“I see.”
“Well, it was nice meeting you and Henri’s mom.”
“You know, Reye, Stephen has a good future in the law profession ahead of him.”
“Yes, I know, he’s a very good student. I assume he’ll also make a good attorney.” Mrs. Stuart continued on as if Reye hadn’t spoken.
“I want only the best for him. Our family’s law firm is one of the oldest in Dallas, and we have a certain reputation to uphold. He has certain expectations set before him. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I think so,” she said, not really understanding, but wanting the conversation to end so she could get the hell out of there.
“Let me make it clearer to you, then. Stephen is to come home and take his place in the family firm. He is very talented, and, with the right woman at his side, he could make great strides in his life. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I do, and I’d really better go,” Reye said, moving to the door. “Good bye, Mrs. Stuart.”
The door was soundly closed behind her. Well, that was informative, Reye thought as she made her way to her truck. “What a pompous bitch.”
* * *
Stephen was hunched over his books at the local Starbucks. He needed a break from the law library and Reye’s; sometimes a change of scenery could give him a boost of energy.
His cell buzzed and he checked the caller info. His mom. “Hello, Mom.”
“Stephen, did you forget I was going to be in town today?” Yes, he had.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been stuck with my head in the books all day. Where are you? I’ll come to meet you.”
“No, that’s not necessary. I am at your apartment with Joyce.”
“Oh, tell Miss Novak hello. Is Henri there?”
“No, it seems that both of you have abandoned your mothers today. But one of your friends stopped by.”
“My friend?” Stephen racked his brain. Most of his friends knew he wasn’t at home most of the time. He didn’t recall giving the key to anyone. Oh, wait a minute.
“Reye,” his mom said. “She stopped by to pick up some soccer balls. She’s quite an attractive girl, your Reye. Is she from Dallas?”
“She’s not my Reye, and no, she’s not from Dallas.”
“Well, I was surprised to meet her and equally surprised to see her wearing shorts from St. Anna’s Prep school. I didn’t know that they’d begun admitting girls? I thought you told me she was someone you tutored.”
Had he said that? “She’s a friend, Mom.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“You do realize what people expect of you when you join the firm?”
“I know.”
“Reye seems nice enough for Austin, but the demands and expectations of someone with your future are somewhat different.”
“I understand. Again, Reye and I are just friends. I hope you were pleasant to her.”
“I don’t like your meaning, Stephen. I’m always cordial to people I meet.”
Stephen had seen his mother cordial, and it could freeze Hell. He probably should call Reye.
“I need to get back to my books.”
“Sure, Joyce and I will be at the Four Seasons. We’re leaving in the morning. I love you, and remember I only want the best for you. I want you to have the advantages that I didn’t have growing up.”
Not this again, thought Stephen. “If I don’t see you before we leave, I’ll see you in three weeks, for your graduation.”
“Good bye, Mother,” he said, disconnecting and sitting back in his chair, oblivious to the sounds around him. He didn’t want to imagine the conversation between his mother and Reye, nor the shock. He’d forgotten he’d given her the key, and, more importantly, that his mom would be in town. He needed to talk to Reye. And say what? Yes, my mother is correct. There is no future for us. You wouldn’t fit in with me in Dallas. His mother in her frustrating, intrusive way had brought that reality front and center. He’d go by Reye’s later, recognizing that there wasn’t ever going to be a good day to break up with her. He had dreaded this, had spent the better part of this semester feeling unsettled. He agreed with his mom; even though what he had with Reye was good, he had a lot he wanted to accomplish. He would move home, start work, and over time forget about Reye.
He would miss her. She’d become special to him, but he wasn’t sure if that special would, could, last. Maybe someone else would come along and mean more.
* * *
Reye’s truck was parked in her driveway. He pulled in behind her and walked to her door. He would miss this house. It was so like her, eclectic, fun, yet serious in the care she gave to it. The care she gave to those around her, the kids at the center, and him. He would miss all of that. He knocked and waited. He could hear movement inside, and, a few seconds later, she opened the door. She stood there looking at him, smiling.
“Hey,” he said.
“Back at you,” she said sassily, turning to let him in. He closed the door behind him, dropped his book bag, and went to take a seat on the couch. She joined him, pulling her legs up Indian-style.
“I heard you met my mother today,” he said.
“Yes, I did. She was surprised to see me, didn’t know anything about me.” Anger was a quiet backdrop to her words. “Apparently she was under the impression that you were tutoring me.”
“I hadn’t told her about you because she can get way too interested in my life. She would have just harassed me to death. I told you from the beginning that dating you was new for me, it’s not something I’ve done before.”
“Almost a year ago. I remember, I just thought we’d passed that point, Stephen, somewhere this year. I did, at least. I mean, you spend most of your time here, practically live here. I thought I’d come to mean more to you. I thought we had something special.”
“It did and you are, but you’ve finished with school and you have plans for your life. I’ll be finished in another three weeks. I’m going back to Dallas, Reye, to a different life with a set of plans, goals, and expectations for me.”
