by Hall, Andrew
‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ said Will, watching the mist fade around the park. Further out beyond the trees the fog still lurked like a ghostly shroud; a lingering glow around the crooked houses and the old church steeple.
‘You’d never know we were running for our lives down there yesterday,’ Tabitha replied. Laika lay down again by her feet, watching a blackbird intently in the garden. ‘I thought you’d still be in bed this early,’ said Tabitha.
‘Nah, couldn’t sleep,’ he replied, leaning on the worn metal rail beside her. ‘I’ve had our next mission on my mind.’
‘Already? What’s the plan?’
‘I want to go out and look for survivors, and bring them back here,’ he said. Tabitha looked away from him at the town laid out below. She thought about the swarm, waiting somewhere in that warren of streets. They’d only just escaped the spiders with their lives. Why was he so keen to risk everything again so soon?
‘I think,’ Tabitha began, looking for the right words. What did she think? That it was a bad idea, that someone could die? A lifetime of agreeing with people made the truth hard to say.
‘Just tell me honestly,’ he said, with a shrug and a smile.
‘It’s a really bad idea,’ she blurted out. Speaking her mind always had a new thrill to it.
‘Of course it is,’ Will said happily. ‘So was getting the guns. And the riot gear. But we managed it. And now we’re in a better position because of it.’ He sneezed at the bright sunlight.
‘Bless you,’ Tabitha chipped in.
‘Thanks,’ he chuckled, after another. ‘So yeah, I want us to use our position now to help other people. And then grow the Ghosts to help even more people after that.’
‘Well, it’s a good reason to go out there again, I guess,’ she said, watching a cackling magpie flutter down to the field below. ‘But to be honest, I’m more worried about us five. I just don’t want to lose anyone else.’
‘Me neither,’ Will replied. ‘But we just can’t afford to stand still. We have to keep this momentum going, or else we’ll just be treading water here for the rest of our lives.’
‘Aren’t you afraid though?’ said Tabitha.
‘Oh, I’m terrified,’ he admitted. ‘But fear’s just as bad for us as the spiders are. There’s a trick though, to get past that fear. Do you know what it is?’ Tabitha looked at him, and shook her head. ‘The truth is, we’re already dead. Like ghosts,’ he said, pointing a thumb at the banner behind them. ‘As soon as we accept that, we can really start living. And helping people.’
‘I don’t think I understand,’ Tabitha replied.
‘Well, it’s simple,’ he said. ‘I could die right now just by tripping and falling down those steps. Jim could die of a heart attack while he’s lying in bed, god forbid. Or yeah, a thousand spiders could some climbing up the walls here and drink our insides out, and there’s nothing we could do about it. There’s a million ways to die, just like that. My first day up here taught me that, when I got away from that spider by the skin of my teeth. I mean just look at the world now. Just like that, death can come for all of us.’
‘That’s really grim,’ Tabitha chuckled, running her rough metal palm against the stone wall.
‘It doesn’t have to be,’ he said. ‘You just accept that your end’s coming, no matter what you do. I think this’ll all be easier if we just get comfortable with the idea, do you know what I mean? Death’s a guarantee; it’s only a matter of time and place. With that kind of thinking, we can kill our fear. And then we can go back out there stronger, every day, and fight back. And live a life that people are going to remember us for.’
‘You mean like becoming heroes,’ said Tabitha.
‘Exactly. And I’d sooner go down fighting, trying to help other people. Not holed up starving in a castle, trying to hide away from the world. Not that I’m naming anyone.’
‘No, of course not,’ said Tabitha, smiling. They watched the silent park for a moment.
‘So,’ he said, picking at the peeling black paint on the rail. ‘Going back out there to find survivors. Is it do-able, or have I just gone insane?’ Tabitha looked out at the wild world. Yes, it was a stupid idea. And yes, any of them could die, for the sake of finding a survivor or two out there. But… she was a survivor herself. And they’d taken her in without a second thought.
