by Lili Zander
She groans. “May told you, didn’t she? Poor thing. I started bawling, and she looked hunted.”
“Hmm.” I perch on the bed next to her. “I’m not saying she’s avoiding you, but she’s also offered to finish that damn blanket for you.” I give my friend a sidelong look. “Is it the hormones, or is it something else?”
She takes a deep breath. “I’m terrified,” she whispers. “What if something happens to my baby? What if her lungs don’t develop? Or she’s born at the four-month mark, but she’s a super-preemie?”
“Harper,” I soothe her. “Everything’s fine. Vulrux has been using Dariux’s med-kit to monitor your pregnancy, hasn’t he? Is he concerned?”
“No.” She winces. “What if she’s a weird mix of Draekon and human, Vi? What if I don’t love her? It’s not like I can tell Vulrux and Dennox this, can I? I mean, they were treated like monsters and thrown out of their own planet. How would it look if I’m petrified that my baby’s going to be hideous?”
I could tell her that she’s worrying for no reason. Harper’s gorgeous, and her mates are pretty damn easy on the eyes. Not as gorgeous as my mates, obviously, but Dennox and Vulrux are certainly not a hardship to look at. This baby hit the genetic lottery.
But I just let her talk it out. She just needs to voice her fears. I can relate.
“You think I’m being crazy, don’t you?”
“No,” I reply at once. “It’s normal to be worried.” I wince inwardly as she mangles a row of the blanket. As Ryanna would say, bless her heart. Harper’s terrible at crocheting. “Did Vulrux tell you about the soldiers?”
She nods. “This morning. He said that Arax isn’t too concerned.”
“He’s not. But people can’t use the communicator anymore. I’m sure not everyone’s thrilled about the situation.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t know.” She frowns at the blanket. “I don’t understand how May’s stitching is so neat,” she complains. “Mine is always such a mess. Neither Vulrux nor Dennox has used the communicator.”
“May’s been crocheting since she was a teenager. You started last week.” I sigh. “Arax and Nyx haven’t used it either. I feel so bad for them, you know? If Arax talks to someone and his brother finds out, then shit will hit the fan. And Nyx just flat out doesn’t have anyone. It’s heartbreaking.”
“They have you,” she points out.
Hopefully, it’s enough.
I’m still feeling kinda sad when I get back to our apartment. To my surprise, both of my mates are there, talking to Thrax, who’s one of Ryanna’s mates. “Come sit down,” Arax says to me. “Thrax was just telling me the Cloakship will be ready soon.”
Shock courses through my body. “It will?”
Thrax nods. “Yes, Viola Lewis. I was able to repair the ThoughtVault, and it’s got much better wiring diagrams. I hope to be done in a month.” He grimaces. “It seems like a long time, I know, but I never did finish my technician training. I’m learning as I go along.”
“You’re doing really well,” Arax says immediately. “Better than any one of us could do.”
Thrax beams with pride. Once he’s left, my mates turn to me. “You looked unhappy when Thrax mentioned the ship,” Nyx says, his eyes searching my face. “Is everything all right?”
“Everything feels like it’s changing,” I murmur. “Everything’s moving so fast.” I take a deep breath. “I have to ask you,” I say, looking at Arax. “If you could leave the prison planet, would you?”
He takes my hands between his, exclaiming in surprise. “Your hands are freezing. Viola, what’s the matter?”
Just say what you mean, Vi. Don’t make them play guessing games.
“You’re royalty,” I say, not looking into his face. “I’m a botanist from Earth. Nothing special. Now that there’s the possibility of leaving here, if you wanted us to go our own separate ways…”
An expression of pain fills his face. “What are you talking about?” he demands. “I adore you. You are my mate. My light. My happiness. Why would I ever want to be parted from you?”
Nyx is studying me intently. “What’s happened?” he asks. “You’re not usually insecure. Did someone suggest that Arax wanted out?”
No. It’s something else entirely. Something I’ve done my level best not to flip out about.
“You were going to be the High Emperor. Don’t you miss it?”