“What expectations? To marry a girl more like you? To be this great lawyer for the family firm?” Her anger quickly moved to the front.
“You and I both know how important my career and my family are to me. I’ve told you that often enough, and I can’t believe you’d think this could, would, turn out any other way than with me leaving,” he returned.
“You don’t want to see me anymore? Is that what you’re telling me, just like that?”
Stephen watched anger and hurt settle on her face, but continued.
“If you’re honest with yourself, Reye, you knew it would end. I never told you anything different,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “My world in Dallas is so different from here. Austin is a carefree place; all kinds of people are welcome. Dallas is different, old standards, old contacts, and it would be difficult to change that.”
“You don’t think I’m worth it?” she said, tears forming in her eyes. “Am I not worth fighting for?” she asked quietly.
“Come on, Reye, it’s not a question of worth, and it’s not about fighting, but if it were, I don’t want to live my life fighting, a least not with my family. Don’t make this harder than it is.”
“I’m not trying to, but times have changed. I see a lot of multiracial couples around. We wouldn’t be the first,” she said, talking in earnest now, reading the word no written on his face. “We could take it slow if you want, I’d be willing to wait for a while until you do.”
“Come on, Reye, I can’t.” He looked at her, watching a tear snake its way down her cheek.
He reached for her hand and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry, Reye.”
“You don’t know it now, but you will come to regret this,” she said.
He reached for her and pulled her onto his lap, moving his hand to cup her face and using his thumbs to brush her tears away.
“Look, Reye, what you feel for me w
ill pass and I will be just a blip on your radar.” He gave her a shaky smile, his eyes bright, too.
“Good bye, Stephen,” she said and removed her body from his lap. “You can see yourself out, right?” she said, not bothering to hide her tears.
“Yeah,” he responded, watching her walk away from him and down the hall to her room. He heard the door close. He continued to sit there for a while, willing himself to go. It was harder than he’d thought it would be. A few minutes later, he grabbed his book bag and left.
* * *
Sam stood outside of Reye’s front door and rang the doorbell for the fourth time. He hadn’t heard from her, she hadn’t answered her cell, and he was worried. Her truck was parked in her drive. He looked around her many hiding places for her spare key and found it under a squirrel statue. That statue wore a cocky smile as it held a nut behind its back, reminding him of Reye. He unlocked the door and went in, looking around for signs of life. Quiet. He walked down the hall. Her door was closed, and when he opened it he found her asleep. She lay on her side, facing the door. He walked over to her and sat down on the bed.
“Reye,” he said and lightly shook her. “Reye, it’s me, Sam, your annoying big brother.”
She stirred and looked at him. “Sam, what are you doing here?”
“Looking for you. You haven’t answered my calls.”
“I turned my cell off.”
“For three days. Why, Reye? And why are you in bed? Are you sick?” He put his hand to her forehead, checking for signs of fever.
“Stephen came over,” she said, and, just like that, her tears started again. The story of Stephen came pouring out, and, with it, her hurt. Sam looked around for tissue, noticing the multitude of used ones overflowing from the trash basket. He went to the bathroom and returned with another box.
“When did this happen?” he asked, thinking it through. “Let me guess, three days ago? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t have the energy.”
“Have you tried to call him?” She shook her head no. “I threw my SIM card away so I wouldn’t be tempted to call him. I may be a weakling, but I refuse to beg.”
“Have you eaten?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Come on, Reye, don’t do this to yourself. If he didn’t see that you were worth it, he’s not worth you,” Sam said, now angry on her behalf. Reye started to cry again. “Come on, baby girl. It will be all right. What about your time at the center? Have you spoken with them?”
“Yes.”
“What about graduation? It’s in a week. You know how much this means to Mom and Dad.”
“I can’t do it. I’ve already gotten my degree, I don’t want to go through with the ceremony. Please call and explain for me, just tell them I’m sick.”
“Okay, Reye, I will, calm down.” Sam sat for a while with her until she’d fallen asleep.
He was worried; this was so unlike her. She needed to eat. He left her room and went to the kitchen in search of food, thinking to himself that if he ever saw Stephen again, he’d kick his ass from here to Dallas and back! Sam knew Reye loved him, could see it on her face whenever Stephen was near. Sam just thought he’d seen an answering love in Stephen’s. He guessed he was wrong.
* * *
Reye woke up to the sound of someone knocking at her door. What day was it? She hadn’t eaten in a while. She laid there waiting to see if the knocking would continue. Her stomach growled, bemoaning its hungry state. No further knocking, but she heard the door open and close and she sat up.
“Baby girl?” a voice sounded from her living room. Her dad was here.
“Hey, Dad, I’m in my room. I’ll be there, give me two seconds.” She stood, a little weak. I really need to eat something, she thought. She went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.
She finished up in the bathroom and walked into the living room where her dad sat, watching something on ESPN. “Daddy, what are you doing here?” She went over to sit next to him on the couch.
