Tabitha

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Tabitha Page 30

by Hall, Andrew


  ‘She’s so l-lovely,’ said Liv, crouching down to stroke Laika’s side. ‘I always wanted a dog when I was little.’

  ‘It’s funny, I never did,’ Tabitha replied. ‘I’ve always been a cat person.’ She thought about Mog back home. Had she abandoned him, or did he abandon her? She hoped he was alright.

  ‘What do you think about Will?’ said Liv.

  ‘As a pet?’ said Tabitha, grinning. Liv laughed.

  ‘Just in general.’

  ‘…I think he’s spoken for,’ Tabitha said with a smile, holding Liv’s gaze. Liv felt something leap inside her. Was it relief? Love? Or just selfishness?

  ‘But I thought you t-two were…’ said Liv.

  ‘What? No!’ Tabitha replied, shocked. ‘Where did you get that idea?’

  ‘On the m-moors,’ said Liv, confused. ‘What W-Will said about you two talking on the wall, and finding new p-people…’ Tabitha was laughing.

  ‘Yeah, finding survivors,’ Tabitha explained, grinning. ‘…You thought he was talking about me and him?’ Liv looked embarrassed. ‘Oh god,’ said Tabitha, giving her a tight hug. ‘Seriously, Will meant finding survivors. There’s nothing going on there, I swear. Cross my heart. Or whatever my heart is these days. Cross my core.’ Liv looked at her, smiled, and buried her face against Tabitha’s shoulder with embarrassment.

  ‘I’m an idiot,’ said Liv, her voice muffled in Tabitha’s hoodie.

  ‘Yep,’ Tabitha chuckled. ‘He’s all yours.’

  ‘So, not even a little b-bit?’ Liv asked her, looking up tipsily from her shoulder.

  ‘Will? No. Honest,’ Tabitha said with a grin. ‘Anyway, I’m really not into the whole pairing-up thing right now,’ she added, sipping her drink. ‘I’ve got a few things to work through first. Grief, identity crisis, body confidence issues…,’ she said sadly, counting on her fingers. ‘Recent ex, probably dead; the end of the world… take your pick.’ Liv smiled in sympathy and took hold of Tabitha’s hand. ‘We’re all grieving though,’ Tabitha added. ‘We’ve all got stuff to deal with. Sometimes I forget that.’

  ‘Do you still regret w-what happened to you?’ said Liv. She felt the cold sandpaper touch of Tabitha’s fingers resting gently around hers.

  ‘No,’ Tabitha replied, smiling. It felt good to say it, even if it was only half true.

  ‘Promise m-me you’re alright,’ Liv slurred.

  ‘I’m fine,’ Tabitha assured her. Liv was getting into looking-after mode again. Tabitha knew she had to put a stop to it, and definitely tonight. ‘Look, you’ve done more than enough caring for me already,’ Tabitha said gently, looking into Liv’s eyes. ‘Do something for yourself for once. Go and tell Will how you feel.’

  ‘Well, I’m just w-worried that he’s got someone else in his s-sights,’ said Liv, tapping Tabitha’s hand with her finger.

  ‘No, I don’t think so,’ Tabitha told her, shaking her head. ‘I mean Will’s friendly with me, but he’s different around you. But if you don’t ask him, you’ll never know.’ Liv smiled and nodded, looking out over the garden under a spellbound summer dusk.

  Tabitha slept fitfully that night in the kitchen, tossing and turning between bad dreams and Jim’s seismic snores across the room. Up above her on the ceiling a spidery shape crept down in the dark, opening its legs out like a clawed hand. Tabitha saw it, but too late. It dropped down on top of her. Reaching, wrestling, stabbing. It drank the life out of her while she struggled quietly against its strength. Tabitha sat upright with a gasp and realised it was a dream, and edged away into the corner to look around at the dark room. She pulled her mum’s rustling note from her bra to hold it close. Laika came to lie beside her. Tabitha felt her heart racing. Or whatever that thing was in her chest that had replaced it. Wringing her hands together nervously, the rough skin rasped. A cold sweat stuck her t-shirt to her back. She was hungry for silver blood; hungry for her next fix. A word came back to haunt her then, and she burst into quiet tears. Freak.

  It was Will’s turn on the new nightly watch, and it was drizzling. He huddled for warmth beside a small fire on top of the castle keep.

