by Smoak, Ivy
"Ew, Daphne," Tim said. "You should really shower first. You don't want all your dirty germs in the public pool."
This resort was pretty sleazy. I was almost positive that there was a lot worse than my germs in the pools here. "I took a shower last night." Asshole.
"Well, you look like you need another."
Rude. Tim was being way more obnoxious than usual.
"Tim," Kristen hissed. "Why are you being so mean?"
"I just think she could use a nice shower and probably a different swimsuit. Or like, a short dress or something to show off her legs. And some makeup. Girl, put some mascara on."
I laughed. "Okay. I take fashion advice from your girlfriend, not you, Tim. But thanks, I'll take that into consideration. I'm going to go for a swim while you guys catch up."
"Daphne, you don't have to go," Alina said.
"No, go," Tim said. "But at least put a comb through your hair first."
Kristen slapped his arm.
"I'm just trying to help. You should go for a nice long walk to think about everything you've done, young lady," Tim said.
"Okay," I said slowly. "Kristen, Tim's completely lost it. You might want to look into that."
Kristen was just staring at Tim like he was an alien.
I quickly pulled on a pair of shorts and a shirt over my bathing suit. "Yep, I'll see you guys later." I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. What the hell was that?
Chapter 38
Daphne
I sat down on one of the pool chairs to dry off. My heart was still beating fast from my laps, but I could tell it accelerated even more when I reached for my phone. Please have called. Please.
But my screen was blank. I sighed. Maybe he was tired after their flight home last night. It was possible that he was still asleep. It was even possible that I had the wrong number. There was also a time difference between Costa Rica and the east coast! For a fleeting second I let myself get my hopes up, before remembering that Costa Rica was two hours behind, which meant it was even later in New York. It was almost 11 o'clock there. I hadn't slept in that late in ages. But Rob had a different lifestyle than me. He was probably just sleeping still.
Nothing I said truly convinced me, though. The realization that I was never going to hear from him again was slowly dawning on me. One weekend was exactly what I didn't want, and I'm the one that turned it into that. I closed my eyes. I could still picture being back on campus at the University of New Castle and watching him run by while I pretended to study. Even though I had been depressed, I still noticed him. Seeing him almost gave me a little hope. I let myself have a crush on him, knowing that there were no consequences to that. There was no sense of loss if you never had the courage to talk to someone in the first place. When he showed up here, it felt like my second chance. Now I had blown that too. People didn't get third chances.
I thought about what Tim had said. He told me to take a walk to think about what I had done, like I was a little kid who had broken something. I shook my head. Yes, Tim was strange, but I had messed up. Maybe a walk would help. I stood up and pulled my shorts and shirt back on. The fabric clung awkwardly to my wet bathing suit, but I didn't care. I made my way toward the trail.
I went for so many walks after Derek had died. I'd just walk around Newark until I ended up at some place that reminded me of him. It was like my feet had a mind of their own. For the first time in a long time, I could honestly say I wasn't upset about Derek. It was weird being in the rainforest. It seemed so peaceful. And the humidity almost hugged me, making me feel safe. Derek was gone. It wasn't my fault. There was nothing I could do about it, except remember all the good times. I touched the bracelet on my wrist. Maybe I should have left it on the forest ground. Maybe I could leave a little piece of him here. I think he would have wanted that. But for some reason, I couldn't do it. I didn't want to forget.
A piece of jewelry didn't remind me of him, though. I was holding onto a trinket that meant nothing. My fingers fumbled with the clasp and the bracelet fell onto my opposite palm. It had been more of a shackle if anything. I was done living with regrets. I was done feeling like I couldn't move forward. But still, I couldn't let go. I gripped the bracelet tightly in my fist and continued walking.
I wasn't at all surprised when I realized I was on the path that lead to the waterfall. I wished I could say I was going there to say goodbye and move on. But it was the opposite. I wanted something to hold onto. I wanted to remember Rob's hands on me beneath the cascading water. I wanted to remember how sexy he looked when he caught me staring at him after our fight. I wanted to remember how desired he made me feel. I didn't want to move on. Not from this. Not from him. I wanted him.
When I reached the waterfall, I stopped. My past wasn't going to ruin my future anymore. I wouldn't let it. And I wasn't going to ruin this place with memories that didn't belong here. I took a deep breath and threw the bracelet in the opposite direction of the waterfall. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
"Are you going to make me go find that again?"
A huge smile spread across my face. I must have looked like a crazy person when I turned around. "You're here."
"I'm here." Rob smiled.
God I loved that smile. "What are you doing here?"
"It's my waterfall."
I laughed. "It's not yours. You can't own something in the middle of the rainforest."
"Especially when a beautiful woman keeps showing up. Maybe that makes it ours."
Ours? I hated the distance between us. I wanted to run into his arms and kiss every inch of his perfect face. "So, you got my voicemails?"
"Voicemails?"
Oh my God. He hadn't heard my crazy voicemails? If he did, he'd probably be running in the opposite direction of me. "Well, since you're here, you don't really need to listen to them. Actually, if you hand me your phone I can just delete them for you."
