Chapter 9
Jen awoke with the sun on her face. It shone brightly through her window and she shielded her eyes as she rolled onto her other side. Her eyes hurt from the night of crying and she had a slight headache. Inhaling deeply, she caught the scent of the t-shirt she was wearing. The smell was so familiar and comforting that for the briefest moment, she thought she’d turn to find Zack lying next to her. She closed her eyes and basked in the thought and in the reassurance it brought her. After a few moments she got up and got dressed. Her phone beeped and she looked at it; five missed calls from Bianca and seven text messages. She also had three voice mails from Annie she hadn’t yet listened to. She scrolled through Bianca’s texts:
Hey just wondering if you’re alright. Give me a call.
Hey, what ever happened with Luke?
I was thinking next time we try a different club. I’m determined to give you a good time. Call me!
Jen didn’t bother answering her; she would catch up with Bianca later. She made her way into the kitchen but didn’t see her father. She found him in his office.
“Good morning Daddy. Aren’t you going to work today?” she asked, sitting in the overstuffed chair across from him.
“I just have a few things here I have to catch up on. I have to be in court this afternoon. How was your night?
Jen sighed. “Not what I expected.”
“Is everything alright?”
Jen shook her head as the tears sprang to her eyes. She covered her face with her hands not wanting her father to see.
Roger quickly made his way around the desk and pulled a chair up next to her. “Jenny, honey, what’s wrong?”
Jen waited until she was able to trust her voice before she spoke. “Oh Daddy, I’m such a mess. I miss Zack so much it hurts. And last night was… it was just awful. I saw him in every man there, compared him to everyone. I’ve made a terrible mistake. I have to talk to him. I need to talk to him.” She covered her face again as another wave of sobs went through her.
Roger said nothing, but put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Dealing with emotions had never been his strong suit and Jen knew this must be uncomfortable for him. He handed her a box of tissues and waited, sensing she had more to say.
When she looked up at him, his eyes were searching hers. “You know I don’t like to get into your personal life,” he said slowly. “But, what happened between you? Did you break up with him?”
Jen sniffed loudly and wiped her nose. “He…” She stopped and took a few steadying breaths. “He asked me to marry him and I…” She blew her nose. “I said no. He said that he believed in marriage and wanted kids and a house with a white picket fence; I mean the whole nine yards Dad. And…”
“Why?” The surprise in Roger’s voice was evident. “Why did you say no?”
Jen blinked. “Well, we’re still so young. We hadn’t even been dating a year when he asked me and we’d only been living together for a few months.”
Roger looked at her with skepticism.
“I’m not sure I even believe in marriage at all,” Jen defended herself.
Roger waved a dismissive hand at her. “That’s bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, bullshit. This isn’t about you believing in marriage or not believing in marriage, this about you dealing with your own insecurities and fear.”
Jen stared at him, her mouth hanging open in surprise.
“You’re afraid of marriage and its commitment,” he said pointing at her.
“I thought you didn’t believe in marriage either,” Jen retorted a little too loudly.
Roger made a scoffing sound. “What in the world gave you that impression?”
“Um, I don’t know. The fact that you were married FIVE times maybe,” Jen said sarcastically.
“Exactly. I was married five times. Why would a guy who doesn’t believe in marriage get married five times?”
Jen was speechless; she had always assumed her father felt the same way she did on the subject. “I guess, I just thought you wouldn’t have a very high opinion of it since it hadn’t really worked out for you.”
Roger exhaled and leaned back in his chair. “Jenny, I was married five times because I do believe in marriage. I was divorced five times because, in case you hadn’t realized, I’m not the easiest person to love.”
Jen smiled and chuckled a little through her tears.
“I’m a hardass, and I’m inconsiderate. Those women all left me because I didn’t give them what they needed. I’m not a good husband. I’m a good boyfriend…” He shook his finger at her. “But I’m not a good husband.”
“You spoiled them rotten,” Jen observed. “I mean, spas and trips and cars and…”
“Never time, or love or devotion,” Roger finished.
Jen’s eyebrows furrowed. She had never talked to her dad about his relationships. She’d always assumed it was the women who’d had the problems, not him. This was an entirely new side to the story.
“Don’t blame the institution of marriage for the many divorces in this country,” Roger went on. “Blame the people! The idea of marriage is a good one. Commitment, love, family, like Zack is saying, that’s what happiness is. He’s offering to give you that.”
“I thought you didn’t like him?”
“I’m not supposed to like him. It’s not my job to like him,” Roger said gruffly. “How many of your boyfriends have I liked?”
Jen laughed. “None, now that I think about it.”
“Zack is a good man. I knew that the minute I met him. I didn’t like him because he took you away from me but he also gave you a reason to stand on your own two feet. He helped you see the world differently and taught you how to love to a greater degree than I ever could. I understand that my failed marriages have tainted your view of relationships but honey…” He leaned forward and held her hand. “Don’t let my mistakes become yours. You love Zack and he loves you. And I have no doubt that he will honor and cherish you for as long as you live.”
