by Joey Bush
A look came over Emerson’s face like he’d remembered something suddenly. “Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the time you spent in Japan. I really want to visit there someday.”
“Oh, Emerson, you have to! It's such an amazing place. You should totally go when the cherry blossoms are in bloom. There are few more spectacular sights in the world.”
“Sounds awesome! If only you could show me around the place, huh?”
I laughed a little nervously, not sure if he was flirting with me or not. I was inclined to believe he was. I could almost feel the walls going back up. Words couldn’t express how much I appreciated what he had just done for me, and if I was being honest with myself, part of me had been pretty turned on by how he’d stuck his neck out for me. But the way every nerve in my body tingled when he’d held my gaze and said what he’d said in front of Ben, it all felt a little too real. And, I couldn't let him inside the walls if I couldn’t trust him. That was the question still to be answered. Could I?
I quickly finished my mouthful of curry and then responded.
“Yeah. It would be cool to show you around Japan, but I doubt I'll ever be back there. And what are the odds I’d be there when you're there?”
A twinge of disappointment glistened in his eyes.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “What are the odds?”
We finished eating in relative silence with a little small talk here and there. When we were done, Emerson asked for the bill.
“Shall we get going? I have some studying to do and you have an MMA class to teach,” I said, trying to lighten the mood a little.
“Yeah, uh, yeah. I guess I've also got things to do.” He forced a tense smile. “I'll go pay for dinner. Hope you enjoyed it.”
“I did. It was absolutely delicious. I'll have to come back here sometime.”
Emerson stood and walked over to the counter. I watched him from behind, and it definitely seemed as if the wind had been taken out of his sails somewhat. A pang guilt rushed over me. Things had started to move too quickly, too suddenly, for me to keep them in check. I wasn't ready for it. Someone had to put the brakes on somehow. If that person had to be me, then it just had to. Anything, to avoid having my soul crushed again. Anything.
I watched as Emerson strode back to the table. He carried himself with such confidence, but the expression on his face didn’t match. I could only speculate why.
“Alright, it's all taken care of. Ready to head out?”
“Yeah. Thanks again for the lovely dinner, Emerson.”
“My pleasure. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”
“Maybe,” I replied cooly. Then it hit me, I had to ride back to the apartment pressed against his back with my arms wrapped tightly around him. Cool was about to go out the window.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Emerson
Having Brooke hold onto me from the back of the bike was nice, but nothing like the ride to the restaurant. Her arms were around me, but it felt as if she wasn't really there. The fire that had burned when I had been spinning that story for Ben and the glow in her eyes when we connected had been undeniable. The way she looked at me when she realized what I’d done for her had ignited more than just a fire in me. It stirred something I couldn’t put a label on. I'd felt great, and it had looked like she felt it, too. The way she had opened up to me, out of nowhere, about the situation with her ex said something. Surely, it meant she felt something for me.
But then, she simply shut down again. The walls shot back up in record time just when it seemed I was about to make a breakthrough.
It was frustrating. Although, after hearing what that Andrew jerk had done to her, I kind of understood. She’d never said how long it had been since it happened. I could only wonder how fresh the wounds were. Having your heart broken in such a horrific way would certainly cut deep and leave scars that could take a while to heal. I could see why she might be hesitant to trust a guy like me. I hadn't made the best impression early on, with the partying, the drinking, and having Melissa hanging around.
It stung a little to think that she might not trust me, that she might question the kind of person I was, especially considering it was my own fault. So, yeah, it stung, but it was understandable. It also made me realize I needed to make some real changes in my life. I'd already committed to the promise I'd made to myself to work hard at school all year, but Brooke made me see it was time to make other changes — major changes. Changes I’d known all along I needed to make, but hadn’t had the right motivation to follow through on. There was no doubt I could do it, I’d just needed a bit of incentive, and Brooke had just given it to me.
It was up to me to correct those early impressions Brooke had of me, to prove to her that I wasn't the guy she likely suspected I might be.
