by Marie Wathen
Classy.
This will be the longest ten-minute drive of my life.
Mygod, Waverly please be okay. As we get in the car, I hear a familiar voice singing “Happy Birthday” in the microphone along with the loud, drunk crowd. I wonder, for just a second, if I know whose birthday it is today.
Chapter 20
Breesan
(Graduation Party, 12 hours earlier)
Waking up to my cell phone ringing, I know that it’s Anna by the techno ring-tone. I pick it up, click the answer button and put it on speaker.
“Hello?”
“Happy birthday my bestie!!” Today I am nineteen years old. Of course Anna would be the first, possibly the only, person to care enough to remember.
“Good morning” Yawning, I stretch my arms above my head. “What are you doing up so early?”
“Duh, so that I can be the first person to wish you a happy birthday but more importantly to tell you I’ll be over in thirty minutes. So get dress.” Groaning, I lethargically climb out of bed. “I won’t take no for an answer. Get up! We are getting mani-pedis for the pool party today.”
“Fine. I’m up, I’m up,” I pout wishing I could have slept in.
“See ya!” She disconnects and I grin because I know I can always count on Anna to love me, even if I wished she didn’t.
Taking time in the shower, I shave and buff every inch. I can’t have anyone seeing me with hairy legs today. Plus, Morgan and Marcus will be there today and if either gets close and feels one prickly hair, I’ll be mortified. Finally deciding I’ll be friends with Morgan, I know we need to reach an understanding first. I can’t get serious with him, not when I when I feel the way I do about Marcus. But it appears that Marcus has a girlfriend and honestly I don’t even know if it’s in me to be someone’s girlfriend.
What the hell do I want?
I’m usually known to make a decision and stand behind it. Then sometimes I throw it out and make another. So what? I’m a girl, it is my right.
Marcus was definitely jealous of Tristan and Officer Monroe during the storm. Trying to cover me up and forcing me to wear his shirt definitely gave it away. My tee shirt was clinging to me and it was totally embarrassing so I was grateful, but he barely knows me so why was he jealous to the point of needing to protect me? Above all, I am so confused by what my mind is telling me about him. One minute I feel nothing but a normal attraction any teenage girl would have to a very good-looking man; a crush. But then other times my body zings to life and desire pools within me and it’s an all-consuming magnetism.
Dammit get over this bullshit with him already. Just focus on building a friendship with Morgan.
Morgan only wants a friendship. I think, no I hope, that’s all because I can’t give him more. And fortunately for me, I’m sure he has other women to keep him entertained. But he is relentless on being with me. A reasonable explanation for his determination to date me could be that maybe he’s doing all of this in an attempt to hurt his brother again. If so, that’s just fucked up. Realistically, whatever all this shit means is irrelevant and doesn’t fit any to my short or long term plans. Leaving at the end of summer, I want to squeeze out every drop of fun that I can. I can’t deny that I want to get to know them and an innocent friendship with Morgan is as good a place to start as any. Marcus is another story and I’m not sure what starting a platonic relationship with him would do to me.
Sliding up to the kitchen counter, I notice the coffee is brewing. Being a late sleeper, Julia won’t be up this early so I find it odd that she scheduled the timer this early. Hearing a sound on the back deck, I walk to the bay window to investigate. I look around, but from this angle I can’t see anything so I chalk it up as my imagination. Turning away I heard Julia’s voice. Stepping back to the window, I lean out and confirm it’s her. I notice that she is on her cell phone. At the precise moment I resign on waiting for her to finish the call her volume raises and I honestly didn’t mean to eavesdrop. However, her angry tone and odd conversation startles me and I freeze with my face leaning against the window.
