“Judge Haley has been murdered.” Sam gave a detailed account of what he knew so far. At the conclusion he looked at the ground.
Boggs was astonished. “I can’t believe that son of a bitch walked out of Metro last week. Some pissant screwed up and now Judge Haley’s paid the price.” She took a deep breath. She noticed that Sam was still looking at the ground. It looked as though he was taking this personally. Boggs put her arm around him. “I know it’s rough,” she said softly. “We’ll get him.” Sam looked up and smiled. “You’re right. Frank will find him.
Let’s go inside. We have a party to go to.” Once inside, Sam bellowed over the sounds of animated conversation. “I think most everybody’s here. Anyone else who shows up is on their own. First of all, Morticia and I would like to welcome you all to our haunted . . . er, I mean hallowed home.” 121
A few groans could be heard and Betty rolled her eyes.
“Next, introductions. Names to go with costumes. If you want to know what someone does for a living, their favorite music or their availability, you’re on your own. Here we go. There will be a quiz later. Buffalo Bill here on my left is normally addressed as Dave. Calamity Jane is, well, Jane. The Clintons over by the chair are actually Dick and Monica. The head on a platter is Anne. Nice entree, by the way. Mr. Peanut is Billy. Tammy and Joan are the M&Ms. I believe Joan is the peanut one. Oscar is dressed as . . .
well, I’m not quite sure. A nerdy investment banker? Anyway, he’s next to Delores, who is a hairdresser on acid. Next is Toni, a.k.a.
‘Slim’ the refrigerator repairman, and Boggs is something new this year, an undercover gumshoe. Sandy is the chef with a cleaver in his head and Andy is the banana with a cleaver in his head, or as he refers to himself, a banana split. And last but not least, Vicky is the sumo wrestler. Be careful of her near food.” Betty took over. “Thank you, Gomez. Now, everyone help yourself to plenty of food and drink. We’ll start a couple of games soon for anyone who is interested. Our transportation will arrive around nine to take us to the haunted house. As always, don’t worry if you overindulge. We have designated drivers for your trip home. Most of all, enjoy!”
The group traipsed into the kitchen, filling their plates before wandering back to the family room. Toni was in line next to Vicky, the sumo wrestler. “So,” she asked. “What’s your dieting secret?” They giggled and Toni poked Vicky’s sumo wrestler stomach with her finger. It looked like a giant bodysuit stuffed to the max.
“Well,” Vicky whispered confidentially, “I try to limit myself to only ten dozen Twinkies after each meal and snack only on marsh-mallow cream. I see you’re starting a little dieting yourself.” She laughed. “And if I’m not being too forward, I just love your butt.”
“Thank you very large, no pun intended.” Toni piled Smokie Joes and cheese on her plate. “Do you think these will hurt my figure?”
“Oh, not at all.” Vicky shook her head. “Anyway, it’s a party, might as well shoot the moon.”
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Toni grinned and rolled her eyes. “Well, I suppose I’ll be the butt of many jokes tonight.” Several people around her laughed and nodded. With a full plate in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, she headed back to the family room. She spotted an empty chair near the sliding glass door, but once she was in front of it she realized she had a slight problem. Holding something in both hands and attempting to plop down in a low, overstuffed chair spelled disaster. She didn’t see Boggs and there wasn’t a table nearby so she stood there, momentarily perplexed.
Just then Betty appeared at her side. “Having a bit of a logistics problem, Slim?”
Toni, slightly embarrassed, nodded. Betty took the plate and glass and motioned for Toni to sit, which she did with a thud. The chair looked far more padded than it actually was. She reached for the plate and balanced it on her leg, then took the glass of wine.
“Thank you,” she said. “And thanks so much for inviting me to your party. I’m glad I finally got to meet you. Sam talks about you so often, and he’s been wonderful to me at work. He has really welcomed me.”
Betty smiled broadly. “That’s Sam all right.” She pulled a chair over next to Toni and sat down. “He’s talked about you, too. He thinks you’re an asset to the department. It’s probably been a little hectic for you. I mean, you started a new job and then all this business with Crown. I know it’s been getting to Sam and he’s not even working the case. He’d probably like to be in the thick of it, but I think he’s also glad it’s Boggs. He thinks the world of her, you know, and so do I.”