We pulled up to our apartment building, and I maneuvered the bike into its parking spot. I killed the engine, hopped off, and then helped Brooke off the back. I had to admit, just taking her hand to help her off the back sent a thrill racing through my veins.
“Thanks again for dinner and for the ride and for…” She paused before looking up at me. “And thank you for having my back with Ben,” she voiced, still holding the helmet in her hands.
Apparently, our stares held a fraction too long and she quickly averted her eyes and began trying to strap the helmet to the bike. I stepped in to help.
“Dinner really was lovely,” she repeated.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Thank you for going with me. I had fun.”
We stood for a few moments, both feeling awkward and not quite knowing what else to say.
“Well, uh,” she suddenly stammered, “I, uh, I gotta get busy with that studying. So, I guess I'll see you around.”
“Sure,” I replied, disappointed the evening was already over. “See ya later.”
She hurried off into the apartment building while proceeded to lock up my bike. I really wished we could have spent more of the evening together. It was the perfect kind of night for breaking down walls. The sky was clear; the first stars were just starting to sparkle against the dark background. The air was warm with a slight breeze rustling through the trees. It was a beautiful evening. But it was an evening I’d be spending alone, and I simply had to accept that.
I walked up to the apartment, and as soon as I got to my floor, I could hear that Chris was jamming on his new sound system – the bass was thumping all the way down the hall. Suddenly spending the evening truly alone sounded better and better. Remembering how Brooke had said the sound went right through into her apartment, I hurried to unlock our door.
“E-dawg!” Chris shouted over the noise as I walked in. “Welcome back to the man-cave! Grab a beer and let's get this Friday night started the right way!”
“Dude, turn the tunes down a bit,” I insisted as I stepped in and closed the door behind me.
“What?”
“I SAID, TURN THE MUSIC DOWN, BRO! IT'S TOO LOUD!”
Chris frowned and shook his head, but he turned it down. “That better, grandpa?” he said with a smirk.
“Come on, man, you know the sound is going all the way into the neighbors’ apartments. We don't wanna get kicked out of this place.”
“Shit, Emerson, you're sounding like such an old man these days. Lighten up, brah! What the hell happened to the E-dawg I used to know?”
“Dude, look, I'm not saying the music isn't awesome. It is! You're banging on the decks, man, but you just gotta watch that volume. Remember, the previous neighbors already laid a few complaints about us and we got that written warning from management. They could kick us out. And seriously, if someone called the cops and they came here and found all the booze we've got in this place? You haven't forgotten that we're both under twenty-one, right? Come on, man, let's not take risks like that, alright? Let's just keep the volume down to a level where they won't bitch about us.”
Chris rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dad,” he replied.
I shook my head. I
t seemed like it was getting harder and harder to get through to Chris.
“You can at least get yourself a beer, man,” he said. “Stop taking everything so seriously.”
“Alright, alright,” I replied, and I headed into the kitchen to grab a beer. I needed it after the week I’d had.
I grabbed one from the fridge, popped the top, and then sucked back a mouthful of the cool, refreshing liquid. I felt better as soon as I did. I walked out into the living room and flopped down onto the sofa.
“So, what's the plan for the evening?” I asked Chris as I sipped on my beer.
“Melissa and her friends are coming over for some drinks later. I hope you're ready to get your party boots on, bro!”
I groaned. “Aw no, dude. I gotta study tonight, I can't do that.”
Chris folded his arms across his chest.
“You gotta study tonight? Jesus, Emerson, it's Friday night, for Christ's sake! Friday night! No way dude, no way. I'm not letting you sit in your room and read books all night like a nerd. Hell no!”
“Dude, come on. I'm trying to-”
“Trying to what? Nope! No way!”
At that moment, the doorbell rang. He grinned and hurried over to open it.
“There's no way you're gonna get away with studying now!” he said. “These bitches will never let you get away with that.”
