by Dustin Brady
Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Acknowledgements
CHAPTER ONE Stupid on the Internet
CHAPTER TWO The Magic Magic Eight Ball
CHAPTER THREE Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
CHAPTER FOUR Mickey Mouse
CHAPTER FIVE Magical Treetop Hideout
CHAPTER SIX An Ocean of Doo-Doo
CHAPTER SEVEN Junk City
CHAPTER EIGHT Superhero for a Day
CHAPTER NINE Grandma Murray
CHAPTER TEN Don't Be a Baby
CHAPTER ELEVEN Clunk
CHAPTER TWELVE The Beehive
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Emergency Exit
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Patton
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Code Orange
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Reply Hazy
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Ben Franklin's Kite
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Be Super
Thank You
Other Books by Dustin Brady
Sneak Peek
About the Author
Superhero for a Day: The Magic Magic Eight Ball
Dustin Brady
Copyright © 2016 Dustin Brady
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 1537238175
ISBN-13: 978-1537238173
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Special thanks to Jesse Brady for the cover and interior illustrations. You can check out more of Jesse’s sweet artwork on Instagram: @jessnetic.
CHAPTER ONE
Stupid on the Internet
“There’s nothing wrong with crying if it hurts.”
“It doesn’t hurt, so why would I cry?”
It did hurt. Very much. But Jared Foreman was determined not to show pain on video.
“Just a few more seconds. You can do it, buddy.”
Kodey Kline, the kid behind the camera, was not Jared’s buddy. Kodey was in sixth grade like Jared, but he had the chin hair of a high schooler. In James Ford Rhodes Middle School, that was enough to make him a man among boys. Kodey mostly used his power to get people to do dumb things that he could then record and post online. He was the one who had challenged Jared to this particular feat of strength — attempting the splits while people stacked books in his arms.
“Five! Four! Three! Two! One!” Kodey led the small crowd surrounding Jared in a countdown. “Woohoo! You did it buddy!” He tussled Jared’s hair and walked away.
“Hey!” Jared yelled. “Someone get these books!”
Although a few people stuck around to stare and snicker, nobody came to get the books. Finally, Jared had no choice but to tip over and let the books fall everywhere. He stood up, wiped himself off and started cleaning up. Another set of hands came to help him.
“Oh,” Jared said when he noticed. “Hey Bre.”
Breanna Burris was the coolest girl in sixth grade, or at least Jared thought so. She wasn’t a “cool” cool girl — she didn’t hang out with the popular crowd or take a million selfies or anything. But she was funny and athletic and always happy and, again, Jared just thought she was the coolest.
“You OK?” she asked.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah for sure.” Jared said, trying to hide the fact that his face had started turning red. “Kodey just told me to — we thought it would be funny if I did the splits while holding a bunch of books. And it was funny! I mean, I haven’t seen the video yet, but I think he’s gonna put it up later…”
“Well I’m glad you’re OK,” Bre said with a smile as she picked up the last book. “Wouldn’t want your pants splitting in half.”
“Hahaha!” Jared overlaughed while she walked away. “No we wouldn’t!” He smiled stupidly in her direction.
“You done fooling around?”
Jared spun around. His cousin, Lenny Patterson, was standing behind him with an impatient look on his face. Jared walked home from school with Lenny every day, and every day Lenny was late for some dumb reason. One day he would be trying to clean a giant ink stain from his pants, another the nurse would be testing him for a concussion after he had hit himself in the head with his own locker, another he would —well, you get the idea. Lenny would be fine waiting this one time.
“I wasn’t fooling around.”
“Yeah, you were too busy looking stupid for the Internet,” Lenny said.
“No, it was funny.”
“For everyone else. I don’t know why you let him do that to you.”
“Do what?” Jared asked. “Kodey’s a friend.”
“Whatever that guy is, he is not your friend. Would a friend leave you with all those books?”
“He didn’t hear me ask for help.”
“And that thing last week, would a real friend dare you to eat a booger? Someone else’s booger? And would a real friend trick you into calling the teacher “mom”? And would a real friend…”
Lenny spent the walk home recounting all the ways in the last month that Kodey had maybe not been a real friend. By the time they reached the park where they split off to their own houses, Jared had had enough.
“You’re just jealous that Bre was hanging out with me.”
Lenny squinted at him. “Just now? For like two seconds?”
“I would say ten to fifteen seconds.”
“Because she felt sorry for you?”
“What? No! Come on. She thought it was funny too.”
Lenny jumped and grabbed a branch above his head. He started swinging himself back and forth “Whatever you’ve gotta tell yourself.”
Jared didn’t know why this conversation was making him so mad, but it was, so he did something to make himself feel better. He pushed Lenny. It wasn’t that hard of a push — it shouldn’t have done anything — but since Lenny was not the most coordinated of sixth graders and since Jared got him on the upswing, Lenny fell directly onto his back and got the wind knocked out of him.
Jared crouched down to check on his cousin. “Are you OK? I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”
This would usually be the time for Lenny to retaliate with a punch to the stomach. Instead, he lay staring at the tree he had just fallen from. “What’s that?”