  ‘Come on,’ he muttered to the heavens, to the stop-start showers. ‘If you’re going to rain, give me a thunderstorm.’ The fire crackled and guttered when the wind made it over the turret around the top, but for the most part the flames seemed to be surviving the damp. Soaking up as much heat as he could, Will got up from the fire and walked over to the edge of the tower. He leant his body against the wall, staring out into the dark for any sign of spiders coming back. But there was nothing to see; not even the outer edges of the keep. The inky moonless dark may as well have been a black curtain pulled down in front of him; only the warm glow of the fire held it back. He heard the trapdoor creak open behind him.

  ‘How’s it going?’ said Liv softly, climbing up onto the roof.

  ‘Boring,’ he replied, feeling a little rough after his whiskey. ‘What brings you up here?’

  ‘Couldn’t s-sleep,’ she said, wrapping her blanket tight round her shoulders. At least the rain was easing off.

  ‘Wouldn’t be my first place to come to if I couldn’t sleep, I’ll be honest,’ Will said with a smile. ‘There’s nothing to see, for a start.’

  ‘Well to be fair, I came up m-more for the company than the view,’ she said, nodding at the black night all around them. It was like nothing else existed beyond the castle walls.

  ‘Aw, thanks mate,’ he said, grinning. ‘I’m flattered.’

  ‘There was something I’d been meaning to ask you a-about, actually,’ she said, stepping closer to the fire. ‘I j-just wondered what you thought about T-Tabitha.’ She could have been so much more subtle about that, Liv told herself. Why did she have to go and say it like that? She’d never been any good at this stuff.

  ‘She’s awesome,’ Will replied, smiling. Liv’s heart sank. What did he mean? ‘I feel really bad for everything she’s going through, though,’ he added.

  ‘Yeah, m-me too,’ Liv replied absentmindedly.

  ‘I don’t like her that way though, if that’s what you’re asking,’ he said. Liv looked up at him. Before she could say anything else though, she realised how awkward he looked about the subject. He looked away from her, staring into the fire. ‘There was someone that I felt very close to, once,’ he said sadly.

  ‘R-Really?’ said Liv. Her heart may as well have dropped off the castle walls.

  ‘Yeah, she was my best friend,’ said Will, looking off into the dark. ‘It feels like such a long time ago now, with everything that’s happened.’ Liv listened and felt sore inside; a sad, dull ache. ‘I’d never met anyone like her,’ Will said with a smile, reminiscing. ‘We got talking one day, just by chance. Then the more I got to know her, the more I felt like we were completely connected.’

  ‘What happened t-to her?’ said Liv, wanting nothing more than to climb back downstairs and crawl into bed.

  ‘Well like I said, we got to know each other pretty well,’ Will continued, oblivious to Liv’s pained expression. ‘She felt like my best friend,’ he said, pulling his coat in tighter against the wind. ‘Until another woman came along with these weird superpowers, and then my best friend started getting all arsy and jealous...’ He was grinning.

  ‘I hate you,’ she said, once the penny had dropped.

  ‘I hate you too,’ Will replied with a smile.

  ‘Well if you hate m-me, then why did you just take hold of my hand?’ she said quietly.

  ‘To transfer my hate to you. It’s a hate transfer,’ he replied.

  ‘I see.’

  ‘Why did you just put your hand on my cheek?’ he said.

  ‘Hate transfer,’ she said softly, running her thumb across his scars. She felt his hands slide around her waist, pulling her close.

  ‘I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,’ he said softly.

  ‘I’ve wanted you to,’ she whispered back. The dim warm glow of the fire picked out their faces; painted in light
like spirits in the dark. The pressing night surrounded them, deep black without the glow of city lights. The night felt bigger and darker than they’d ever thought possible, back when the real world still stood. But the tiny patch of cold black night between their faces, between their bodies, that grew thinner as they moved closer together. Thinner still, until they were kissing. And suddenly, both caught in that ancient spell cast by wide eyes and warm bodies, the night and its terrors meant nothing at all.

  28

  The next morning Tabitha set out into town with Jim, Liv and Will, moving through the streets with their rifles raised. They headed down the high street and watched the darkened windows around them. They studied their reflections in the windows as they walked, looking thinner and tougher than they remembered. Cracked phones littered the street here and there, lying beside crumpled piles of clothes and fly-swarmed rotten skins. At least there wasn’t any sign that the spiders were still here.

  ‘They really have just up and left, haven’t they?’ said Will, taking off his riot helmet.

  ‘I think it’s as safe as it’s going to get,’ Jim agreed, trying not to look at the skins.