“Alright, alright,” I sighed. “But seriously, only like two or three drinks. That's it. I mean it.”
The door burst open and Melissa and her bevy of friends came in, giggling. I shook my head. It really was the last thing I needed. Still, with everyone there and the music going, it was impossible to study and hard to resist. I sighed, sipped on my beer, and mentally prepared myself for the night to come.
***
Four hours later, Nicky Minaj's “Anaconda” was playing in the club, and Melissa was doing her best to get all over me, grinding against me on the dance floor like it was nobody's business. I was pretty drunk, and the lights were starting to blur around me.
Still, I didn't want anything to do with Melissa, as hard as she was trying to have something to do with me.
I simply turned around and stumbled off the dance floor, leaving her to grind it out on her own. I'd had enough, and I’d had way more to drink than intended. It was time to get out of there and get back home. If I drank enough water and ate a big meal before sleeping, there was a chance that I wouldn't feel too terrible when I woke up and I might be able to actually get some stuff done.
I had started toward the exit when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey! Emerson, what are you doing?”
Melissa. Jeez, I just couldn't get away from her.
“I'm going home.”
“Okay, I'll get my bag and tell-”
“No, I mean, I'm going home. By myself. Alone.”
She stared at me with an icy gaze for a few moments; I'd never been so blunt with her before and it was clear she was pretty upset about it. I didn't really care, though; if that's what it took to get her to leave me alone, I was okay with it.
“You know, you can be a real fucking jerk sometimes, Emerson,” she said coldly.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, and shrugged my shoulders. “I’m gonna go now.”
She turned around and stormed off and, although I felt a bit bad, I mostly felt relieved. I grabbed two bottles of water from the bar and headed out of the club to hail a cab.
On the way home, I opened the window and stuck my head out to take in the fresh air. The sky was still clear and starry, and the temperature was still warm. As the cab pulled up outside my building, I decided I’d go sit on the roof for a while before heading off to bed.
I paid the fare and went straight to the back stairwell where I could access the roof of the building. I jogged up the stairs, still feeling the effects of the alcohol, but not as much after drinking the bottles of water in the taxi. I was actually starting to feel a little better.
I headed out onto the roof, staring up at the stars all the while. It was pretty spectacular, despite the light contamination from the city. I'd always loved stars and the night sky, ever since I was a little kid. I walked along the rooftop, heading for the far edge where I could look out over the city. That's when a familiar voice startled me.
“Emerson? What are you doing up here?”
I spun around to find Brooke seated on a fold-up chair. I couldn't help but smile. I hoped that I wouldn't make a fool out of myself, seeing as I was drunk.
“I'm, well, I just like looking at the stars,” I said, feeling self-conscious about my speech having a slight slur. “I just got home, and it was, it was too pretty a night to just stay cooped up inside.”
“You guys were partying again tonight, huh?”
“Um, yeah,” I remarked, feeling a bit guilty. “Sorry, was the noise buggin’ you guys?”
“It was okay. When we turned the TV up, it wasn't too bad.”
“Oh, look, I'm really, really sorry, Brooke. I told Chris to keep it down, and, and, I turned it down myself soooo many times, but he, he'd always, like, turn it right back up, and-”
“Are you drunk?” She locked an almost accusatory stare into my eyes.
“I, uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm a bit drunk.”
Surprisingly, she chuckled, and there didn't seem to be anything judgmental in the way she laughed.
“I can tell,” she snickered. “Where did you guys go?”
“Same place we always go,” I replied sheepishly. “Club 74.”
“How do you guys get in? I mean, you're under twenty-one.”
“Chris' cousin is a bouncer there. He lets us in.”
“And what if the cops were to show up? You guys would be in a world of trouble. Chris's cousin probably would be, too, for letting you in.”
