by Ted Hill
“Billy wasn’t even there when that happened,” Molly said. “Where would he have heard about that?”
Mark cleared his throat. “This might be my fault.” He looked at Scout. “Remember when you told me about regretting the way things went down that last morning in Denver. I talked about it with Billy, trying to get a bigger picture.”
“Why?” Scout asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t think it was a big deal or that he would twist it like this. Vanessa is always saying what a little angel he is in school.”
“Great,” Scout said. “So how do we fix this mess?” He grabbed his backpack and rummaged through his first aid kit, setting out his bottle of iodine, a cotton ball and a Band-Aid.
“I’ll go talk to Billy,” Catherine said. “We have a relationship.”
Scout stopped fiddling with the medical supplies and turned. Everyone’s eyebrows were raised in response to the little girl’s statement. Samuel chuckled like he’d just formulated an evil plot to take over the world.
Catherine folded her arms. “You people need to get your minds out of the gutter.”
Scout squirted some red iodine on the cotton ball. He gently removed Raven’s hand that held the washcloth and looked over the cut. “This will sting for a sec.” Scout pressed the cotton against her wound and she didn’t even blink. “Are you okay?”
Raven glanced at him quickly and nodded.
“I’m sorry about all this,” he said.
Raven snatched the Band-Aid out of his hand. “I want to take a look before I cover it up.” She left for their bedroom and closed the door.
“I’ll talk with her,” Molly said. She knocked and asked to enter. Raven’s reply was muffled and Molly stepped inside.
“Have a seat,” Scout offered the group left standing.
“We should get out of here and give you guys some peace,” Mark said. “I’ll go with Catherine to talk to Billy. I want to see if he’s using what I told him to cause all this trouble.”
“But you have your pants on now,” Catherine said with a look of pure innocence. “That’s no fun at all.”
Mark’s face blazed the color of the setting sun. His ears burned even brighter. Catherine giggled and reached for his hand, pulling him out the door and down the stairs.
Samuel drummed his fingers on top of the table. “I’ll go find Dylan so we can talk about how tough he thinks he is.”
Scout shook his head. “You don’t have to do that, man. I can handle myself.”
“Yeah, I know, but this isn’t good for the town. Jimmy would want me to put a stop to all this nonsense. Besides, Dylan’s a punk. He might need a bit more persuasion.”
“I’m coming with you,” Molly said, exiting the bedroom. “I don’t want you doing anything stupid.”
“Like stand on the porch until five huge dogs are within snapping distance before finally making a move? You mean stupid like that?”
Molly placed her hands on her hips and stuck out her tongue. “You’re alive aren’t you?”
“More like back from the dead. And you’ve also ruined my Nirvana concert shirt.”
“I didn’t ruin it. It’s just fine.”
“It’s not fine! You’re wearing it. I was saving it for a special occasion and now you’ve gone and ruined it.”
“And everyone tells me I used to be a drama queen. Let’s go.” Molly pushed him towards the door.
Scout walked them out. “How is she?” he asked Molly.
“She wanted to take a nap. She’s really upset. Let her get some rest and then just listen to what she has to say. I’ll come back later and talk with her some more. I didn’t realize how isolated she’d been feeling here.”
Scout leaned against the doorjamb and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I didn’t either until today.”
“Yes, well, Raven has been sensitive to the differences a lot longer than any of us, but she would, being from the outside.”
“All right, Oprah, let’s hit the road,” Samuel said and ran down to the street.
“Who’s Oprah?” Scout asked Molly.
She shrugged and followed Samuel.
Scout winced when he pulled his hands back out of his pockets. His swollen, red knuckles hurt but he didn’t know if that happened in the scuffle or when he punched the door. Inside, he filled a bowl with water to soak his hands. He considered joining Raven, but his nerves were too frayed to sleep. He carried the bowl to the couch and stared at nothing.
His friends had left to smooth everything out, like anything could ever be smoothed out again. Scout kept picturing the crowd of faces on Main Street. Some of them believed Dylan and Billy and that hurt Scout more than any physical force. They thought he was capable of something so terrible that they were willing to stand by and let Dylan and his friends beat him up. These were the kids Scout had grown up with over the past seven years. This was his family—his fellow Independents. How could everything be falling apart?
Scout set the bowl on the coffee table and dried his hands on his shorts. He dug out the Boy Scout shirt and held it to his face, smelling the fabric. He ran his arms through the sleeves and pulled on the uniform. Then he sat back down on the couch. Afternoon sunlight crept across the wall and onto the bedroom door.
The door opened and Raven hauled her backpack into the living room. She called it her bug out bag and packed it with essentials just in case some world ending threat ever happened again.
“What are you doing?” Scout asked.
She dropped the bag by the front door. “I’m out of here.”
Twenty
Scout
It was like getting sucker punched in the chest. The initial shock knocked the air from his lungs. Scout rose from the couch and took a faltering step toward Raven.
She held up her hand. “Don’t, Scout. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. I don’t belong here. I’ll never be able to fit in. I have to go before someone else gets hurt.”
