by Anne Brear
‘They say each panel represents a man’s grave. They fought over a lady, who, after they killed each other, threw herself into the waterfalls from Lumb’s Bridge. Legend has it she still haunts the bridge on misty nights.’
Isabelle shivered. ‘Poor woman. Indeed it would be difficult to be responsible for such deaths.’
Ethan took her hand and kissed it. His gaze sought and held hers. ‘It is easy to imagine the despair of being torn asunder by love.’
She swallowed, feeling his passion and intensity like a physical force. ‘Ethan…’
‘Yes, my love?’
‘Don’t call me that.’
He took her other hand and held them both to his chest. ‘Do you feel my heart, Isabelle?’
She nodded, unable to speak, unable to breathe.
‘It beats for you. Only you.’
She tried to pull her hands away, not needing the evidence to know of his sentiments, but his grip tightened. His eyes told the story, his body played out the actions of his soul. He loved her. His every deed confirmed his words.
Tears pricked her eyes. ‘What are we to do?’ she whispered, afraid of acknowledging her heart.
‘We trust each other. Do you trust me?’
Again she nodded.
Ethan smiled, a glorious smile that melted her bones. His eyes mirrored the happiness that possessed him. ‘I promise you, here at Abel Cross, under this blue sky, surrounded by sheep, birds, and heather that I will always be yours in my heart until I am free to make it legal by law and God.’
Her eyes widened at his sincerity. ‘Oh, Ethan…’ She reached up on tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips. ‘I promise you, here at Abel Cross, under this blue sky, surrounded by sheep, birds and heather that I will always be yours in my heart until I am free to make it legal by law and God.’
‘Weehoo!’ He picked her up swung her around and around.
She laughed and cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him. It felt so right, so pure.
Chapter Nine
Isabelle, humming tunelessly, swept the path from the scullery door to the water pump. Along the path, herbs released their fragrance as her skirts brushed against them. Pausing, she heard Hughie’s laughter from inside one of the barns. He did a lot of that these days. Bertie idolised him and was a willing follower. Their father and Bertie’s arrival had been a blessing to Hughie, if not to her.
Her heart, although softened from Ethan’s love, still remained cold and hard towards her father. Despite his attempts to fill the breach between them by helping around the farm and gestures of courtesy, she couldn’t forgive him for the past. Her cool reserve towards him did not extend to Bertie, however, for the boy was loveable, with a shyness that reminded her of Sally. He had grown in the two months on the farm. Bertie responded quickly to any chore she requested of him, and on many occasions surprised her by doing a task before being asked. He was no hardship to love.
Isabelle believed her father knew why she took frequent long walks into the wood, and this only aided her in being barely civil. She tried to make sure they were never alone together, never able to talk. Yet, his eyes sometimes told her things that his mouth never uttered. It didn’t concern her if he approved or not but, nevertheless, she felt uncomfortable every time she donned her shawl and slipped away to met Ethan.
Ethan. An inner glow of bliss warmed her and she sighed. For short moments during the day while she did her monotonous chores, she allowed her mind to concentrate on only him; his laughter, his wit, the way he smiled at her, the way his eyes lingered on her face. His kisses sent her to heaven, and she knew with an inborn logic that it wouldn’t be long before they took the next step and loved each other in the full sense of the word. Her skin tingled at the thought.
She turned and carried the broom back into the scullery and then ducked her head into the kitchen to check the time. Nearly noon. After quickly washing her hands, she tidied her hair and dusted off her skirts. She wrinkled her nose at the washed out colour of them. Ethan offered many times to buy her new clothes, but to do so would cause comments from Hughie. She recoiled at the thought of him finding out about her and Ethan; the shame would be too much.
‘Going out again?’ Aaron walked into the kitchen from the hallway.
A guilty flush crept up her cheeks. She paused on the kitchen step, her hand on the door handle. ‘Just for a walk, while the weather is fine.’
‘Be careful, lass.’
She stared at him. ‘I’m only going for a short stroll.’ Her words sounded false even to her own ears.
He lowered his gaze. ‘Aye, if you say so.’