“There's a s-secret back entrance the cops don't know about. He could sneak us outta there if it came to it. Look, I don't really… You know, I don't actually like going out and drinking much anymore,” I slurred, painfully aware of how stupid I likely sounded. “It's just, Chris…he's a, he's a bad influence, ya know? It's so hard to say no to him.”
“Oh, so it's all Chris's fault, huh?” she chided playfully.
I burst into a drunken chuckling fit. “Okay, okay, so it's kinda my own f-fault, too.” I turned my attention back to the sky. “Hey, check it out, there's Orion. See, that's his belt, those three stars, and those other ones, well, that's his b-bow and arrow.”
“Which ones?” she asked, looking up toward where I was pointing.
“Those three, right there — they're his belt.”
“I still can't see.”
I walked over and squatted down next to her. She smelled amazing. I couldn't deny I was feeling pretty damn aroused being so close to her. I hoped she didn't notice. Or, maybe I hoped she would notice. I pointed up. Being right next to her meant she could follow my line far easier.
“Oh!” she said with a smile. “Now I see it.”
“Yeah! Right? Once you've spotted it properly, it t-totally makes sense.”
“Orion's the hunter, isn't he?”
“Yesss.”
“What's he hunting? I mean, what's his bow aimed at?”
I shrugged. “Must be something up there he wants to shoot!”
Her laughter rang across the rooftop. “And, I thought you were about to give me a talk on astronomy. Come on, Emerson, you're letting me down here!”
“Hey! I didn't say I was an expert. I just know where a f-few constellations are.”
“Show me another one then.”
I moved a little closer to her and pointed again. “Well, there's the Big Dipper. See it?”
She followed my finger and smiled with delight as she caught sight of where I was aiming.
“Yes! Right there. Awesome! What others do you know?” she asked eagerly.
“That one right there is Draco, the Dragon.”
“Ohhhhh, do you think Daenerys is up there riding him?”
“Back to our Game of Thrones references, are we?” I joked.
She smiled, and turned her head toward me to say something at the exact same time I turned toward her to say something. For a few electrically-charged moments our lips were merely inches apart and our eyes met in an intense gaze. Every fiber of my being was screaming out for me to lean in just a little closer, and press my mouth against hers. But before I could, she stood abruptly, breaking the moment.
“I-I need to get back inside,” she stuttered, her tone flustered. “Thank you very much for the astronomy lesson. It was nice. Enjoy the stars. Have a good night, Emerson.”
With that, she folded her deck chair and turned to walk off. I watched her go, and, despite the missed opportunity, I smiled and looked back up at the starry sky. Friday had been a good day.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Brooke
Friday had been a really strange day. Who would have thought it would have closed looking at the stars with Emerson on the roof? It had been one rollercoaster ride for sure — riding on a motorcycle for the first time, running into Ben at dinner, having Emerson there to serve up some delicious revenge to Andrew, and then chatting with Emerson on the roof under a beautiful, starry sky in a moment that could have ended with…
A kiss.
Heat gushed through my body at the mere thought of how close I had come to Emerson's lips pressed to mine. They’d been inches away, and the look that passed between us had been indescribably intense.
But I couldn't…I just couldn't do it.
I mean, he was drunk for one thing. But even if he'd been sober, I don't think I could have done it.
Or…maybe I could have.
I climbed into bed with nothing but thoughts of Emerson’s warm mouth spilling over mine.
***
With a cup of hot coffee steaming on the desk next to me, I logged into my email to check if there was anything from my parents about the upcoming family barbecue in honor of my dad's fiftieth birthday.
There wasn't, but there was an email from the college’s activities director. It was about the RAG Society — an acronym for Remember And Give. They were a group involved in a number of fundraisers on campus that raised money for local charities. They were looking for new members to sign up. I'd wanted to join last semester, but my class schedule had conflicted with their weekly meetings. However, it looked like I'd be able to make the meetings with my new schedule. I'd been involved with various charity work throughout my life, and last semester it had been something I had sorely missed. I was looking forward to the opportunity to get back into it.