“What are you talking about? You’re the one who got hurt. We’ll fix this. Mark and Samuel are already out talking to Billy and Dylan. This will be behind us before you know it. You’ll see.”
“No, I won’t. I’m not going to be here.”
Scout wanted to hold her, grab her, tell her that he loved her and wanted her to stay with him. She didn’t have to run away. Scout would take care of the problem before it grew out of control. He dropped his head and closed his eyes. The rushing of his emotions roared in his mind.
“Did you hear me, Scout?”
He jerked his head up. “No, I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I’m leaving, Scout.”
“Yeah, I heard that, but…”
“And I’m breaking up with you.”
Scout’s knees dipped as his plans for the future shattered along with what he supposed was his heart. He tried to think of something to say that would keep her here.
“Why?”
“I’m just not ready to settle down and be the preacher’s wife. I want to be out in the world, not stuck in some little town doing nothing but working to survive. I want to live. I want to experience the world and that isn’t going to happen in the middle of Nebraska.”
“But,” he added nothing. He had nothing to say—and everything at once. I want you to stay. I need you to be with me. I love you. None of it sounded right. None of his words would be anything more than pleading. He knew Raven would never respect him if he came off weak.
“Can’t we try and fix this? Can we give it just a bit more time? I can do something else. I don’t have to stay here.”
The way Raven stared at him made him want to crawl under the sofa and hide. She never looked at him like that before. She was already gone. All that was left was for her to haul her stuff out the door, down the stairs, and across the edge of town. He couldn’t stop her. Not with all the words in the world.
“Where will you go?”
She sighed. “I don’t know yet. I’m going east or south. I’
m not going anywhere near Denver if that’s what you’re thinking.”
He did think that. The ugly thought climbed from his gut, stepped over the pieces of his heart, and clung like black cancer in his mind. She was leaving Scout to go back to Chase. The guy still infected her like the plague he was. Like the plague he set upon the world—the plague that killed Jimmy.
Raven lifted her backpack and swung the straps over her shoulders.
Scout stood still. “Do you want me to come with you?”
The silence that followed crushed every ounce of his spirit. She sighed again and opened the door. Scout had never heard anything as loud as the knob turning to withdraw the bolt.
“No, Scout.” She stepped outside and closed the door.
Scout listened to her heavy steps fade all the way down the stairs. He thought he heard her crying. Hoped she was crying. He stood in the middle of their apartment staring at nothing, wearing his new Boy Scout shirt. He should run after her, should make her stay until she started thinking straight again. He should find Catherine and have her make sure that Chase’s influence was gone and that this was truly Raven’s choice.
His breathing sounded heavy and harsh, like he’d fought a ten round title match and got his butt kicked by someone who threw all the right punches. Any moment Raven would walk back in and apologize. She’d tell him she was being crazy—she didn’t mean it. She loved him more than anything. The door would open—any moment.
The light outside dimmed, casting deep shadows into the apartment as if that was the way things would appear to Scout from now on—dim and dismal, without any hope.
He spun around and jumped up on the sofa, pressing his hands to the window. A dark cloud had moved in on the sunshine. A breeze blew through the screen, chasing around the room before flowing to another open window in the bedroom. He couldn’t see her. She wasn’t on Main Street. He had to watch her go. He couldn’t just let her walk away forever without seeing her one last time.
Scout ran out the door and flew down the stairs, skipping three or four steps at a time. He hit the brick cobbles and looked in both directions. Scout decided she was being honest and was going east or south—not west, to him.
He headed toward the eastern side of town, sprinting so fast he could feel the push in his toes. Houses, trees and kids blurred as he passed. Kids waved or tried to say something, neither of which he paid attention to. He had to find her.
He made it to the edge of town without running into her. She had just left the apartment. Surely she hadn’t gotten this far yet. The cloud broke past the sun like a lazy giant, returning the heat. Breathing deep, Scout tried to figure out where to run to next.
South, she said either east or south. Maybe she headed southeast, back to their hometown of St. Louis. Raven would go somewhere familiar. She’d go back to the Lou.
Scout rounded the outskirts of town toward south, watching the whole time for Raven. He stumbled into things as he ran: a bush, a bucket, a water hand pump. He ran into a tree and bruised his elbow. These were only minor distractions compared to his desperation to find Raven and convince her to stay.
The road that led south was a pothole bonanza. No sign of Raven—only flat, treeless, open prairie. He stumbled off toward the west with a lot less enthusiasm, convincing himself that she had left to go back to Denver. His energy spent chasing Raven’s ghost trail, he staggered to the western edge and fell to his knees. The road out west was worse than the south. After three hundred yards of rubble, the small road turned into prairie where it led to another smaller town fifteen miles away.
He felt relieved because Raven wasn’t there either. A sprig of hope blossomed in his broken heart. Scout hurried back to his apartment, pressing a hand to his side where a nasty cramp threatened to make him crawl. Scout dragged tired legs up the stairs and his step lightened when he saw the open door. He took a deep breath and walked across the threshold, ready to do anything to make Raven happy.
Vanessa smiled at him. She held a stack of Boy’s Life magazines in her hands and placed them carefully back on the table. Little David sat on a blanket spread out on the floor, playing with Scout’s alphabet blocks. He squealed with excitement when he saw Scout and threw the letter B at him.