Jen sniffed as new tears fell down her cheeks.
“What you really need to ask yourself is, are you willing to let him go? Because, he will go on and get married, he will have children and he will build that life with someone else. Are you willing to sit back and let him do that just because you’re too scared to try?”
Jen looked at her father’s eyes, the reality of what he was saying seeping deep within her. She finally shook her head
“Well then,” Roger said softly. “What are you waiting for?”
Jen grinned and then laughed. She threw her arms around her dad and hugged him tightly. “I love you so much Daddy!” she whispered.
“I love you too Jenny,” he replied as he held her.
She pulled back just enough to kiss him on the cheek before she sprang out the door and into her room to pack her things. She threw all her clothes and belongings in her suitcase with lightening speed, not bothering to organize or fold anything. She got online and bought a ticket to Boston and then called a cab service and told them to be there in ten minutes.
By the time she walked into the living room Roger was there waiting for her. “Do you need anything?” he asked.
“No, I think I’ve got everything,” Jen said, a little out of breath.
“You have money?”
“Yes.”
“You have your purse and I.D. and everything?”
“Yes.”
“Looks like you’re ready to go.” He smiled at her and his eyes twinkled.
Jen exhaled, her heart was racing but she suddenly felt bad for leaving her Father alone again. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Of course, don’t worry about me.”
“I hate that you’re here all by yourself,” she said softly.
He shrugged. “Maybe I’ll follow your example and get married again.”
That made Jen laugh. “Sixth time’s a charm eh?”
He was laughing to
o. “You never know.”
Jen reached for his hand. “You’re a good man Daddy.”
“That’s nice of you to say.”
“I’m a lucky girl to have a father like you.” She hugged him tightly and when she pulled back she could have sworn he wiped a tear from his eye, although she couldn’t be sure.
“I want nothing more in this world than for you to be happy,” he told her, smiling.
“I know.”
“And remember, anything that is worth having…”
“Is worth the risk of getting,” Jen finished for him. She knew that motto well.
He nodded. “You better not keep the taxi waiting.”
The two of them went down to the street together and Roger gave the taxi driver her suitcase. “Let me know when you get everything all sorted out.”
“I will.” Jen breathed in deep. “I’m so nervous Dad, what if he won’t take me back?”
Roger shook his head. “He’ll take you back. Don’t worry about that.”
Jen gave her father one last hug before opening the taxi door, but turned when her father spoke again.
“If you tell Zack I like him, or that I said anything nice about him, I’ll most emphatically deny it.” His voice had reverted back to the gruff, lawyer tone she knew so well.
Jen tried to suppress the grin that threatened to spread across her face. “Fair enough.” She got into the cab and it pulled away. As they headed toward the airport she tried to steady her breathing. The drive seemed unusually long and Jen nervously chewed on her fingernails until they reached their destination. She grabbed her bag, paid the driver and hurried to security. It wasn’t until she was seated and waiting for take-off that she started to relax but it was short lived.
Her mind began to race with scenarios. She imagined showing up at Zack’s apartment, only to find another woman there. What would she do! She quickly dismissed the thought, knowing Zack wasn’t that type. Her next fear came in the thought of him turning her down flat. I wouldn’t blame him, she thought. He would have every right to not ever want to see me again. As painful as that thought was, it was less painful than the thought of him already having found someone else. She picked up her phone. I should call him. I should at least make sure he’s at the apartment. He’s probably at the hospital – would he even see that I called? I could page him, but he’s so busy. Would he be able to take the time to call me if I did? It’s more romantic if I just show up. But I don’t want to spring this on him…
When the pilot finally announced their descent into Boston, Jen had made up her mind to surprise Zack. She wanted see the expression on his face when he saw her. She wanted to look into his eyes and see whether he was happy, surprised, angry, hurt, or just plain annoyed to see her. Whatever the emotion, she wanted it to be real and genuine – without him having time to think about it. She got off the plane quickly, picked up her luggage and ran to the front to get a cab. She told the driver the address to the apartment and then sat back and let the butterflies in her stomach consume her. She took deep breaths. Anything worth having is worth the risk of getting, she chanted to herself over and over as the cab got closer and closer to their apartment.
When the driver announced they had reached their destination, Jen quickly paid him and unloaded her suitcase. She went up the stairs but stopped outside the door. She tried to mentally prepare herself for whatever she would see. She knew the chance of Zack being home at this time of day was slim but she still had to try. She knocked once, no answer. She knocked again, still no answer. She searched for the key under the mat. Inserting it, she was just about to turn the knob when the door opened. Jen jumped back, startled, her heart racing, mind whirling. There was a figure standing before her but it wasn’t Zack.
Chapter 10
Jen stared, taken aback. She had no idea who the shirtless man standing before her was. However, the fact that it was a man was a relief!