‘I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t found this place,’ she said, looking out at the world beyond the wall. ‘I probably would have lost my mind along the way. Driving all around the country until something finally killed me. That would’ve been the rest of my life. Short and scary.’ Will nodded. She was one of them now, Tabitha told herself. Part of the family. One of the Ghosts. It was a daft name really, for a group of misfits playing soldiers. But she clung to the idea all the same. She held onto the idea of them because the new world was a violent mess, and this was the one thing that had given her life any meaning since she’d lost everything.
‘You guys gave me something to feel hopeful about, for the first time since all of this started,’ she said. Will smiled.
‘And do you want other people to feel that hope as well?’ he said.
‘Of course,’ she replied. ‘It’s the best kind of feeling, especially now.’
‘Except, people won’t come to us like you did,’ he replied. ‘I mean, what were the chances of you finding a car that still worked? A million to one?’
‘Probably, yeah,’ she said with a smile.
‘There’s other people out there, I know it,’ he said. ‘They’re scared and hungry, and they can’t get to us. They don’t even know we exist. But we can go out there and find them, and bring them back here and keep them safe. We’ve got all the gear, and we’ve got this place to protect them. That’s why I want us to go back out there again. As dangerous as it is.’ Tabitha looked out at the world again, as the mist over town shrank away under the bright sunlight. Her hand went to her mum’s ribbon tied on her belt. She remembered what Will had said the other day, as corny as it was; the Ghosts were rising. More survivors… more Ghosts. A tribe. An army.
‘Let’s do it,’ she said. ‘Let’s go out there and find them.’
‘Fantastic,’ Will replied, beaming.
‘So when do we start?’ she said.
‘Well… I was going to suggest that we leave it for a few days, until you’re feeling better after your blackouts,’ Will replied. ‘But I don’t think that’s going to happen somehow.’ Tabitha smiled, and shook her head.
‘Nope. We’re going today,’ she said.
‘Today?’ Will replied. ‘Well, I might need to see what the others think about that first,’ he said with a grin. ‘But personally, I’m all for it. Get back up on the horse and all that.’ Tabitha smiled. ‘Well, it sounds like Liv’s up,’ he said, hearing a cough inside the keep. ‘I’ll go and ask her if she’s up for another mission. Wish me luck.’ Tabitha smiled and watched him go, and turned back to the world outside the castle.
‘What do you think, dog face?’ she said. Laika nuzzled her hands and licked her fingers as Tabitha crouched down beside her. ‘I bet you think we’re insane, don’t you?’ she said, ruffling Laika’s sides. ‘Mind you, you probably thought people were insane to start with.’ Laika broke into a play fight, and went open-mouthed for Tabitha’s arms. Laughing, Tabitha pushed her away, and knelt down to wrestle with her on the wall. Fending off Laika’s attacks, she pinned her collie down gently on her back. Paws dangling, throat bared, Laika lay there with total acceptance that Tabitha was in charge. She ran her grey hands through the thick white fur on Laika’s chest, and wished more than anything that she could feel it between her fingers. Laika sat up panting and smiling, probably wondering when breakfast was coming. Tabitha knew the feeling. Already she felt that same gaping hunger coming on inside her, draining her. It cramped her stomach and left a hollow feeling in her throat. And yet the thought of eating anything made her want to retch, like it was all rotten flesh or some
thing. Suddenly it dawned on her, a thought so terrifying that it seemed to slide cold and wet down her back. It’d been weeks now. If she couldn’t force some food down soon, and keep it down… she probably wasn’t going to be around for much longer.
‘I’ll be alright,’ she told Laika absently, reassuring herself more than anything. ‘I’ll just keep trying. There’s bound to be something I can eat.’ Laika got up and shook her fur out, wagging her tail by Tabitha’s side. ‘Anyway, mission number three today,’ she told Laika, stroking her under the chin. ‘Wish us luck.’
‘Is this really necessary?’ said Liv, taking the last bits of firewood from the car boot and carrying it across the moor. They’d spotted the wood stacked up outside a DIY store on their drive out of town, and parked up hurriedly to cram it into the car.
