by Karen Wood
The stress and anxiety Jess held for Opal floated away with the smoke, and her bruises stopped aching. She opened her mouth and exhaled the anger she held for Lawson. A warm smoky blanket wrapped around the sadness in her heart that Diamond had left there, softening and soothing.
She sat like that for several minutes, with her eyes closed, and it felt good.
Jess opened her eyes after a little while and watched the twisting plumes of smoke carry her demons away. She felt spellbound, a bit light-headed.
Lindy kept singing and then pushed the dish towards Luke. She motioned him forward and he did as he was told, closing his eyes and inhaling cautiously, his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.
Lindy took more leaves and placed them over the coals. She snapped off a small branch and waved the smoke all around him. After a while she stood and kept fanning the smoke as she walked behind him to pull his shirt up and over his head.
As Luke’s shirt peeled from his body, Jess noticed that he still wore the moonstone pendant she’d given him ages ago.
Lindy waved the smoke at his ribs and Luke put a hand over them and scowled. Lindy continued to fan the smoke over his body, and he reluctantly lifted his arms and let her have her way, looking sideways at Jess and winking.
Grace walked into the camp with a saddle in her arms and a bridle over her shoulder. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked loudly.
Bob put his finger to his lips, then answered her quietly. ‘Smoking – she’s cleaning us from bad energy. Like washing your spirit, if you’ve been near a ghost or a place that’s no good.’
One by one, Lindy went around to the rest of the group, Ryan, Grace, Shara and then Rosie, performing the same ceremony.
When Lindy finished, Rosie began to softly sing the pony song. Lindy looked at her, with her perfectly groomed nails and fresh lip gloss in the middle of the outback. ‘Crikey, Rosie, is that the only song you know?’
Although Jess had vowed she never wanted to hear the pony song again as long as she lived, she had the sudden urge to join her.
Shara grabbed a chunky stick and began to bang on a metal bowl.
Bob stood up to dance in the smoke, chanting in his own language, which went surprisingly well with Kasey’s lyrics. He stamped his feet like a cranky emu and held out a hand to Grace, who jumped up and joined him. ‘This is fun!’ she said.
‘You’ve all gone troppo,’ said Mrs Arnold, walking past with a huge pot in her arms. ‘You sound bloody terrible.’
Jess sang even louder.
Luke rolled over the log and grabbed her in a rugby tackle, laughing and rumbling her to the ground. He growled wordlessly in her ear, sending goosebumps up her arms. She giggled and rolled with him until they both lay on their backs, staring up at the late afternoon sky.
When Rosie started singing the third round of the pony song, Jess stopped singing and lay there, acutely aware of Luke beside her. He lay with his hands behind his head, chest rising in a slow rhythm as he breathed. The moonstone sat in the hollow just beneath his Adam’s apple.
‘What day is it?’ asked Jess.
‘Tuesday,’ said Luke. ‘Or Friday? Something like that.’
Jess sighed. ‘I think I missed my birthday.’
‘When was your birthday?’
‘Wednesday. Or Monday, or something like that.’
Luke laughed.
Jess heard the hollow twang of a banjo being plucked. The fingerpicking was intermittent and erratic, as if the instrument was being tuned.
‘How old are you now?’ asked Luke.
‘Ummm . . .’ Jess mumbled. ‘Sixteen.’
The banjo suddenly burst into a continuous lively roll.
‘Hey, that’s Harry’s banjo!’ Jess sat up.
Ryan sat looking into the fire with a banjo on his lap, one foot resting on a bucket. His right hand was a blur of plucking fingers and his left moved easily up and down the fretboard while the rest of him was motionless.
He saw Jess’s head pop up from behind the log and began to pluck the tune for ‘Happy Birthday’. Somehow he managed to make it sound sad.
By the time Rosie, Grace and Shara got to ‘Happy birthday, dear Je-ssi-caaa,’ Luke was staring at Jess with an unquestionably wicked grin. ‘Sweet sixteen, ay?’ he said, so quietly she barely heard him.
She looked at his grubby face and shaggy, dusty hair. ‘And never been kissed; it’s ridiculous.’
‘Let’s go for a swim in the river,’ he whispered.