An even bigger smile spread across his face with each word I spoke. "Oh, now that I'm thinking about it, I did get those voicemails. I don't know why your hands aren't all over me if you're in love with me, Daphne."
"Why didn't you pick up your phone?" I could feel my face turning red. Maybe if I just avoided talking about my confession of loving him, he'd let it go.
"I was on a plane. I didn't get your messages until I landed back in Costa Rica."
"Back in Costa Rica? You were already on your way back?"
"My brother can be super annoying sometimes."
"What, did he force you onto the plane?"
Rob smiled. "No. He just made me realize that if I didn't give this a shot, I'd regret it for my whole life. I don't want to regret anything."
"Me either."
"So you love me, huh?" His smile was playful.
Of course he didn't let it go. "I'm not in love with you, Rob."
"In your idea of the definition, surely not. But what about mine?"
"Passion?"
"Yes, passion."
I knew he was right. And looking into his eyes, I knew he had the same passion for me as I had for him. "Maybe in that sense, I am a little in love with you."
"Just a little? I kind of remember our passion a little differently." He grabbed his shirt by the nape of its collar and pulled it over his head.
It was hard not to lose my voice at the sight of him. Especially when he started to unhinge his belt. "Does that mean you're in love with me?" My heart was beating fast as I watched him mull it over.
"Honestly, I don't know, Daphne."
Oh. I bit my bottom lip.
"All I know is that I can't stop thinking about you. When I close my eyes I see the green of yours. My fingers itch to feel the curve of your hips. All I want is to taste you again. And I love the way your face flushes when I talk to you. I don't really know what love is. I was kind of hoping we could figure out the whole love thing together." He pulled his belt out of the loops, tossed it on the ground, and unbuttoned his shorts.
/> "By skinny dipping?"
He smiled. "No. Well, partially. You said you didn't want to do it alone, Daphne. You said you wanted me. Well, I want you too. So I'm going to show you how to live by showering under a waterfall like humans are meant to do." He shoved his shorts and boxers to the ground, revealing his huge erection. "And by fucking. I should probably put that out there. Because if you're naked, there's no way I'm not fucking you. Come and get me, beautiful." He turned around and dove head first into the pool of water.
I just stood there and watched him as his head bobbed on the surface of the water.
"What are you waiting for?!" he yelled over the sound of the cascading water.
What am I waiting for? I grabbed my shirt and pulled it off over my head. I quickly unbuttoned my shorts and pushed them down my hips, leaving me in only my one-piece bathing suit. But then I paused. I had never been skinny dipping in my life. I looked over my shoulder to see if there were any passersby.
"All of it, Daphne."
How was I ever supposed to fall in love if I was scared of giving all of myself to someone? I wanted to give myself to Rob. And I wanted him to give himself to me. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore my hands shaking as I pulled the straps down my shoulders.
"Stop."
I opened my eyes, embarrassed that I was making this such a big deal. But I had only had sex in the dark under sheets before. At least until yesterday with him, but I hadn't taken off my shirt.
"Keep it on. I like it."
I smiled. No one liked my one-piece bathing suit. He was more patient that he realized he was. Patience and passion. Really, what was I waiting for? I ran onto the rocks and leapt into the air. I landed in the water with a splash beside him.
When I came up for air I thought he'd be right there, but he was swimming toward the waterfall. I swam after him, taking a deep breath and going under the cascading water.
"Hey." He grabbed my arm, pulling me toward him as soon as I was on the other side.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, very aware of his hardness pressed against me. "Hey."
His wet hand went through my hair. "I'm sorry that I left."
I shook my head and pressed my forehead against his. "I'm sorry that I pushed you away."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. Not here." I pressed my palms against the muscles of his back. "Not right now."
"Hmm." He kissed my cheek and then the side of my neck. His breath was warm against my skin.
I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to shower under the waterfall. I just wanted him inside of me again. Instead, I heard the click of a bottle opening in the darkness and then his scent was suddenly stronger. "We're really going to shower?"
"Was something else on your mind?" Before I could answer, his fingertips were massaging my scalp. His soapy fingers wandered through the length of my hair. He grabbed the ends of my hair and gently pulled, tilting my head back. His fingers once again found my scalp and slowly massaged me. All I could smell was him. And for some reason, the idea that I was covered in the same alluring scent turned me on even more. He gently tugged my hair again.
I moaned and tilted my hips, pressing myself against his erection.
He took a step forward, letting the water cascade down onto my soapy head as his lips met mine. It was different than it had been before. Maybe it was just in my head, but his kisses seemed seductive and sensual. There was no sense of urgency anymore, just passion. I could barely breathe under the water, but it felt like his kisses were enough, like they were the only sustenance I needed.
He pulled us out from under the waterfall again. I could hear him panting as he left a trail of kisses down the side of my neck and across my clavicle. His lips stopped at the straps of my bathing suit and he traced the fabric with his fingers. "May I?"
"Yes."