‘Of course,’ Will replied, spacing the wood and newspaper out over the rotting skins. They’d driven back out to the moors where they’d found the dead army patrol the other day. Will had insisted on giving the soldiers a proper funeral. They’d forced Jim to stay back at the castle and rest today, since he was limping about on sore legs after yesterday’s chase. None of them doubted his spirit, but Will had to explain to him that if he couldn’t walk around very well today then he couldn’t really run for his life if it came to it. Jim had taken it with good grace, and set to work in his allotment instead. Chris had opted to stay back at the castle again, despite the free space in the car. Will had left him with loud, angry instructions to weed the paths, brush the courtyard and scrub the outhouse toilet before they got back.
Liv dropped the last few bits of timber onto the pile of skins with a knocking clatter.
‘Should be enough here,’ said Will, spreading the pieces around. Tabitha fished the plastic cigarette lighter out of her hoodie pocket and handed it to him.
‘Did you put some of those lighter blocks in here?’ Will asked her, crouching down by the empty corpses.
‘All of them,’ Tabitha replied.
‘Well, at least we know it should catch,’ he said brightly, cupping the lighter flame in his hands.
‘That’s a-all of it,’ said Liv, stuffing the last few bits of newspaper down between the timbers. Will put the lighter flame to a wedge of newspaper. He tossed it into the middle of the pile, and stepped back as the flames crept out into the wood and the lighter blocks. The three of them stood back and watched the fire take hold. The greying skins became shrouded in flames and floating shreds of blackened paper.
‘We should s-say something,’ Liv suggested over the crackling fire, staring at the grim scene.
‘Well,’ Will began, thinking. ‘…We didn’t know these people,’ he said, watching the flames grow. ‘But we know what they believed in. They believed there was something left to fight for, even now. They wanted to bring hope to people, because they knew how important that is. Hope only needs a spark to catch on, and then it spreads. Like fire.’ Liv and Tabitha stood close by, watching as the flames burned away the death and the rot. ‘When we took the guns off these people, we carried on their fight,’ Will concluded. Smoke drifted up into the sky, reaching for the white clouds above. The fire danced hypnotic on the moor. Will turned away from the blaze, looking to Liv and Tabitha. ‘We need to carry on what these people started. We need to give people hope. Like what we were saying on the wall this morning,’ he said, nodding at Tabitha.
‘Why, what were you saying this m-morning?’ said Liv, looking between them. They didn’t seem to see what she was getting at with the question. Well, she couldn’t help but feel suspicious of them. How many conversations had they left her out of, exactly? She used to be the one he told all his plans to. It made sense though really, Liv told herself. Tabitha was just a better catch. Stronger, prettier. What was worse, neither Will or Tabitha had the decency to tell her what was going on between them. She wanted the truth.
‘Well, we were kind of just talking about how any of us could be gone tomorrow, so we may as well… you know, just jump in and find people,’ Will said brightly. Tabitha smiled between them. ‘I mean like, reach out to people, instead of just waiting around being afraid,’ he said. ‘And just live every day like it’s our last, you know? And build a new life together?’ Liv nodded, and felt her heart break. She knew what he was getting at. She should have told Will sooner about her feelings for him. Or told Tabitha. Now she’d never get the chance again. Will and Tabitha smiled at one another, just to rub it in for her. Will couldn’t understand why Liv looked so sad about the idea of heading out to find survivors.
‘I mean, don’t you agree?’ he asked her with concern. She’d always been the one supporting him; why did she seem so down? Was she finally sick of risking her life for his crazy ideas? ‘Liv?’
‘Yeah,’ she said quietly, looking down at the ground. ‘I understand.’ What more did he want from her? Her blessing? So good of Tabitha to keep quiet and let him do all the explaining, like she wasn’t even a part of this. Maybe he just preferred quiet women like that, who’d just stand there looking pretty.
‘Look,’ said Tabitha, pointing behind them. There was smoke drifting up from a distant fire across the fields; a winding black trail springing up into the blue sky.
‘They m-must have seen our smoke here,’ said Liv, trying to bury her feelings. She wondered if it was her stutter that put Will off.
‘It can’t be more than a couple of miles away,’ said Will, watching the distant smoke with a kind of reverence. Liv and Tabitha headed back to the car; Liv took the passenger seat while Tabitha sat down in the back and reached for her assault rifle.
