Once that was done, she could relax. A quarter of the next four years, one of the three location segments for each year, would be in the bag. Just having one down would be huge. She could relax, take the changes in stride.
Get back on her game.
Besides, she had a dinner meeting with her senior crew that evening. To discuss the upcoming format and travel changes that would be going into effect after the first of the year. She’d like to be able to tell them that they had one permanent location already locked in—one that wouldn’t require them to be away from their families as much as others. She hoped everyone would be on board and able to stay with her, but if not, she needed to know as soon as possible.
No longer pretending that she was just as happy to leave Spencer’s contract with Betsy, or at the house, she locked up the studio—without having taken a single note—and headed back up toward the house.
What she’d do if the black car was still there, she hadn’t yet decided. But figured she’d at least give a knock on Spencer’s front door.
As it happened, a woman came out of the house, followed by Spencer, just as she pulled up. Slender. Well dressed. Refined. The dark-haired woman was in pumps and a navy suit and looked older than Spencer.
But who was she to judge? A lot of young guys went for older women these days...
The woman didn’t look happy.
Natasha couldn’t imagine Spencer being at fault for that.
Stopping, she saw his head turn toward her. And though she acknowledged even in the moment that she’d probably imagined it, she thought his expression showed...delight. Before he hid it.
The other woman got in her car, started it and was already backing around to drive out by the time Natasha had parked.
Spencer met her halfway to his front door. She glanced at the expensive black car leaving dust in its tracks. “An unhappy customer?” she asked.
It was none of her business.
But she paid attention when he shook his head. Paid attention to the frown he was wearing, as well.
Probably for her as much as the woman who’d just left.
“I came to bring you this,” she said, handing him the envelope she’d pulled out of her satchel before leaving the SUV. “Have your lawyer take a look, sign it when you’re ready and we’ll be good to go.”
She wasn’t going to ask if he’d changed his mind. Didn’t want to give him an easy out. She also knew him well enough to understand that he’d have no problem informing her if he had.
He took the envelope. Didn’t open it. But slid it under his arm. As though he meant to do something with it. She took that as a good sign.
“I...was just out looking at the space,” she said when he made no move to walk with her to the house. To invite her in. “As soon as the current segment is done, I’d like to have the architectural firm begin work on a more permanent set, with an eye possibly to designing other sites for me, as well. I’d like to keep the sets as similar as possible...”
She was babbling. So not her.
He nodded. Still frowning. Still not going in. But not walking away, either.
“What’s wrong?” She was only a business associate. It wasn’t her place to ask. But it was obvious he was bothered. And she wanted to help if she could.
He had the option to shoo her away.
Shaking his head a second time, he looked at Natasha. And kept looking.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
HE NEEDED TO get married. The plan was in place. Jolene was in line, but Spencer still wasn’t sure asking her to marry him was fair. He knew he was never going to marry for love again, but she still yearned for that chance.
She yearned for a family of her own, too.
He could give her that, at least.
With Natasha looking on, he’d also spoken with Tammy, Miss Rodeo Kentucky, on Saturday. Just to congratulate her on her honorable mention.
But she’d be back that weekend. He could try harder. Just to show Natasha for absolute certain that there was nothing between them.
The Family Secrets host stood in his yard—on a day she wasn’t expected—and he couldn’t find the words to get rid of her.
“Nothing’s wrong.” He considered it a step toward recovery—from what, he didn’t know—when he managed to get the lie past his teeth.
He was burning from the inside out with the irrational need to get to town, haul his kids out of school and lock them on the ranch—where they’d be secure and happy—for the rest of their lives.
At the moment, everything seemed to be falling apart around him.
Everything seemed to be threatening what mattered most—his family unit.
Including himself, he acknowledged as he added, “Really, everything’s fine.” And continued to stand there, connecting gaze to gaze, as though she’d somehow understand what he couldn’t.
“You don’t expect me to believe that.”
The warmth in those not-quite-brown, not-quite-green eyes called to him.
“That was Kaylee’s mother.” He just put it right out there.
“Who’s Kaylee?” She wasn’t grinning. No TV show personality present at all.
“My ex-wife.” He’d told her once before, but didn’t blame her for not remembering.
“That Kaylee.” Her expression changed. “Tabitha and Justin’s mom. I thought she wasn’t in contact.”
“That was their grandmother.”
“Has something happened to Kaylee? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine,” he said. “She’s married to a Washington mover and shaker.” And he honestly didn’t care—other than to wish her well. No angst. No defensiveness. No...sadness. If he’d ever really loved her, he no longer did.
“I’m sorry.” Natasha’s gaze shadowed. For a split second, he wanted that compassion.
“I’m not,” he told her, meeting her gaze head-on. Closing Pandora’s box. Natasha’s compassion was not good for him. He held up the envelope she’d delivered. “I’ll take this to town today. Have my lawyer take a look, and if all is well, I’ll get it in the mail tonight.”
