by Unknown
I stopped. Out of breath, panting a little, my heart hurting beyond comprehension, I searched his face and his eyes for a clue as to what was going on in that head of his. “Why’d you get me fired and walk away from me? You said you cared, that you’d be there for me.”
He shifted, a flicker of emotion crossing his features but then his expression turned cold. I stared at him wondering what was real, his pain or that he didn’t care.
“I’m sorry about that Charlie. But it’s over.”
I drew in a breath. “Over?”
I edged closer. A crab scuttled toward me and I went to skip over it, came down wrong and the strap across my right instep burst. The shoe went into the sand then came right off my foot. The heel on the remaining sandal was at least three inches high so I had a shambling monster walk thing going. So much for my dignity.
Luke started to reach for me but then pulled back. “I can’t be in a relationship right now. I’m sorry.”
The wind, gentle before, came winging its way across the ocean. It hit me hard, smelling of salt, smelling of tears. “Then why date me at all? I never wanted to get close to you. I tried to break things off with you before I got in too deep, but you wouldn’t let me. I did all kinds of things to try to stay safe and you broke through every time. Why would you do all of that if you didn’t really want me?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. The wind blasted past us. His shoulders moved higher. Was he protecting himself from the wind or from me? “I need to be on my own.”
“You’re making no sense at all. Why pursue me if you wanted to be alone?”
He didn’t answer. The wind got higher. It carried a high whistle in its teeth. The gulls wheeled and dipped and the waves hit the sand with a thumping, pounding roar.
“I thought we were right for each other.” I started to cry. I didn’t want to but I just couldn’t help it. Luke’s face twisted again and I saw him suck in a giant gulp of air. He moved toward me then stopped. “I’m so sorry,” he said, “I never meant to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t give up on us.”
His shoulders slumped downward. “I have to, Charlie. But, believe me, I am sorry.”
“I’m sorry I fell in love with you,” I shot back, then turned around and started walking. I kicked the other shoe off, snatched the broken one up from the sand and clutched them to my chest, trying to hold in all of my pain.
I could have argued against any number of reasons but in the end his reasons didn’t matter. Luke didn’t love me. I was heartbroken. More than I’d ever been in my life.
Chapter Thirty-one
My bags were packed and waiting by the front door. The cast and crew were gone. I’d filmed my last scene on Friday and I’d cried as I’d done it. My character got hauled off to prison by Derek and the whole time I was in handcuffs I was staring at his stony expression.
In the week since he’d broken up with me, I’d been professional and carried out my acting obligations. I wanted to talk to Luke, to try again with him but the writers scripted our scenes so we didn’t film anything together. Instead, I became Travis’s love interest then got fingered as a murderess and hauled away to prison.
Nice job, writers. Not.
It was so unfair. Everyone seemed to agree and nobody was shy about saying it either. I’d hugged the cast and crew goodbye, realizing I’d made good friends and I’d miss them all.
In a major shocker, Adele had even come into my tiny dressing room and apologized. She was really contrite and not just acting too. She said she hoped I’d forgive her one day and that I’d understand she’d had to do it because this soap opera was all she had.
I’d just wished Adele luck. After all, she’d made the ultimatum but what nobody besides me, the producer, the director, and Luke knew, was that it was Luke who’d really gotten me fired.
Luke had even told me good luck but it was as cold and impersonal as every other word he’d said to me since we’d broken up. So it was over. I leaned back against my hammock pillow, put my toes on the floor of the deck, and pushed, letting the hammock swing a little.
The house was empty and back to being just a house and not a soap opera set. Rex was in L.A. doing whatever he was doing, but I did read that he’d taken Anna to some awards ceremony. I knew she must be thrilled so I was happy for them. The cast and crew were gone and I was about to leave for L.A. to start my new role in Cherries Jubilee.