“…if I can talk her out of going to the party tonight, what time should I have her at the castle?” Lowering her voice, she checks the side door as if she is hiding something. “If I can’t do it you will have to go there. Katya and Karenna will already be stationed close by. Keep in mind your father and I are expecting you do it today. After all it is her big day, she’s finally nineteen.” Laughing, she pauses listening intently to the person on the other end of this eerie conversation. “Excellent, then it’s settled. Just let me know when it’s done and pay the obscene amount of money that they require afterward. Oh one more thing, I’m leery of Marcus. I think he’s developing a bit of a crush on our little bug. Thank you for handling everything, Son.” She disconnects angrily.
What the fuck?
Pandemonium overloads my scattered mind and I fighting against losing my shit. Needing to clarify, I break down the issues into details. Obviously she was talking about me but why does she want me at the castle tonight instead of my graduating class party at the Walker Mansion? Tristan’s Grandmother planned this party several months ago and she knows that I won’t miss it.
She said she’s getting someone to come to the party to see me, but why? And since when did Julia remember it’s my birthday – ever? She’s never given me a gift for a birthday or holiday either. Who would she want me to see today?
How does she know Marcus or that he would be crushing on me, if he were crushing on me? Most importantly, when the hell did Julia have a son? Ugh, this is so confusing. My mind is reeling. I can’t ask her any of this either, it’s obviously meant to be a surprise. A niggling in the back of my mind warns beyond peculiar behavior and that is may not be a pleasant surprise.
Walking inside, Julia glares at me. Suddenly, a shadow passes across her face and her demeanor catapults to bizarre.
“Good morning bug – uh, Breesan.” Sipping my coffee, I spit it out. Did she just correct herself and call me by my name?
“J – Julia?” I sputter, unable to say anything else. I am clearly looking at someone other than my evil stepmother and I don’t know how to react to her being polite.
“I assume that since you are up so early on a Saturday you’re meeting Anna. What are you plans for the day?” She asks sweetly, refusing to look at me.
Taking a large tumbler from the cabinet, she fills it with sugar and creamer then pours in the hot coffee and spins the top on securing it tightly. Sliding the cap open, she takes a quick sip then closes it all while still avoiding eye contact.
Standing here staring, I wait as the world rights itself again after being thrown into a tizzy at her odd behavior. Long quiet moments pass before she fretfully glances sideway at me. Something has changed or she is up to something. I wish I could gauge her behavior for truth, but I can’t. She has always left me puzzled.
Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I am able to answer at last. “We’re getting manicures then heading over to the Walkers for our graduation party. We have plans to stay there tonight because I’ll help clean afterward.”
Asking anything of my plans or my life is completely uncharacteristic for Julia. She never wants to know details.
Ever
I need to determine what her angle is with all this new concern and plans for me.
“I’m not sure I want you staying overnight. Is that such a good idea?” She says thoughtfully.
Narrowing my eyes, I watch her resolve remain indecipherable. She never questions anything I do. What does it matter where I sleep? I would have to matter to her first before she cares about where I am, who I’m with, or what I do.
“What?” I croak. Clearing my throat, I continue standing here gawking feeling my mouth go suddenly dry. “You really want me to answer that? Julia, is something going on? Why are you asking me these things?”
Quite honestly, I don’t know how to have this type of conversation with this person standing in front
of me. Mom mode is definitely not Julia’s forte.
“Nothing is wrong. I wanted to spend some time with you and was hoping for dinner together. How about we eat dinner at the castle to celebrate your birthday? I can make reservations for eight. Then later I can drop you back at the Walker mansion. You only turn nineteen once and it needs to be special, so what do you say Breesan?”
What the hell?
Again, my head goes haywire with her performance. She really wants to take me to the castle. She remembers it’s my birthday, she said my name, not bug, and she mentioned other things that I cannot wrap my mind around. Frowning at her, I know the woman in front of me looks like my stepmother, but never in a million years would Julia ever say any of this to me. She knows how much I love the castle and would do anything to go there again, but why tonight?