‘Do you th-think we’ll have some trouble?’ said Liv, looking back at Tabitha as she clipped on her seatbelt.
‘Just being prepared,’ Tabitha replied, checking the bolt on her rifle. ‘There’s always spiders somewhere.’
‘I didn’t m-mean the spiders,’ Liv mumbled quietly.
‘Sorry?’ said Tabitha, leaning forward to hear properly.
‘Doesn’t matter,’ Liv replied, looking out of her window. Tabitha went back to checking her rifle.
‘I can’t believe it,’ said Will, nodding to the distant smoke as he sat down in the driver’s seat. He slammed the door shut. Tabitha winced at the hard bang; a pet hate of hers.
‘Let’s go!’ he said, and promptly stalled the car in his rush to get off. ‘Sorry,’ he chuckled, restarting the engine. ‘Right.’ They took off down the dirt path that led back to the country road, and raced off towards the distant sliver of smoke.
‘Hello?’ said Will, approaching the farmhouse cautiously. Liv and Tabitha followed behind him, keeping their rifles aimed at the house. The smoke had been rising out of the chimney; a thick black column that spoke of desperation. Whatever they’d been burning in there, it didn’t smell as clean as wood. Will had parked the car close by, in case they had to make a swift exit from the place. The fields around shone green in the sunlight. Sparrows chirped and fluttered in the hedge as they made their way closer to the house.
‘Keep your guns up,’ said Liv, looking in at the dark windows down her rifle sights. She’d already come too close to a spider yesterday. At least it had sharpened her wits, though. Now she wanted to be ready for anything.
‘And watch out for any dogs around,’ said Tabitha. She thought back to the wild pack, and their jagged clamping teeth on her flesh. She wished that Laika was here with her.
‘Hello?’ Will repeated, trying the handle on the front door. It opened soundlessly, and gave way to a gloomy wall of thick stale air inside. Tabitha followed Will as he went in through the porch; she looked over his shoulder at a dark old living room inside. The floorboards creaked beneath a worn carpet.
‘God,’ said Liv, cringing at the smell when she stepped into the house. She took one last look outside and closed the front door behind her. Better to be stuck in the house with a couple of lurking spiders, than have a whole horde of them following them inside.
‘Is anyone here?’ said Tabitha, splitti
ng off from Will to try upstairs. The old steps warped and creaked under her boots.
‘Be c-careful,’ said Liv. When she stepped into the kitchen, a dirty saucer cracked beneath Liv’s boot. As she turned around to look down she accidentally knocked a jar of mould off the counter with the barrel of her gun. It shattered on the tile floor in a puffing cloud of spores. Liv sighed and stepped away, clearly terrible at following her own advice. ‘Actually, forget being careful,’ she told them, aware of the sour powdery smell of spores. ‘Let’s just g-get a move on, before we catch something.’
‘Definitely,’ said Will, scouring the living room with a look of distaste. He used his rifle to poke a crumpled newspaper to one side on the carpet, revealing a dry pile of shit beneath. A door creaked open at the far end of the living room. Will turned around in shock and pointed his rifle at the figure that emerged.
‘You’ll have to forgive us our current circumstances,’ said an old lady, stepping into the living room. ‘We’ve only been here for a day and a night. I assure you that the mess in here is nothing to do with us.’ She was upright; well-spoken. Her wavy grey hair reached down to her cardigan collar. There was a keen, sharp look about her that hadn’t dulled with age.
‘Are you alright?’ said Will, lowering his gun as she came into the room.
‘Fine, thank you,’ she said politely. ‘Just old.’ She came to stand by the crackling fire, warming her wrinkled hands. ‘Welcome to our little piece of paradise,’ she told them.
‘Have you c-come far to get here?’ said Liv, noting the woman’s accent.
‘We’ve come a long way,’ she replied wearily, with a tired nod. ‘We haven’t eaten in days. So, as soon as we saw your smoke over the hill, we got the fire going. And then we just hoped you’d be the kind of people we actually wanted to come and find us.’