  ‘It’s clear!’ Will yelled towards the castle. Natalie waved up on the distant wall, and ran down to get Paul and Chris into the car.

  ‘Why can’t we go?’ said Grace, waving from the courtyard as they left the gate.

  ‘Because it’s dangerous,’ Sylvia replied, seeing Paul off as he backed the car down the driveway.

  ‘But Will said it’s safe now,’ said Robert, picking his nose.

  ‘Back inside,’ said Sylvia, leading them into the keep despite their protests.

  ‘So what’s the plan boss?’ said Natalie, climbing out of the car. Her pink hayfever eyes reminded Tabitha of Jen, back home. The grief crept fresh over her mind again.

  ‘We’re going to spread out into town and fill the car with anything we can use,’ Will told the group. ‘Food, tools, first aid kits. Anything.’

  ‘Toilet paper,’ Jim suggested.

  ‘Absolutely,’ said Will, smirking. ‘But only the really good stuff.’

  ‘Should we split up, do you think?’ said Tabitha.

  ‘We might get a better mix of stuff that way,’ Will agreed. ‘So, two pairs and a three. Liv, would you like to partner up?’

  ‘I’d love to,’ she replied, with the dirtiest smile Tabitha had ever seen.

  ‘I’ll go with Natalie,’ Chris suggested.

  ‘Alright,’ Natalie replied, looking a little wary of him.

  ‘Me too,’ said Jim, enjoying the scowl on Chris’s face.

  ‘Paul?’ Tabitha said brightly. They nodded to one another.

  ‘Right then,’ said Will. ‘This is the most central place we can park the car, so I’ll see you all back here when the car’s full. Happy hunting!’

  ‘We’ll go to m-my place first,’ Liv suggested, walking down the street with Will. ‘There were a few things I wanted to show you. In my house.’

  ‘I’d really like to see them,’ Will replied as they went, grinning like a schoolboy. Liv turned back for a second and gave Tabitha a dirty wink. Tabitha glanced at Jim; he raised his eyebrows in reply. Natalie caught their eyes and mimed being sick as she watched Will and Liv go. Paul and Chris were aware of the silence, but clueless as to what was going on.

  ‘What?’ said Chris.

  ‘Never mind,’ Tabitha replied, shaking her head. ‘Let’s get going.’ Will and Liv were quickly disappearing into the distance, running down the street like a pair of teenagers.

  ‘So where’s your house?’ said Paul, walking with Tabitha down the high street.

  ‘Oh no, I don’t live here,’ she replied brightly. ‘I lived in Wales before all this.’

  ‘Wales?’ said Paul, surprised.

  ‘I’ve done a bit of travelling since everything happened,’ said Tabitha. ‘I don’t know this town at all, really.’

  ‘Well, we could just pick any house to start with,’ Paul suggested, pausing for a moment for a chesty cough. ‘How about that one?’

  ‘Fine with me,’ she said, following him to the front door. Paul tried the door handle, and it opened with a squeak.

  ‘Wait,’ said Paul, sniffing the air in the porch. ‘Yep, this is a good house.’

  ‘And you can tell just by smelling it?’ said Tabitha, smiling at him.

  ‘Plenty of practice since everything went pear-shaped,’ he said. ‘We’ve broken into more homes than you’ve had hot dinners. …Oh, sorry,’ he said, realising his choice of words.

  ‘It’s fine,’ she said warmly. ‘As long as I’m getting some kind of dinner I don’t care, even if it is alien blood.’ Paul still looked guilty. ‘Honestly, I don’t mind,’ she assured him. ‘If I’m getting a meal, I’m happy whatever it is. I just really don’t like being hungry.’

  ‘Yeah, tell me about it,’ he said. ‘I used to be a 38 waist, before all this happened. Now look at me.’ He sucked his thin cheeks in to make his face look even more gaunt.

  ‘Paul, that’s horrible,’ she said, smiling.

  ‘Yeah, no one likes it when I do that,’ he chuckled, heading down the hallway. ‘Now, the first thing I look for in a house these days is a smaller pair of jeans,’ he said, checking the radiators. ‘My arse is falling out of these.’ Tabitha followed behind him down the hallway, resisting the urge to look at his bum after he’d mentioned it. Paul spotted something in the dining room.

  ‘Look at these!’ he said excitedly, grabbing up a couple of toys from a box in the corner. He turned around with a huge grin, holding up a rocket ship and a tyrannosaurus.

  ‘They’ll love them,’ Tabitha replied, smiling. She couldn’t believe how happy he looked with his finds. ‘Does Grace not go in for dolls?’