I’d called my lawyer the day I’d gotten canned and asked if there was any way at all I could get that part back. I just said that my schedule had unexpectedly changed and I had the time to do it after all. But, since her friend was the producer, she knew the show had given me the boot.
I was able to get the part back, and I was excited to stretch my acting wings. But my joy was clouded by losing Luke. I’d really thought he was my soul mate.
“Hey, you.” Claire’s voice spoke up from behind me and I turned my head as the sound of her heels clicking across the porch came closer.
I smiled at her. “Hey, sis.”
Claire took a seat on the hammock. She pushed it, gingerly, and we rocked back and forth with our shoulders touching. I pointed toward an envelope in her hand. “What’s that?”
“This? Oh . . .” She turned to face me. Her top teeth worried at her bottom lip. “I’m supposed to give it to you. But I first wanted to let you know how much I support you. I’m glad you’re not hiding out in your mansion anymore, and I’m glad you’re taking that part. You deserve it.”
I stared out at the ocean. It was quiet that day, as quiet as my heart. “I blamed Rex for not supporting my dreams, which he didn’t. But, you know what? I realize now that I was scared, too. It’s hard to go after your dreams because what happens if you fail?”
Claire lifted an eyebrow. “I guess you get up and start pursuing again.”
I laughed. “If only you’d told me that sooner.”
She giggled. “Just promise not to go all Hollywood on me. Next you’ll be espousing raw air diets and gold-leaf facials daily.”
“No, I won’t,” I said, my smile suddenly fading. “I was scared with Luke, too. For the same reasons. I was afraid to trust him and afraid to tell him how I felt and I lost him because of that. I was afraid to go after who I wanted because I might lose him. I blew it and I really miss him.”
“I saw the tabloids this morning. There was a picture of Rex touching your neck, and then you guys embracing. They’re saying—”
“That I rebuffed Rex for Luke then got just what I deserved when Luke rebuffed me. I’ve heard it all. Those buzzards just can’t leave me alone.”
Her hand squeezed mine. “I can’t believe they’d make up such lies!”
I shrugged. “I don’t care what they say anymore.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You don’t?”
“Nope, they’re selling papers, not the truth. They’re saying whatever they have to say to achieve their goals. They lie but I can’t stop people from believing the lies and it has nothing to do with the real me.”
Claire sighed. “I’m sorry you got hurt so much but I’m still glad for you, Charlie.”
I squeezed her shoulder. “Me, too. Now I have to get going. I have to make the plane.”
We stood and Claire handed me the envelope I’d forgotten she was holding. “Rex came by my place last week. He apologized for being a lousy brother-in-law. He wanted to give you something but was afraid you wouldn’t take it from him. So he asked me to hand it to you.”
I took the envelope and turned it over. “He didn’t say what it is?”
Claire shook her head. “No. I have to get going. I have to get to work.”
We hugged. She pressed her face into my shoulder. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, but I’ll be back in six months.”
“You had better be. Don’t make me come down there and get you.”
I laughed and we broke apart. Claire left and I looked at th
e envelope again and then opened it carefully. There was a note and a second envelope as well. I unfolded the note and read:
Dear Charlie,
I was thinking about that first apartment of ours again. How you’d go to school all day and work at that little diner all night. How you’d come home smelling like toast and pancakes and crawl in bed and hug me and tell me everything was going to be fine. I was always trying in those years and nothing ever seemed to be that big break, but you just kept right on believing in me, working for us, and trusting me.
I forgot that, and I forgot a lot of things. I forgot how much I loved you. I forgot that deep down I’m still Ronnie from Blue Moon Bay. I forgot that making my dreams come true didn’t mean I had to get rid of everything and everyone I knew before. I sort of thought—deep down—that if anyone ever saw me, saw Ronnie, that Rex Rockwell would just disappear and there’d be nothing left. That’s a risk I’m willing to take now.
I also now realize how unfairly I treated you.