Jared followed his gaze to a small crevice in the base of the tree. Deep inside, tucked away so that it was only visible to someone lying on the ground, was something that looked round, black and plastic. Jared walked over and reached his hand into the hole until he felt it. Even though it was plastic, it gave him a small zap of static electricity when he touched it.
Jared pulled out the object and examined it. It was a black, oversized billiards eight ball with a small window on the back. Inside the window was a blue triangle that read, “DON’T COUNT ON IT.”
“What’s this?”
“You’ve never seen one of those before?” Lenny said as he sat up. “That’s a magic eight ball.”
“How does it work?”
“There’s a dice thingy inside with different answers on every side. You ask a yes-or-no question, shake the ball real good, and the dice thing floats up to the window with your answer.”
“Oh brother.”
“See if it works. Ask it if Bre just ‘hung out with you’ because she felt sorry for you.”
Jared rolled his eyes.
“Do it.”
Jared sighed, held the magic eight ball to his mouth and asked, “Was Bre just feeling sorry for me?” He shook the ball, waited a second and got his answer.
YES, DEFINITELY
Lenny laughed as he turned toward his house. “Told you. See you tomorrow.”
Jared stood glaring at the eight ball in his hands. “Why would she feel sorry for me? I don’t believe you.”
; He sighed and started walking home. After a few seconds, he glanced back down and stopped dead in his tracks. The magic eight ball had a different message now. One that did not seem to answer a yes-or-no question. One that seemed very, very specific to his particular situation.
BECAUSE YOU LOOKED STUPID ON THE INTERNET
CHAPTER TWO
The Magic Magic Eight Ball
Jared’s heart started pounding. “Who are you talking about?”
BREANNA BURRIS
Oh boy. Ohhhhhhhh boy.
“Lenny! LENNY!!” Lenny was already out of earshot. Jared suddenly became aware of the empty park around him. Had anyone else seen? He stuffed the magic eight ball into his book bag and ran home. His mom caught him as he burst through the door.
“Hey hon, how was school?”
“Fine! Good! Great!” He ran past the snack on the table and up to his room.
“Hey!” Jared’s mom called up to him. “What’s wrong with you?”
Jared didn’t even turn around as he ran up the stairs. “Lotta homework tonight, Mom! LOTTA homework!”
As soon as he closed the door, he tore open his book bag and started firing questions at the magic eight ball.
“When is my birthday?”
JANUARY 4
“What time is it now?”
3:37 P.M.
“What will the weather be tomorrow?”
PARTLY SUNNY WITH A STRONG THUNDERSTORM AT 3:10 P.M.
“Who will win the World Series this year?”
CLEVELAND INDIANS
Jared got an idea. He opened his math workbook and turned to the day’s assignment.
“What’s the answer to question 1?”
3 3/8 INCHES
Question 2?
2.7 KILOMETERS
Within two minutes, Jared had finished all his homework. He picked up the phone and called Lenny.
“Lenny! You’ve got to come over now!”
“What’s wrong? Why are you out of breath?”
“You know that eight ball we found?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s magic!”
“Uh, yeah. It’s called a magic eight ball.”
“NO!” Jared was now screaming into the phone and hyperventilating at the same time. “IT’S A MAGIC MAGIC EIGHT BALL!”
“I don’t understand.”
“IT KNOWS EVERYTHING! Just come now!”
Lenny sighed. “Did your mom buy more of those peanut butter-stuffed pretzels?”
“What?!”
“Do you guys have those peanut butter-stuffed pretzels I like?”
“That’s not important right now!”
“It is important, because I’m only coming over if I can eat peanut butter-stuffed pretzels.”
“DO WE HAVE PEANUT BUTTER-STUFFED PRETZELS?!” Jared asked the eight ball.
YES. THAT WAS YOUR SNACK.
“They’re on the table. NOW COME!”
“On my way.” Lenny hung up.
Jared held the eight ball up to his face. It felt like he had some sort of superpower. He got right to work using it. A few minutes later, he heard the front door open.
“Hi Aunt Mary!” It was Lenny. “Oooooh, are these peanut butter-stuffed pretzels? Are you sure? Thank you!” Lenny walked into Jared’s bedroom with a bowl of peanut butter pretzel pillows.
“OK,” he said with a full mouth. “Let’s see it.”
Jared held out a deck of cards. “Think of one.”
“I thought you were…”
“Just think of a card!”
“OK, got it.”
“What is it?”
“Six of hearts.”
“Reach into the bottom of your bowl.”
Lenny dug around in the bowl and pulled out a six of hearts. Jared waited for his jaw to drop to the floor. It did not.
“Uh, OK. You do magic now? I thought you said the eight ball was magic.”
“Think of another card.”
“Okay, but…”
“You were thinking of the five of diamonds.”
“What are you…”
“Think of another one.”
“How did you…”
“King of spades. Think of another.”
“Jared…”
“Seven of clubs. Do another.”
“JARED!”
“What?”
Lenny had gone a little pale. “What is going on?”