Toni smiled ever so slightly and nodded.
“Well, Toni,” she said. “Again, thanks for coming and I hope you have lots of fun tonight. I’m going to start the games.” With that, Betty got up and headed to the center of the room.
“Attention wild people,” she called. “We are now going to attempt to play charades. The rules are simple, unless you’ve already had too many drinks. We’ll have two teams, one on each side of the room. All the answers have something to do with the wonderful 123
Halloween season. No talking if you’re up, but anything else goes.
Ready?”
Cheers erupted. Toni assumed this was an annual event and pretty fun, judging by everyone’s reactions. She searched the room for Boggs, who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and sat down next to her.
“I guess we’re on the same side, Slim,” she said with a wink.
It did not go unnoticed by Toni. Hmm. That wasn’t a quick
“I’m in your corner” wink, she thought. That was a deliberate—
long—wink. Here we go again. She took a long swallow of wine.
Well, maybe she’d play along and try to match her tit for tat. She laughed out loud at the thought.
“What’s so funny?” Boggs asked.
“Just me,” Toni replied. “I just decided that I’m going to let loose and have a gay old time tonight.” She kept a straight face and turned her attention to Sam, who was stirring up slips of paper in a plastic pumpkin. Boggs was grinning.
Vicky wandered over with a bottle of beer tucked in her sumo thong, a plate in one hand and dragging a folding chair with the other. “Mind if I join you, Slim and Ms. Private Dick?” Boggs laughed and helped her position the chair next to hers.
“Need help navigating your butt to its target?”
“Yes, thank you very much.”
Toni sensed these two knew each other quite well. Before she could ask, Vicky spoke.
“My name is Vicky, in case you missed it in Sam’s intro. I should have introduced myself when we were in the food line. I’ve known Boggs here for several years, so I’m not being obnoxious without good cause. I’ve earned the right to call her any number of unflat-tering names.”
Toni liked Vicky’s style. “I’m Toni. So how do you know each other. Friday night wrestling matches?”
Vicky laughed. “I like your attitude. Boggs was right. You are different from most attorneys, no offense.”
“None taken. In fact, I take that as a compliment.”
“Well, to answer your question, I met Boggs about five years 124
ago. I was considering shooting her but decided against it. Too much paperwork, you know.” By this time, Vicky was leaning forward so she could speak to Toni. Boggs was sitting between them, but Vicky completely ignored her. “I’m on the Fairfield police force, in background investigations now, but then I was a patrol officer. We got an anonymous call about a drug deal about to go down at a local bar. All we knew was it supposedly involved a white female and a Hispanic male. When we went into the bar there were only a few people inside. No Hispanic males and this nut was the only female. My partner, a neo-Nazi who has thankfully moved on, screams at her to ‘assume the position,’ which she does. I must say it was rather amusing. Anyway, when she ‘assumes,’ my partner Adolph sees what he think is a bulge and yells, ‘Gun.’ I, of course, immediately draw down on her. Adolph is screaming obscenities and Boggs does
n’t say a word. Finally, I tell my enlightened partner to cover me while I frisk and cuff her. Something didn’t seem right. I had never had a perp so calm. As I begin to frisk her, she calmly tells me who she is and that her badge is in her back pocket, which of course it is. She then tells me the ‘bulge’ is actually a walkman and that her weapon is secured in her ankle holster. I totally cracked up. It took about five minutes to convince Adolph, but Boggs was such a good sport. We’ve been friends ever since.” She paused and took a sip of beer. “So, Toni, what’s it like working hand in hand with the infamous Boggs?”
Before Toni could answer, Boggs leaned forward and waved her hand in the air. “Hello. I’m sitting right here. Vicky, must you always talk to people as though I’m not in the room?” Vicky shook her head and gestured as if shooing a fly. She leaned over Boggs’s lap and got a conspiring look in her eyes. “Any good dirt on Boggs?”