You filed for divorce and I felt lost without you. I tried to force you to stay with me by making the settlement as difficult as possible, but I was only thinking of myself. In my heart, I felt all people wanted from me now was money. When that didn’t work, I remembered who you are. You were never there for the money. You were only there for me. And I let you down.
I know this can’t make up for how I treated you while we were married, or for my being so stingy in the divorce, but I hope this helps you understand that I know now that our life during the time we were married was a partnership and my career would not be where it is without your unwavering support.
I hope one day we can be friends again, and that you’ll see me as the person you cared so much for in the first place.
Always,
Rex
I opened the second envelope and my eyes went wide. It was a check with many, many, many zeroes. Half of the net worth of Rex Rockwell’s estate, I presumed. I was glad Rex was figuring his life out, and what was important.
I’d figured my own life out, too little too late. My dim-wittedness had cost me Luke, the man I loved, and the man I still wanted with all of my heart.
Chapter Thirty-two
I leaned back against a plush couch in the airline’s club lounge and sipped the herbal tea I’d found in a nearby tea and coffee station, feeling grateful that I was the only passenger in the room. My flight didn’t board for another twenty minutes, and I wasn’t up for faking a smile like my life was all fine and dandy. I missed Luke like crazy.
Trying to focus on the positive, I took out the script for my upcoming part again and thumbed through the pages. I’d always dreamed of landing a role like this, my finances were finally set, but my heart still ached for Luke.
Once again, my mind had trouble wrapping around how his feelings had changed so quickly. If I’d trusted him completely, maybe things would be different, and I only had myself to blame for that. Pain sliced through my chest just thinking about him.
A foghorn sound caught my attention and I glanced up at the television screen on the wall closest to me. The morning show out of San Francisco, called All About the Bay, had just started. The show was super popular and the hosts, Rita Rose and John Smythe, were funny and smart. Although I considered myself an All About the Bay fan, I found myself turning away. Watching television would not help me win back the love of my life.
“Good morning, bay area!” Rita Rose’s enthusiastic voice carried throughout the room on the numerous television screens, and I searched around for a remote to turn them off. “John and I are excited to be here with you this fine morning and we have a surprise guest today! You know him best as hot and hunky detective Derek Bishop on Just One Love.”
“Yes,” John Smythe continued, with a nod and smile. “And we have him here, right now, for a live interview. So, please give a warm welcome to Luke Montgomery . . .”
Wait, Luke?
The studio applause erupted around the room, and my gaze flew to the screen. Luke was doing a live interview? He never did live interviews. He’d gotten stage fright as a boy, and the entire class had laughed, which had traumatized him. So all of his interviews were scripted. He’d told me even the thought of a live interview triggered those childhood nightmares.
How in the world could he be doing a live interview right now?
Maybe he and Adele were doing an interview that was truly scripted where the hosts had given the studio the questions ahead of time and the show had written Luke’s lines? But Rita hadn’t mentioned Adele. . . .
Suddenly, Luke sauntered across the stage, giving a friendly wave to the audience. All of the air whooshed out of my chest. I hadn’t seen him since the last day of filming. Well, except for on the recorded episodes of Just One Love that I’d been watching obsessively with a box of tissues the last two weeks. He looked incredibly handsome in a pale blue button-down shirt, dark slacks and dress shoes, and his hair was freshly-cut and styled back.
He shook hands with John, gave Rita a kiss on the cheek, then took a seat in a white leather chair across from them. He gave the hosts and the camera a shy smile, and then nodded to each. “Hello, Rita. John. And good morning, bay area.”
Another burst of applause from the audience, along with a few whistles.
“Thank you so much for joining our show today, Luke. I must say, you look even more handsome in person that you do on Just One Love.” She smiled, sitting up a little straighter as she crossed her legs. “So tell us, is it all true?”
He cocked his head. “That I’m as handsome in person?”
“Well, we already know the answer to that. Don’t we, ladies?” Fiendish laughter came from Rita’s red-painted mouth. The audience cackled, too. “But we’re wanting the dish on the show. How many of you watch Just One Love?”