20
LUKE LED JESS to a small clearing. He ripped off his shirt and boots and waded into the river in his jeans. When it reached his waist, he sank down, disappearing into the murky water, leaving ripples and bubbles on the surface.
Jess opted for jeans and singlet and waded in after him. She squealed as two arms wrapped around her legs and tried to pull her under. She let herself fall and felt the cool water rush over her upper body, neck and then face.
When they surfaced together, Jess’s fingers twined through Luke’s. They stood facing each other, chest-deep in the water, grinning stupidly at each other.
‘You still wear that moonstone.’
He nodded.
‘Does it give you good dreams?’
His grin broadened. ‘You have no idea.’
Jess felt herself blush. ‘Mrs Arnold’s going to follow us down here, you know.’
Luke stopped smiling and looked at her with a face she couldn’t read.
She slid her arms around his neck, stood on tiptoe and kissed him quickly on the lips. He pulled her close and kissed her back. Then they stood there with their foreheads together, nose to nose, grinning.
‘I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,’ whispered Luke.
She kissed him again. ‘How long?’
‘Ever since you threw yourself all over me in the ute at Harry’s place.’
A sudden memory flashed in Jess’s mind – jumping into the back of Harry’s ute, and accidentally falling into Luke’s lap; she’d nearly died of embarrassment. She pulled away and scoffed. ‘I did not. You are so on yourself.’
‘You did. You wanted me bad,’ he laughed, pulling her back into his arms.
She pushed at his chest. ‘You wanted me bad.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘All right, I did,’ he confessed.
Jess put her arms back around his neck. ‘So am I your first-ever kiss?’
‘No.’
‘Really? Who else? You said you wanted to kiss me for years!’
He gave her a teasing smile.
‘Who? Tell me!’
‘Jealous?’
‘Tell me.’
‘It was a long time ago.’
‘How long?’
‘’Bout fourteen years.’
‘No one’s kissed you for fourteen years?’
‘Sounds a bit tragic when you say it like that.’
‘No wonder you like hammering people.’
Luke’s mood changed instantly. ‘I don’t like hammering people.’ He reached around his neck and peeled away her arms, taking her by the hands again and giving her a hurt look.
‘Yeah, I know, but you . . . just seem so comfortable with violence.’
‘Seen a lot of it, I s’pose.’ He let go of her, waded out of the water and began towelling himself with his shirt.
Jess followed him onto the riverbank. ‘Are you angry?’
Luke sat heavily on the sand and put his elbows on his knees without answering.
She knelt down in front of him. ‘All that fighting really freaks me out.’
‘I was looking after you when I hit Dave.’ Luke ran the back of his hand over her cheek, a dark look in his eyes. ‘It doesn’t stop, you know. When they get drunk like that, they just go on and on until they’ve destroyed everything around them. I’ll never be like that. I was in total control. I knew when to stop.’
Jess looked at him, at his gorgeous seventeen-year-old face, boyish and playful, framed by a wild mop of messy hair.
‘I know you’re not like that.’
‘I’m not,’ he promised.
‘I know.’
Luke breathed a sigh and looked relieved. ‘I don’t need to get into fights, because I’ve got my life together now. I don’t do that stuff anymore. Not unless someone deserves it—’
‘Luke, will you shut up?’
He shut up and looked at her, frowning.
She shoved him.
He shoved her back, smiling.
Jess grabbed his hands and he rolled onto his back, pulling her down with him. Then he was kissing her again, and she was kissing him back with her whole heart.
Until Mrs Arnold came crashing through the trees. ‘Ahem!’
21
DARKNESS WAS FALLING as Jess stood towelling her hair in the back of the truck. Outside, she heard the banjo and easy banter stop suddenly. Rosie, Shara and Grace pushed their way hurriedly into the trailer and all but the cows went strangely quiet. Lawson and Stanley were riding into the camp.
The four girls jostled for a view out of the small window as Lawson dismounted and tied Chocky to a sturdy tree. Without so much as loosening the colt’s girth, he marched directly to Ryan and kicked a bootful of dirt at him. ‘Get up!’ he yelled. ‘Get up and tell me where those ringers have taken my good mare!’