“Sam called me and your mother. He told us that you didn’t want to participate in your graduation ceremonies. You know we love you and we’ll do whatever you want, but I needed to hear you explain why to me, why you would want to miss something you’ve worked so hard for.”
“I know you’re right, I know what it means to you and Mom. I’ve changed my mind, I’ll attend the ceremonies. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“What’s wrong, Reye? Come here and talk to your dad. You know there is nothing you could do that would make me ashamed of you.” She scooted over to him and he pulled her in close. She laid her head on his chest, starting to cry. She told him of meeting Stephen last year, of how they’d spent most of their time together and all the things they’d had in common, and his ending the relationship.
“You know you’ve always told me to be myself, that I should take chances, right, that someone would love me for me. When will someone take a chance on me?” Her voice broke and she started crying again. Her dad held her and let her finish. “I don’t think I’m going to ever stop crying,” she said, going for humor.
“So, how are you going to proceed, baby girl? Are you going to sleep your life away, lay around feeling sorry for yourself, or will you be the tough girl that I know and raised and get back in the game? I bet those children at the center miss you. I bet they love you.” He sat silently for a second. “I know what it means to be hurt. Your mom wasn’t my first time around the block,” he said and smiled. “Give yourself time to feel sad. If you loved him like you say you do, it may hurt for a long time, but promise me you won’t let it stop you from being the best you. You don’t have to participate in the ceremonies, but you can’t withdraw from life. Okay?” He squeezed her to his side. “Promise me you won’t.”
“I promise, Daddy.”
“And if that young man was willing to let a great girl like you get away, then he wasn’t worth you.”
* * *
Stephen closed his test booklet and stood up to turn it in. He grabbed his bags and walked down the hall. That had been his last final. He was done! Graduation ceremonies were scheduled for next week. His parents and grandparents would be here, overjoyed and proud of him. He walked over to his car, unlocked it, and threw his bag in the backseat. He put the key in the ignition and sat there, staring out of the window. He missed Reye. It had hit him at different times during the day, a sharp ache, a hurt that left him unable to breathe for a few seconds sometimes. He had expected to miss her, just not quite this much. He hadn’t seen or heard from her in about two weeks. She hadn’t called and he’d expected her to, secretly wished she would. He guessed he’d really made it clear that he was moving on, and he would. He could do this, one day at time. It was for the best, right? One more week to get through and he could go home. He hoped that would be far enough away.
PART TWO
Chapter 14
Stephen—six months later
Stephen woke up in his bed next to an unidentified female and tried to pluck her name from his memory. Remembering he’d met her last night at a party, his mind went in search of a name. Christy? Maybe. Her blonde hair spread out on the pillow next to his as she lay sleeping on her stomach, her face turned away from him. He sat up, pulling with him the blanket that had been draped on his body and partially covering hers, leaving her bare. Nice tattoo, he thought, peering at an angel on her left butt cheek. Nice cheeks, he also thought, removing the blanket from his body. He dropped it over her. He looked around his room and found clothes, leading in a line from the bed to the bedroom door. He also saw used condoms and wine glasses scattered over the floor.
Not wanting to wake her, he slowly slid off the bed and stood up. She moved a little, moaning in her sleep while Stephen held his breath. Thankfully, she continued to sleep. Running his hand over his face, he looked around the room for his watch. What time was it? Noon, if the light from the windows were any indication. He had to stop doing this, part
ying and drinking, drinking and partying; it was getting old. In the beginning, he’d at least known something about the girls he brought back to his apartment; not that they were people he cared about, just warm bodies, people to use, to lose himself in. Rubbing his hand over his face again, he couldn’t remember when he’d first broken his cardinal rule. Never bring women home! Now he was forced to see them in the morning. He hadn’t even broken that rule for Reye, and she had meant something to him.
He found his watch. It was eleven-thirty, and lucky for him he had nowhere to be and no time to be there. He used the bathroom, taking note of the nearly empty box of condoms. It was comforting to know that even in his drunken state he’d practiced safe sex. He moved to stand in front of the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked hung over and thinner. He’d lost weight, dark shadows had taken up permanent residence under his eyes, and he clearly hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. He laughed sadly to himself. He was no longer Reye’s golden one. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been outside, active. He spent most of his time inside at someone’s party.
He’d been back home in Dallas for about six months now, found an apartment within the first two days of returning, and used money from his trust fund to purchase it. He’d given living at home with his parents a try, but that lasted for one day and one night. He’d felt locked in and antsy. He needed his own place, and he wanted to be alone. He found a gem in a new building downtown. It was a newly built condo. Since he’d left Austin, he seemed caught in between three main emotional states—restlessness, anger, and sadness. His emotional turmoil made being around anyone for any length of time untenable.
“Hey, baby,” said a soft voice behind him. He looked in the mirror as the woman with the angel tattoo stood behind him in her naked splendor. Pretty girl, he thought. “Why don’t you come back to bed,” she said, moving towards him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “You were great last night, except for the part when you called me Reye.” Stephen stared at her refection in the mirror, nonplussed.
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