Be All

by Marie Wathen

  "I don't deserve it but do you think you can forgive me and let me start again?" I implore. Silently she sits where I left and I wait, huddled with my arms wrapped around my chest desperately needing her forgiveness. "I really would like to get to know you," I say earnestly.

  "I'm not some fool you know?" Coming up from behind me she moves to my side standing. I stand hypnotize by her question unwilling to respond to her accusation. "Anna told me you had never been on a date before and I didn't believe a word she said." Detecting scarce humor in her words, I remain unmoved and silently watching the waves rolling over our feet. "Besides, I saw the way she, Waverly is it? I saw how she was watching you as you walked over to our table at the night we met. Obviously something is between you." She pauses and turns her body toward me.

  "If there is something going on, I wouldn't want you to break it off because of me. I don't have any claims on you. Ha, mygod just saying that out loud sounds so ridiculous.” Watching her from my peripheral I see her jovially shaking her head. “We can’t make this serious Morgan. I'm perfectly happy with just being your friend. I don’t date because I don't need the complications or distractions. And I don't need you feeling guilty about wanting to be with another woman. Let's get back to the party and have fun. Nothing here needs forgiveness."

  Twirling around watching her natural appearance glowing with honesty, I can’t stop the look of doubt that flashes across my face. I’m in shock.

  Did I hear her correctly?

  "Are you saying that we're cool? You're not pissed at me?" Reiterating, I need clarification.

  "We indeed are cool. Oh and you better believe I am most certainly pissed. But it's all directed to Anna. She seriously sold me some bullshit about you being a dating virgin, so desperately hard up and that I was the best choice for your date that night. Uh, mygod why does everyone feel like they need me to be with some guy? What's wrong with being single? I've always been alone and I'm absolutely happy about it," she snaps in breathless anticipation. She is really pissed now and so damn much cuter when she’s angry.

  "Ok, calm down. I don't want you to go hunt down your best friend and throttle her in front of all of your classmates. Well actually I'd probably enjoy seeing you do it but first we’d need to get some Jell-O and judges,” I joke, but the idea of her in this bikini wrestling her best friend, all covered in a slick, sugary concoction would be divine. She narrows her eyes at me. “I’m kidding, but really I don’t want you mad at her. Hell, I guess I need to be completely honest. I asked Anna to do it. Breesan, I’ve heard about you for so many years and this is the first time we have been home at the same time. So I got her to use any means to get you to agree to meet me. When Granddad decided to throw that over the top welcome home party, I knew that was the way I wanted to meet you. So if you're going to be pissed, you need to be pissed at me."

  Realizing during our conversation that she really is a reasonable woman, I now know she won't dislike me for what I did. Turning around, I see that she is watching me. I offer a huge smile and move closer to her.

  "You know what? There is something seriously wrong with the men in your family. Why the hell do you have to all be so charming? Ok you win. I'm not pissed at you and I’ll think about what to do with Anna. Come on," she sighs.

  Motioning toward the house, she wades through the water. We make our way to the suddenly crowded backyard. Smoke rolls from the bonfire. This party is getting crazy. Everyone’s drinking and feeling no pain. On the poolside of the backyard the DJ set up his booth and stage - bodies pack the area. Opening with Sir Mix-A-Lot - a party favorite - he has them jumping and wiggling to the beat. One drunken guy is bumping and grinding on one of Gran’s statues.

  Joining with the fun, we dance. When “Dirt Road Anthem” by Jason Aldean begins, I pull her close and together we sway. Draping my arms over hers and placing my chin on her head while her arms are hung lightly around my waist, I realize I feel good holding her. The odd rhythm of this song is one that has her is in my arms one second, then pulling away wiggling her ass at me the next. Giggling at her own silliness, I let out an audible groan that she catches but only smiles back. Damn she is amazing. A burning desire to kiss her builds, urging me to taste her lips. I don't want to make any moves on her, but with her like this I decide to take a chance and see what happens.

  The song switches to “Call Me Maybe” and every girl starts gyrating while screaming the words at the top of their lungs.