Her glance at the envelope seemed a bit startled. As though she’d forgotten why she was there.
Which gave him a brief bout of pleasure.
She nodded. And then said, “Why would your ex-wife’s mother drive all the way out here to tell you Kaylee got married? Didn’t you say her folks had never been here?”
Jolene would never have asked the question. She wasn’t that invasive.
“I did.” He had to get rid of her. She was too dangerous.
“So...” Frowning, she cocked her head at him. She was supposed to be taking the hint and heading out.
“You want a glass of iced tea?” His throat was dry. Hers might be, too. He could put her drink in a plastic cup that she could take with her for the drive across the desert.
“Sure.” She walked with him to the house. Knew her way to the kitchen. Leaned against the counter while he put ice into two plastic cups left over from a cookout he’d had a while back.
He couldn’t figure how a woman dressed like she belonged in a New York office could look so at home in his kitchen.
But he didn’t let the perception fool him. He knew better.
Best not forget.
“Apparently, at the time of our divorce, Kaylee and her father failed to tell Claire Williamson, Kaylee’s mother, that she had grandchildren. She’s since found out and sought legal opinion as to the paperwork Kaylee signed giving up rights to her children and found that while Kaylee has no rights, she, as a grandmother, does. Apparently all fifty states uphold grandparent visitation rights.” The words came out while he poured.
Now, that was grounds for compassion. He didn’t turn around to find out if he could sense any from
Natasha.
“Top that with the fact that the man my ex-wife recently married is close to sixty and incapable of fathering any more children, and you have a woman with a plan.”
He was still processing, but that was the gist of it.
“What plan?” Natasha was no longer leaning on the counter. She took the tea he’d poured for her and handed one to him before settling at the table. In Tabitha’s spot.
So as not to be rude, he also sat down.
Ignoring her tea, Natasha leaned forward, placing her hand on his knee. “What plan, Spencer?”
He looked at her, so...there. In his space. His life. Just for the moment. But the moment was all he needed. “Kaylee never wanted kids,” he said. He sipped tea. Set the cup down. Crossed his arms across his chest.
And didn’t move his knee at all.
“She didn’t say so,” he clarified. “Not until the twins were on the way. She’d convinced herself she’d changed. That she really wanted me and the life I had to offer. But it hadn’t taken long for the rural life to drive her nuts. By the time she’d figured it out, she was pregnant.”
That about summed up the problem.
“So...” he continued, “marrying a guy who’s already had his family, and signing on for a life without children, seems perfectly right for her. I think she made a good choice. I’m happy for her.”
She’d given him the best part of his life—Tabitha and Justin—so he wanted her happy, too.
“Claire doesn’t agree.”
He couldn’t pretend. The twins’ futures depended on him facing the truth here. Feeling as though everything inside of him had just gone weak, Spencer felt something that he supposed was panic.
He focused on the feeling.
“She wants them.”
“What?” Jumping up, Natasha yelled the word. Spun around. Sat again. “She can’t just come in here and threaten to take away your children! You’re a great dad. They have a great life here. No court in the country is going to take those kids from you!”
If he hadn’t been so out of his element, he might have smiled at her vehemence.
“She’s not threatening to take me to court,” he said. Not yet, anyway. “She wants to spend time with them. Let them get to know her. And then she wants them to visit her in Washington. Spend the summer there with her. Most particularly, she finds that Tabitha’s situation is unhealthy, with no mothering influence in our home, and she wants Justin because it wouldn’t be fair or right to break up a set of twins.”
On the surface, it didn’t sound completely outrageous. Or wouldn’t if what Claire was offering weren’t so at odds with what he already provided his kids. Summers on the ranch were a way of life that got in the blood and stuck there. Gluing you to a life of happiness, of belonging, and...because he was playing his cards right...lifelong security.
And no matter what it looked like on the surface, he knew where Claire was heading.
“You can’t let her have them for such a long stretch. She’ll try to acclimate them to that type of life, make them think they can’t live without it...”
The steely glint in Natasha’s eyes reminded him who she was—where she’d come from. She knew more about Kaylee’s type of life than he did. Had grown up in the East Coast world of money and power.
She was telling him what he’d already figured out. Claire might say that she wanted only visits. But she was planning to wage battle with him over them. Not in the courts yet. Natasha was right. She probably wouldn’t win there.
But if she could confuse the kids with different choices, spoil them with everything money could buy, she might be able to convince them that they wanted to live in Washington with their mother’s family.
And then she’d go to court.
“Tabitha needs a woman’s influence.” He repeated the statement Claire had made most often during her ten minutes on the ranch.
The woman had come prepared with the perfect speech. Meant to sound loving, friendly and conciliatory while it was deadly.
