half hours later, class was over, the halls were empty and Shan was able to make herself a cup of peppermint tea and wind down a little. She was checking her E-mail and sipping her tea when Forever tapped on the door.
“Come in.”
“Why you say it like that? This is your open house. The door is supposed to be open. You sound like you mad ’cause you gotta be here,” Forever told her.