  ‘Nah, she’s not fussy,’ Paul said proudly. ‘Is it right though, to take these? …I mean, these used to belong to someone’s child…’

  ‘Best just to think about your own kids,’ Tabitha advised him. ‘Just think about how much they’ll love them. It’s better than leaving them there in that box, surely.’

  ‘Yeah, you’re right,’ he agreed happily, bagging up the toys. ‘They’re going to love them.’ Tabitha thought back to the little old toy shop she’d seen in town, the first day she got here. She didn’t doubt that the twins would love everything in that shop. And Paul would surely take them there and spoil them, if he knew about it. But she remembered the gold chains… all those little padlocks hung up in an X across the door. They couldn’t take those chains down. No… Paul wouldn’t want to take them down either. The thought was just too sad.

  ‘What about Natalie?’ said Tabitha, trying to take her mind off the toy shop.

  ‘Already sorted,’ Paul replied with a smile, producing a pen knife from his pocket. ‘She’s always been the practical sort. Like her mum. Anyway, shall we get hunting in the kitchen? I want to get back and give them their presents.’

  ‘Course,’ Tabitha said happily, leading the way into the hall.

  The kitchen was bright and old, and well looked after. Paul screwed up his nose up at the rotten contents of the fridge, and tried the containers on the kitchen side instead.

  ‘Nice,’ said Tabitha, pulling cupboard doors open to reveal a full shelf of tins.

  ‘Hot chocolate powder,’ said Paul, admiring his find that’d been tucked behind the kettle.

  ‘Your secret’s safe with me,’ Tabitha replied, bagging up the tins.

  ‘Fire blanket?’ he said, holding one up.

  ‘Bound to come in handy,’ she replied, stuffing jars of pasta sauce into the bag. They packed their bags in silence for a little while, content with the simple pleasure of stocking up tins and jars for the castle food stores.

  ‘Do chocolate digestives go off?’ said Paul, studying the out-of-date packet.

  ‘I don’t know, actually,’ Tabitha replied. Paul was rustling some out of the packet. ‘They look fine to me,’ she said, studying the pale dusty coating on the choco
late. ‘How do they taste?’

  ‘Mm. Gvv. Reeryr gv,’ he replied through a mouthful, spitting crumbs all over the floor. He laughed, and sprayed more crumbs in the process.

  ‘That’s classy, Paul,’ said Tabitha, grinning. ‘Real classy.’ Sometimes he looked like the weariest man she’d ever seen. When he smiled though, he looked like a big kid. She waited for him to swallow the dry mouthful before he could speak.

  ‘I’ll keep them for me and the kids, if you don’t mind,’ he said, stuffing the biscuits into his coat pocket.

  ‘Fine with me,’ Tabitha said with a smile and a shrug.

  ‘We used to have this competition sometimes, every night after tea,’ said Paul, as he rummaged through the clattering kitchen drawers. ‘We all dipped our chocolate biscuits in our tea at the same time, and then we’d see whose lasted the longest when we took it out.’

  ‘I used to do that with my dad,’ said Tabitha, smiling at the thought.

  ‘Robert always wins,’ said Paul. ‘I don’t know how he does it. Grace says he’s cheating and using magic biscuits.’

  ‘Well, I believe her,’ Tabitha said happily, filling another bag with food.

  ‘That’s probably best,’ Paul replied, crouching down to look through a drawer. ‘You’ll find that it’s generally just easier to just agree with my kids,’ he said. ‘They’re very opinionated. And stubborn. I’d be lost without them though.’

  ‘I think your kids are amazing,’ said Tabitha. ‘Considering everything they’ve been through. You must be really proud of them.’

  ‘I am,’ he said quietly, turning to look at her. ‘They’re growing up in a world I can’t handle,’ he admitted, wiping his eyes. ‘Robert’s going to be ten times the man I could ever be. And the girls are going to be twice the men he is.’ Tabitha laughed. ‘There’s been some messed up stuff I’ve had to drag those kids through, on the way up here,’ said Paul. His voice was shaking. ‘I dragged them away from their home, after they’d seen their mum die. I wish to god there was some way I could go back and stop them seeing that. I mean… I don’t want to be one of those stern old dads who never makes any room for his kids’ feelings,’ he fretted, staring at his packing on the table. ‘But… I don’t want to be a dad they think is weak either. Especially the way everything is now. How am I supposed to find the balance though? Do you know what I mean?’

 

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