“What are you doing here?” Scout asked his sister.
“I came by to see if you were all right.”
He took several deep breaths, recovering from his run around town. All he wanted to do was fall on the floor in a heap of exhaustion and tears. “I’m fine.”
Vanessa stepped closer. “Raven stopped by to get her motorcycle.” Vanessa stepped again. “I’m so sorry, Scout.”
He couldn’t breathe as he silently cursed his stupidity. Of course Raven rode off on her motorcycle. The room spun like a cyclone with his sister anchoring the middle. She took a final step and caught him as the tears fell. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stem his sorrow, not wanting to look like a complete mess in front of Vanessa. She held her hand against the back of his head and whispered soft words. He didn’t comprehend because his thoughts were chasing after Raven as she drove farther away.
Now she was gone. Scout didn’t know why. It happened so fast. Everything today had been like that. Hellhounds, Dylan, Billy, the box of Boy Scout stuff, Raven, Ginger and the baby—everything happened so fast. Scout was along for the ride with neither the choice of direction nor the capability to stop.
Now he just wanted off.
What was happening today? Why had everything gone wrong? How could he return to the way things were this morning before he woke up?
“I like the uniform.” Vanessa had moved back and was giving his shirt the up and down. “You finally found one. It looks good on you.”
A smile crept across his face like it was ashamed to be there, but he was too happy about the Boy Scout stuff to ignore her compliment. “I found it this morning in the same house where we salvaged all the baby furniture. It was just in a box sitting in the kid’s closet.”
“Why’d you go out there?”
His smile slipped away like a distant memory. “I went for a ride to clear my head.” He sat on the couch and unlaced his shoes, his feet sore after the pounding run. “It’s been a rough day.”
Little David squawked, holding onto a table leg and reaching for something up on Scout’s shelf. Vanessa lifted him off the ground and after a series of grunts and pointing; he came away with a baseball. Vanessa set him on his feet again and patted him on the bottom. Little David threw the baseball across the room and followed.
Vanessa took a seat across from Scout. “I’ve heard some of it, especially about the altercation on Main Street. Did you really yell obscenities?”
Scout looked away from her penetrating brown eyes. He removed his Boy Scout shirt, folding it neatly then placing it on the sofa beside him. “It’s been a really rough day. I’m sorry.”
He had excuses for the way things had gone, but in reality he was too blind to see the way things were going and that had cost him his reputation and his girlfriend.
Was it pride? Did he enjoy the attention of preaching? How was he going to preach to these kids now? Sunday was in two days. How would he patch things up before then? Maybe he needed a break. Maybe Independents needed a break from him.
His sister sat quietly watching his internal struggle without comment. She would never stand for anything less than his absolute best. She demanded it of him—made him tougher and kept him alive through her guidance. Not only had he embarrassed himself, but her as well, and that was worse than anything—even losing Raven. He looked up at Vanessa.
“What are you going to do about it?” she asked.
“I’m going to be better.”
She smiled. “I’m sure you will be.”
Twenty-One
Margaret
The late Friday afternoon sunshine burned at a bright angle across Margaret and Samuel as they walked over to Dylan’s house. Not even a breeze rippled through the lines of hanging laundry. Scho
ol had been cancelled with the birth of baby James. Chores were finished early and now all the younger kids flittered past trying to find that one good hiding spot in a massive game of hide and seek. The group of “its” roamed in a wild pack, kicking bushes and looking under porches. Those that were uncovered were quickly tagged and sulked back to base in shame.
“But I’ve already been tagged,” Emma argued.
“Then why are you hiding?” Reese said. Reese had graduated from Vanessa’s school last spring. Now she was the official babysitter of Independents; today her responsibilities had doubled with baby James. Hands on her hips, she wasn’t listening to any of Emma’s excuses. “This time go back to base.”
“All right, all right, sheesh! I was just sitting in the shade. It’s so hot out here. You don’t have to be so bossy.”
“Follow the rules if you want to keep playing.”
Emma stalked off in a huff and the group of “its” continued their search. Margaret liked watching them play. Besides little David and now James, everyone else was older than nine. After all the trials and strife fighting to survive, it was good that kids still knew how to enjoy their childhood.
Margaret couldn’t believe these things were happening now. The plague had come and hopefully gone. Hellhounds were on the loose, and she and Catherine were moving among mankind again. She had slept through the past seventeen years totally unaware. Now she felt disoriented in the apocalyptic chaos.
She tried processing everything in that seventeen year blank space where all her choices were made by someone else. That’s the only way she could think about it. It wasn’t her, but this other person called Molly. And Molly had made a couple major choices for the both of them.
First and foremost was Hunter. Their relationship was very… Margaret’s cheeks warmed. She tugged the hem of her shirt down as if she were walking around exposed.
Beside her, apparently lost in his thoughts, Samuel’s lips were pressed into a tight frown,. They were getting closer to Dylan’s house after checking the weight room on Main Street first. If Dylan wasn’t home, they’d have to search the nearby lake where he fished for the Brittanys.