by Tia Siren
I got in my car and headed home, feeling awesome about landing that job. It wasn’t even much of a pay cut—a couple of bucks—and hopefully the guy was right about the drama part. I wanted to work, to get my job done and move on toward my dreams, without having to deal with a bunch of gossiping men. Not only did I want to prove how amazing I was to myself, but I wanted Cassie to see it too. I didn’t want there to be any doubt in her mind that I was the right man for her. She would see it as soon as I told her about the new job, about how close I was to making my dreams come true, and about how sorry I was that Carl had gotten in the way of everything. If she didn’t already know how perfect we were together, I would show her by being the man I was when she first fell in love with me.
I put away my things and changed my clothes, hanging my one suit back in the closet where it spent most of the year. I never really had a reason to dress up, but I kept it for funerals, weddings, job interviews, and things like that. When I was done, I grabbed my phone and sat down on the couch, scrolling through it until I came to Cassie’s name. I wanted to tell her about the new job, share things with her, try to get her back into my life. I dialed the number and listened to it ring, and I sighed slightly as it went to voice mail. She didn’t pick up, but I wasn’t sure what I expected.
“Hey there,” I said, leaving a message. “It’s Scott. I really would like to talk to you. Some things have happened, and you were the person that I first thought of. We need to sit down and talk things through. Call me back.”
I hung up the phone and sat there for a moment, not feeling as bad as I normally did when she didn’t answer. I had a plan this time, a plan that would benefit me and her at the same time. It felt good to be back on track, to know what I was looking forward to in the future. I looked at the time and figured I might as well go out Ubering. Every extra dollar was a step toward my goal. I grabbed my keys and headed out for the evening, finding my first fare almost immediately. Mondays had always been quiet, but that night I made quite a bit of money. Things were starting to go well for me everywhere I turned. Maybe this wasn’t the end of my story, just a change of scenery, which seemed to be exactly what I needed. I had become stagnant before, but at that point, driving around in my car, a new job on the horizon, I felt completely renewed and ready for the next steps. Life was getting better, and all I needed now was to get Cassie back in my life.
Chapter 26
Cassie
As I sat around Whitney’s house, thinking about what the next few months would bring, I couldn’t move past my thoughts of Scott. I really missed him on so many levels. He cut to the core of me, brought a better person out, but I couldn’t bring myself to call him. He had called me, left me a message sounding like the man I knew, but there had been so much damage in between. The words he spoke to me that day in his driveway lingered. They were like knives in my heart, and I couldn’t shake them enough to enable myself to reach out to him. Maybe it would take time. Maybe it would take a conversation. Or maybe it would always hurt. Either way, I was at a loss for what to do. Everything felt like a struggle all the time.
“Hey, baby girl,” Whitney said, coming in and sitting down next to me. “How are you feeling?”
“A little better, I guess.” I sighed. “I’m not crying every five seconds, and a lot of the nausea has subsided.”
“Good,” she said, rubbing my leg. “It’s baby steps. You know that. You are doing amazing, especially still going to work each morning and making it through that.”
“All I wanted to do in the middle of the day today was take a nap.” I chuckled. “Like in the dirt and dust, just lay down and sleep.”
“That will get better too in time,” she said. “I’ve read that the second trimester is so much easier than the first. You start to get that energy back, you aren’t so emotional, and things start to even themselves out a lot.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said, giving her a tiny smile. “So, what’s up?”
“I want to take you out to dinner,” she said. “Get you out of the house. Get some good food in that belly.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I honestly don’t feel like doing anything. I’m tired. I want to sleep all the time, and the day really wore me out. Going anywhere seems like it will take more effort than I have.”
“You can’t sit around in this room forever,” she said. “You have to start living your life. These are the last months you will be alone. You should take advantage of that and do the things you might not be able to do once the baby is here. Besides, we haven’t had a nice dinner out together in a long time. I promise it will make you feel better to get out of the house and be around other people. Life hasn’t stopped, but if you aren’t careful, it’s going to leave you behind. It’s nothing fancy, just good food and good company.”
“I guess it would be nice to get some air,” I said. “All right, but I don’t want to do my makeup or anything like that. And you have to pick out some clothes.”
“Deal,” she said, smiling.
Whitney pulled a pretty pink sundress out of the closet and a pair of sandals. She smiled at me as she handed them over before turning and walking from the room. I got dressed and sat in the living room, waiting for her to finish getting ready. I felt like there was a hole in my heart, like something was missing, but I had felt that way since my father fired Scott. I was starting to get used to the feeling.
“You ready?” Whitney asked in a bubbly voice.
“Yeah,” I replied, groaning as I stood up and followed her to the car.
She took me to a restaurant across town, one I had been to a couple times before. It was more family style than fancy, and I was glad to see that. I didn’t feel like being around a bunch of people like my father. Whitney talked quietly to the hostess for a moment, but my mind was elsewhere, looking at all the happy kids sitting around the tables with their parents. It made me sad in a way, knowing there was a good chance I wouldn’t ever have that, at least not with the man I wanted to have that with. I followed Whitney to the table, looking down at my feet as I walked.