“She has Betsy.” Natasha punctuated the words with a nod of the head.
“She needs a mother.”
“A lot of girls are raised by single fathers.”
“The Williamsons have enough money to offer her the world. Ballet lessons. Horseback riding lessons. Pretty clothes and the ‘moral and manners’ guidance every young girl needs.” He was paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.
The horseback riding had been an arrow in his gut. So far, he’d been refusing to let Tabitha on a horse, but the chance to have one of her own was something she might be willing to sell her soul for.
A purchase he’d be putting in motion that afternoon. He’d give her the horse for Christmas.
“You have money, too.”
Not like they did. Not enough to pay expensive lawyers in long legal battles and give his kids all of the fine things the Williamsons would provide, and still pay for college and have enough left to guarantee that the ranch would be secure for generations to come...
Weakness returned to attack his joints. He looked at her. “If she has legal visitation rights...” Claire needed only to make that one statement for him to know her game. And his vulnerability.
With all of the powerful people at their command, they could beat him at whatever war they waged.
They could hire investigators. Have means to look at dusty records. And if they looked deeply enough, long enough, they could find some dirt that might sway a judge into thinking he wasn’t good enough...
His gaze landed on Natasha, like a last-ditch effort. If Jolene had been there, he was confident it would have landed on her.
“You need to get married,” Natasha said in the same tone she’d used when outlining her business plan for a yearly Longfellow Ranch segment of her show. “Kaylee has signed away her rights to the children. If you’re married, your wife will naturally assume those rights. Even better if she adopts them. No one is going to take a child from a loving family just because a grandparent wants him or her.”
Yes. Heady with relief, he knew what she was saying was right.
He’d been worried over nothing.
Nodding, he grinned at her. “I have a plan already in motion to that effect,” he told her.
“You do?” Natasha sat back, frowning.
“Yes. I’ve recently implemented a plan to find a wife. I hope to be married, or at least engaged, by Christmas.” Originally the timeline had been the following summer. But Claire wanted the kids during their first break from school. That was Christmas.
“You plan to find a woman, date her, fall in love and marry in the next three months?”
“I have no intention of falling in love,” he told her. “That’s not what I’m looking for. And I’ve got a couple of options in the works. A woman I’ve known a long time who is a good friend. And I’ve put out a request on the internet, as well.”
She blinked. “You aren’t kidding.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’ve never been more serious.”
“Is she, the woman you’ve known a long time... Do I know her?”
“No.”
“Does she drive a white pickup?”
He had a mind to ask how she knew that. But didn’t want to explore far enough to find out. “Yes.”
“Do the kids like her?”
“I’m working on it. They don’t know her very well.”
“Does she like them?”
“I think so. Of course. But, as I said, they don’t know each other well yet. I’ve made it a habit to keep my dating life separate from them. I didn’t want them confused. If it turns out that she doesn’t love them, I’ll move on to plan B.”
For a businesswoman, she was looking pretty shocked. Or horrified. Or something. He thought she,
of all people, would get it.
“But...you don’t love her?”
“I love my children,” he said very succinctly. “I would give my life for them.”
“I know, but...”
“I love my ranch,” he continued. He’d give his life for it, too.
She nodded. “But...”
“I loved a woman, once.”
“Kaylee.”
“Yes.”
“I understand your reluctance to try again, but you can’t judge all women by one, Spencer. You chose to marry someone who wasn’t right for you. That doesn’t mean there’s not a woman out there who is the right one.”
“I have children to think about. I won’t let their stability, their security, depend on whether or not my heart flutters when I’m around my partner. The twins need me to respect her. To be fond of her. Good to her. They need her to love them. To put them first.” He knew these things.
Knew what it was like to grow up without them.
If he got nothing else right in life, he was going to do this one thing perfectly.
“Betsy and Bryant seem to love each other,” she pointed out.
He wasn’t sure how she’d been able to make that assessment, having been around the ranch only a few times.
“I’m not saying that marriage and love can’t happen. I’m saying that I have no faith in my heart’s ability to discern whether or not I love a woman, which means my odds of making a second mistake are high. I will not bet my children’s future on those odds.”
“What about your mother? You obviously loved her. You stayed on the ranch with her, took care of her. I know it’s a different kind of love, but I’ll bet your father loved her, too. In the way a man loves a wife.”
“I felt deep affection for her.” The woman he’d called his mother. “She wasn’t one given to any real show of emotion,” he said. “And so, in that vein, I can’t tell you whether or not her marriage was based on love.”
Natasha looked...strange.
“Really,” he said, wanting to reassure her, “it’s fine. We’ll be fine. It’s a good plan. And hey, as soon as I sign those papers—” he nodded to the envelope he’d dropped on the other end of the table when they’d come in “—you’ll be around enough to keep an eye out and see that I’m on track.”
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