  Damn.

  I roughly tow her by the hand pulling her off the dance floor behind me, but before I can make my move and kiss her, she breaks our connection, fearlessly making an impressive dive into the swimming pool. After a moment, her head rises out of the water and she swims back over to me. Following her lead, I gracefully dive over her and swim to the other side. She laughs blissfully and we stay that way circling around each other, splashing and bonding for a while. But as excited as I about becoming more familiar with her I notice this is not the place for it. There are entirely too many people in this pool.

  "Join me?" I motion with my head to the patio chairs, and she grins agreeably.

  Climbing out of the pool, I pick up two plush towels and find one empty chair next to the bar; she snags it while I ask the bartender for two waters. Passing her a bottle, I down half of mine in two gulps as she leans back against her chair. Boldly I sit down on her chair next to her feet.

  Unable to stop my eyes from roaming over her body, I smile again at the pretty little teal painted toenails that I was ogling earlier. Taking pleasure in her smooth tone skin, my eyes begin to move over her legs, well-formed abs, and then ample chest. Her arms are nicely sculpted and yet still very feminine and that neck, mm. Her necks looks like a place I would like to spend a lot of time getting to know on a very personal level.

  My thoughts become an intense desire. A fire in me ignites a need to capture her wrists in my hand, draw them above her head and ruthlessly crush her mouth with mine orchestrating an indecent exhibition for the voyeurs at this party. Any other time, any other woman and she would be painfully craving my touch, begging me to stroke and taunt her raw need, ultimately guiding her through an insane release and successfully wrecking her. I am notorious for shattering women in more ways than one, but not this woman. Sordid daydreaming about her doesn't stifle my needs, but I don’t understand why it keeps happening every time I’m with her. It irritates the hell out of me that I don’t have control over my own damn thoughts.

  Dammit, why am I fantasizing again?

  Focusing intently on slowing my breathing, I rapidly rush my hands through my wet hair knocking out the remaining water and successfully regaining command over my feral nature. The warmth from this late afternoon summer day begins to dry our damp suits and skin effectively causing a tranquil look to cross her face. Slowing her breathing, her chest rises and falls rhythmically appearing to doze. Averting my eyes from her beautiful chest, I covetously gaze over her magnificent and curvaceous body once again.

  Noticing a scar on her left kneecap, I impulsively reach for it and wrap my hand around the back of her knee. I trace the faint line with the pad of my thumb. Flinching from my unexpected contact, her eyes snap open watching me curiously.

  "Sorry," I offer my apology, pull my hand back, and drape my arm over my thigh. She smiles, shakes her head and closes her eyes again. I like that she is so comfortable with me and that she wants a friendship. Unlike most women, she not desperate for my attention and affection, which makes her even more desirable. She's so confidant and independent, truly the total package.

  Placing my bottle on the ground, I lean over the lounge chair and place a hand flat on the back of her chair, right beside her waist. My movement causes her to open her eyes. She raises her left arm to shade the sun. I push back a wild lock behind her ear and she intently watches my hand.

  Opening my mouth to speak, she slowly raises her eyes to mine and we lock gazes. Wasting no more time I reach with my other hand, digging my hand into he
r hair, gripping it tightly with my fingers, and angling her face to mine. Bending down, I hover so close then little by little I gently place my lips on hers. Softly, I graze over her full bottom lip with mine once then I pull away noticing her staring at me. Closing her eyes, she slips her right hand up to tenderly cover her mouth in what appears as apprehension.

  Remaining like this for several moments, she blinks her lashes several times before piercing me with a direct, solid stare that holds me. I can't read her emotions so I wait for her reaction. Putting one foot on the ground, she twists her body around, her other leg quickly follows. Scanning across the loud, large crowd she worriedly chews on her bottom lip. Finally standing, without a word she walks away. Essentially she leaves me sitting here frustrated, not knowing what she could be thinking. Shit. Mesmerized remaining on the lounge chair, I watch her walk inside the house. The kiss was too damn soon. I should have just honored her friend's only request, but instead I had to go and force it.