Isabelle raised her chin. ‘You think otherwise?’
‘What you do is none of my business.’ He shifted his weight from foot to foot. ‘All I’m saying is that if you play with fire be prepared to get burnt.’
She hated him for guessing her secret. Knowing that another knew about her and Ethan’s friendship somehow defiled it. ‘The time has long gone since you were allowed to have a say in what I do. I am answerable to my husband only and since he has abandoned me, then I am answerable to myself.’
He inclined his head in acknowledgment of her words. ‘I just don’t want you to be hurt.’
‘You don’t want me to be hurt?’ She mocked him with a humourless laugh. ‘You mean hurt like when you walked out on us? Hurt when Grandfather died? Hurt when we were forced to enter a private workhouse? When mother stopped eating and died of a broken heart? Hurt when Sally no longer cared enough to fight a common cold and allowed it to weaken her lungs? Is that what you mean?’
‘Belle-’
‘Don’t call me that!’ She yelled. ‘You have no right!’ Pain and disappointment ate at her. She denied her tears an outlet and let them burn within her heart like a cancer.
As though an old man, Aaron stumbled to the table and sat down. ‘If I could leave now, I would.’
She turned away from him in disgust. ‘Leaving is what you’re good at, isn’t it?’
‘I stayed with your mother for as long as I could, but I wasn’t made to stay in one place all my life. Being a husband, a father, smothered me. It wasn’t as though I didn’t love you all, I did, but I couldn’t breathe.’ He shook his head, his eyes not seeing the kitchen, but locked somewhere in the past. ‘The responsibility was too much. Your mother never understood my ways. She met me at a fair. I lived and worked within a travelling fair. I loved her at first sight. We both thought I could live in one place and be happy.’
‘I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses. What kind of man abandons his family?’ Isabelle steeled her heart against him. She had loved him, adored him, once and he had left without even a goodbye. She wouldn’t give him the power to wound her that way again. ‘If you want to leave, you can. I will take care of Bertie. He doesn’t deserve to be dragged around the country, always hungry, always tired.’
‘I can’t go.’
She shrugged, desperately trying not to care.
‘I am a coward.’
‘Yes, you are.’
He cleared his throat. ‘I came looking for my family because I didn’t want to die in a roadside ditch somewhere.’
Isabelle turned to stare out of the window. ‘The saying goes, ‘Only the good die young.’ I am sure it will be many years before you meet your maker.’
‘Not true. I am ill.’ He scraped back his chair and stood.
She glanced at him over her shoulder as he pulled up his shirt and vest. A large lump in his side distended his stomach. Her eyes widened at the ugly misshapen bulge. She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. The swelling only highlighted his thin lankiness more.
Aaron grimaced. ‘Not something you wished to see, I’m sure.’
‘What is it?’
‘Some cankerous growth I’m told. A doctor in Scotland told me last year that I’d not have long, a year or two at most.’
Abruptly, white-hot fury overcame her. ‘So you came home to die? You came home to burd
en us with your illness and then death? You would have saddled mother with all this after walking out on her?’ She gripped the table to stop herself from scratching his eyes out. ‘Have I not enough to contend with? Wasn’t it enough that you returned with an illegitimate child? But now this!’
He stepped back at her ferocity. ‘I…I-’
‘You’re not just a coward, you’re a selfish, unthinking swine! And I hate you!’ Isabelle picked up her skirts and sped from the kitchen. She ran across the yard, scattering geese and chickens, through the back gate that opened into the house field and dashed towards the woods. A sob broke from her. I hate him.
Blind with tears, she scrambled over the stile to fall to her knees on the other side. A youth walked on Draper’s Lane, but she ignored his questioning look and scrambling up, flung herself across and into the dense trees. New leaves coated the branches and made a canopy over the wood like an umbrella, blocking out the sun. In the dim light, she skittered down the incline. With the back of her hand, she dashed away her tears. A tree root tripped her. She fell hard, knocking the air out of her lungs. The dank smell of earth filled her nose. She lay outstretched, numb and not wanting to move for the fear of the pain that would certainly break her heart. He came home to die.