Ryan – wisely – stayed seated. He held up his hands defensively. ‘I don’t know. I told you, I have no idea.’
Lindy put a hand on Lawson’s arm. ‘You can’t blame him, Lawson. Ryan can’t control what the other men did.’
Lawson stood there, breathing heavily, and then walked away. He sat on the other side of the fire and tore off his hat. ‘What’s for dinner?’ he snarled.
‘It’s not cooked yet,’ said Mrs Arnold. ‘We’re running late, just like you.’
‘Maybe you’ll think twice before you go putting alcohol in it this time,’ said Lawson.
‘What the—’ ‘This run was supposed to be alcohol-free.’
‘It was for cooking!’
‘Well, they still found it, Jude.’
Mrs Arnold’s mouth was a thin line as she grabbed for a pile of tea towels. Wrapping them around her hands, she heaved her enormous pot of half-cooked stew from the fire and marched to the trailer. ‘You can all go bloody hungry tonight,’ she said, and kicked the door shut behind her.
‘Great,’ said Lindy. ‘Now you’ve upset the cook.’
Lawson crammed his hat back on and stalked off.
With Lawson gone, the girls stepped cautiously one by one out of the trailer and continued with their jobs.
Jess shook her head with disbelief. ‘Lawson is such a pig. My father would never talk to my mother like—’
‘He’s upset about his horse,’ said Stanley. ‘Give the man a break.’
Jess looked at Luke, who sat tight-faced against the wheel of the trailer, tapping one foot anxiously against the other. She went over and sat by him. ‘You okay?’
‘I need to get away from all this,’ he said stiffly. ‘I’m gonna go crash in the back of the ute.’ He walked off into the darkness.
Jess went back to the fire and stood next to Rosie while she added more logs. ‘Well, that went well.’
Rosie burst out laughing, then quickly dissolved into sobs.
‘Heyyy,’ said Shara, putting an arm around her.
‘He is such a pig,’ said Grace. ‘How dare he talk to Mum like that? I can’t believe Dad stuck up for him. I’m never getting married.’
Lindy sat opposite them, her serious face illuminated by the flames. She picked up a stick and poked at the fire.
‘How come Lawson always listens to you?’ Grace asked her.
She looked up. ‘Because he’s a kind and decent man.’
‘How can you say that?’ asked Jess.
‘How can you not?’ said Lindy. ‘I thought you of all people would understand how he’s feeling right now, Jess. That man has spent all day droving my cattle instead of chasing after his mare because it’s the decent and honourable thing to do. If you want him to show you some respect, then all four of you need to get off your butts and earn it.’
Jess, Grace, Rosie and Shara all sat there, dumbfounded.
‘Why didn’t he just ask us to drove the cattle?’ said Grace eventually. ‘Oh yeah, that’s right – because we’re all girls. We’re only good for cooking and cleaning.’
‘Shut up, Grace,’ said Rosie.
‘I’m going to bed,’ groaned Jess.
Jess lay in the peak of the trailer with her leg still aching and her stomach screaming for some food. It was so quiet outside that she could hear the crackle of the fire. Mrs Arnold lay in her cot, motionless except for her fingers, which drummed angrily on her arm. The incessant tapping noise was beginning to drive Jess nuts, and she lay there fantasising about daring to throw a pillow at her.
There was a bang on the trailer door. ‘I want everyone to come outside for a talk,’ said Lindy’s voice.
‘This oughta be good,’ grumbled Mrs Arnold.
Jess dragged herself out of bed.
One by one, Lindy brought everyone from their hiding places. Lawson stood with his arms folded, looking surly, and refused to sit down. Mrs Arnold wouldn’t leave the doorway of the trailer. ‘I can hear everything from here,’ she said obstinately.
Jess rejoined Shara, Rosie and Grace, who sat along a log with blankets wrapped around them. Bob stood quietly in the shadows, Luke took one of the fold-out chairs, Stan and Ryan stood alongside each other, both with arms folded across their chests.
Lindy held up a short thick stick. ‘No one talks unless they hold the stick,’ she instructed, then she began a lecture. ‘What is wrong with you mob? You guys are all kin, mostly. You should be pulling together. Someone’s done wrong by your family member and you’re not banding together. I don’t get it.’ She held the stick out. ‘Who wants it?’