Toni was up for the fun. “Well,” she said slowly, “I’ve got a plan that’s bound to work. I’m going to get her all liquored up and then challenge her to a game of truth or dare. I’m bound to get some juicy stuff from that. I’ll record everything and give you a copy, okay?”
They all laughed but were interrupted when Sam announced, 125
“Let the game begin.” There was giggling and outright laughter as the opposing team tried to figure out the ridiculous gestures by the
“head on a platter.” Finally someone guessed “carving pumpkins” and the head took a bow. Sam walked to their side of the room and held up the plastic pumpkin.
“I’ll go,” Boggs volunteered. This was followed by a few groans and much applause. Apparently, Boggs was somewhat creative at this game. She took a slip of paper and went to the center of the room. She read the slip, thought for a moment and grinned. Then she went into a dramatic silent portrayal of a dog howling.
“Howling!” Joan the peanut M & M shouted. “A dog howling.” Boggs gestured that she was half right.
“Werewolf howling,” someone else yelled.
Boggs nodded vigorously. Then, without warning, she ran over to Toni, took her plate and glass and handed them to Vicky. She yanked Toni from her chair, pulled her to the center of the room and turned her toward the fireplace, bending her over slightly.
Toni was stunned, to say the least. She glanced over her shoulder as Boggs again acted out her howling and pointed to Toni’s butt.
There was silence for a brief moment, then someone called out,
“Werewolf howling at the moon!” This was followed by loud cheers and laughter. Boggs took a deep bow and then pointed again to Toni’s butt. Cheers again erupted.
The banana split shouted from the back of the room. “But that’s not fair . . .”
Laughter and groans could be heard in response to his choice of words.
Sam held up his hand and made the official call. “Okay, props can be used, just no talking by the players. The rules are final. No ifs, ands or buts!” Again there was laughter. “Since we are now tied, prizes for all.” Everyone cheered some more. Sam took a bowl of “prizes” and began tossing them to the crowd. Toni caught a plastic pumpkin ring. Boggs snagged a Milky Way bar and Vicky grabbed some Sweet Tarts. Someone got up from the other side of the room and drew a slip of paper from the plastic pumpkin. The game resumed and Boggs and Toni returned to their seats.
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“Nice teamwork,” Vicky said wryly. She handed Toni her plate and glass. “Maybe you two should go on the road.” She ignored Boggs and addressed Toni. “So, next subject. Are you changing before we go tonight?”
“Absolutely,” Toni said. “I’m afraid I’d get stuck if I didn’t and then I’d have a bunch of strange people groping my butt. As a rule I don’t mind strange people, but I’d prefer to pick them myself.” Vicky nodded. “That’s exactly how I feel. Obviously we’re both sitting with a strange one here, but that’s okay. I’m going to change, for obvious reasons, before we go, but I have a feeling Boggs will remain in character. Can you stand it? If not, we can always lose her in the haunted house.”
Toni thought for a moment and looked Boggs over with a dis-criminating eye. “I suppose we could put up with her for just one night. It’s not like we’ll be seen or anything. I understand that these places are pretty dark. I mean, I could stand it. How about you?”
Vicky rolled her eyes. “I guess it’s okay with me. It’s not like it’s a date or anything.”
There was a split second when Toni saw a look in Vicky’s eyes, as though she might have betrayed a confidence. Boggs smiled ever so slightly. Vicky continued quickly, clearly hoping Toni hadn’t noticed. She had.
“Any-who . . . let’s all go in the same van, okay? I think the idea of a haunted house is great. Sam and Betty really outdid themselves this time.”
After several more rounds of charades, each getting sillier, and several more “prizes” awarded to the group, Betty announced that it was time to get ready for the big event. Vicky motioned for Toni to follow her and they both grabbed their bags and headed down the hall.
“Betty said we could change in the back. There’s an extra bedroom and a bathroom. Take your pick,” Vicky said.
Toni opted for the bathroom and began peeling off her extra layers. She took the old pair of overalls from her bag and pulled them on over her shorts and T-shirt. Done. She packed her rubber 127
butt into her bag, careful not to crush it. While bending over her bag, she heard voices coming from the heating vent. Being an ever-curious soul, she leaned closer.