‘Isabelle!’
Ethan’s cry jolted her upright and in seconds she was in his arms.
Kneeling on the dirt, he held her tight, searching her face and body for evidence of an accident. ‘I’ve been waiting for you. What’s happened?’
She clung to him, sobbing.
He kissed her head. ‘I have you now, my love. You’re safe with me.’
‘I hate him!’
‘Who?’
Wordlessly, she shook her head and cried into his shoulder while he held and soothed her. It felt right to be here in his arms. His solid strength made her feel protected, safe. Ethan was the one person she could trust, depend on.
At last, she hiccupped into silence. Her eyes felt sore and puffy and her nose ran.
‘Can you tell me what upsets you so, sweetheart?’ He pulled out his handkerchief and wiped her eyes, then passed it over for her to hold.
‘My father.’ She blew her nose. ‘He came to find us because he is dying.’
‘Oh, my sweet.’ He kissed her softly and held her close.
Snuggled into his chest, Isabelle sighed and closed her eyes. Being held, comforted, allowing another to hear her worries and wipe away her tears was paradise. A haven she hadn’t known existed.
Ethan kissed the top of her head. ‘Is there anything I can do for you? I can pay the doctor’s fee or-’
‘No. Thank you.’ She cupped his cheek in her hand. Loving him so much was a physical pain she couldn’t heal. He lowered his head and she welcomed his kiss. After a moment they pulled apart and she rested her head on his chest. ‘I don’t know how long he has. It may be months, a year even.’ She shuddered, remembering the sight of her father’s stomach.
Ethan ran his fingertips down her cheek. ‘I’m here to help you through this time, my darling. I’m always here for you.’
‘I know.’
He tightened his hold on her as he twisted them around together, so that he leant against a nearby tree. ‘Lie quiet. Rest.’ He kissed her ear. ‘You gave me such a fright. I can’t tell you what I thought when I saw you running and crying like that.’
Nodding, she closed her eyes. ‘I’m sorry. It became all too much. I don’t want to watch him die. I detest him for doing this to me and Hughie.’
‘I understand. It’s not going to be easy.’
‘No.’
He sighed and stroked her arm, as she lay curled up against him. ‘Sleep for a while, sweetheart.’
Suddenly, tiredness cloaked her like a heavy blanket. She wouldn’t sleep, not really, but it was nice to close her eyes and relax in his arms. Overhead the birds twittered, skipping from branch to branch. Further down, the soft trickle and hum of Hebden Water wafted on the light breeze.
Isabelle opened her eyes slowly, disorientated.
‘Had a good nap?’ Ethan grinned down at her.
‘I fell asleep?’
‘Indeed, my pet, for at least an hour.’
She jerked upright. ‘Lord!’ Warmth flooded her cheeks. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Nonsense.’ He laughed and gathered her back into his arms. ‘I enjoyed holding you, watching you sleep.’ He took her hand and played with her fingers, kissing them, nibbling them.
‘They’ll be worrying about me.’
‘I will walk you home.’
She shook her head, recalling the scene in the kitchen. ‘I’m don’t really want to go yet.’
‘Then stay here with me.’ He kissed her with such tenderness, she felt as if all her bones had gone to mush.
Isabelle swallowed, knowing with an inborn logic that the mood had changed between them. Heat replaced her grief and awoke her to his sensual caresses. His breath shortened, she felt his heart beating beneath her hand. It pleased and frightened her that he could want her so much. ‘Ethan…’
Her nibbled her neck. ‘Hmm, my love?’
‘Farrell and I have never shared a bed.’
Ethan raised his head to stare at her. ‘Never?’ His eyes widened.
‘No, never. Our marriage hasn’t been consummated. At first I did want it, only so he wouldn’t look for an excuse to throw us out, but now I’m glad we didn’t.’
He closed his eyes briefly before a slow grin escaped. ‘That’s the best news I could have hoped for.’ He kissed her quick and hard and then laughed. Amazement glowed in his brandy eyes. ‘This is magnificent news! Have you any idea how I’ve tortured myself, thinking he has touched you?’