Unsure of her reaction to me saying no, I brace myself for a verbal act. “That would be nice, thank you Julia. But could we go tomorrow night instead? This party is partially my and Anna’s responsibility and…well, I don’t want to let anyone down. Would you be upset if I ask for a rain check?” Brooding, she pins me with a frightening glower as I nervously watch her pleasantries dissolve.
“No, no rain check. Go to the party. Goodbye bug,” she retorts heartlessly. Not even waiting for my response she walks out, leaving me dumbstruck in the wake of her schizophrenic episode. If my turning nineteen could cause Julia to behave strangely, I’m not sure if I’m ready to face the rest of this damn day.
Suddenly, I remember seeing something in the box that I finally opened from the attic. Only having a few minutes to sort through the paperwork, I remember a document mentioning a bank account for me and it saying that when I turn nineteen, all monies will be released from a trust to this account. I wonder if she was planning on telling me about it. Ohgod, what if she was going to give me the box?
Shit
Still frozen in utter disbelief, I spot a movement to my right. Looking up, I see a smiling Anna. As always she’s simply beautiful.
“Hey babes, you don’t look so well. Is everything ok?”
Standing in front of me with her hands on my shoulders, Anna stares deep into my eyes with concern.
“I need to run up to my room for a minute. Stay here, I’ll be right back,” I say nervously. Concern washes across Anna’s face and she grabs my arm.
“What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?” she asks worriedly.
I shrug from her hold and quickly turn on my heels, in search of the box. Rushing into my bedroom, I storm into my closet and snatch the draw open that I stored it in.
“What are you looking for in there?” Anna whispers. Scarring the shit out of me, I jump.
“Damn, what are you doing up here? I told you to wait,” I say reaching for the handle again. Sliding it open, the weight tells me what I know before I see it. It’s gone. “Fuck, what the hell?” I say worriedly. Feeling her small, cold hand on my shoulder, Anna leans in looking into the empty drawer.
“What do you have in there?” she asks nosily.
I don’t need her knowing that I have possibly stolen something from Julia. But where the hell could it be? She never comes in my room and Anna clearly didn’t know what could be in here.
“Nothing, I’m just looking for a smaller purse to take with me. Let’s go.” Shutting the door, I see alarm on her face.
“You don’t keep purses in this drawer. Is something wrong?” she inquires distressingly, glancing between me and the empty drawer.
I sigh deeply. “I’ll tell you if we can just go now. Something’s going on and I’ve got a weird feeling.” Shaken with the disappearance of the box, I grab my small gray wrist-let and overnight bag before running out the door. I need to get away from this house and get Julia’s odd behavior off my mind but I don’t think I’ll be able to shut up the warning signal that repeatedly crosses my mind suggesting that something bad is happening. I’ll feel better when I explain everything to Anna.
At the mall I explain the one sided call to Anna.
“Shut the hell up!” Anna yells skeptically, standing in the middle of Nail Diva while holding a hooker-red shade of polish. “Where is the real Julia? She’s been all ‘Stepford-wives’ for thirteen years and now all of a sudden today she wants to pretend that she gives a damn today is your birthday. I don’t like it. You know I hate the bitch as it is because of the way she is with you, and now she wants to pull some mind-binder shit. No! And there must be some mistake about Marcus. Are you sure she said Marcus? How the hell would she know him well enough to think he has a crush on you? I don’t even know that bit of information. It’s all a bunch of bullshit. And another thing that I’m calling bullshit is her having a son. Where the hell has he been all this time? No mother hides a son from the world for over fifteen years. She is definitely up to something, but you’re not sticking around to find out what. Nothing about that phone call makes sense so fuck her and fuck the castle.”
Freezing in place I stare at Anna while she freaks out unlike anything I have ever seen before. She never cusses because she thinks it degrading. But she has never been a fan of Julia’s. She says that a parent like her should have her rights revoked.