He slowly pushed both straps down my shoulders. He pulled the fabric down and I felt the cold water against my naked breasts. I pulled my arms out the rest of the way so that my bathing suit just hung around my waist.
He poured more soap into his hands and started to slowly massage my shoulders. He took his time, torturing and pleasing me at the same time. It actually felt like he was washing away my problems. It was the most erotic and most relaxing thing I had ever done. When he finally reached my breasts he groaned.
In the darkness we could barely see each other. But it seemed to heighten the sensation of touch. Because when his fingertips reached my nipples I moaned too. "I think I'm clean enough."
"I'm not done." He took a step forward under the waterfall to rinse away the soap. He seemed to be paying extra attention to making sure my breasts didn't have any soap on them. His palms gently massaged them as his fingers slowly rolled my nipples.
"I don't care." I gripped the back of his hair. "I need you, Rob."
"You need me?" He leaned forward. "Like this?" His tongue swirled around one of my nipples as his free hand grabbed my ass.
Oh God. "Yes."
He lightly bit down on my nipple and tugged.
I gripped the back of his hair tighter, begging him not to move.
He continued to tease my nipples as his other hand slid down my ass. He pushed the bottom of my bathing suit aside as his fingers found my slit.
I tilted my head back, letting the water fall all over me as his finger slowly entered me. The swirls of his tongue around my nipples matched the teasing of his finger. His mouth moved to my other breast, loving it the same way. He thrust his finger deep inside of me as his teeth gently bit my soft flesh.
"Fuck me," I moaned. I thought my moans were drowned by the water, but a second later he pulled me out from under the waterfall.
"Not yet. If I don't taste you again, I'm going to lose my mind." He grabbed my waist and lifted me onto one of the nearby rocks.
I tilted my hips as he pulled my bathing suit the rest of the way off. And there I was, completely naked with my thighs wide apart, waiting for him. I knew he could see me now. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I could see his sleek muscles and his wet hair. I was about to press my thighs together, but he grabbed my knees.
"Now this is the most beautiful sight in the world."
There was no way he actually meant that, but before I had time to protest, he placed a long slow stroke against my aching pussy. He groaned like it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted and thrust his tongue deep inside of me.
Holy shit. I tilted my head against the rock wall behind me.
He slowly slid his hands up until they reached the apex of my thighs. He gently pushed, spreading my thighs even farther apart and giving him better access. Only one of my past boyfriends had done this. But it wasn't like this. I could tell he hadn't liked it, which just made me self conscious. But Rob? He was devouring me. He reached up with one hand and massaged my breast.
Oh God. I wasn't sure how long I could take this. As if he knew it, he rubbed his nose against my clit and I completely lost control. I felt both of his hands keeping my thighs spread wide for him as he lapped up my juices. Finally my heartbeat slowed and Rob kissed my stomach. He pulled me back down into the water.
If the sound of the waterfall hadn't surrounded us, he would have been able to hear my panting. "That was amazing."
He kissed the tip of my nose. "A body like yours should be worshipped."
I laughed. "Is that what you tell all the girls?"
"No. Just you."
Just me.
"I've also never worked so hard to get someone to like me. Or come back when someone completely wrote me off."
"I already liked you. I mean, I didn't really know you, but I had such a big crush on you when I was at school. I used to always read at the same time so that I could see you run."
Rob laughed.
"I know, that's incredibly lame, I just..."
"No." He touched the side of my face. "I used to run at the same time every day so that I could see you reading."
I swall
owed hard. "It seems crazy that we met here, don't you think?"
"Don't you believe in fate, Daphne?"
"I think I do now."
Rob smiled.
I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck. "I want you."
"Baby, you just had me."
"No, I mean," I nodded toward his penis.
"I have to admit, I'm a little sick of fucking," he said.
"Oh." I laughed awkwardly. "Right, well, we can get back to the resort." I tried to unwrap my legs from around his waist, but he held me firmly in place.
"I have no desire to go back to the resort. I just think something slower paced might be better, don't you? Since we're both kind of maybe trying to figure out what this love thing is all about?"
"This love thing?" I tried to raise my eyebrow like he did, but to no avail.
He laughed and smoothed my brow with his finger. "Mhm." He grabbed a condom from somewhere behind me.
"How did you know I was coming here?"
"I just had a feeling."
He ripped the condom open with his teeth.
Everything he did was so sexy. I put my hands on either side of his face.
He stared back at me as he grabbed the condom from the wrapper. "We don't have to, if you're not ready."
"Not ready?" I smiled. "No, I just...I feel like I can find myself in you. I feel like maybe you can make me whole again."
He laughed.
I swallowed hard. "I mean...."
"No." He smiled and put his fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry. But I'm literally about to find myself in you right now."
"You're incredibly immature."
"And yet, here we are." He handed me the condom. There was a challenging look in his eyes.
"Maybe you can work on finding yourself in me in more of a spiritual sense too?" I said as I rolled the condom onto his erection.
"Everything feels pretty spiritual with you, Daphne." He pressed my back against the rock wall behind us. "Why do you think I came back?"