She shook her head, surprised by his response.
Suddenly, his expression grew serious, his eyes narrowed with longing. ‘This means you are truly mine, Isabelle. Do you understand?’ He kissed her lips, her eyes. His voice dropped, thickened. ‘All mine forever.’
‘Yes.’
‘You mean everything to me.’
‘I do?’ She blinked in happy surprise. ‘Truly?’
‘Of course!’ He pulled back to frown at her. ‘You don’t believe me?’
She glanced away with a shrug. ‘It wouldn’t be the first time a man in your position took a mistress.’ Inwardly she cringed at that awful word. Mistress.
He took her chin and turned her back to him. ‘No, not you. Never a mistress. I promise you.’
‘But that is what I am. Now. It’s silly to deny it.’
‘You will be my wife. You have my word, my bond, my heart.’ He tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear. ‘You do believe me, don’t you?’
Isabelle squirmed closer. ‘Yes, but it won’t be easy. Nothing ever is. If I’ve learnt one thing over the last six months then it is that.’
‘Agreed. However, I love you and I will never let you go.’
She threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. Her body was on fire for his touch. An urgency, a wanting of completeness possessed her. She kissed him with a passion that surprised herself. She needed him in a way she didn’t entirely understand. Her body cried out to be fulfilled and her soul ached for a warm refuge from the harshness of her life. Ethan offered the answers to her needs. Moreover, she knew she gave him the love he craved and could only find with her. The power was heady.
She welcomed his kisses, soft at first, before becoming more demanding as his fervour grew like a consuming fire. She tore off his jacket, unbuttoned his waistcoat and helped him to shrug it off.
‘Glory be, Isabelle, I must have you,’ he whispered, hot against her mouth.
‘We will have each other, yes?’
He chuckled. ‘In every way, my darling, in every way.’
She tilted her head back as he kissed her neck, while his hands worked at the buttons of her blouse. His shirt soon followed the way of his jacket and waistcoat. Isabelle ran her hands over his chest. Delighting in his masculine sh
ape, she clenched her fingers in the light sprinkle of chest hairs and bent to kiss him there.
Ethan sucked in a breath. He quickly used his jacket as a blanket and laid her down. Reclining beside her, he assisted her in undressing. Soon her corset and chemise lay in a heap beside them. Ethan went to take her skirt off but she stopped him.
‘No, darling. Leave it on.’
‘But-’
‘If someone should come, I can quickly cover myself.’
He nodded and then grinning, he slipped his hands up her thighs under her skirt to gently wriggle down her drawers. His voice became husky. ‘Do you know how I’ve dreamt of this moment?’
Isabelle bit her lip as his fingers found her. Her breathing stopped as for the first time the most intimate part was touched by another.
‘You’re ready for me, my sweet.’
‘I am?’ She swallowed. His fingers, soft and gentle, worked to make shivers of delight spread throughout her body. Her hand hovered over his, wanting to pull him away, yet to also keep it there. ‘Oh Ethan. I’m not sure…’
‘I will stop-’
‘No!’
He kissed her, flicking his tongue gently against hers. ‘Touch me, Isabelle. Feel what you do to me.’ He guided her hand to the bulge in his trousers. ‘Free me, my love.’
Hesitant, she unbuttoned his trousers and helped him to shove them down to his knees. Her eyes widened at the sight of his arousal.
Ethan lifted her chin so that she looked into his eyes. ‘Kiss me, Isabelle.’
Taking a deep breath, she ran her fingers through his hair before raining light kisses over his face. He pulled her close, laying her head on his arm. ‘I love you.’
‘And I you.’ Isabelle grinned, her skin tingling under his sensuous touch. ‘I want this to last forever. Just you and me in our wood.’ She gazed up at the tree canopy. Dappled sunlight filtered through like hundreds of fingers. To be exposed in the open was such a wicked delight that she giggled.
Ethan raised his head from sucking on her nipple. ‘What’s so funny?’
‘We are so immoral. I never thought I would say that about myself. Yet, I don’t feel bad about it. I guess I am doubly damned.’