“Not even a little bit.” I’m about to open my mouth and call him a liar, and he puts up his hand to stop me. “Trust me, aida. I was the Firstborn, and it was my duty, and so I did whatever was required. But I hated it. I hated the endless political maneuvering, the assassination attempts, the diplomacy, the constraints.”
He takes a deep breath. “Every minute of my life was controlled,” he says. “I had all the power in the universe, but no freedom. Back in the Homeworld, I could have never been friends with Nyx. Hell, if I’d ever addressed him as an equal, every Highborn in the Empire would have been making fiery speeches about how I was upending the social order.”
“That doesn’t sound fun.”
He smiles sadly. “It wasn’t. I might have been forced into exile on the prison planet, but here, I found contentment. And then you crashed into my world.”
“Quite literally,” Nyx quips.
“And you’ve brought me so much more happiness than I ever dreamed possible.” He laces his fingers in mine. “I don’t care when the Cloakship is ready to go. I have no desire to leave.”
I knew all that. I just needed to hear it all over again.
“Are you going to tell us what this is about?” Nyx asks.
“I think I might be pregnant.” I look at my two mates. “With our baby.”
Their expressions fill with joy, and they sweep me into a hug. Seeing their obvious happiness, I feel really foolish about my nervousness telling them this news. “I want to keep it a secret,” I warn them. “At least for the next month. I’m not ready for a fuss.”
“You’re our mate,” Nyx replies, his eyes shining with happiness. “You’re going to have our youngling. Of course we’re going to make a fuss over you.”
“But if it makes you happy, aida,” Arax interjects, “We’ll keep news of our youngling a secret.”
They both look so thrilled that I’m starting to tear up. Oh dear. I better not get as weepy as Harper. That’d be terrible.
8
Harper
A couple of days later, the guys finally convince me to leave the apartment. Not the guys so much as Viola and Ryanna, who show up with a long flowing dress, slippers and a light robe to wear over the whole ensemble.
“This is syn made?” I ask, fingering the soft material.
“Comfy, isn’t it? We asked Zunix to make something for a pregnant woman.”
“It’s better than pajamas,” I marvel and let them help me waddle to the communal room on our floor. “Today isn’t Not-Really-Tuesday, is it? Am I losing track of time?”
“Nope.”
We walk in, and everyone comes to their feet. No guys, just all the ladies in a circle, gazing at me expectantly. “Surprise,” Viola announces. “Welcome to the planet’s first baby shower.”
“A baby shower? For me? But I’ve been such a pain in the ass.”
Viola chuckles. “I’m blaming it on the hormones. Anyway. We’ve been through a lot, so I figured it was a good time to celebrate something good. We brought food and presents.”
May and Sofia hold out bulky shapes wrapped in bright bits of cloth, and I find myself blinking back tears. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Sit down,” Ryanna says practically. “Let’s get the party started.”
I sink into a comfy chair—the guys must have carried it from one of the apartments, and rest my hands on my belly as the ladies bustle around.
There’s food—all my favorites, from fries to vanilla pudding fruit. A few ladies try my salty-sweet combo, and Olivia pronounces it good.
“So, how are you feel
ing, Harper?” May leans in cautiously.
Poor May. I ignore how a few women’s eyebrows go up at her bravery. “I know I haven’t been the most emotionally stable person in the world, but really, I’m feeling pretty good.” I give her a sheepish look. “I don’t think I’m ever going to learn to crochet.”
She laughs. “I’ll finish your blanket for you,” she promises. “But really, it’s just a question of practice.”
Felicity has her hands on her belly too. She’s probably as nervous as I am, but she’s doing a much better job hiding it than me. I lean closer to her. “Vulrux and Sofia are monitoring me pretty closely,” I tell her. “Neither of them seem concerned.”
“Lud and Xan keep telling me the same thing,” she replies. “It’s still hard not to freak out.”
“Are you sleeping better?” Ryanna asks.
“No, but then I just nap.” I shrug. “Not like I have to rush to work in the morning or anything.”