Everyone stared at it in silence.
She gave it a coaxing wave. ‘User-friendly.’
No one took the stick.
Lindy spoke again. ‘If anyone’s to blame for those ringers, it’s me – I hired them. They were my staff, my responsibility. I just wish I’d got rid of them quicker.’
Ryan stepped forward and took the stick. ‘I didn’t know those blokes well enough. I thought they were okay. I wouldn’t have asked you to put them on otherwise.’
Mrs Arnold marched out and grabbed the stick from Ryan. ‘Not my fault one of ’em raided my stash.’ She stomped over to Lawson and shoved the stick at him. He refused to unfold his arms, and she poked him with it.
‘Hey!’ he said, angrily.
Lindy coughed. ‘Um, that’s not really how it’s used.’
Mrs Arnold thrust it insistently at Lawson again, and this time he snatched it from her. ‘What do you want me to say?’
Mrs Arnold snatched it back. ‘You can start by apologising,’ she snapped.
‘To who?’
‘Don’t you speak while I got the stick.’
‘You snatched it off me!’
She thrust it back at him.
‘I don’t want it now.’
‘You guys are like children,’ said Rosie.
‘You’re a disgrace!’ Grace jumped up, marched over and held out her hand for the stick. Lawson ripped it from Mrs Arnold’s hand and gave it to her.
‘We’re not just useless girls, you know,’ said Grace. ‘You could’ve asked us to help with the cattle. Me and Jess and Sharsy and . . . I s’pose even Rosie. We could help Lindy drove the cattle while the men go and look for Marnie. You could take the ute.’
‘Marnie’ll be at the saleyards by now,’ said Stanley.
‘Oi!’ Grace waved the stick at her father to shut him up, then handed it back to Lawson and waited for his response.
‘Marnie’s microchipped and branded. I’ve reported her stolen to the authorities, so she should get picked up if she goes through any saleyards. But the ringers would know that.’ He shook his head. ‘I just
hope they don’t shoot her. She’s too nice a horse.’
The camp fell silent. After a while, Jess stepped forward and took the stick from Lawson’s dejected grasp. ‘Let us help with the cattle, Lawson. We can do it. You should be off looking for Marnie.’
He held his hands in the air. ‘Looking where?’
‘I don’t know, maybe go back to where I saw their truck and follow the tracks?’
Lawson gave Lindy a what-do-you-think look.
She nodded. ‘I think it’s a good idea. You got some good riders here. They’ll be all right if they listen up.’
Lawson looked unconvinced. ‘Fifteen hundred head of cattle to move?’
‘They’re very quiet, old cows mostly. I’m sure the girls can handle them.’
Jess could see Lawson turning things over in his head. Finally he gave a sigh of resignation. ‘You’re the boss. If you don’t mind me taking off. If you’re happy to ride with a bunch of kids—’
‘We’ll be right,’ said Lindy. ‘Won’t we, girls?’
Grace jumped up and punched the air. ‘Yeah, baby!’
‘We’re going droving,’ cried Shara, jumping up and grabbing Jess, Rosie and Grace. The four girls jumped around in a circle.
‘No more stockies’ jocks!’ Rosie rejoiced.
‘Hang on a minute,’ said Mrs Arnold. ‘You can’t all go. I still need help to pack up camp. I’m going into town for supplies tomorrow.’ She looked at the four girls, who were still hand in hand, jumping for joy. ‘Someone’s gotta stay with me.’
The girls all stopped and stared at each other.
‘I’ll stay,’ Jess volunteered eventually. ‘I wouldn’t mind going into town and finding a phone.’
‘Good,’ said Mrs Arnold.
‘Right, that’s settled then,’ said Lindy. ‘Grace, Rosie and Shara can ride with me. You blokes can hunt down those ringers and get Marnie back.’
Bob sidled up to Lawson. ‘Want me to come? Might find some tracks.’
‘That’d be great, Bob,’ said Lawson, slapping him on the shoulder and suddenly sounding more positive. ‘We’ll take the ute, put the motorbike on the back.’