Jared smiled. “Was I right?”
“Yes. Every time. How are you doing that?”
Jared held up the magic eight ball. “I asked it before you came over.”
“What do you mean you asked it?”
“I mean I asked what cards you would think of when you walked in here, then I hid the first one in the pretzels.”
“But that’s just a toy. It doesn’t answer real questions.”
“What color underwear are you wearing today, Lenny?”
“I’m not answering that!”
Jared showed the eight ball to Lenny.
GREEN WITH BROWN BEARS
Lenny turned red. “For your information, they’re ninja bears!”
“I don’t know how it knows, but it knows everything.”
“I want to try! I’m the one who found it anyways.” Lenny grabbed the eight ball. “What is 47 times 38?”
VERY DOUBTFUL
“Give me that.” Jared took the eight ball back. “What is 47 times 38?”
1,786
“Why is it only working for you?”
“Who knows.”
“And why does it work in the first place?”
“Who knows.”
“And shouldn’t we tell someone about it?”
“You want to risk getting it taken away?”
Lenny shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean it’s not ours, right?”
“And who does it belong to then? An elf? It was inside a tree.”
“Ask it.”
“What? No.”
“It knows everything, right? Ask it who it belongs to.”
Jared huffed and mumbled, “Who do you belong to?”
He shook the eight ball, looked at the answer and gasped. He showed it to Lenny. There was the jaw hitting the floor reaction Jared had been expecting all along.
JARED FOREMAN
CHAPTER THREE
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
“It’s mine! It’s mine it’s mine it’s mine it’s mine!” Jared did the magic eight ball dance around his room — a dance that consisted mostly of hideous disco moves.
“What are you going to do with it?” Lenny asked.
“I have some ideas. Let’s go!” Jared started walking out the door.
“Wait,” Lenny said. “How long are we going to be? I’ve got to study for tomorrow.”
Jared rolled his eyes. “Really? Are you really going to be like this?” He held up the eight ball. “Is Mrs. Harness going to cancel the history quiz tomorrow?”
YES
“See? She always cancels quizzes on Friday. Now let’s go!”
Lenny shrugged and followed Jared downstairs. Jared’s mom caught them on their way out the door. “Where are you two off to? I was just starting dinner.”
“We’re going to the library to work on a big history project,” Jared said without breaking stride. “We’ll eat at Lenny’s.”
Jared’s mom gave them a weird look. Lenny avoided eye contact.
“OK, just be home at a reasonable hour.”
“For sure Aunt Mary, we…” Jared grabbed Lenny by the collar and led him out the door before he could blow it. The cousins hopped onto their bikes, and Jared led the way right past the library to the carnival that was in town for the weekend. They locked up their bikes and wandered to the midway, which was just gearing up for the night with flashing lights and goldfish in bags and funnel cakes as far as the eye could see. “You ready to win some gigantic stuffed bears?” Jared asked.
Lenny shrugged. “We need tickets to play the games, right? I
didn’t bring any money to buy tickets.”
“We don’t need money when we have this.” Jared held up the magic eight ball. He smiled and whispered to the eight ball, “Where can we find a ticket that somebody dropped?”
LAST PORTA-POTTY ON THE RIGHT
Jared and Lenny walked down the long line of porta-potties and opened the green one at the end. Sure enough, underneath a piece of toilet paper in the corner was a crumpled, red ticket. Lenny wrinkled his nose, but Jared picked it up. “Where else?”
Underneath the Ferris wheel. Inside the funhouse. A bunch in the parking lot. Within 15 minutes, Jared and Lenny had found $50 in forgotten tickets. By the time they had uncovered the last ticket from a glob of nacho cheese, Lenny was all in. “Where to first?!”
“There.” Jared pointed to a green stuffed gorilla the size of a Great Dane. It was hanging over ring toss — the game where you have to throw a small ring over the mouth of a glass bottle.
“That game’s impossible,” Lenny said.
Jared wiggled his eyebrows. “We’ll find out.”
The ring toss guy, who looked like he’d spent too many years running this game and had maybe slept in the ring toss booth last night, sprang to life when Jared walked up. “Thereyago young man, thereyago, fifty rings for just five tickets, fifffty rings, put a ring on any bottle and win any prize, any prize you see here, step right up, step right up, step right up.”
Jared forked over five tickets, making sure to get rid of the gross porta-potty one first. After getting his bucket of rings, he stared at the sea of bottles in front of him. How would this work with the guy right there? Just then, a high school couple walked by, and the ring toss guy got distracted. “Ohhhhhh, she has her eye on a stuffed dog, did you see that young man? Did you see it? Win her love by winning man’s best friend, just five tickets for fifty rings, five tickets for fiffffffty…”
While he was making his sales pitch, Jared broke out the magic eight ball. “Where should I aim?”
BETWEEN THE BLUE GORILLA’S EYES
Jared looked at Lenny and shrugged. Instead of aiming for one of the bottles in front of him, Jared located the blue stuffed gorilla hanging ten feet above the game. He closed one eye, squinted with the other and tossed his ring between the big ape’s eyes.