Vicky was saying, “I guess I almost blew it, huh? I figured you had told her, especially since you two had come here together. I’m really sorry. Me and my big mouth. Do you think she caught on to that ‘date’ crack?”
Toni heard a mumbled response. She pressed her ear closer to the vent.
“And how are you so sure? Did she tell you?” Vicky asked.
Toni heard Boggs’s voice this time and literally smashed her ear into the vent.
“No, she didn’t tell me, but I know. I talked to Dan last night and he told me that the guy she’s always hanging out with is as gay as they come.”
“Oh, geez, Boggs. You must be in lust, because you’re not thinking with your head. What the hell does that prove?
Remember Kelly from vice? She hangs out with Tim all the time.
Even goes to the clubs with him sometimes, but she’s as straight as an arrow. What are you thinking? Any other ‘evidence,’ Ms.
Private Eye?”
There was a long silence. Finally Boggs said, “Damn. How stupid could I be? I guess I just wanted it to be true, so I convinced myself. Brilliant detective work. I better just cool my jets. But still
. . .”
“What now?” Vicky asked. “And help me out of this thing, will you? Here, pull on the arm.”
Toni heard some rustling around and then Boggs said, “It’s just that I thought I felt something with her. I don’t know how to explain it, but . . . I don’t know.”
Toni’s eyes got wide and she felt her face flush. There was a funny feeling in her stomach and it wasn’t the wine. Dear God.
Had Boggs felt it too? I wasn’t the only one to feel it. The electricity.
Could she actually be as attracted to me as I am to her? Toni continued to eavesdrop.
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“Maybe it’s just a physical thing, Boggs. I mean, hell, she’s not bad to look at, at least I don’t think so. Here, pull the other arm so I can get the pillows out.”
“Of course she’s gorgeous,” Boggs said. “But that’s not what I’m talking about. I felt something deeper. You could just feel the electricity between us. It was fantastic. Maybe it was just in my own head. For now, I’m going to be Ms. Perfect Manners. No more flirting.”
Toni was stunned. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God,” she kept murmuring to herself.
Vicky said, “Well, I don’t care one way or another. I think she’s a total blast. We’re going to have a ton of fun tonight. Okay, I’m
ready. Let’s go.”
Toni waited a couple seconds after hearing the two leave the room. She took a quick look in the mirror and noticed her ear was bright red. Oh, the price one paid for confirmation.
Back in the living room, the crowd was gathering in the kitchen and on the front porch, preparing to go.
Betty was shouting above the voices, “The vans are outside and ready to go. You can leave your stuff here. They know we’re coming, so as soon as everybody has arrived, we’ll be ushered in and given the VIP tour.”
Smiling, Toni walked up to Boggs and Vicky and grabbed their arms. “Ready for some fun, girls?”
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CHAPTER 14
Officer Patty Green was back on patrol. She and Steve had can-vassed Judge Haley’s neighborhood but gotten no leads. No one saw or heard anything unusual. After informing Frank, she resumed her normal routine. The unusually slow night had given her way too much time to think about the crime scene, and the way Judge Haley looked. The image of Mr. Haley stuck in her head.
How horrible it must have been for him to find his wife like that.
Patty glanced at her watch. Only a couple more hours left on her shift. The night dragged on. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she got a call from dispatch. It never failed. Once she told herself how slow it was, she always got a call. Murphy’s law.
The dispatcher gave her the address of a citizen at his residence. Report of a possible prowler. Name was Ralph Fredrickson.
Patty rolled her eyes. She had taken many a report from Ralph.
Most of the time they were about one of his neighbors. She was only a couple of blocks away. “Ten-four. Put me out at that address.” When she pulled up in front of the house, Ralph was on the 130
front porch waiting. She grabbed her clipboard and a blank report form and got out of the patrol car.
“Good evening, Mr. Fredrickson. What can I do for you tonight?”
Ralph was his usual animated self. He began talking a mile a minute.
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