“Who are you?” she asked cautiously.
The man ran his fingers through his shaggy, sandy hair. She had clearly awoken him. “I’m Jeremy,” he yawned. “Who are you?”
Jen felt a flood of relief. “Jeremy? Zack’s friend from the hospital Jeremy?”
“The one and only.” He smiled sleepily at her.
“Oh I’m Jen,” she said, holding out her hand.
He shook it slowly. “Zack’s ex girl, Jen?”
“The one and only.” She faked a smile, not really liking how he said ex girl. “Is Zack here?” she asked, looking past him into the apartment.
“Uh no, he’s at the hospital today.”
Jen nodded. “If you don’t mind me asking, are you living here now?”
“No, well kind of. My apartment had an outbreak of lice so I asked Zack if I could bunk with him for a few days.”
Jen’s eyes widened. “Lice?”
“Yeah like the little bugs, ya know?”
“That’s gross,” she said after a moment of silence.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Okay well, I have to go.” She quickly placed her suitcase inside the door. “I’ll be back to get this,” she informed him. She turned and headed back down the stairs; stopping, she turned back to Jeremy. “It was nice to meet you and I’m sorry about your…” She gestured to her hair. “Your lice,” she said finally, feeling awkward.
“Thanks,” Jeremy said, waved and went back inside.
Jen bounded down the rest of the steps. Stopping on the road, she quickly calculated whether it would be faster to hail a cab or just run to the hospital. Judging by the traffic she decided to run. She had always enjoyed running but today her heart was already beating quickly, making it harder to breathe. Dodging people, she sprinted down the sidewalk in the early August heat, able to make the four blocks to the hospital in record time. Sweat was forming rapidly on her face as she walked into the hospital. She looked around, trying to get her bearings. She’d been to the hospital a few times but Zack was never in just one place. She made it to the floor she thought he’d be on and asked a nurse if she could page Zack LaFaye. The nurse seemed annoyed as she put her paperwork down and picked up the phone.
“Zack LaFaye?” she asked again without looking up.
“Yes please,” Jen said, trying to slow her breathing. She wiped the sweat off her brow, trying not to think of what she must look like.
“He’ll be just a minute,” the nurse told her.
Jen thanked her and found a chair to sit down. A full ten minutes later a man in a white coat approached her.
“You’re looking for Zack?” he asked hurriedly.
Jen stood. “Yes, I was told he was here today.”
The man nodded. “He was supposed to work. I took his shift. Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Wait, so you’re saying he isn’t here?” Jen was confused.
“No miss, I’m sorry.”
“Do you know where he went?” Jen was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. The one time she needed him to be here and he wasn’t! Just her luck!
The man made a face as if trying to remember. “He said something about going home to help out an aunt of his. I didn’t really get any particulars. Is there an emergency?”
Jen rubbed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair. “No, there’s no emergency. Thanks for your help.” She walked away briskly, heading as fast as possible back to their apartment. She had just booked a flight on her phone when she knocked once again on the door. Jeremy answered it; this time he was dressed but his hair was still uncombed.
“Hey, you’re back.”
“Just long enough to grab my bag,” Jen told him. She reached in the door and grabbed her suitcase.
“Did you find Zack?” he asked.
“Nope, but I will.” She didn’t look at him as she left but was sure she heard him mumble something about ex girlfriends never leaving well enough alone. Ignoring him, she raced away from the building, quickly got a cab headed to the airport. By now it was almost two o’clock in t
he afternoon. She cursed silently, knowing that by the time she got to Aunt Gabby’s it would be close to seven. She shook that away, she didn’t care what it took. She was going to see Zack today; she had to!
Several hours later she was in a cab, on her way to Aunt Gabby’s house. Her leg jiggled nervously as she watched the outside world whiz by her. She couldn’t believe all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. It felt like a dream. Her eyes felt heavy but she knew she’d never be able to sleep until she saw Zack. When the car finally pulled into Aunt Gabby’s driveway Jen was out in a flash. She choked on the muggy air as she hauled her bag to the front door. She knocked once and went inside.
“Aunt Gabby! Aunt Gabby!” She walked to the back door and peered outside, Aunt Gabby was on her hands and knees, gardening as usual. Jen opened the door and bounded down the three steps.
“Aunt Gabby!”
The old lady jumped slightly and turned, looking startled. “Oh my goodness child!” She stood and held her hand to her chest. “I wasn’t expecting you!” She gave Jen a hug before adding, “You nearly gave your old aunt a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry Aunt Gabby. And I’m sorry for showing up unannounced but, I’m looking for Zack.” She shook her head, talking fast as she tried to get everything out in between breaths. “I have to talk to him, I don’t know if you know but we broke up because I was stupid and I have to see him, I have to tell him…”
Love Takes Hold: The Helena's Grove Series Book 3 Page 6