Admittedly, I know it’s not the ideal situation with regards to our dynamics, but I don’t know any different. Until recently, she usually leaves me alone, which I have gotten used to and prefer mostly. Over the years the things that she has done to hurt me include things others take for granted; forgotten birthdays, unappreciated accomplishments, and leaving me to eat every meal alone at home.
Life wasn’t always like this. Happier memories of long ago wash away some of my apprehension from Julia’s call. Before my dad left we were normal. Well, actually dad and I were normal. Julia was around but distant with me even back then. For me it was so much better with my dad home. He was the light in our world. He was so happy and full of energy. He would take us everywhere as a family. He was always showering us with gifts, and more importantly, his attention. That’s what I remember most. I try not to think about it too often because then I would have to admit how much I miss it and it’s just too much.
This musing is pointless…today is about what I am left with and who cares for me, as well as whom I care about. It’s a very short list: Anna, Tristan and maybe I can open my heart just a little more for Morgan, even if it is briefly; but where does Marcus fit in?
“Your toes look hot painted teal and they will match your bathing suit perfectly. I can’t wait to see the look on all the guy’s faces when they see you in that tiny bikini. Your body is amazing this summer. And I think Marcus and Morgan may actually lose it,” she teases, excitedly laughing about the idea of tormenting them.
Distracted with the current niggling in my head, I share more than I should about the guys. “Morgan is cute. He’s attracted to me but I think he’s seeing someone. Marcus confuses the hell out of me. I’m all over the map with my feelings for him. I’m also not convinced he is into me except for wanting to take me to his bed. Although I would never sleep with him it’s a moot point now. I think he may have a new girlfriend.”
Am I actually opening up to tell her my feeling? It’s like my mouth is hinged open and I can’t stop the crazy shit flowing out now.
“Wow, I mean really wow. You’ve never told me so much before. Sorry, but I’m a little shocked. Okay, first you can’t seriously be questioning if they are into you. You are so freaking beautiful and amazing. Even though I am your best friend, I wouldn’t blow smoke.” I laugh and the eye rolling commences at her first bullshit statement of the day. “With the way things have been between you and Morgan lately, I bet he is willing to give up other women for you. I’ll admit that maybe he’s inexperienced with relationships and romance, but he seems to want to try it for you. Marcus, he’s a tough cookie, you already know all of this but he’s different around you. Dang girl he told you he wants you, right? Want to know what I really think?”
Do I?
“I don’t think so.” I giggle nervously, quickly changing the focus back to Morgan. “Maybe Morgan’s never been in a serious relationship, but are you sure that he has never had a girlfriend? I have a feeling that it couldn’t be true. He is over confident and relentless on wanting a date. I really like that we have a very relaxed dynamic too.”
“Sweet! You will make a cute couple.”
Convinced that Morgan likes me, she locks it down that we’re now a couple. I don’t know how to explain to her how strange things are between us and how confused I am. I haven’t even admitted to myself how I really feel about him. I’m still a little scared to feel anything because I don’t want to get hurt. Between the two of them, of course Morgan is the safest bet because Marcus holds the power to hurt me just as much as Anna does.
Does she realize if something happened to her I would crumble?
Refusing to let my mind drift to painful thoughts of losing her, which I know will happen soon enough with her and Tristan moving away to California for school, I try to focus on the relaxing massaging chair while being pampered. It doesn’t help; my mind goes straight back to searing jade irises.
Marcus. My heart whispers a call to him. Dammit girl you’re so stupid for thinking you can let him in. If I allow Marcus in and he somehow manages to get around the protective walls I have built up, he will hurt me even more than I can imagine. Part of me wants so desperately to give in and be with him, but I am scared of the pain that goes along with letting him get too close. He holds part of my heart already. When the summer and our relationship end he will leave me broken. I must keep my wall up, but I have a feeling that spending time with all of them tonight has the potential to put a crack in the foundation of my protection.
“Anna, I don’t want to date Morgan. I never said, nor am I saying now, that I want to date him. Why do you think I want to date him? Because I don’t,” I stammer insistently.