It wasn’t really Whitney’s kind of place, but I figured she had picked it for my benefit, trying to show me that life did go on. Still, I was struggling to see it through the heartache I was feeling. Whitney stopped and turned back to me, a nervous look on her face.
“Don’t be mad,” she said.
“Why would I—” I stopped as I looked up at the table, shocked to see Scott sitting there.
He stood up and put his hands in front of him, looking at me and then back at Whitney. I didn’t even know how to feel. I was teetering between angry and relieved. The words Scott had spoken in the driveway played in my head, and my stomach churned. I turned, shaking my head, and took a step toward the door.
“Wait,” Whitney said, grabbing my arm. “I am the one who set this up. The two of you need to talk, to work things out whether the result is good or bad. This needs to happen for you to move on and start living your life again. You know it’s important.”
“You should have told me,” I whispered. “I don’t need these kinds of surprises. I need time to think before I have a conversation with him.”
“Don’t you think you have had more than enough time to think?” she asked. “Look, Cassie, you know I would never do something like this if I didn’t think it was in your best interest. He really wants to talk to you, to work through what happened, and I think it would be a good time to reveal to him the things that have been on your mind. I am not saying this is a fix all, but remember that you are taking baby steps, and this is the next one.”
I stood there for a moment, thinking, trying not to agree with Whitney but knowing she was right. I glanced up at Scott, who was standing there with a lost look. I shook my head, agreeing to stay.
“Good,” Whitney said, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll be outside waiting in the car. If you need anything, just call or come out there. Okay?”
I sighed. “Yeah.”
Sh
e smiled and looked back at Scott before walking through the restaurant and out the front door. I walked slowly over to the table and sat down across from him, trying not to look into his eyes. He cleared his throat and poured me a glass of wine from the bottle on the table. I stared at it, knowing I couldn’t drink it.
“Thank you for staying,” he said, nerves clear in his voice. “So much has happened since I saw you last. I knew you were the one I wanted to tell first. I got a new job. It’s in construction, for Greyson Construction, one of the smaller companies in the city. I did a full business plan for the hardware store, and I’m closer than I have ever been. Just a little more busting my ass and I will be able to open my first one. I had to scale the first one down a bit, but it’s really for the best.”
I sat there staring at him, trying to figure out why he was telling me all this. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hear it. It was that he was oblivious to the fact that there was so much more going on in the world around him. There was a child, his child, growing in my belly, and for the first time in my life, nothing else seemed to matter. The job, the money, the conversation, even the relationship felt like background noise in a busy room. My heart raced in my chest.
“So, how about you?” he asked. “What has been happening with you?”
I looked up from my plate, trying to grasp that I was in this conversation. I looked at the family next to us and then back at Scott, unsure what even to say. He became concerned and tilted his head, sitting up straighter.
“Cassie,” he said, reaching out for my hand, but I pulled it away. “What’s wrong? You can still tell me anything.”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted loudly. I pulled my hands into my lap and spoke again, this time softer. “I’m pregnant with your child.”
His forehead unfurled and a look of shock washed over him. His hands plopped into his lap, and he sat back in his chair, staring off into space. His eyes shot back to me, a questioning look on his face, as if I had spoken a foreign language. He was searching for understanding, searching for words, but what came out floored me.
“This wasn’t in my plans,” he mumbled softly.
“What?” I said, wrinkling my forehead and sitting forward. “Did you say that this wasn’t in your plans? Like it was in mine?”
“Cassie, that’s not what I meant. Cut me a little slack here. You just told me you’re pregnant,” he said, pulling himself together.
I sat there for a second, looking at his stunned face, feeling the sting of disappointment roll through me. I didn’t know what I thought would happen when I told him, but I wasn’t expecting that response. He was acting as if I had ruined his life somehow.
“Cut you some slack?” I said quietly. “I came to you when I found out, and all you gave me were hurtful words. Cut you some slack? How about the fact that I have had to deal with this all on my own? This wasn’t in my plans either, Scott. This was as big of a surprise for me as it is for you.”
“Cassie, I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t,” I snapped. “I was stupid for even thinking I actually missed you, for believing you didn’t mean what you said in your driveway that day. I fooled myself into thinking we could have what all these other families have. The joke is on me, right? You have everything figured out for yourself and there is no place in there for this baby or for me. Don’t worry, Scott, we won’t ruin your plans.”
“Cassie, please,” he said.
“You know, for a second there I really thought you cared about me.” I chuckled, putting my napkin on my plate and standing up. “I thought you had come here to clear the air, but you just came here to prove your worthiness. Something—if you had opened your damn eyes—you never had to prove to me.”
“Cassie,” he said as I turned and walked away.