Cheers went up from the audience.
Luke shifted in his chair, managing to look humble and confident at the same time. Then I noticed his fingers picking at the cuff of his shirt—a gesture I’d seen him make when he was nervous. My heart went out to him. Nobody else seemed to notice, but I knew him well.
“I’d say, we have ourselves a lot of Just One Love fans here today,” John said, clapping, even though it seemed unclear whether or not he watched the show. The gleam in his eye made me guess he was a closet Just One Love watcher.
“I’ve been watching Just One Love since . . . oh, wait. I can’t admit that without giving away my age.” Rita giggled, putting a hand to her chest and then cooing. “No, Luke, I’m wondering if you can tell us more about what we’ve all read in the papers. Is it true that Rex Rockwell’s ex was written off the show because she tried to steal you from Adele?”
“Rex Rockwell’s ex,” I muttered, crossing my arms. Even after having a part on the most popular soap opera for a month, the media still didn’t use my real name. Sigh.
Luke’s expression turned perplexed. “No, that rumor about Charlie isn’t true at all.”
I placed a hand over my heart, knocking my tea over in the process. Oops. But Luke had used my actual name! Not just “Rex Rockwell’s ex,” so I felt like cheering.
Rita blinked. “You’re saying she didn’t try to steal you from Adele? You can tell us, honestly. We’ve all read the papers . . .”
“Sorry, not true.” He shook his head, then winked in a charming and sexy way. “But if it makes you feel any better, I’ve read that version as well.”
The audience chuckled.
Luke rubbed one hand along the back of his neck. He looked genuinely adorkable, not just adorable but adorkable. All shy and cute and endearing, making me wonder again why he was doing a live interview. Because it was obvious to me his words weren’t scripted.
“Can you tell us this, then?” Rita checked the small white card in her hand. “People are saying she would only allow the show to film at the mansion that her ex-husband—our favorite bad boy rocker of all time, Rex Rockwell—generously gave her in the divorce, only if the show would write in a
part for her.”
Uh, he “generously” gave my own vacation house to me? For real? I didn’t know how our divorce had made Rex even more popular, but finally, after all of these years, I found myself laughing. My husband had cheated on me and tried to keep every one of our assets unless I promised to stay with him, yet I’d been labeled a gold-digging and heartless ex while he was portrayed as the long-suffering ex-husband? Too hilarious!
“Wrong again,” Luke corrected Rita, holding his palms up in a “sorry to break the news” gesture, before he chuckled. “How Charlie got a part on the show is a funny story, though.” He turned to the audience. “Would you like to hear how she really got the role of Piper?”
“Yes!” the audience shouted, then started clapping.
Luke went back to picking at the cuff of his shirt and I wanted to hug him for support. This interview had to be hard for him, and I didn’t get why he’d agreed to do it. “Charlie took on the initially-small part of Piper as a favor to the director when one of the actors didn’t show up. She didn’t even want the part. But once the camera started rolling? She was a natural.”
All of the fun times we’d had on set, including all of the crazy ad libbing, came rushing back to me, and my eyes burned. I missed Luke, and I missed the show, too. I even missed Anna, even though she had driven me nuts most of the time.
“Every line Charlie got, she earned by being a hard-working, amazing actress.” Luke smiled, as if he were remembering how much fun our scenes were, too. “Everyone on set enjoyed working with Charlie, including Adele.”
My throat squeezed and I covered my heart with my hand. I could feel the pounding rhythm beneath my fingers. I had no idea why Luke was on live television sticking up for me, but this had to be the first time someone had praised me in the media, which meant so much to me. In fact, the gesture meant even more coming from him since I’d obviously hurt him so much he’d broken things off with me.
“So, there’s no truth to any of the rumors that she hurt your and Adele’s relationship?” Rita asked, seeming unable to believe the papers had led her astray.