Sofia frowns. “Maybe we can find something to help with the insomnia.”
“It’s okay. It’s more that I’m big and uncomfortable. The sex is still great.”
Sofia turns bright red, but Felicity perks up. “Really?”
“Mmmhmm. I’m just so much more sensitive.”
“Aren’t the guys nervous to touch you?”
“Yeah, but we’re careful. The hormones—they make me so horny, I’m desperate. And,” I continue to brag, even as Sofia gets up and walks to the food table, her bowed head not quite hiding her flushed cheeks. “It’s not like they want to say no. I mean, look at me. My boobs are huge,” I crow a little, and everyone grins. “Seriously, my nipples are like something out of a porn film.”
Ryanna hides her smile behind a hand. Olivia shakes her head, a knowing look on her face. Felicity looks fascinated. I’ll have to pull her aside and talk to her privately, so she knows what to expect.
Viola clears her throat. “Okay, before this conversation gets even more TMI, let’s open some presents.”
Everyone scrambles to pull out their gifts. “What’d you guys do, hit ‘Babies ‘R Us’?” I quip to hide the tightness in my throat. These women are so generous.
“Even better. We got Zunix to use the syn to make stuff,” Olivia says.
“Oh, I made my gift myself,” Bryce says. “Were we supposed to use the syn?”
“No, I’m just lazy,” Olivia says. “And not crafty at all. In that sense.” She turns to me. “I once tried hemming a pair of pants. It went great, until I stood up and realized I’d hemmed the pants to the pair I was wearing.”
Felicity snickers.
“I can relate,” I wave a hand. “May’s trying to teach me to crochet a baby blanket. It’s not going well.”
“Less talking, more gift opening,” Viola says, once more taking the lead. “Otherwise we’ll be here all night.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Harper has to get back to her apartment to have sex,” Paige jokes.
“That’s right,” I wink. “Show me the loot.”
“Who’s first?” May asks.
I pick a small, colorfully wrapped package. “That’s me,” Felicity says, unfolding from her seat, her cheeks pink. “Mine is a two-part gift.”
I open the gift and find two delicate lures and fishing line.
“That’s the first part.” Felicity sounds a little nervous, and I remember we had a falling out when she asked me about all the fries I was eating. It seems so insignificant now. “Being on this planet means we have to be self-sufficient. So when she gets old enough, I’m going to teach her to fish.”
“Thank you,” I start to rise to hug her, and she comes the rest of the way.
“That’s so beautiful,” Bryce murmurs.
“Our turn.“ Ryanna, May, and Paige all have little baby dresses and caps they’ve made. I coo over each piece and hand them to Felicity to pass around.
“I’ll teach her to sew,” Ryanna assures me. “That is, if she wants to learn.”
Sofia has little bottles of cream. “Handmade on the prison planet by yours truly,” she smiles. “These are for your skin now, and I’m working on a formula for the baby to help with rash.”
“And Sofia can teach her to sew up a wound and set a bone,” Olivia teases.
“Don’t forget what plants to avoid to keep from going into a coma,” I say. “Although we all can do that. Me most of all.”
I open another package and hold up a number of soft cloth rectangles. “What are these?”
“Diapers,” Olivia says. “I asked Zunix what they use. Apparently, though they have all kinds of fancy technology, nobody in Zoraht has ever heard of a disposable diaper. You have to wash them,” she wrinkles her nose, “but we’re working on a solvent you can use.”
“Make Dennox and Vulrux do that,” Ryanna says. All the women agree.
“Since we’re all teaching Harper’s baby things, I’ll teach her how to shoot,” Olivia says, and adds with a sly toss of her hair, “Also the importance of finding a properly fitting bra.”
I laugh. “Does the syn make bras?”
“Not really,” she says.
Felicity grimaces. “I need to find a more comfortable bra,” she says. “My breasts are so sensitive right now.”
“I just go without,” I shrug.
“I need one that makes me look bigger.” Bryce sticks out her chest and pretends to pout. “Can you help me with that?”