  Stupid.

  Closing my eyes, I shake my head at my stupidity and plop back on the lounge chair. Looking up to the brilliant blue sky I spot Tristan -- beer in hand -- walking toward me.

  "Hey dumb ass!" he jokes. Obviously he saw the kiss and now I'm in for a speech. "What are you thinking? Have you seen him yet?" He roams his eyes around the backyard then glances up to the house in search of Marcus.

  "Nope, haven't seen him," I say, effectively ignoring his questions about Breesan. I'm not going to explain anything. As much as I don't want to confuse Breesan, I just want to make sure that she knows I'm interested.

  Elise! Motherfucker I can’t be interested in Breesan now because of my damn responsibilities.

  "I need to get out of this wet suit I’ll see you later," I murmur over my shoulder at him. Wanting an explanation for what I just did, but I don’t have any excuse other than I truly am a dumb ass. Wanting to distract my mind on dwelling over my stupid stunt, I walk over to some people I recognize from the club making sure they’re all enjoying themselves. Excusing myself after a few minutes of mindless conversation, I climb the stairs leading to my bedroom. I can only assume that the closed door going to Marcus's bedroom indicates this is where Breesan went since I didn't see her on my way through to my bedroom.

  Stripping out of my wet shorts I decide washing away some of my humiliation under a steaming hot shower might clear my head. I immediately feel my tension recede down the drain with the soapy water. Alone with my thoughts, I finally can analyze this damn day and my need to always fuck things up.

  Most recently, the kiss with Breesan could be a mistake, but I won’t to focus on it ruining what we have; we can work through this from here. Either we’ll be friends or perhaps because of it we’ll be more. Refusing to let something as small as a kiss, that was barely a kiss, be the reason to end our friendship, I choose to apologize again. Hopefully talking to her about why she walked away from me will reveal she's affected by me too. Seeing something in her eyes when she looked at me after I kissed her, I have an overwhelming need to discover the meaning of it and all that encompasses with her.

  But if I do that I’ll disappoint my mother.

  And what about the way Waverly affects me? Truthfully, it's a non-issue because I don't have true feelings for her, it just lust. She satisfies me and I don't mind admitting to myself that I've enjoyed her more often than any woman. I was instantly hypnotized by what we share, and after the first taste, I became a true victim of needing more of her, like a drug addict needs a daily fix, she always leaves me craving her. Apparently she has the power to compel me and strip me of all reason.

  Unfortunately, I must stay away to maintain some control to make sure that I follow the path to my success and happiness. I just wish I was free to get the chance to be with Breesan. If she has feelings for Marcus I don’t know what I will do. It’s fucked up that I want her but can’t have her, and yet I don’t want him to have her either.

  I’m so tired of being here.

  Leaving my bedroom with my mind full of thoughts of two sexy women, I notice that Marcus bedroom door is still closed. With my hand poised to knock on the door, I decide it would be best to give her space. Strolling down the stairs I change course in pursuit of Marcus. It's time that I speak with him to get a read on how genuine his feelings are for Breesan.

  Winding my way through from the front foyer, I walk back out to where the partiers have gravitated to the grotto and Jacuzzi. Not finding Marcus outside, I decide to return to the house and look for him downstairs in the gym. He’s sure to be hiding down there; it's where he spends most of his time.

  In my search, I spot the guys and some of the regulars from Club Toxic sitting around the bonfire and make my way over.

  "Morgan my man, where the hell have you been? We've been doing shots and you my friend are two behind. Let's get you caught up?" Ian snaps toward the server and beckons for another round along with my two shots to catch up. Within a few minutes, we toast and I down my three shots while they knock back one each.

  "Glad you both could make it. By the way, I'm actually very impressed. You got Ensley and Tox to come out. So, if they're here, who's running the club since the owner and the manager are both at my house?"

  Tox, only offering his nickname when we met a couple of years ago, owns Club Toxic and his girlfriend Ensley is the manager. They have a wait staff that, under normal circumstances, would be running the club, but most of them are here tonight working for extra money as valet or server. Besides, most of their customers are here too so the club is likely dead tonight.