I stormed through the restaurant and out the front door before he could say another word. Whitney didn’t see me come out, and I needed a moment alone. I turned right and walked around the building, leaning my back against the wall and clutching my chest. I tilted my head back and shook it from side to side, closing my eyes and trying to fight the tears. Damn hormones made it impossible for me to keep it together. I breathed heavily, trying to find my composure, realizing that might have been the last time I ever speak to Scott. He wasn’t interested in us; he was only interested in himself. He was going to find himself all alone in his glory by the end of it.
Chapter 27
Scott
The new job was great, but I was distracted by everything else going on in my life. Cassie was pregnant. I was going to be a father—if she didn’t kick me entirely out of their lives forever. I couldn’t believe I was such an idiot, responding to her confession of the pregnancy how I did. I was taken completely off guard. I hadn’t expected that in any shape or form. It was like word vomit, and I knew as soon as I said it, it was definitely the wrong thing to say.
No, of course I didn’t factor a baby into my plans when I was working everything out. I didn’t even think I was dating anyone, which I still wasn’t, but that wasn’t the point. In the plans or not, I could make the whole thing work. I would just have to shift around my priorities. I would be glad to shift around my priorities, especially for Cassie and my future child. Children weren’t on my mind in the least, but that didn’t mean I didn’t welcome the idea with open arms, especially with Cassie, the woman I knew I loved more than anything.
I wanted to be part of this, to hold that child in my arms and have its mother be the woman in my life. I wanted a family with Cassie no matter how unplanned or unexpected it was. She was so precious to me, and now I had another amazing thing to add to my life. How could I ever be upset about that? But the biggest issue was that Cassie, thinking my reaction was more than off-the-cuff shock, refused to speak to me. I had to figure out a way to get her back in my life, to make her fall in love with me all over again.
This was no longer one of those things I could watch and see how it played out. I could never be satisfied knowing I had a child out there and that I could have had a family but I let it slip away. Being with Cassie was already important to me, but now it was paramount. I would keep at it, working to win her love, working to get her to see I was the man for her, and I wouldn’t stop until she realized it. This was too important, too vital to the rest of my life, and to the life of our child. I couldn’t let that child grow up in a broken home when there was every reason for the three of us to be a family.
I pulled out my phone and scanned through the numbers, stopping on Cassie’s. I had been calling her and texting her all day long, but she refused to answer me. I wasn’t going to give up though. She would have to block my number before I stopped trying to reach out to her. She would have to talk to me at some point, and right then was way better than when the pregnancy had progressed. I flipped over to the text screen and sent another message.
“Please, Cassie, I need you to talk to me,” I texted. “Please come over to my place and talk about this with me, if for no other reason than the baby.”
I closed the phone and held it against my chin, hoping the message would show where my interests lie. I needed her to know that I cared about more than just getting her back. I cared about our child, and I wanted to be part of its life. I sat there for about an hour, feeling beaten up by the fact that she didn’t respond. I got up to grab a beer from the fridge but stopped, hearing the sound of a car door shutting. I walked over and glanced out the window. Cassie was walking up the driveway. I hurried over and opened the front door, trying not to seem too excited. She stopped in front of me and looked up with a straight face.
“Come in,” I said, swallowing hard and moving to the side. “Can I get you a glass of juice or water or something?”
“No,” she said, standing just inside the door. “I won’t be here that long. The Uber is waiting for me.”
She was cold and unfeeling, but I didn’t know how I could have expected anything else. After everything that we had been through, after how I had re
acted to the baby, I would be stupid to think she had miraculously found it in her heart to think about me fondly. I shut the door and walked inside, standing in front of her. It was obvious she didn’t want to sit down, or even move from where she was standing.
“Cassie, I want to first say—”
“No,” she said, cutting me off. “I want to make it clear to you from the start of this that we cannot go back to seeing each other. It’s too late for that. Too much damage has been done.”
“But I thought—”
“You thought what?” she asked, looking me in the eye. “That you would send some texts and calls and everything would be magically better?”
“Of course not,” I said. “But I thought you would at least hear me out.”
“I heard you loud and clear yesterday,” she said. “I heard you when your first response was how this child was not in your plan. I’m sorry I ruined your life, Scott. It was never my intention, but I have taken the hint, and I won’t continue to ruin anything else for you.”
“You didn’t ruin my life, Cassie,” I said. “I can make everything work. Plans are made to be changed, and I can change mine for the both of you. I want to change them for the both of you.”
“When a girl finds out she is pregnant, whether it is planned or not, it is somewhat of a mind fuck,” she said. “There are so many emotions running through her mind and so many hormones rushing through her body. She dreams of having that moment where she reveals she is pregnant and the man she loves scoops her into his arms and cries with her. It’s a stupid fucking dream, and more than not, the reaction is the opposite. I just can’t forgive you for your reaction. It isn’t something that can just be erased from my mind because you want it to be.”