I snort. “Please. Every guy here would be happy to jump into bed with Sofia and you. We’re the boring mated ones. You two, on the other hand…”
Sofia’s cheeks go red.
“That’s what we really need to do…” Viola says, pausing for effect. “Teach her how to deal with two mates at once. Prison planet sex ed.”
We all shriek with laughter. “Not for a long long time,” I say firmly. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“I like this,” Ryanna says wistfully. “We’re planning for the future.”
My hand falls on one of the little dresses, bright red with yellow threading.
“She could be a dragon.” I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud until everyone gets quiet around me. “She could be human, but probably not. We have no idea what she’ll be. We just don’t know.” My voice drops to a whisper. “I’m really, really scared.”
“Oh, Harper.” May and Ryanna jump up and hug me.
Sofia puts a hand on my shoulder. “There’s a lot we don’t know, but there’s a lot we do. All signs point to the baby being healthy.“
“A healthy human? Draekon? A species of her own? Will she ever get off this planet? If she does, where will she go? She can’t go to Zohraht, but will anyone on Earth accept her?” My voice rises.
“Hey.” Felicity comes to kneel in front of me. “We can’t think like that. We can’t think about what might happen, or what could’ve happened. We have to think about what we do have.” She grips my hand, and I cling to it. Of all the ladies, she’s the one who will have thought about this the hardest. She’s the one who most understands.
Olivia clears her throat. “When I look around at all of us, here, together, relatively safe and happy, and then I think of the odds of us crashing here, surviving. Some of us meeting mates… we’ve done it. We’ve already won.”
“You’ve got this, Harper,” Bryce adds.
One by one all the ladies get up and hug me. I’m not the only one shedding a tear.
Then it hits me. All I need is for my baby to be healthy, and for both of us to survive. Once she’s born, I know we’ve got the support we need to live on the Prison Planet. We might just be okay.
9
May
Both Yasix and Thesix are awake when I get back. “How was the celebration?”
“Good.” I smile at them. “I held it together. I didn’t cry.”
It hadn’t been easy, but I’d been absolutely determined not to be that woman. The one who was so affected by her own fertility problems
that she couldn’t bear seeing or hearing about other women’s babies.
“Come here.” Thesix pats his thighs. I sit down on his lap, my back against his chest. He wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in his embrace. Yasix, just as comforting in his own quiet way, hands me a hot cup of tea.
I’d wanted the two of them almost from the first moment I laid eyes on them. But the word ‘mate’ had terrified me. Not because of the commitment, but because I could never have children of my own.
I’d told them that on our first date. They’d taken me to the lake—everyone’s favorite first date spot—and I’d been brutally honest with the two Draekons. “I had ovarian cancer when I was nineteen,” I’d said to them. “The doctors had to remove my uterus. I’m lucky. I’m alive, and the cancer hasn’t reappeared. But I can never have children. There’s no plumbing down there.”
I don’t know what I expected their reaction to be. Part of me thought they’d end the date and try for Bryce. Or worse, that they would lie to themselves, and pretend it was okay.
It had taken them two months to convince me that they were the kind that would stick around. Believing them, trusting them, accepting that they cared for me—it’s the smartest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
“Harper said she mangled her blanket,” I continue, hoping I can distract myself from bursting into loud, noisy sobs by talking about crocheting. Thesix’s touch is comforting, as is the steaming mug of tea. “I told her I’d fix it. Remind me to drop by her apartment tomorrow.”
Yas kneels in front of me. “May,” he says gently. “Talk to us.”
My lips twist into a small smile. “It was hard. I survived. I couldn’t stay away. It wouldn’t have looked right.”
“Who cares about that?”
“I do.” I fall silent for a while. “It was easier back on Earth,” I say finally. “On Earth, adoption was an option. Here, on the other hand…” My voice trails away. I can’t complain about being stranded on the prison planet. If we hadn’t crashed here, I would have never met these two men. I would have never been in the most rewarding relationship of my life.