  "It wasn't all that difficult. Tox asked Ensley if she wanted to see what a real mansion looked like and she went all girly on him. She even squealed. Trust me, we were there, it's not a cute sound." Ian shakes his head and laughs energetically.

  "Apparently Waverly showed up unexpectedly and offered to work so they could cut out early and join us. I thought she would want be here but she said she need the extra money. Besides her ex-boyfriend showed up and offered to help her bartend while she waitressed," Jack added, his words roll out sluggishly from all the alcohol he’s consumed.

  "Is that right? I don't know she had a boyfriend," I rumble, hoping that they don’t hear my jealousy.

  Maintaining control over my sudden irritation, I fight to display indifference as I feel something besides jealousy passing through me when they mentioned a boyfriend and her being left alone with him at the bar. I have a very uneasy feeling about this situation. And I don't like it.

  "Is she safe alone there with him? He's not a crazy stalker ex is he?"

  "Nah, Tyle is safe enough. He actually talked to Jack last week, wanting to know if she was seeing anyone."

  Tyle! My mind runs through the catalogue of people living on this island hoping to match a face with the name.

  Glancing at Jack, I see him turn up a bottle of water as he bobs his head agreeing. "Some band is in concert tomorrow night that he bought tickets for while they were dating and he didn't want to take another girl. She said yes of course, it's Zane Brody, and there's no way she would pass him up. It's not often she gets excited for a band other than gothic so she won’t turn it down," Jack says casually.

  "Huh, maybe I'll go to the concert too. The last time I saw them was when I met up with Zane and the band the night they flew in to England to play for the Queen."

  I'm not sure why I shared that bit of information, but it is the truth; Zane is actually a very close friend.

  "Really Morgan, what are you going to do at a country music concert? Besides you know it's sold out."

  Grinning confidently, Ian knows it will only take one phone call and I can get tickets to anything on this island, especially with Walker as my last name. Shrugging, I retrieve my cell from my pocket when I hear it chirp with a new text. Simultaneously, Ian's phone rings and he answers it.

  TRISTAN: GET TO THE STAGE NOW!

  Watching Ian animatedly pacing beside us, I see his smile drop with a flash of fear running
across his face, before anger contorting his features. Also noticing his sudden mood shift, Jack promptly jumps to his feet rushing over to stand beside Ian. Shooting a silent exchange to his brother, Ian indicates they needed to leave. Pulling out his car keys, he hangs up the phone and I forget to reply to Tristan's text.

  "Whoa, whoa man, you don't think you're driving after all you've had to drink, do you?" Shaking our heads at him, he relents because there’s no sense in arguing with me. "If you really have to leave now let me get Granddad's driver to take you. Is everything alright?"

  Following me inside the house, I call the driver on the intercom to have him bring around the car taking them home. As we enter the house, Ian grabs Jack by the arm as if he's trying to imprison him and indicates for me to grab his other arm. I'm a little nervous by what he might have to tell him if he is asking me to restrain his brother.

  "Jack, we're going to Club Toxic. Everything is cool but that was Bry. Wav hasn’t made it home after she called him saying that the club was closing early and she’d be home soon. That was an hour ago and now she's not answering her cell. He wanted to know if we were on our way home. I assured him that we would leave the party now and see if we can find her. Just because she's not answering doesn't mean she's hurt so I need you to stay calm. I don't want you getting there and kicking Tyle's ass if they are just making up for lost time," he mildly disciplines his big brother.

  I didn’t miss the fact that he was playfully suggesting that Waverly could be fucking the bastard ex of hers but something more than jealousy prevents it from registering. I'm sincerely afraid something bad may have happened. Dammit, I kicked her out of my bed, so why is who she’s with or what she’s doing any of my business?

  "Rogers’ brought the car around front. Let's go."

  Not giving them a chance to argue, I lead the way out to the car then promptly reach for the front seat. If this Tyle guy hurt her, I will kill him. She is too precious for some jerk that would break up with her then try to get back together with her by bribing her with concert tickets.